by Ann Mcintosh
“I’d appreciate it, actually, since usually by now I’d have everything done, and this year I haven’t even started. But I have a few things I have to take care of, as well as the Christmas prep, so we’ll have to coordinate.”
He’d raised his eyebrows. “I don’t mind tagging along, if I won’t be in the way.” The corner of his mouth quirked, and he admitted, “I volunteered to bring the huskies up to Trail’s End to get away from the Christmas fuss, so it’s not as though I’m needed here, or anywhere else. Nathan can keep an eye on the husky we operated on this morning and call me if needs be.”
“I have an appointment at half past twelve, so if you can come down, we can leave from my place.”
Which was how she found herself walking out to his car dressed like one of Santa’s elves, with Baxter behind her wearing a pair of reindeer antlers.
When she’d got Baxter’s harness fastened in the back seat, she got into the truck to see Rohan’s eyebrows up at his hairline and his lips twitching, as though he were trying his best not to laugh.
“I’m due at the nursing home with Baxter, and then I thought we could pick up a Christmas tree before we go back to the house and then you can help me decorate.”
“Why are you going to the nursing home?” he asked as she fastened her seat belt.
As he put the SUV in gear, she told him, “After Bax and I retired from search and rescue, I decided to train him as an emotional support animal. I didn’t want him to get bored and fat just sitting around the house all the time.”
“Ah. That’s why you told me to take him out with me earlier, because you knew I was having...problems with what we were discussing.”
She slid him a glance, found him staring resolutely through the windscreen, his jaw tight.
Why couldn’t he even say the words anxiety attack? Did he think it made him weak to have them?
Not feeling it was appropriate to press him on it, she replied, “And why I called him into the barn when the husky was guarding Ben. I thought he might be able to calm her down.”
“You were right.” His voice sounded less stiff, but he lifted his hand to briefly touch his cheek. “And Bax and that female husky led me right to the other, injured dog. Do you think the husky might be trainable as a search and rescue dog?”
Elise frowned, considering it. “Huskies aren’t usually trained for that. Her dominant skill sets may not be appropriate, but that’s a question Tom, the volunteer SAR captain, would be better able to answer.”
“How did you get into search and rescue anyway? Being an ER doctor wasn’t exciting enough for you?”
“It was something I’d been interested in since I was a child. I never really wanted to study medicine, but my mother insisted. Once I got into it, I wanted to be where the action was, so emerge was the best fit.”
He made a sound in the back of his throat, and she interpreted it as one of amusement when he asked, “A thrill seeker, huh?”
She snorted, then had to smile at the inelegant sound. “I guess you could put it that way. All I wanted to do was search and rescue, but Mom kept at me until I agreed to her plan. She was of the opinion it was too dangerous, and not a job for a woman. Besides, by then she was sick, and I know she wanted to make sure I would be able to take care of myself after she was gone, so I went along with it.”
“Did I ever meet your mother or your father, back when we were together?”
He was trying to sound casual, as though just making conversation, but she got the impression he was trying to fill in the blank spot in his brain with facts, since the memories were gone. It made her wonder how he’d coped after the accident, when no one could, or would, offer him any lifeline to his immediate past.
“No,” she said quietly. “You never met any of my family. By then both my parents were gone, and my sister was in Calgary, where my mother’s family originally came from.”
“Is she still living there?”
“No. She and her husband moved to BC a few years ago. Make a turn here.”
He put on his indicator and made the turn into Banff. The ploughs had been busy, and downtown was already filled with people shopping and enjoying the crisp, late-morning air. Not wanting to talk about her family any more, Elise searched for another, less painful topic.
“I used to bring Bax to the home in the afternoons, but the residents requested that he come earlier. At first, I thought it was because they weren’t as tired as they were closer to the end of the day, then I realized it’s because they like to sneak him little bits of their lunches. I have to keep a sharp eye on them.”
Rohan chuckled, and for some reason the sound went straight to her heart.
Had she heard him laugh, even once, all day? She didn’t think so.
“There you were, training him so he wouldn’t get bored and fat, not realizing the danger of becoming obese would come with the new job.”
“Exactly,” she replied, letting amusement color her voice as she directed him into the nursing home parking lot.
When he’d parked, and she was unbuckling her seat belt and gathering up the bag of gifts she’d brought, Rohan exited the vehicle ahead of her and let Bax out the back door. As they met at the front of the vehicle, he held out the leash for her to take. Neither of them was wearing gloves, and as her fingers brushed his, a sweet tingle of awareness rushed through her.
Before she could make sense of it, Rohan’s hand closed over hers, and he said, “I have one more question, and I hope you don’t mind me asking.”
She raised her eyebrows, trying to pretend his touch wasn’t giving her goose bumps.
“Why did you give up search and rescue, really?”
Tugging her hand free, she set off for the lobby door, saying over her shoulder, “That’s a story for another day.”
Knowing full well that if she had her way, that day would never come.
As they walked into the home and were greeted with cries of welcome, she saw Rohan retreat to a spot against the wall, his stoic mien firmly in place. As Elise allowed Baxter to work the room, greeting all the residents, Rohan stayed to one side, watching. But as she well knew, no one visiting was allowed to remain aloof for very long.
“Who is that young man?” Mrs. Ferguson waved at him. “Come here. You remind me so much of someone, but I can’t think of who it is.”
“I think he looks like Elise’s son,” Mrs. Durrant said. “Do you remember, Ada, when he came with her to visit?”
“Oh, yes,” Mrs. Ferguson said, peering at Rohan over her glasses. “That’s right.”
“He looks like Jeevan, because Rohan is his father.”
Elise didn’t even hesitate. The words flowed from her lips so easily even she was a little taken aback by it.
And then she met Rohan’s gaze, and his expression was one of mingled wonder and surprise. Then it morphed into something else—something hot and wild—which caused desire to flash through her so hard and fast she had to turn away so he wouldn’t see it reflected in her eyes.
It reminded her of how, even as she’d kept an emotional distance from him all those years ago, he’d been able to turn her inside out with lust with just a look or a single touch. He was the only man who’d made her mindless with need. Who’d made her forget just why love wouldn’t be something she counted on to be happy.
No. No. No.
They weren’t going there. This chance meeting had nothing to do with what they’d once shared, beyond the fact that it had produced Jeevan.
The only thing that mattered was uniting father and son, and she refused to allow echoes of the past to muddy the waters.
Especially not the kind of echoes that made her want to tumble into Rohan’s arms the way she used to, and allow him to set her ablaze.
CHAPTER SEVEN
BY THE TIME they left the nursing home, Rohan couldn’t believe how mu
ch fun he’d had.
Watching Bax work had been a treat as he allowed himself to be petted, hugged and kissed by resident after resident. He’d delivered little presents to each person, carried in a basket he proudly held in his mouth, and his tail had hardly stopped fanning the air.
At the end, Rohan was happy to escape the old ladies’ interrogations, and had tagged along with Elise and Bax while they went to visit a resident who’d been bedridden for a few weeks.
“He fell and broke his hip,” Elise explained. “And, as it is for many patients with dementia, the hospital stay caused a marked deterioration in his mental acuity. Mr. Robson is almost completely nonverbal now, except when he sees Bax.”
It had sounded so much like what he’d found the last time he visited his father that Rohan was tempted to wait for them outside the room. But the nurse had held the door open for him, and by then it was too late to avoid going through without it being obvious.
Despite his misgivings and the lingering sense of being thrust into a situation he felt unequal to handle, he couldn’t help being touched as he watched Bax interact with Mr. Robson. On opening his eyes and seeing the dog next to his bed, the elderly man’s face had lit up, his trembling hand reaching out. Bax had shifted, putting his head in the proper position to be petted, and then, on Elise’s command, he’d placed his paws on the rail at the side of the bed so he was face-to-face with the patient.
“Oh, you beauty,” the old man had breathed, his voice little better than a sigh. “You gorgeous boy. You’ve come to see old George again. I love you. I love you.”
That moment, Rohan knew, would stay with him for a very long time. He’d always known and accepted that animals had healing qualities, but seeing it displayed so clearly moved him deeply.
But the experience that lingered even stronger in his mind was when Elise had, so calmly and matter-of-factly, named him as her child’s father.
Hearing her do so had caused his heart to stutter, warmth to fill his chest. The emotions released had swamped him, threatening to drown him in joy so intense it was frightening.
And in that instant, she was even more beautiful to him than she’d been before.
He’d even imagined that something special and wonderful had passed between them as their eyes met, but now he dismissed the thought. She was intelligent, kind and beautiful. Everything any man could want or need, but he had nothing to offer in return.
Not when his emotions were so stunted, and almost impossible to process.
The focus needed to stay squarely on Jeevan. Although his son was no longer a child, as parents it was their obligation to ensure that Rohan’s meeting with him went smoothly.
There was no room for error, nor for complications, like his growing attraction to his son’s mother.
After his accident he’d been told over and over how different he was, how he was no longer the young man people knew and loved. The changes had been pointed out in detail. How solemn he’d become, how he lacked the laughter and joking ways of his youth. He’d been unable to give affection easily, locked in a cycle of simply trying to survive the effects of his head injury, and it had shown in how he treated those around him.
Elise would remember that younger man, and perhaps even now wondered at the transformation. He had no urge to hear those kinds of comments again, especially not from a woman he now knew he would be forever tied to.
“Okay,” Elise said briskly once they were back in the SUV, breaking him out of his not-so-happy thoughts. “Let’s go get a tree, and then head back to my place. I was thinking of going by the hospital to see Ben, if they’re allowing him visitors, but I refuse to go there dressed like an elf.”
Her stout declaration amused him. “But you’ll go tree shopping like that?”
“Downtown Banff is Christmas central. No one will even bat an eye. But I’d hear about it for years if the staff at the hospital see me like this.”
He wouldn’t blame anyone for mentioning the outfit. He’d been trying to ignore just how snugly it fit her athletic form, and how the tail of her tunic swung enticingly when she walked. Her body was toned, but with womanly curves he longed to put his hands on. Soft, round breasts beneath her clingy costume showcased a still-narrow waist, which then flared into rounded hips.
The maturity of her figure was a turn-on he couldn’t ignore, especially when she walked ahead of him, bottom swinging with each long, confident stride.
Not even the funny shoes and hat made her look anything less than completely desirable.
The tree market was busy, but Rohan appreciated the swiftness with which Elise made a decision, and it wasn’t long before they were back on the road, heading to her house.
“We’ll get the tree set up, and then cut some branches before getting the decorations out of storage.” Rohan got the impression she was mentally running down an already prepared list. “This evening, if you’re up for it, I’ll need to do some food and gift shopping. We could go by the hospital then, too.”
“Sounds like a plan,” he agreed, settling back, trying to ease the tension out of his shoulders.
When they stopped at an intersection, Elise pulled off the elf hat, and once more he saw a few wisps of hair escape her bun. Without thought, he gently swept them back, tucking them behind her ear. She didn’t say anything but slanted him a quick glance, and he silently cursed the impulse that had made him touch her so intimately.
He’d have to watch himself going forward, to make sure he didn’t do anything else like that.
Bax whined from the back seat, and Elise turned to say, “Yep, almost home, boy.”
Her house was a neat bungalow, which, with all the snow they’d had the previous night, seemed to be floating on a sea of white. One side had been cleared, the driveway and walk shoveled, making paths through drifts three feet high in spots. She directed him to park near the garage door.
While Baxter found a spot that needed watering, they wrestled the tree out of the SUV, and then they all went inside.
In the kitchen, they stopped to take off their shoes while Baxter made a beeline for his water bowl. Obviously, cheering up the elderly was thirsty work.
“Help yourself to a drink, if you like, and go on through to the living room.” She pointed him to an archway on the other side of the kitchen as she walked toward a hallway. “I’m just going to change out of this costume.”
He took a moment to look around. It was no surprise to him that everything was tidy, spic-and-span. Elise struck him as a person who probably wouldn’t abide too much clutter.
“Bax! Bax! Mom wants you!”
The squawk of a parrot drew him into the living room, and he saw the African gray in its cage first. Then, as he started to cross the room to take a closer look, he realized the room was filled with photographs. They were on the walls, on the shelves surrounding the television, the mantelpiece—everywhere—and that became more interesting and important to Rohan just then.
On suddenly shaky legs, he moved closer to look at them. Most were of Jeevan in different settings, with a few of Elise thrown in. A chronicle of Jeevan’s life, from him as a baby, round, damp and sandy, a lake or ocean in the background, to some of him at university graduation. One of Elise, proudly wearing her search and rescue uniform, Baxter at her side. And then, on the wall, Rohan came face-to-face with himself.
It looked like an autumn day, with a wash of orange, red and yellow leaves forming a backdrop to his face. He was laughing, head thrown back, sunlight glinting in his smiling eyes.
The only thing he recognized in the picture was the scarf around his throat. It was covered in smiley faces, and he’d worn it all through college, been teased about it numerous times.
Intellectually, he knew it was his face, and was touched that Elise had kept his image in front of his son’s eyes all those years, but the person in the picture was, deep inside, a str
anger to him.
“Who were you?”
He said it aloud to the photo, struggling not to let the doubts and fears overtake him and cause him to botch this important moment in his life, as he knew they had done at other times.
Unable to bear looking at it anymore, he turned away and drew in a deep breath. Blowing it out, he straightened his spine.
Seeing the pictures brought the wonder of it back.
He was a father. Had a son.
A son named after his beloved Baba, the grandfather who’d taught him how to be a man and a decent human being.
Your father thinks prestige is the most important thing in life, Rohan, but he’s wrong. And money isn’t important, either. What is important is that you do the right thing, always, and bring joy to others. Only then can you be truly happy.
Remembering Baba’s words brought calm, and a new resolve to make this work.
He’d doubted his ability to love, to care deeply for another, but already he knew he’d do anything for his son and fight to the death anyone else who tried to come between them again.
* * *
Elise stood in the doorway, watching Rohan examine the pictures on the wall, knowing he hadn’t noticed her and glad for it.
Now she could clearly see the emotions, as though the only time he could let them free was when he was alone. She’d seen sorrow, joy, confusion, tenderness, and her heart ached for him, even as her body insisted on reminding her how sexy he was.
Being around Rohan—even this new, different Rohan—was doing crazy things to her equilibrium.
When he’d brushed the hair back from her cheek, his fingers warm against her skin, she was transported back in time. The intervening years fell away, as though they’d never existed, leaving her feeling like that young, carefree girl who’d desired him beyond reason.
“Why doesn’t your hair ever stay where you put it?”
He’d slicked her hair off her cheek, tucking the strands securely behind her ear.