Emma halted a moment. She was coming to the most difficult part, now. The source of all her pain and trouble. She glanced at Jake and saw that he was looking at her. His brows had furrowed, his features grim, as if he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing.
"What happened?" he asked softly.
Emma sighed and shook her head. "When we got to Billings I met with the couple who were supposed to provide a loving home for Bethany and Clara."
"Let me guess," Jake interrupted. "They didn't turn out to be the loving family types?" His voice was filled with skepticism.
Emma smiled weakly. "That's putting it mildly. From the first minute I was with them, I knew there was something wrong." She frowned. "It just didn't feel right, to me. They were cold and unpleasant. Almost like they assumed the children already belonged to them. Some more digging confirmed to me the Whitney couple had not represented themselves accurately to the Foundling Society." Emma gazed at Jake. "They weren't good people, Jake. You understand, don't you?"
To her relief, Jake nodded. "I know what it means to have a bad feeling about folks. Sometimes it's hard to know what to make of that feeling in the pit of your stomach. Like, when something just doesn't feel right."
"That's exactly how I felt," she exclaimed, amazed that he could discern how she'd felt when confronting the Whitney couple.
"And the children?" Jake asked.
She squinted at him. "What do you mean?"
"Did they instantly take to their new parents?" he asked wryly. "I'm figuring they were smart enough to tell things weren't going to work out."
Emma nodded. "Yeah. It's funny you should say that. Both girls looked terrified from the minute we met Mr and Mrs Whitney."
"They were scared?" Jake asked sharply. She could hear disgust in his voice.
"They were," Emma confirmed. "But they didn't hold back from showing they didn't want to be there. Bethany outright told them, straight to their faces, she wasn't going to stay." She smiled. "That didn't go down too well with the couple."
"Those little girls sure are bright," Jake announced with a surprising hint of admiration in his voice. She'd noticed how Jake and the girls had bonded since arriving at the ranch. But she'd had no idea his appreciation for them was so deep.
"So, I had to make a decision," Emma continued. "Right there and then. I had to choose whether to leave Bethany and Clara with the couple. Or take the girls with me."
Jake turned and faced her. "That must have been hard for you to deal with."
"The charity warned me about the possibility before I left. It does happen from time to time. But this is my first trip accompanying foster children out here." Emma sighed. "I guess we were just unlucky."
Jake shook his head. "On the contrary. I think the girls were luckiest people in the world. Having you along meant they didn't end up in a miserable home."
Emma shrugged. "I was only doing my job."
Jake's brows furrowed. "No. You were keeping those children safe. Doing God's work. That's more than just doing your job, Emma."
She felt her cheeks flush with heat. His words sounded sincere, genuinely heartfelt. He understood how far-reaching had been her decision. It affected her life and the future of the children. She was glad he could see it from the perspective of his faith. It was also how she saw it. "So, we left. In a hurry," she continued. "The Whitney's did what they could to stop us."
Jake's eyes widened. "Did they make things difficult? Did they threaten you and the children?" There was a hard edge to his voice. A tone she hadn't heard before. His shoulders tightened as he awaited her answer.
Emma shook her head. "Thankfully, no. But Mr Whitney said he'd call the authorities on me. That he'd do whatever it took to keep the children. Claimed they already belonged to him and his wife." Emma shook her head incredulously.
Jake gasped, and once more she sensed his utter disgust at the conduct of the foster couple.
Emma straightened, recalling the difficulty of leaving the Whitney household and the frantic race to the stagecoach. The sense of panic she'd felt. Bundling the children along the dark streets in a strange town. The feeling that, at any moment, she would be seized and compelled to hand over the children. "I knew there were no trains. So I did the only thing I could think of. I took the children with me and caught that overnight stage out of Billings."
She saw Jake lift his head up to the heavens and heard him groan audibly. He shifted closer to her, almost touching her. But he held back, as if realizing that this wasn't the moment for such a gesture. "Dear Lord. What you've been through, Emma." He uttered the words with a tone of complete disbelief. "And the children. What must they be thinking? How have they coped with this?"
"They're made of strong stuff," she replied. "Don't forget. They lived on the streets."
Jake shook his head and she could see pain etched on the lines of his face. "They've had a hard life. The last thing they deserve is trouble like this." He eased closer to Emma. She felt her whole body come alive now that he was within touching distance. Even in the semi-darkness, she could see the earnest concern in his eyes. "At least they have you," he murmured.
"Maybe not for long," she replied.
His features tightened. "What do you mean?"
"That telegram I received," she said. "It was from the charity." She peered into his eyes. "They've ordered me to bring the children back east."
Jake's mouth opened. He looked stunned. "You're leaving?" he gasped.
Her heart was hammering and her pulse was thundering in her ears. "I have to think about it. If it's what they want me to do, then I may have no choice."
Jake leaned back and ran a hand through his hair. "But you can't leave," he exclaimed. "What about the children? The new life they've found here. They can't just be taken away from this."
She peered at Jake, seeing the pain her revelation had caused. "I don't have any choice, Jake," she moaned. Until now, she'd only speculated about the intensity of Jake's attachment to her and the children. She'd seen the way he'd brought the three of them into his family life. And she was grateful. But, was that all? What she was feeling right now seemed like more than just gratitude.
And then he reached across and took her hands in his, snaking his fingers in hers. Emma gasped as sensation quivered through her entire being. His touch was gentle, but exquisitely defiant. She didn't even try to remove her hand from his tender grasp.
"This can't happen," Jake declared softly. "I won't let it happen."
She couldn't find words to counter what he'd said. The truth was, she didn't want to reject his declaration. Emma saw his gaze flicker hesitantly down to her mouth. His eyes narrowed appreciatively. Her chest tightened as he drew her nearer. For one brief second, she considered wrenching herself free, determined to go running back to the hall in Main Street. But she didn't.
Being with Jake like this felt, somehow, right. Everything around her seemed to become unreal. Dream-like. And when Jake leaned his head closer, she knew she wanted him to kiss her. His lips touched hers, softly and tenderly. She closed her eyes, the moment overwhelming her. The unthinkable, the impossible, was happening, and she suddenly felt her will become weaker. All the resistance she'd been mounting since her attraction to Jake had begun to stir, eased away, leaving a wonderful, and blissfully, tender sensation in its wake.
Then, Jake leaned back and the kiss was ended. Shocked, she gazed at Jake, seeing a sudden torment on his features. He sighed and looked urgently at her. He stood, his fists curling into tight balls. He lifted his head and groaned. She had the awful sense that he regretted what he'd just done. A heaviness settled in her middle. She couldn't swallow and she was desperate to hear him say anything that would break the terrible silence.
Emma stood and Jake turned to face her. Her worst fears were confirmed. She didn't need lamplight to see regret written all across his features. He'd made a mistake, and now he was going to try and apologize. But, she didn't want to hear those words. Didn't think she co
uld take the disappointment. She'd suspected this wasn't going to go well, and she'd been right.
Just as Jake extended a hand, and opened his mouth, about to speak, Emma turned and, with all the speed she could summon, began to walk quickly back toward Main Street.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
He'd been a fool, and he knew it. Riding his horse out across the rangeland the following morning, beneath the bright sunshine, in the cool beginning of the day, Jake reflected upon the events of the previous evening.
Giving in to the feelings which had been growing these past few days, acting rashly and impulsively, had been a bad idea. When he'd watched Emma striding away from him as he'd stood by the river, after he'd kissed her, he'd felt something heavy sinking in his middle. He was sure of it. He'd offended her by his insensitive, selfish act. But, the news she'd given him had been so earth-shattering. Emotion had taken hold of him in a way he had never experienced before.
The kiss had been tender. Unforgettable. A product of a madness which had seized him upon hearing that she might be leaving Inspiration. That he might be about to lose her. Forever.
But, it had backfired, probably ruining any chance he might have had to find his way into Emma's heart. That notion had possessed his mind these last few days. At the ranch, the moments he'd spent with Emma and the children had touched him in a deep way, a surprising manner that had triggered ideas. Tempting ideas. The way it had turned out, temptation had gotten the better of him.
Jake guided his horse across the flat grassland and halted on a ridge from which he could gaze out to the southern horizon. In the distance were the forests, valleys and plains of this wonderful land. A territory which, over the last four years had become a part of his very being. He couldn't imagine living anywhere else.
As far as Jake was concerned, God had bestowed a grace upon his family by bringing them to this place. God had given him and his family a new life. Jake's sister Abigail had been graced with a wonderful husband, Noah. And a child on the way to transform their lives.
And now, it seemed He had brought a beautiful young woman, and two special children into Jake's life. And Jake's actions had probably guaranteed that Emma would go running away from Inspiration as fast as she could, taking the children with her. Emotion tumbled through Jake as he considered the consequences of those actions. As he considered what he might be about to lose.
He leaned on the pommel of his saddle and sighed. He'd risen early, before anyone else, and left the ranch house. Today was Sunday. Church day. So, he wasn't going to be doing much work before going to church. That had always been the custom. But, right now, with the way he was feeling, Jake told himself he might have welcomed some honest hard work. Anything that would allow him to forget his foolishness of last evening.
When he'd reentered the town hall, he'd found Emma at his cousins' table, alongside Bethany and Clara. Emma had behaved as if nothing had happened. As if Jake's kiss hadn't even taken place. She'd glanced at him as he'd sat down at the table, but had done nothing to indicate that she was even thinking about their encounter by the riverside. She'd been the perfect model of politeness for the rest of the evening.
After the social, she'd gone with Grace and Bethany on the other carriage. On his carriage, as it had trundled up the trail in the moonlit semi-darkness, Jake's mother had given her son a few querying looks, but he'd managed to avoid any awkward conversation. The fact that Clara had been sitting, wedged between Jake and Matilda, had meant all the talk had been about everything Clara had found exciting and fun.
Back at the ranch, everyone had retired to bed. The girls had been exhausted by all the fun they'd had. Emma had said goodnight to Jake, Grace and Matilda, and had thanked them for a lovely evening. Her words had been spoken quietly and politely. Her lack of emotion, the fact that once again she had withdrawn inside herself, had made Jake feel a hollowness inside. Caused him to chide himself for his rash action. Sleep hadn't come easily.
Jake drew in a deep breath, trying to figure out what he was going to do to repair the damage he knew he'd done. She'd revealed the truth to him. A terrible reality which must be hard for her to cope with, he told himself. She'd saved the children from an awful fate. Emma had behaved with absolute integrity, a godly devotion to duty, taking responsibility for the welfare of Clara and Bethany, and keeping them safe from harm. Respect for Emma rose up in his chest.
Jake shook his head, unable to comprehend what she was going through. What the children must be feeling. He could only admire the toughness of those children, he told himself. What Emma had said was true. Bethany and Clara had learned how to survive. And they were using every one of those lessons while dealing with the uncertainty of their current situation. But, no doubt, they'd be looking to those around them for help, needing the adults in their life to act responsibly.
And that included their temporary guardian. Because, even if it wasn't official, Emma was their guardian. He was sure she wasn't going to let the girls down. She'd do what was necessary. Even if it meant leaving Inspiration and taking them back east to start all over again.
Jake shook his head. That didn't make sense to him. Not now that they'd found a place where he was sure they could be happy. All the children needed was a stable home. Surely that could be found in Inspiration. There were plenty of families who would welcome two wonderful children into their home.
And then another thought took hold of Jake's mind. Those children wouldn't want Emma to leave them. It was obvious that they loved her and trusted her. Bethany and Clara already treated Emma as if she were their mother. The closeness was there for all to see. Any home the girls found would have to include Emma as their mother. He was sure of that. But that could mean only one thing, Jake told himself.
All Emma needed was a husband.
Someone who could provide an alternative family home than the one which had been snatched from them at Billings.
If Emma married, then it would be most likely that the children would be granted to her by the Foundling Society. Any sane local judge would accept that as the common-sense solution instead of dragging them back east.
If Emma married, then the children would be safe.
Jake's heart seemed to tighten at those thoughts. He tried to swallow and found it next to impossible. His fingers curled around the pommel and he sighed.
His heart pounding, he turned his mount back in the direction of the ranch house. Thundering across the rangeland, Jake's mind was a maelstrom of warring thoughts. He was glad of the distraction of the ride back to the house.
Arriving at the ranch house, he saw Grace standing on the porch. When she saw Jake, she waved urgently to him. He drew his mount to a halt in the yard, dismounted quickly and tied the horse's reins to the hitching rail in front of the porch. Grace peered at Jake and then glanced nervously in through the sitting room window.
He strode onto the porch. "What's up, Grace?" Jake asked abruptly.
"Meeting," she announced, tilting her head in the direction of the sitting room. "Ma says Emma wants to tell us all something before we go to church." Grace's eyes widened. "Something real important."
Jake's heart skipped a beat. He forced his features to remain neutral. "I wonder what that could be," he said.
"Let's go find out," Grace replied, walking away from Jake. He followed his sister into the house. In the sitting room, he found Matilda and Emma sitting opposite one another by the empty fireplace. There was no sign of the children. From upstairs he could hear sounds of them moving around in their room. Maybe Emma didn't want them to hear what she had to say, Jake told himself.
Emma glanced at Jake as he entered. Her gaze followed him steadily as he took his seat on the sofa. Grace sat down next to him. Emma's features were slightly pale, Jake observed. She was worried.
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