by Garth Stein
She had come knocking on his door when he least expected it. She was a stranger, and yet they had something in common because they were both alone. Eddie wasn’t used to being alone. Especially not in the summer. The summer was full of living with men, sleeping, eating, and shitting with men. Living as a unit with five others. When one got sick, the others got sick. When one got rich, they all got rich. Winters could get lonely, but the bars made it easier. At least a boat could be approximated in a small, dark bar. But the bars weren’t the same in the summer. The guys weren’t there. It was empty and hollow. Eddie had been torn out of his environment by his injury, taken from his home and left by himself. Then she came.
She smiled at him like he hadn’t been smiled at since high school. He couldn’t seem to stop grinning around her, as if he had discovered something new. Something he wanted to show his friends. And when he did show his friends, they all went crazy. They looked at her with animal eyes and talked about the feast that would be had by one of theirs. But he shut them up. She wasn’t like that. She was a friend, he said. And he meant it. She was a new friend of his. He’d never had a girl who was a friend. Girls and boys were always two different animals to him, meant to be apart except for mating. Here was a girl with whom he wanted to be a unit. He wanted to join with her, not sexually, although that might be nice, but as a partner, on some other level that he wasn’t sure of but knew existed somewhere. That’s what it was all about. About being somewhere else with her. It didn’t matter that they were in his shitty house on the hellhole island of Wrangell, a claustrophobic, wooded rock in the middle of nowhere. When he was with Jenna, he felt like they created their own breeze that took away all the badness. It was somewhere else even though it was the same place. Place didn’t matter. Time made no sense. It was the dance they did together that mattered. The words that came out and the thoughts that flowed, and the movements, the subtle movements, how she played with her earring or bent her toes down on the floor, almost folding them underneath her foot. Her thick cotton socks on her tiny feet or when she leaned forward and he could see a sliver of white flesh between her jeans and her T-shirt. There was nothing else. No time. What was it, a day? Two? Three? He didn’t remember. He could only remember Jenna. Facts meant nothing. All that was left was a rush of energy inside him. A rush that was fading as she got farther and farther away. She took a piece of him with her, whether or not she knew it, and he had let her. He shouldn’t have let her go.
But why did he have to let her go? Why did he have to let her escape from him? She had her own thing going on: finding some shaman because of some Indian legend, which was pretty stupid. But Eddie had seen stupider things. She seemed determined to do it and who was he to stop her? He didn’t even really care how stupid it was. If she had asked him to go with her, he would have. That’s the bottom line. But she didn’t ask. Maybe she didn’t want him around. Maybe he was being too much of a puppy dog. Maybe she didn’t really like him after all. Still, it only made sense. He could help her. She didn’t know her way around. Eddie could easily be her guide. Take her where she needed to go on his boat. Make sure she was okay. You would think she would want him with her.
He crushed out his cigarette and it hit him that she didn’t ask him because she didn’t think he would want to go. He had been pretty vocal against the whole idea of finding a shaman, and she probably figured he wasn’t interested. Which wasn’t true at all. He would follow her wherever she wanted if it meant they would be together. He would go find a shaman. What did he care? It’s not as if he had anything better to do. His desire to be with her easily outweighed his disbelief in what she was doing. He had to tell her that. Make it clear that he was willing to help. Then, if she still didn’t want him to go with her, at least he would know why. He wouldn’t have blown the whole deal because of what she thought he thought. He had to find her.
Eddie quickly slipped on his shirt and replaced his sling. He hurried out to the truck and climbed in. He hoped she hadn’t gotten away. He should have asked her where she was going. But how far could she have gotten on foot? Not to the airport. Maybe to the marina, but then she’d have to find someone with a boat who was willing to take her. He had time. He pulled out onto Front Street and headed toward town.
It was too easy. He came around the bend and saw her standing in front of the Stikine Inn talking to someone. She hadn’t gotten far. She was standing there, talking to a guy, that guy who came by in the morning. Her leather jacket tied around her waist. Leaning her weight on one foot and holding one arm behind her back with the other. Relaxed and unconcerned. Oscar at her side. The guy was gesturing, going on at length about something. Pointing off in the distance, over the water. His big mouth flapping in the sun.
Eddie pulled his truck into the parking lot, and Oscar hopped up and ran over to him. Jenna looked over. She saw Eddie and smiled. That smile. It made his heart soar. He crouched down and waited until Oscar arrived, happy, licking, joyous animal with tail flying. He accepted Oscar’s welcome until Oscar decided it was better to return to Jenna’s side. Then Eddie followed Oscar over.
“Hiya, Eddie,” Joey called out. Eddie ignored him. He focused on Jenna and she looked up at him with a smile. That smile.
“I want to help,” Eddie said. “I want to help you get to where you’re going.”
JENNA WAS RELIEVED TO SEE EDDIE, to be sure. She was desperate to get away from this drip, Joey. She felt very annoyed at having been well on her way to her next destination, only to be stopped by this kid who went on and on about nothing. She really didn’t give a crap about Oklahoma State and the wrestling team. He was one of those people whom you can’t shake no matter how many times you groan and look at your watch. But Eddie was here now, ready to save her.
“I want to help you get to where you’re going,” Eddie said.
“You’re going somewhere?” Joey asked.
Jenna and Eddie exchanged a glance.
“Yes, I’m going somewhere,” Jenna replied, cautiously.
“Where?”
Jenna was surprised at the directness of the question. It seemed to be out of proportion with Joey’s need to know. She shifted uncomfortably, not knowing how to answer.
Joey seemed to realize that he had overstepped, and he smiled broadly to recover. But there was a hesitation, a fleeting look of anger that crossed his face before he could regain his composure. Then he shrugged, as if to suggest that no answer was needed, and crouched down. He called for Oscar, waving him over by dangling his fingers and whistling. Oscar obliged and went to him. Joey grabbed the fur of Oscar’s neck on either side and shook him playfully.
Eddie leaned into Jenna and spoke softly so Joey couldn’t hear.
“I know you didn’t ask me to come, and you might not want me to—”
“I didn’t think you’d want to,” Jenna interrupted.
“I know. But I do.”
“But you don’t believe it’s real.”
“What difference does that make? I believe in you. You need help, don’t you?”
Yes, she needed help. But it was too much to ask. It was her battle, not his.
Jenna looked over at Joey and Oscar. Joey’s playful tugging at Oscar had gotten more aggressive. He was now slapping Oscar’s snout, first one side, then the other, quickly, as if in some way this would prove his superiority over the dog. Oscar, his mouth open and teeth bared, snapped his head toward the hand, only to leave himself vulnerable to the hand coming from the other side, which invariably caught him unaware. Jenna felt like telling Joey to knock it off, but she secretly hoped that Oscar would get frustrated and bite his face.
“You don’t want to come with me,” she said. “You don’t even know where I’m going.”
“Do you know where you’re going? I probably know how to get there better than you do, and I don’t even know where it is.”
“Eddie, look, I really appreciate it, but—”
Then there was the cry of pain. They both turned and saw Joey c
url into a ball and roll over onto his side. Oscar stood over him, growling. Joey was clutching his hand and yelling.
“Fuck! That fucking dog bit me!”
Jenna couldn’t help laughing.
“Maybe he doesn’t like getting hit in the face like that.”
“Fucking dog! It fucking bit me!”
Jenna could hardly control her glee, but she kept it in check in case the wound was serious.
“Let me see. Is it bleeding?”
Joey stopped his screaming and looked at her, incredulous.
“Is it bleeding? Look at it!”
He thrust his arm toward her and she saw that it was bleeding from a couple of punctures. Not a huge amount of blood, but enough to make an impression. Bite marks ran from the fleshy part between the thumb and forefinger up to the wrist and then down around through the palm. If Oscar had bitten down harder, it looked like he would have taken Joey’s thumb right off.
“All right, I guess we should clean it up so it doesn’t get infected,” Jenna said. “Come on. They probably have a first aid kit in the hotel.”
She helped Joey to his feet and they crossed the parking lot, leaving Eddie and Oscar outside.
STRANGE. Joey had a room at the Stikine Inn. Jenna could have sworn he told her he was sleeping in the park. Now he’s staying at the hotel. Odd.
Earl nodded at Jenna smugly as he looked at Joey’s hand. He retrieved a first aid kit from the back room, and Jenna took Joey upstairs to bandage him up. Neither of them said a word as Joey sat on the closed toilet while Jenna held his hand over the sink and washed it with warm water. Joey winced several times as Jenna dried his hand with a towel. She took a brown bottle out of the first aid kit.
“This part may hurt.”
“The whole thing hurts,” he said.
She poured some hydrogen peroxide onto the towel and dabbed it on the wound. Joey yelped.
“Damn! What is that, acid?”
“I told you it was going to hurt.”
“Shit. I’m not going to have to go to the hospital, am I?”
Jenna started wrapping his hand in gauze.
“I don’t think so, unless it gets infected.”
“What if that dog has rabies?”
“I guess you should get a shot,” she said, taping the gauze tightly around Joey’s hand. She stood up. “All done.”
Joey looked at his bandage.
“So much for playing my guitar for a while.”
“Sorry, but now you know not to hit dogs in the face like that.”
Jenna packed up the first aid kit and left the bathroom. Joey followed her into the bedroom.
“So, that’s it? I’ll never see you again?” he asked.
“Yep, that’s it. I hope everything works out for you.”
Jenna put her hand on the doorknob and was about to open the door when a phone rang. More strangeness. There were no phones in the room a few days ago.
“Hold on, don’t go yet, I have a question for you,” Joey said, scrambling around to the other side of the bed. He picked up a cellular phone from the nightstand and flipped it open. A cellular phone? He stood by the far window and spoke softly into the mouthpiece while Jenna waited patiently by the door. She noticed, sitting on the dresser next to the door, a fancy leather notebook that seemed a little out of place to her. If this kid is so poor, why would he have that? Graduation present? It was nice, the kind Robert had. Very plain, but very sophisticated. It had initials engraved on it. JR. Those were Jenna’s initials. She opened the cover. Stuffed inside were lots of scraps of paper. Telephone numbers. Folded fax paper. Business cards.
“What are you doing?”
Joey was right behind her. He closed the notebook on Jenna’s hand.
“I was . . . My husband has one just like it.”
“Your husband?”
He lifted the notebook toward him with Jenna’s hand still inside. When she pulled her hand back, all the loose papers spilled out onto the floor, scattering randomly. Joey grabbed for some of the falling papers, but caught nothing but air.
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
Jenna and Joey crouched down to pick up the papers simultaneously, bumping their heads.
“I got it, I got it. Just leave it. It’s not a big deal.”
Jenna hesitated.
“Really, I’ve got it. I’ll take care of it.”
Jenna stood up and watched Joey quickly gather all the papers and shove them inside the notebook. He then stuffed the notebook into the dresser drawer.
“Sorry,” Jenna offered again.
Joey smiled. “No problem, really. It happens all the time.”
“I should go.”
“No, wait. I want to talk for a second. Want a drink? They don’t have a mini-bar in this place, so I made my own.”
Joey moved toward the television, on top of which were about a dozen little liquor bottles, like the kind they sell on airplanes.
“I got a couple of everything so I could have a good selection. What do you want?”
“It’s a little early for me.”
“Yeah, me too, but it’ll ease the pain, you know?” Joey said as he browsed through his collection of bottles.
That’s when Jenna noticed a piece of paper on the floor under the dresser. She picked it up and unfolded it. It had a photograph stapled to the top right corner. At the top of the paper was written, in bold print, SUBJECT PROFILE, and it was filled with line after line of details about someone. Name: Rosen, Jenna. Age: 35. Height: 5'7". Hair: Brown. Eyes: Brown. Markings: Scar, right shoulder, right ring finger. Background . . . Jenna looked more closely at the photograph. It was a picture of her with Bobby and Robert, taken at Disneyland about three years ago. Robert’s such a moron, she thought. He couldn’t find a more recent photo. She folded up the paper quickly, before Joey saw that she had it.
“Stoli. Nothing but the best. This is a classy joint.”
Joey opened his little bottle of vodka and took a swig before he noticed that the tone in the room had changed. Jenna leaned her back against the door.
“So, in a sense, I’m buying you that drink,” she said flatly, fixing her eyes on Joey.
Joey stopped. He looked at Jenna and cocked his head to one side.
“I’m sorry?”
“I mean, all your expenses are being paid, right? And since my husband is paying you, and since half of everything my husband owns is mine, I’m paying for half of that drink. Tell me I’m not right.”
Joey calculated. Jenna could hear the little gears clicking away in his head as he evaluated and judged. He still hadn’t noticed the paper in Jenna’s hand. If he had, he would have given up. But since he thought he had a chance, he decided to bluff his hand.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, lady. I spent my last dime on this room because I was sick and tired of sleeping in the rain and smelling like a campfire.” He sat on the edge of the bed and took a swig of vodka. “So you must have me mixed up with someone else.”
“Yeah, you’re right, I must have you mixed up with someone else. Tell me, do I look five seven to you?”
“What?”
“Do I look five seven to you?”
“I don’t know. I guess.”
“Men are stupid. Did you know that? In my husband’s dreams I’m five seven.”
“I don’t get it.” Joey was starting to squirm.
“How tall do you think my husband is? Is he six feet?”
“Lady, I’ve never seen your husband. Maybe you should go.”
Jenna unfolded the paper and held it to Joey, pointing to the photograph.
“Sure you have. That’s him there. He’s about five inches taller than me, right?” No answer, just Joey staring silently at the paper. “Right?”
“Where’d you get that?”
“I found it on the floor, you idiot. Now answer my question. Would you say he’s about five inches taller than me?”
Joey jumped up and grabbed the paper from Jenn
a, folding it up and stuffing it in his pocket.
“I’m not playing your game.”
“Well, he is five inches taller than me. And he’s five ten. So how tall would that make me?”
Joey wheeled on Jenna and grabbed her arm tightly, pushing her toward the door.
“Look, lady,” Joey said, his accent now gone, “don’t think you won by blowing my cover, because I’m still going to follow you around and I’m still going to take pictures of you with your little Dick down there.”
“My Dick?”
“Yeah, your Dick. That’s what we call someone the Subject is fucking. If it’s a girl, we call her a Jane. Cute, huh? My job is to verify who, where, when, why, and how often you fuck your Dick. It doesn’t matter to me if you know who I am or not. As a matter of fact, I prefer that you know, because then I can drop this fucking Midwestern accent. I hate the Midwest.”
Jenna shook herself free from Joey’s grip.
“We’re not sleeping together.”
Joey laughed. “Lady, I’ve got pictures of you two in bed together.”
“When?”
“This morning. It may not have been in the act, but it’s awfully fucking incriminating, wouldn’t you say?”
Shit. Robert had sent a spy. She couldn’t let any of them interfere with her plans. She would have to leave right away, without this guy knowing. But how could she do that?
Joey had Jenna backed up against the door. He was reaching for the knob, trying to get rid of her, but she wasn’t going to leave yet. She slipped past Joey and into the room.
“I think I’ll have that drink now.”
She grabbed a bottle from the television. She was disappointed to feel that it was plastic.
Joey laughed. “Lady, I don’t know what you’re planning, but I’m like the mailman. Nothing will stop me from doing my job. Not money, not threats, not sex. Well, maybe sex . . .”
“What if I run?”
“You mean like the last time?”
He grinned and raised his eyebrows. Jenna almost gagged. This was a fix. She knew that if Robert believed that she was sleeping with someone, he would be here in a second. It wasn’t true, of course, but she admitted that it looked bad. She had to stop Joey from telling. There had to be a way. She had to appeal to his humanitarian side. Reason with him. Make him understand. She sat on the edge of the bed.