by Ann Mcintosh
But the power of that desire was immense, and Elise whimpered, caught on the almost painful line between arousal and culmination.
And when he tipped her over into ecstasy, she cried out and hung on to him as if she would never let him go.
This time, when they were satiated, she didn’t roll away but curled up beside him, her head on his arm. He was facing her, his hand on her hip, their legs intimately intertwined.
“I wish I’d seen you pregnant with Jeevan,” he said, a touch of melancholy in his tone. “Or found you sooner, so we could have had more children.”
Rubbing her hand over his chest, she said, “No regrets. We’re looking ahead now, not back.”
“I know, but— What the—”
He sat up so suddenly Elise was left lying in a confused heap, having banged her head on the floor. When she sat up, it was to see Rohan glaring at Baxter, who was standing next to them, a querulous expression on his shaggy face. Phoebe stood in the doorway, keeping her distance, yet very much interested in what was going on.
“He...he goosed me,” Rohan accused. “And his nose is damned cold.”
Elise tried to tell him that was Bax’s way of reminding them it was way past his walkies time, but she started giggling instead, and couldn’t stop. Rohan’s outrage, when he turned his accusatory look from the dog to her, just made it worse.
Finally, as though unable to help himself, Rohan joined in, his laughter ringing through the house, sweet to her ears.
Baxter stalked off, obviously unimpressed.
Getting to her feet, still giggling, she started putting back on her clothes.
“Where are you going?” Rohan grumbled.
“The dogs need to go out,” she replied.
Rohan yawned and stretched, then grabbed his jeans before rising also.
“I’ll go with you,” he said.
Once they had on their outerwear, Elise turned on the light above the back door and let the dogs out. As she followed with Rohan, he reached out to take her gloved hand in his, and something about that simple gesture melted away the last of her fears.
Except for what would happen when Jeevan got home.
As though sensing the change in her mood, Rohan squeezed her finger.
“Any regrets?”
“None,” she answered honestly. “Just a little worried about how what’s happening between us will affect Jeevan.”
“I am, too,” he admitted, as they watched Phoebe and Bax play a game of Keep Away in the snow. “We’ll take it slowly, as we agreed, although I have to tell you, it won’t be easy.”
“Why not?”
He turned to look at her, and even in the low light from the single bulb, she could see the gleam of rekindled desire in his eyes.
“Because just looking at you makes me want you,” he said, low and sweet. “And I don’t know how to stop the entire world knowing that, whenever we’re together.”
What had happened to the stern, stoic man? The one who’d admitted to locking his feelings away and retreating from entanglements?
When she asked him as much, he snorted, the sound one of laughter and bemusement combined.
“I have no idea. Over the past two days, he’s slowly faded away. Not that I think I’ll revert to the person I used to be before the accident. Just that somehow the burden of the past, the weight of it, seems to have lifted.”
“I’m glad,” Elise said, “if it makes you feel better. But there’s nothing wrong with taking a step back—mentally, or emotionally—if you’re uncomfortable in a situation or conversation. That ability has helped you through the years, and it’s a good one to have.”
He turned his face up to the night sky, inhaling deeply. Then he dropped her hand and put his arm around her waist, pulling her in tight against his side.
When he spoke, his voice was little more than a whisper.
“For years I’ve believed the man I am now is far inferior to the one I was. People told me so, over and over, and I absorbed that, like a slow-acting poison.”
He turned, guiding her around, so they were face-to-face. His expression of wonder, of joy, made tears gather in her eyes.
“You’ve given me the antidote I needed, and I’ll always be infinitely grateful for that.”
He pulled her in closer and kissed her, their lips going from chilled to hot between one breath and the next.
There was no need for more words between them, so she called the dogs in, and led Rohan straight to her bed. Although nothing had been completely settled, she knew, if she had her way, there would be very few nights that they slept apart going forward.
Yet as she tried to drift off in Rohan’s arms, the worry that Jeevan might find all this unfathomable held sleep in abeyance.
Jeevan was a scientist through and through. The type of man who needed evidence to support any theory. Elise, who was the same way, couldn’t help thinking that he’d find the events of the last days crazy.
If anyone had come to her with a story like the one she would have to tell their son, she’d caution them to be careful, to make sure they weren’t letting old emotions cloud their judgment.
It was what she’d told herself, over and over, since recognizing Rohan, but now it couldn’t sway her from the course she was on.
“You okay?” He asked it gently, stroking her arm. The soft caress unraveled the tension that had built inside, and as she kissed the soft skin on the inside of his elbow, the last of it melted away.
She loved him, and everything would come right in the end.
“Perfect,” she replied.
He tugged her closer, so her back was snug against his chest, and, cocooned in his warmth, she fell asleep.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
THE NEXT MORNING, awaking with Elise still wrapped securely in his arms had Rohan smiling before he’d even gotten out of bed.
When she rolled over and wrapped her leg over his, while pulling his head down for a kiss, his happiness turned to passion and eventually to ecstasy.
They took the dogs out together, holding thermal coffee mugs in their mittened hands. Clouds were massed on the horizon, although the weather service said there would be no more snow until late that night.
He knew Elise was worried when he caught her staring westward, where the weather system would come from.
“He’ll make it,” he said, not needing to elaborate.
That drew a smile. “I’m sure he will.”
But a little shadow of concern lingered in her eyes.
To cheer her up, he put down his cup and started throwing snowballs for Bax, while Phoebe, who’d probably never played catch in her life, tried to get in on the action. The problem was, she had no idea what exactly the action was, and her comical antics, on top of Bax’s continued confusion over the disappearing balls, had them howling with laughter.
When they went back inside, Elise started breakfast while Rohan dried off the dogs and then gave them their food and fresh water.
After his chore, he washed his hands at the sink, but his attention was completely focused on Elise. He couldn’t help it. If they were in the same room, she was all he could see.
Even now he couldn’t believe what had happened. In the space of two days, he had gone from closed-off loner to a father, head-over-heels in love with his child’s mother. Or maybe besotted lover was a better description.
He felt lighter, freer and happier than he could ever remember being. It was like he’d been living in a twilight world for years, and then, suddenly there was light all around him.
Christmas lights, at this point. And carols playing on the stereo.
And he loved it all.
But he was still stressed about the meeting between him and Jeevan, just as he knew Elise was, too.
Things might be wonderful between him and Elise, but Jeevan w
as still, to Rohan, an unknown quantity. Any number of things could go wrong. Jeevan could hate him, which would potentially put stress on the relationships between mother and son, and definitely between his parents.
Jeevan might be an adult, almost the same age Elise was when she gave birth, but he also was still Elise’s main concern. And Rohan wouldn’t want it any other way.
How would he react, should his son despise him? Would he be willing and able to give up the happiness he’d only just found with Elise, so as to not interfere with the bond between mother and son? Would she expect that of him?
“Hey,” she said, pulling him out of his rambling, whirling thoughts. “It’ll be okay.”
“Yes,” he replied and even nodded, although he wasn’t at all sure.
“I have a hair appointment at two,” she said, flipping pancakes on the griddle. “You can stay here if you want, or come into town with me.”
“I’ll go,” he said, trying not to sound too eager. He’d planned to go to Banff later, to find her a Christmas gift, and this way she wouldn’t be suspicious. “While you’re getting your hair done, I can walk around and see the rest of the place.”
After breakfast he helped her in the kitchen and then took down the boxes of ornaments from the attic. It was nothing exciting, but the peace he felt as the two of them worked together—the rightness of it—made him happier than he could have ever imagined.
Who would have thought something as normal as peeling and cutting up potatoes could feel like a benediction, when done in the right company?
The rest of the day passed in a blur, although when he thought about it, besides the trip into Banff they’d done nothing extraordinary. Yet before he knew it, it was time to shower and dress for the SAR fundraiser.
When he was ready, he sat in the living room waiting for Elise, and picked up the photo album once more. While looking at the images still brought pangs of regret for the time they’d lost, now they also reassured him that what was happening between them wasn’t completely crazy.
The way they’d looked at each other clearly showed the love they’d felt, and he knew, although the memories were gone from his head, they’d somehow remained in his heart.
When he heard the tap of her heels coming down the corridor, he closed the album and stood up, just as she came into the room.
Stunned, he stared, until she lifted a hand, self-consciously, to her throat.
“What?”
“You look gorgeous,” he said, wondering if she’d agree to forgo the dinner so he could take his time exploring how to get her out of that red dress. “Everyone is going to hate me, for having the most beautiful woman in the room on my arm.”
A tinge of rosy color stained her cheeks, and she smiled.
“Thank you. You’re looking mighty fine yourself.”
“Right now I want to kiss that lipstick right off those luscious lips, but I figure you’ll beat me up if I did.”
Her eyes got slumberous, and aforementioned lips came together in a sexy pout.
“I can always put more on,” she said.
And that made them late leaving the house, because that was an invitation Rohan had no intention of passing up.
The hotel where the dinner was being held was decorated like a Christmas wonderland, and the ballroom was already full of people by the time they got there.
A tall, barrel-chested man came to meet them as they walked in, a relieved smile on his face.
“Elise. I thought you weren’t coming.”
“I told you I would be here, Tom,” she said, tilting her cheek up for a kiss. “Let me introduce you. This is Dr. Rohan Khan. Rohan, Tom Harding, the head of the SAR team.”
As they shook hands, Tom Harding gave Rohan a long, searching look.
“I heard that you went into that barn with Elise, to help bring Ben Sullivan out.”
“Yes.”
“Janice was so grateful to you both she called me from the hospital to tell me.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t filed a report yet, Tom,” Elise interjected. “I haven’t gotten around to it yet.”
He waved his hand, as though brushing the words aside. “It’s Christmas, so it can wait a few days, but I was wondering if Dr. Khan might be interested in volunteering for the team. We can always use another pair of hands.”
Rohan shook his head. “I don’t think it’s in the cards for me, although I’m flattered you asked. Besides, I live in Calgary, so I wouldn’t be of much help to you here.”
“Shame,” Tom said, sweeping his hand toward the front of the ballroom. “I was hoping you’d join and bring Elise back with you. She’s one of the best we ever had.”
“Actually, Tom, I wanted to talk to you about that.”
Tom Harding’s face lit up.
“You’re ready to return? Put an end to this ridiculous retirement?”
“I’m thinking about it,” she admitted. “But if you want me to handle a dog, I’ll need a new one. I won’t endanger Bax’s health by putting him back in the field.”
Tom rubbed his hands together, as though someone had just offered him a million dollars, and he was contemplating how to spend it.
“We’ll talk about it, after we get all this holiday malarkey out of the way, but this is the best news I’ve had in weeks.”
Elise laughed. “You’ve been just fine without me.”
“But we’re better with you.” He glanced around as someone called his name, and then continued, “Go mix and mingle, and put in some bids. There’s something special coming up in a few minutes, so listen out.”
He hurried away, and Rohan realized he was beaming at Elise and couldn’t seem to stop, even when she lifted her eyebrows, and asked, “Why are you grinning like that?”
Moving close to her side, he put his hand on her waist and bent to whisper in her ear.
“I’m just so damn proud of you right now.”
Lifting her hand, she touched his scarred cheek, the gentle brush of her fingers making his heart sing.
“I wouldn’t have found the courage without you.”
* * *
Elise reveled in the moment with Rohan, so glad he was pleased with her decision to go back to the SAR team. It might have sounded spur-of-the-moment to him, but she’d found herself thinking about what he’d said about courage, and realized it was the right time to find hers.
She’d given up her dream out of fear but knew in her heart that she’d regret walking away from it forever.
After all, she might be on the other side of fifty, but there was a lot of good she could still do. And if the day came when she physically couldn’t do the job anymore, that would be the time to retire. Not when she was still fit—and still wanted to be involved.
When he kissed her cheek, his lips lingering warm and tender against her skin, she also knew being with him was, as he’d intimated, her destiny.
That her love had never truly died but stayed dormant in her heart, until he’d returned to awaken it again.
“I have to tell you something,” she whispered, putting her palm on his cheek to keep him close.
“Go ahead,” he said, equally softly, pulling back just far enough to see her eyes.
“I love you. I always have, and always will.”
His face went blank for a moment, and her heart dipped, and then, before she could backtrack, he smiled, his entire face lighting up with love equal to her own.
“I love you, too,” he said. “But couldn’t you have waited just a little longer to tell me, so I wouldn’t be tempted to embarrass you in front of all your colleagues?”
“No,” she replied, stroking his cheek. “I’ve waited long enough.”
He took a deep breath, his fingers tightening on her waist.
“Later, we’ll discuss this in depth,” he said, dark eyes gleaming, pr
omising sweet retribution. “And I think I might need a demonstration, just to be sure you mean it.”
Elise huffed a laugh, which was curtailed by the rush of desire melting her insides.
“Agreed, on both our parts,” she said before stepping back. This really wasn’t the place to grab him and kiss him, no matter how badly she wanted to. “Let’s get something to drink, shall we? It’s suddenly really warm in here.”
He laughed and agreed, settling his hand at the base of her spine to guide her toward the bar.
As they strolled around the edge of the ballroom drinks in hand, looking at the auction items and bidding on a few, she was aware of the curious stares they were getting, but she didn’t care. Soon enough it would be common knowledge that Jeevan’s father was back in the picture, and back in her life.
Intimately.
Forever.
No one they spoke to was bold enough to ask any questions outright, which amused her no end, since she knew there were a few people there who probably were speculating.
Anyone who knew Jeevan, and most of the folks there did, would see the resemblance.
As they were talking to one of her former SAR colleagues, Kaylyn, and her husband, the PA system squawked, and they all looked up to see Tom at the podium.
He tapped the mike, then said, “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you all for coming out tonight to support our annual Christmas fundraiser. In a little while we’ll get dinner going, but tonight we’re starting with a little surprise.”
The crowd murmured, and Elise whispered to Kaylyn, “What’s going on?”
When the other woman shrugged, Elise looked back at Tom.
“Last year, as you all know, we lost a valuable member of our team to retirement. Dr. Elise van Hagan was, and is, one of the finest and most valuable rescuers I’ve worked with in my career.”
Shocked, Elise could hardly hear what Tom was saying, and when Rohan put his arm around her, she gladly leaned into his side, needing his support.
“When the committee met to plan this function, talk turned to how much we respected and admired Dr. van Hagan for her service. After surprisingly little debate, it was decided that tonight, we would honor her with a small token of our appreciation. Elise, would you come up here, please?”