“Wait.” I grab ahold of his wrist, and as I do, the usual current races through me from just a simple touch of his skin on mine.
“I need more than that.”
“More than what, Abs? I just reenacted our first meeting. I told you that we had sex. What more do you need from me today?”
“I don’t know,” I tell him honestly. I have no idea how much more I really expect out of him today. All that I know, is with every detail that he gives me, another question forms in my mind. “I guess I just need to hear all of it. What did we do for our second date? Where did we have sex? Was it awful? Messy? Super awkward? Please, let me hear it. Or, show me.” The last words leave my mouth before I even have time to realize what I’m asking of him. He immediately notices it, and his eyes turn almost black.
“Abby.” He growls, jerking his hand out of mine. “No. Just stop, alright? I’m willing to tell you, and show you some things, but we will not be repeating any of the shit that went down between us. That ship sailed a long time ago. I don’t want you to get any ideas…”
“I have no ideas.” I throw my hands up. “I just want to fucking feel something, Liam. Something is better than nothing. I’m not asking you to have sex with me, I’m just asking for…” I don’t know what I’m asking for. Honestly, I haven’t the slightest clue. But Liam doesn’t need me to finish, because he already knows that. It’s almost as if he can read my mind.
He sighs loudly, and then shakes his head, running his big hand through his thick hair, before growling loudly and turning back towards his truck. I follow quickly behind him, my feet slipping and sliding underneath me as I try desperately to catch up to him.
“Liam!” I reach for him at the same time that he turns around. The slick snow causes me to fall forward, crashing into his body as his arms grab ahold of me tightly, breaking my fall.
It’s in that moment, that the world stands completely still.
With his arms wrapped tightly around me, all of the noise inside of my head fades down to nothing more than just a hum. All of the questions that continuously circle my mind vanish. The feeling is so good. So incredibly fucking amazing, that I fall into him, resting my head against his broad chest. At first, he stands as still as a statue, his hands fisted around me, not allowing himself to touch me. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t need him to. I just needed to feel him, and to feel this.
Without even realizing what I’m doing, my head tips back, and I rise up on my tiptoes. My lips brush across his, gently at first, until I feel the fire erupt inside of me. If I thought that my body ignited from his touch, let me tell you, that the feeling of his lips on mine is like feeling the whole damn fire. My lips burn, and ache against his. My breathing is rapid, and my heart races as I wait for him to respond.
When he doesn’t return the kiss, I pull back just enough so that I can see his face. His beautiful features are twisted, and he doesn’t look like he’s happy that I kissed him at all. In fact, his face looks a lot like regret.
“Abby.” His hands wrap tightly around my arms and he pushes me away. “What in the fuck are you doing?”
“I’m sorry.” I honestly really am. I didn’t intend to kiss him, I just couldn’t help myself. I’m so fucking drawn to this man that I can’t even seem to keep control over myself. “It just felt…”
“It felt wrong.” His eyes don’t even meet mine. “It’s always gonna be wrong, alright? And we can’t be doing this shit. I already told you, I can’t fucking do this with you. You’ve got another man’s ring on your finger, and I…”
He doesn’t need to finish. His unspoken words hang heavy in the air between us. They shouldn’t make me feel the way that they do, but dammit, it feels like someone just let all of the wind out of my sails.
“Oh, fuck.” I take a step back from him, desperate to put some distance between us. “There’s someone else, isn’t there?”
I’m stunned, for which, I feel completely stupid. Of course, there’s someone else for him. Look at the man. Did I honestly expect to show up here, and find this gorgeous man, with his deliciously sinful body, single?
I think the fuck not.
“You don’t have to answer that.” I wave him off, and then begin to nervously twist the ring on my hand. “I mean, it’s none of my business. You’re right, I’m engaged, and, I shouldn’t have done that.”
I dart around to the passenger side of his truck, my face flaming. He stands out in the cold for a few minutes, staring straight ahead at the water, and likely, trying to collect himself from having some crazy person throw herself at him. When he gets into the truck finally, he turns to me for just a second. I immediately wave him off and turn my attention out of the window.
Not another word is spoken between us the entire ride home.
11
Abby
Ancient History
“What is this place?” I look around the crowded bar, feeling more than a little bit uncomfortable. I’m out of my element, that’s for sure, but I couldn’t resist jumping at the idea of getting out of the house tonight. Sitting at home alone only gives me more time to dwell on all of the madness going on inside of my head.
Forget all of that.
The last week has been rough. I’ve texted Liam several times, not getting even the slightest response from him. I’ve become a stalker, staring at his Facebook page, reading all of his posts, and wondering why in the hell he hasn’t contacted me.
I mean, I know why he hasn’t. He basically told me that he was staying away from me, for my own good. It’s fucking maddening. The last thing that I need is someone else making decisions for me.
A part of me feels used. Like I’ve been played. I mean, I just don’t understand any of it. One minute, he acts like he’s infatuated with me. The next, he’s running away, and telling me that it’s because he can’t do this with me. That I deserve better.
At this point, I’m ready to call him on his bullshit. It has nothing to do with what’s good for me. I’m sure that whatever game he’s playing with me here, he’s the one gaining something from it. What, I can’t be sure.
It doesn’t really matter, though. It doesn’t make the pain that I feel any easier to bear. It doesn’t stop my heart from breaking when I think about him. It’s all just too much.
I’ve been moping around the house all week. Not that either of my parents noticed, of course. They were both too wrapped up in themselves this week to see that their only daughter is just about at her breaking point. It doesn’t matter, though. It’s never going to matter.
It’s time for me to get my life in order and stop letting other people direct my path. First, though? I have to find out exactly who I am. I already know who I’m not. I’m definitely not the girl planning on going to Harvard in the fall, regardless of what my parents say. I’m not the girl who is willing to let anyone besides myself direct my path. And most definitely, I am not the girl who is a sad sack, the one who sits at home and mopes over the boy who didn’t really want me.
Nah. That girl needs to scoot.
In her place is the new Abby. The fun Abby. The one willing to blow off steam, get drunk, and dance the night away with the girls. Of course, I don’t really have a group of girls that I want to do this with, mostly, because all of the girls that I went to school with are about as fake as acrylic nails. But even still, that didn’t stop me from calling the two least annoying ones in the bunch. Don’t judge me, alright? I needed someone to get me out of the damn house.
“I can’t believe that you’ve never been here.” Ana, one of my acquaintances from school rolls her eyes as she sighs in disgust. “I swear, it’s like you didn’t experience any of our high school years.”
She’s right, I didn’t. Mostly, because I avoided places like this, and people like her, as much as possible. Ana isn’t someone that I would call a friend. Not by a long shot. Her nose is always held high in the air, she talks badly about people when they aren’t around and then is sickeningly sweet to their f
aces, and she most definitely thinks that her shit doesn’t stink. She never goes far without her sidekick Gabriella, who is equally as fake, and follows her around like a puppy dog.
They are the Summer Daron’s of the world. The future members of the Stepford Wives club. I imagine that someday, in the near future, they’ll each be married to some rich douche bag, and be spending their mornings bent over at the country club, getting their kicks off by getting railed by the help.
So, while they aren’t exactly my cup of tea, they are usually available to hang out. In a pinch situation such as this, I’m willing to deal with them for the night, since it’s socially unacceptable to get trashed all alone. I brought the vodka, which I stole from Summer, of course, and they chose the place to party. Hence, this club.
Since we’re all underage, we drank pretty heavily before we set foot inside. Ana is more daring than I am, even on my best day, so she smuggled in a water bottle filled with the remaining vodka. So far, she hasn’t been caught.
This place is unlike anything that I’ve ever seen before, mostly, because I don’t ever frequent establishments such as this. I’ve always been more comfortable being home, in my leggings and oversized T-shirts, puttering around my kitchen and creating fabulous treats. I much prefer to be lying in bed with a good book versus going out on the town to party.
But lately, at least, since meeting Liam Worth, being alone is my least favorite thing to be, only because thoughts of him surround me, threatening to swallow me whole.
I know it’s ridiculous for me to be feeling this way. I suppose it’s a pretty normal reaction, falling for the guy who takes your virginity. I’m sure that I’m not the first girl to be thrown for a loop like this, and I certainly won’t be the last.
Where Liam walked away from me, unscathed of course, I haven’t been so lucky. His face haunts me when I sleep. When I lay in bed at night, I hear the sound of his voice, I hear the lines that he threw in my direction, and I hear the sound of my name leaving his lips, as he lost himself inside of me.
I thought that what we had was magic, but instead, it was just smoke and mirrors. A likely reaction from a pathetic girl such as myself, for the little shards of attention thrown my way. It’s pretty sad, actually.
Pushing all thoughts of him out of my head, I focus my attention on trying to have a good time. It’s wall to wall people in here, music is blasting, and the lights are dim. It’s so loud that I can hardly hear myself think, let alone make out any of the words that Gabriella is trying to say to me right now. So instead of trying to figure it out, when she grabs my hand and leads me out onto the dance floor, I don’t resist her.
We laugh, and dance for a while, and as we do, some of the sadness that I’ve been feeling starts to slip away. I take a few more sips out of Ana’s water bottle, and as the vodka sets in, my body moves even more. I’m laughing more than I have in a while and actually enjoying myself.
But my laughter soon dies when Ana grabs ahold of my hand, leading me towards the staircase and drags me up the flight, to a different level in the bar.
“It’s almost showtime, Abby.”
“Ah.” Gabriella sighs, leaning her shoulders into me. “You, my friend, are about to have an eye orgasm.”
I really fucking doubt it.
“Fuck that.” Ana’s head falls back as she laughs. “Last week, I had an actual orgasm, standing right here, against this same wall. I think that he even felt it.” Her grin is mischievous. “He looked right at me and landed another punch at the same time that I was soaking my panties. It was so hot.” She sighs. “It was almost as good as actually having him all to myself, which I plan to, by the way. The second that trampy girlfriend of his overdoses, I’m moving in for the kill. At least for a night, you know?” She winks at me. “It’s not like we could ever actually be a thing. He’s from the Bricks.” She says it with such disgust that it makes my skin crawl. “But he’d be real fun in the sack for a onesie.”
“I’d do him twice,” Gabriella croons, making Ana’s head fall back. As a loud moan leaves her lips, all of the heads turn in our direction. She finishes her performance by winking at all of the muscle filled men in the room.
Personally, I’d like for the floor to swallow me whole. I hate this kind of attention.
“Who are you guys even talking about?” I’m lost, which is par for the course. I’m not up to speed on basically, anything.
“You’ll see.” Ana winks at me. “Lady Killer is on next. You’ll know immediately why he holds the number one spot in my spank bank. He’s fucking gorgeous, and he’s like, seriously bad. I heard he’s even been locked up.”
“I heard he killed someone,” Gabriella pipes in. “It totally ups his hotness level,” she tells me and then points to a spot next to her on the wall. “Just stand right here, Abby. Prepare to be blown away.”
I do as she instructs, and once my back is firmly against the wall, only then do I begin to look around. This level of the club is so different than the floor above us, that honestly, it doesn’t even look like it should be in the same building. It has its own separate entrance, flanked with two bouncers who actually do look like they’ve done some time inside.
The bar that sits off to the back, has two bartenders clad in clothing so small, that most of their body spills out, on full display. There at least twenty tables with chairs scattered in front of us, and at the very front of the floor, is a large, metal cage.
It’s quieter down here than it is upstairs, and replacing the preppy, college crowd, is a group of people who look a bit rougher. The women up here, aside from us, of course, look like they’ve lived a hard life but are down for anything. The men look rough. That’s the only word that I can find to describe them.
Obviously, I feel incredibly out of place. I press my body even harder against the wall, hoping to God that I don’t stick out like a sore thumb even though I’m certain that I do.
“Are you guys sure about this?” I hate to be the one to ask, but dammit, I am so uncomfortable up here.
“Abby.” Ana rolls her eyes. “It’s fine. We’re untouchable, anyways. If anyone up here even considered laying a hand on us, my dad would have their asses tossed in the slammer, and he’d throw away the key. These lowlifes recognize money and power.” She rolls her eyes. “Which are things, that all three of us have.”
“Oh!” Gabriella interrupts her and begins hopping on her feet. “It’s his song. It’s his song!”
Music begins to blast from the speakers over our head, and the lights above us begin to dim. The lights over the cage, however, turn on full blast. I have to squint until my eyes adjust, but once they do, my heart literally drops to my feet.
“That’s him.” Ana sighs, leaning her back against the wall, and staring straight ahead at Liam with lovestruck eyes. “That’s Liam Worth. And fuck me, if I don’t want to fuck his brains out.”
“Yessss,” Gabriella purrs, before making a few more sounds with her mouth, watching Liam intently in the ring.
Personally, I don’t know what to think. For starters, I’m surprised that Ana and Gabby even know who Liam is. Second, I’m irritated that they also find him devastatingly handsome. Third, I’m jealous as fuck. If Liam hooks up with one of the two of them, or has in the past, I’m going to lose my shit.
“That’s the guy that you two have been talking about?” I play dumb, as though he isn’t the man who I’ve let snatch my V card. As if he isn’t the man who I fell hard for, only to get played like a damn guitar. “Who is he?”
“He,” Ana starts, “Is Liam, the Lady Killer, Worth.”
“Damn right he is,” Gabriella pipes in, staring at the cage in front of us with lovestruck eyes.
“Why do they call him Lady Killer?” I try to keep my voice even, as to not bring attention to the fact that I’m about to pass out, right here, on the floor of this bar.
“I don’t know.” Ana shrugs me off. “I mean, look at the guy. He’s a dirtball, but he is sexy as hell.”
/>
I cringe.
“I think it’s because he slays the pussy,” Gabriella pipes in again, and I immediately begin to despise her. “Too bad he has a girlfriend, otherwise, I’d be willing to put that theory to the test.”
“Girlfriend?” I raise a brow at her trying to look uninterested, even though I’m now hanging on her every word. “I don’t know the guy, but he doesn’t exactly strike me as the settling down type.”
“I really don’t think that he is.” Ana sighs. “I always hear about him hooking up with randoms, but those girls must have balls of steel. I wouldn’t mess with Letty Trevino’s man. I’ve heard she’s stabbed people. That girl is crazy, with a side of psychotic. He cheats on her, but she always takes him back. He must be as amazing in bed as he is to look at. That’s the only way these chicks are putting themselves in death’s way.”
A sickening feeling erupts in the pit of my stomach. I’m one of those chicks. One of the randoms. One of the girls with a death wish.
My head spins, as my stomach rolls. I figured that I had been played, but to be honest, actually knowing for sure makes me want to vomit. Am I really that pathetic, that I would fall for the lines that Liam fed to me, and then run right after him, giving him the most precious gift that I had to give away?
I mean, he didn’t ask me for it, so to speak. I went to him, with only one thing on my mind. And even after that day, even after he tossed me out of bed and told me never to come back, I still continued to fantasize about the guy. What in the fuck is wrong with me?
My vision tunnels as I stare at him in the cage. I’m filled with fury, so much in fact, that if he weren’t currently standing in that ring right now, getting his fucking ass kicked, I would hop inside, and throw a few punches myself.
“What is happening right now?” I hear Ana, but I don’t bother looking in her direction. She’s not speaking to me, anyways. Her head is dipped towards Gabriella. “He’s getting his ass kicked tonight. That’s so weird. He usually wins.”
The two of them continue to watch, but I just can’t. I feel too sick, too heartbroken, and honestly, the vodka that I drank isn’t settling well in my now twisted stomach.
Worth Repeating (Worth It All Book 1) Page 9