Herd to Breathe

by Amelia C. Adams

  He glanced around. “Are we alone?”

  “No. Beans and the girls are in the kitchen, and there are a few other brides home today.”

  “Well, I’ve heard enough about your chaperone rules that I’m not about to make things even more complicated now.” He walked over to the doorway of the parlor and called out, “Hello? Can anyone hear me?”

  Cina raised an eyebrow. What on earth was he doing?

  Footsteps clattered down the hall, and then she heard a young woman’s voice. Esperanza. “Yes, sir? May I help you?”

  “Yes, please. Would you mind coming into the parlor?”

  She came into the room and gave Cina a quizzical look. All Cina could do was return it.

  “Miss . . . what’s your name?”

  “Esperanza, sir.”

  “Esperanza, given the nature of the conversation we’re about to have, and given the restrictions society has placed on us—which are quite ridiculous, in most cases—would you please be our chaperone for a few minutes?”

  “Of course.” She sat down and looked at the two of them expectantly.

  The captain turned back to Cina. “Miss Fairbanks, my brain has been in such a muddle these last several days, I’ve hardly been myself. The girls are quiet and withdrawn too. The light you brought into our lives has disappeared, and there’s simply no way to replicate it or replace it. We need you, Cina. We need you badly, and there’s only one way to resolve this entire issue.” He paused, looking at her intently. “Will you marry me?”

  Her breath caught in her throat. “Marry you?”

  “Yes. Marry me, come live with us at the fort, be a mother to my girls. Make our lives complete.”

  “But . . . but . . .” She glanced over at Esperanza, who had a big grin on her face. “I don’t know,” she said at last. “I promised myself I wouldn’t settle for a relationship without love—that’s ultimately why I called things off with Mr. Gray.”

  The captain tilted his head to the side. “You think this would be a marriage without love?”

  Before she knew what was happening, he’d stepped forward, snatched her up in his arms, and was kissing her. She was caught off guard, but most pleasantly so, and she curled her fingers around his lapels and returned his kiss with all the pent-up feelings she’d been pushing down ever since she met him.

  She was nearly out of breath when he finally let her go, and he looked down into her eyes, seeming like a drunken man himself. “Does that feel like a loveless marriage to you?” he asked hoarsely.

  “No, Captain, sir,” she replied. “I just . . . I didn’t know you felt that way.”

  “Well, I could hardly go proclaiming myself with Mr. Gray popping up all the time.” He released his hold on her and stepped back, then glanced over at Esperanza, whose eyes were wide. “You don’t have to tell anyone about that, do you?”

  “Oh, no, señor,” she said. “Yo no hablo ingles.”

  He chuckled. “I like you, Miss Esperanza. I like you a lot.” Then he turned back to Cina. “But not as much as I like you.” He pulled her in for another kiss.

  This time, she giggled against his lips, and he leaned back. “Is this a laughing matter, Miss Fairbanks?”

  “Not at all,” she replied. “I’m just delightfully surprised. I’d hoped . . .”

  “One of the best things you can do if you’re hoping to gain someone’s feelings is to break off your relationship with the person you’re courting.”

  “I see. Yes, that would be very helpful.”

  “Quite.” He looked down into her eyes. “So, about my proposal . . .”

  “Proposal? Oh, that’s right. There was a proposal.” She pretended to be thinking about it, even though she already knew a thousand times over what she wanted. “Yes, I believe I could marry you. It might take a great deal of sacrifice on my part—I mean, I really did want to be an accountant’s wife—but I’m sure that in time, I’ll adjust.”

  “That’s very kind of you, I’m sure.” He traced her jawline with his thumb. “Give me one month. My accommodations at the fort are nicer than most because of my rank, but I want to add on a room and make some other repairs. You, of course, will have final say in all decisions, and I’ll need you to choose things like new curtains and dishes—I’m hopeless at that.”

  “Curtains and dishes in my own home . . . Oh, I like the sound of that.”

  He held her a little tighter. “And I like the sound of bringing you home with me when it’s all finished. One month?”

  “One month.”

  He brushed his lips across her forehead, then stepped back. “Now that we’ve thoroughly scandalized our chaperone, shall we tell the girls?”

  “Of course! They’re just in the kitchen.” Cina took a step in that direction, but the captain squeezed her hand.

  “I’ll get them.”

  Once he was out of the room, Esperanza turned to her with a grin. “Now I know why you have such a hard time breathing around him.”

  “Do I?”

  “You haven’t noticed?” Esperanza laughed. “Whenever you have strong emotions, you breathe differently. We all noticed it the first day. I think it’s the way you handle your feelings, the way you stay calm.”

  “I . . . I suppose you’re right. I’ve never thought about it, though.” Cina looked toward the doorway, her heart thumping. “Did he really just propose, or am I dreaming?”

  “Both. It’s a wonderful dream come true.” Esperanza stood up. “Since he’s bringing the girls, I’ll leave now. Congratulations, Cina.” She gave her a hug. “I’m so happy for you.”

  “Thank you.” Cina wiped her eyes when her friend stepped away. “I must be having emotions again.”

  They both laughed, and Esperanza left the room.

  Just seconds later, Cina heard little feet scampering down the hall, and then the girls burst into the room. “Miss Fairbanks! Are you going to be our new mama?” Summer asked, throwing her arms around Cina’s waist.

  “Yes, I am. Is that all right with you?”

  Summer looked up, her eyes shining, and nodded.

  “I already knew,” Madeline said. “I figured it out.”

  “You did?” the captain asked. “How did you know?”

  Madeline shrugged. “She told Mr. Parnell we’re her children. That makes her our mama.”

  “You realized it before I did,” Cina said. She took a seat on the edge of one of the chairs so she’d be at eye level with the little girl. “Is that all right with you? I know I’m not your real mama, and I don’t want you to forget her, but I’d love to help your daddy take care of you.”

  Madeline took a step forward and gave Cina a hug. “I’ve been praying for you for a long time,” she said into Cina’s shoulder.

  Cina couldn’t help the tears that overflowed as she wrapped an arm around each girl. “I’ve loved you from the moment I first saw you,” she told them.

  “And our daddy? Did you love him from the first time too?” Summer asked.

  Cina glanced up at the captain, who was watching her with an amused smile. “Maybe I did, but I didn’t know it right off.”

  “That’s because grownups sometimes take longer to learn stuff,” Summer said. “Madeline told me we should be very patient.”

  “Oh, she did, did she?” Cina gave the girls another squeeze, then let them go. “I’m glad you were so patient, but now I’m going to need lots of help because we have a wedding to plan.”

  “We can help?” Madeline asked.

  “Of course! I couldn’t possibly plan a wedding without you.”

  “We need to go tell Beans,” Madeline said, taking Summer’s hand and running back down the hall.

  Cina watched them go, then turned to the captain. “I suppose I could start calling you Richard now, but I’m not sure. I like ‘Captain.’ It’s so official and authoritative.”

  He chuckled. “You can call me whatever you want as long as you’re also calling me ‘husband.’”

  Her he
art warmed. “I can’t wait. I’ll have to keep myself very busy all month so I don’t drive myself crazy with anticipation.”

  “I think I know how you feel.” He reached out and took her hand. “Thank you for being so wonderful to my girls, Cina. I knew that whoever I married, she would have to love my children, and I feel so blessed to have found you.”

  “I’m the blessed one.” She gave his hand a squeeze. “So very blessed.”

  He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “Now, where’s that matchmaker of yours? Seems to me I ought to reimburse him for your travel expenses, but I certainly got the better end of this deal.”

  “His office is right through that door,” she said, indicating the way. She was so glad the captain had thought about the money, and that he had the means to do something about it. Violet had only brought it up once, but that kind of deficit in the accounts could hurt the business, and it was such a relief to know that seeking her own happiness wouldn’t hurt Redburn Matchmaking.

  “I’ll go speak with him. I’ll be right back—don’t you go anywhere,” the captain said, touching the tip of her nose with his finger.

  “Well, if I do, you’ll always know where to find me,” she replied. “You’re stuck with me forever now.”

  “Most delightfully. And I like that word—forever.” He smiled, and it lit up his eyes and filled her heart with joy and promise. She could hardly wait for them to begin their forever together.

  Epilogue

  The church seemed filled to the rafters. The men from the fort had come out by the wagonload and made a fine sight in their uniforms, and the brides to match were no less festive in their summer dresses—including Myrakle, whose suitor had surprised her with the gift of a trained puppy. It could never replace Dumpling, of course, but it gave her the courage to push forward and find happiness again.

  As Cina clasped hands with Richard in front of the preacher and repeated the words that would join them together as man and wife, a surge of gratitude filled her chest. She knew that marriage wasn’t easy, and that being married to a man in the military would be difficult. She would see him face tough decisions, and she might have to send him into battle at some point. It was something she had to prepare herself for, but she knew too that there would be moments of tremendous joy, and she would gather those moments and hold on to them for the times when things were hard.

  After the ceremony, everyone headed back to the Redburn house for the wedding party. Myrakle and the Penella brothers teamed up to provide background music in the parlor. Beans stood guard in the kitchen, making sure no one tried to sneak past him as he served up the refreshments. “When Chance asked me to stay on and help him, I didn’t know I’d be runnin’ a wedding cake business,” he said, grumbling good-naturedly. “Seems that’s all I do these days.”

  “Oh, you love it and you know it.” Cina leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Everything looks wonderful, Beans. Thank you.”

  “Aww, you’re welcome. And congratulations—I know you’re gonna make the best possible wife and mama for that little family.”

  As Cina moved around from guest to guest, thanking them for coming and accepting their well-wishes, she couldn’t help but smile to think about all the friends she’d made since taking the leap of faith and coming to Colorado. It hadn’t been easy, and she knew there were still some wagging tongues, but none of that mattered because she was going to be happy now—blissfully happy.

  She stepped onto the front porch, needing a breath of fresh air, and a moment later, Richard came out of the house and joined her. “There you are,” he said. “I thought maybe you’d decided to make your escape while I was distracted talking to Mr. Penella.”

  Cina chuckled. “I told you—you’re stuck with me forever. I just needed a moment to get some air and some quiet. It’s quite the party in there.”

  “Yes, it is. I have a feeling this house is going to become quite famous for throwing wedding parties.”

  “That’s almost what Beans was saying a minute ago.” Cina threaded her arm through Richard’s and laid her head on his shoulder. “You know what? In this moment, I’m absolutely, completely happy. There’s not one thing in the world I could possibly want that I don’t have.”

  “Hmmm. In that case, maybe you don’t want your wedding present,” Richard said.

  “You have a wedding present for me?”

  “Yes, but if you don’t want it—”

  “Of course I want it! What is it?”

  He laughed. “All right, all right. Here you go.” He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a letter, then handed it to her.

  When she unfolded it, she recognized the handwriting. “Aunt Zina?”

  He nodded. “Go on—read it.”

  She did, although her eyes filled with tears almost immediately and it was hard to see the words.

  Thank you for contacting me. Your letter of introduction was a surprise and a delight. I’m so pleased to hear that Cina has found a good man to marry, and of course I’d love to see you. I’ll be prepared for your arrival on the twentieth of next month, as you suggest, and I will eagerly prepare a room for your daughters as well.

  Cina looked up at Richard, whose grin was nearly as big as hers. “We’re going to Alabama? How did you know?”

  “I might have asked Violet for some ideas.”

  She threw her arms around his neck. “Thank you! Thank you so much. You’ll love Aunt Zina, and I know she’ll love you. And the girls! Oh, she’ll just adore the girls.”

  Richard slid his arms around her waist. “So, what do you think, Mrs. Spencer? Are you even happier now than you were five minutes ago?”

  “Yes, I think I am.”

  “I want to make you happier every single day of your life.”

  She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “Well, I think you’re off to a wonderful start.”

  The End

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  About Amelia C. Adams

  Amelia traces her family tree right back to the settlement of the Old West—her great-great-grandmother even drove a wagon to her new home. Amelia is a wife, a mother, and a novelist. She spends her days dreaming up stories and her nights writing them down. Her biggest hero is her husband, and you might just see bits and pieces of him as you read her novels. She loves all things historical and enjoys learning about days gone by, but she's glad she was born in modern times because the Internet is awesome, and she's glad she doesn't have to wash her clothes by hand in a galvanized tub. She’s an eater of tacos, a taker of naps, and a dreamer of dreams.

  You can reach Amelia at ameliaadamsauthor@gmail.com.

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