“What are you doing?” she asked, suddenly realizing how small the bathroom actually was.
He ran a hand over his face, his muscles pressing hard against his shirt. His hand fell to his side and his gaze locked on hers. “I hate this.”
“And I don’t? You don’t think that I replay that night over and over in my head, wishing I had just kept my damn mouth shut.”
He went to her, wrapping his hand around the back of her neck and pressing his lips to her forehead. She closed her eyes, trying to force the tears and pain to stay down. He rested his head against hers his hand gliding across her jaw until his palm molded to her cheek. His thumb brushed against the heated skin of her face.
“I’m sorry,” she said, feeling the need to apologize because at this point an apology was all she had.
There was a struggle in his eyes, one she couldn’t quite decipher.
The emotion that she was so desperately trying to hold back began to spill forward as his other hand moved to her face.
“Shh,” he said, the warm mint of his breath brushed against her skin like a soothing caress. “Don’t. Please.” He kissed her forehead again, then the spot right beside her eye.
She sucked in a startled but satiated breath as his hands moved down her neck to her shoulders, a slow torturous journey that left a trail of burning hot skin in its wake.
His fingers curled into the fabric of her shirt, and he urged her closer. Her chest pressed against his, and she blinked up instantly, getting lost in the blue depths of his eyes.
Her breathing became unsteady, increasing with each exhale as his hands moved across the small of her back.
His head tilted, face inching closer ever so slowly. “We shouldn’t,” he said just as his mouth captured hers. His lips moved tenderly in a soft, body melting kiss before passion consumed them both, and she thrust her hands into his short dark hair, pulling his head closer.
Taking back control, his fingers tangled in her hair and he tilted her head, deepening the kiss. His tongue dipped into her mouth, and she moaned at the welcomed assault.
His lips settled more firmly over hers as he coaxed her to meet his intensity, a shift so erotic it caused her knees to weaken. She didn’t have to worry though, he held her tight against him, keeping her from melting into a ravished puddle onto the floor. His hand slipped beneath the fabric of her shirt, pressing against bare skin.
A moan rose in his throat as he pressed her up against the door, his knee slipping between her legs. She moved against him, searching for a way to relieve the ache that was growing ruthless by the second.
His hand slipped from her skin and she whimpered, instantly missing his touch. Skilled fingers ran up her arms and across her neck, sparking every nerve ending to life. Desperate to feel his skin against hers, she reached for his zipper fumbling on the button.
“No.” His hands tightened on her shoulders, and he pushed her away. “I can’t do this.”
She looked up at him, shocked and confused. “Why not?” She had felt the passion flowing through his kiss, heard the carnal moans rising in his throat, and she knew, without a doubt, that he finally realized the undeniable tether that existed between them.
He ran a hand through his hair and stepped away, pacing back and forth. Tension pulled at the fine lines around his eyes and accentuated the three creases on the bridge of his nose. He came to a stop in front of her, holding up his pointer finger.
“For starters… if Matt found out, he would fucking castrate me,” he said in a loud whisper.
“Are you sure he hasn’t already, because clearly you’re lacking balls.”
“He’s my best friend.”
“And he is my brother. So what?”
“So what? Have you met him? From the minute you and your sisters started wearing bras he made me swear to never go after any of you, to always protect you against guys like me. How the hell can I go behind his back and betray him?”
“I’m so glad you and my brother think you can control who I can and cannot date. It’s none of his damn business.”
“Maybe so, but he thinks it is, and I can’t do anything that would jeopardize our friendship.”
“It’s an excuse, a bad one at that. You aren’t a sixteen-year-old kid anymore; you’re a thirty-six-year-old man who is more than capable of making his own decisions. Unless you just don’t want to hurt me. If you don’t want me, just tell me.”
“That’s not it.”
“Then what is it?”
Sam took a deep breath then let it out slowly. “I had no one until your brother asked me if I wanted to join a kickball game one day. He saw beyond the hand-me-down clothes to a kid who just wanted to fit in. He gave me that chance. He gave me his old clothes that actually fit so people would stop making fun of me. He helped me with my homework and taught me how to field a ball. But more than anything, he gave me the one thing that I always wanted. He gave me a family. I owe him everything for that. So I might be a thirty-six-year-old man, but that eight-year-old boy is still inside me, and he still remembers.”
While Hadley knew Sam’s upbringing wasn’t always pleasant, she had no idea how bad it actually was. He had always been so upbeat and confident, never once discussing what was or wasn’t waiting for him at home. Now knowing, she wished she could go back in time and give that eight-year-old boy a hug.
“I didn’t know all of that.”
He reached out, cupping her cheek in the warmth of his palm. The pad of his thumb brushed softly against her skin as those aquamarine irises bore into hers. “Any man with eyes would be an idiot not to want you. I’m lucky because I also get to see beyond the package to what really matters on the inside, and it’s fucking beautiful. But the question of whether I want you or not is irrelevant when there are much bigger things at play.”
“So that’s it? We never get a chance.”
“Afraid not.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“It is what it is. I’m sorry.”
Sam slipped out of the bathroom and left her there alone.
She looked in the mirror, searching for the strength to go back out there, but couldn’t seem to find it. Maybe she did have a headache after all.
Chapter 12
If Sam couldn’t stop thinking about Hadley before, now he was completely consumed with her. Everywhere he turned he saw her face, remembered the taste of her lips, the feel of her hips, and the way she moaned against his mouth. God, she’d wanted him so badly, and damn did he want her, too. It took every ounce of self-control he had to push her away and walk out of that bathroom before taking her dirty against the door.
He had never felt a desire so intense in his life, and the fact that he managed to walk away was mind boggling. It was for the best… at least he was trying to convince himself it was. He meant everything he had said to her. There were just too many complications for them to be together. He couldn’t sacrifice a lifelong friendship or a family who took him in when he was a poor kid with no semblance of structure in his sad, pathetic life.
For the next few hours he would be out on the water with his best friend, fishing and throwing back a few beers. Hadley would be the last thing on his mind or so he hoped.
Sam pulled into Matt’s driveway and threw his truck into park. It was rare for him and Matt to both have the same day off, so they always managed to get together when they did.
The fall was coming to an end, and pretty soon the ground would be covered in two feet of snow, and any sign of foliage would be stuck beneath it. So before the frigid temperatures of winter ascended upon them and the lake behind Matt’s house froze, they were going out in Matt’s canoe one last time for the season.
Sam grabbed his fishing pole out of the back of his truck and headed to the front door of the log cabin. He knocked once, and the door flew open. Matt holding a wailing Matthew on his shoulder, motioned for Sam to come in.
It was still weird seeing his best friend with a kid. In his mind they were still eighteen, and to thi
nk that they were no longer that age, and that eighteen years had passed since then, was a hard pill to swallow.
When Shay had come back into Matt’s life, Sam was happy, even though he knew it meant the end of an era. But seeing the joy on his friend’s face when he’d said his wedding vows and when he came into the hospital waiting room to announce the arrival of his son, Sam knew everything turned out exactly how it should have.
Sam took Matthew’s hand and leveled his face with his. “What’s the matter, little man?”
“He has a loaded diaper,” Matt answered.
Sam let go of Matthew and stepped back, holding his hands up. “That’s Daddy’s problem.”
“Gee thanks. You know I’m looking forward to the day you have your own kid.”
“We both know that’s never going to happen.”
“With the amount of women you’ve slept with…”
Sam suddenly felt uncomfortable, shifting from one foot to the other as he ran a hand through his hair and tried to smile. If Matt knew that the woman Sam had his eyes on now was Matt’s own baby sister, Matt wouldn’t hesitate to knock him out.
Sam shrugged. “Safety first, my friend. Safety first.”
“Even safety measures aren’t a hundred percent guaranteed, so the fact you haven’t accidentally knocked someone up astounds me. Then again, for all you know there’s a little Sam somewhere out there in the world.”
“Impossible,” Sam said through clenched teeth, tension inching up his neck at the thought. He didn’t want kids, but if by some occurrence it happened, he would never want that kid to grow up like he did—without a father. He would step up and be a man, taking care of his responsibilities as one should.
Matt held up his hand. “I was kidding.”
Sam took a deep breath and brushed it off. “I know. Just don’t want history to repeat itself.”
“It won’t. Besides, your dad was sixteen when he got your mom pregnant. You can’t even compare at this point.”
“You’re right.”
“I usually am. Now let me change him before Shay gets out of the shower.”
“Take your time.”
Matt walked down the hallway to Matthew’s room, and Sam tried to imagine himself with his own kid. He just couldn’t picture it. His dad might have been a kid when Sam was born, but he had thirty-six years to man up, and he never did. Sam wanted to think he would step up and be the guy his father never was if he ever did have kids of his own, but that asshole’s blood ran through Sam’s veins, and DNA wasn’t something you could change. It was a part of him and who he was, and that scared the shit out of him.
Bubbles, Matt’s dog that’d started out as one of Hadley’s many foster dogs, nudged Sam’s hand. He stared up at Sam with his crystal blue eyes. “Hey boy.” Sam bent down to the pitbull/husky mix, happy for a distraction from his thoughts, and scratched behind the band of brown that lined his white face and extended to his ears. The dog was odd looking, like his backside had been dipped in a vat of chocolate.
Sam stood up and walked over to the couch, and Bubbles followed. He patted the spot on the couch next to him, and Bubbles jumped up, resting his head on Sam’s lap. “You’re a good boy.”
“Hey, Sam.”
Sam looked over his shoulder and saw Shay in a pair of black yoga pants and a white t-shirt, running a towel through her long, dark hair.
“Hey.” He got up from the couch, abandoning Bubbles, and gave Shay a kiss on the cheek. “How you doing?”
“Can’t complain. I’m trying to come up with a new winter cupcake recipe. Have any ideas?”
Shay always came up with a new cupcake each season that had never been on Sweet Dreams Bakery menu before. Sometimes they would come to her right away and other times she would spend weeks trying to come up with something. Sam had tried to help in the past, but she always scoffed at his ideas. It amazed him that she still asked him for suggestions anyway.
“What about hot chocolate?”
“Done it.”
“Peppermint.”
“I did a peppermint mocha before.” Shay reached for a mug from the top shelf, straining on tiptoes to reach.
“You need help there?”
“Nope,” she said as she grabbed a spatula from the drawer and used it to fling the mug closer so she could grab it.
“That was impressive.”
“Short people problems; you have to get creative every now and again. Do you want some coffee?”
“I already had three cups this morning. I’ll pass.”
“Suit yourself.” Shay fixed herself a cup then leaned against the counter as she took a sip. “What else do you got?”
“You never like my ideas.”
“Today they’re not bad. They’re better than your summer suggestion of hot dog flavored cupcakes.”
“I still think they would be a hit.”
“And I still think they would make people vomit.” She paused. “Winter seems to be your thing, so come on. Hit me with some more ideas.”
Sam thought for a moment. “Eggnog, Gingerbread.”
“Oh!” Shay put her mug down and plucked a pen from a magnetic holder on the side of the fridge. She opened a drawer and rummaged through it before pulling out a notebook. She tapped the pen against her lip, and Sam swore he could see the gears turning in her head. “I can do a gingerbread latte with a caramel cream cheese frosting. That’s perfect!” She scribbled in her notebook then looked up. “Sam, you’re a genius.”
“Damn straight I am.”
Matt walked into the kitchen with a smiling baby Matthew on his hip. “Jar,” he said as he pointed to a mason jar filled with change and dollar bills. They started the swear jar right after Matthew was born in hopes that they could curb their language before their son learned a word he shouldn’t use. Between Matt and Shay and the rest of their family and friends the jar got fed quite often.
“Damn isn’t even a curse.”
“That’s twice,” Matt said.
Sam let out a sigh and reached into his pocket. He retrieved his wallet, plucked out two dollar bills, and shoved them in. This kid would have a full ride to college on the fact that people were unable to control their language alone. “Why is there a twenty in there?”
“Cooper likes to pay in advance,” Shay said.
Sam laughed. “He would.”
“He thinks I’ll lose track, and he’ll slip a few by at no charge.”
“Then he doesn’t know you at all,” Sam said.
Matt handed the baby off to Shay. “You need anything else before we head out?”
“I’m good. Matthew and I are going to head over to the bakery to work on Mommy’s new recipe. Isn’t that right?” Shay’s voice went up about ten octaves as she repeated herself five times. The kid seemed to enjoy it since his arms flopped around like he was hitting an invisible drum set. “Say goodbye to Uncle Sam.”
Sam took Matthew’s hand and held it up, giving him a high-five, then bent down and kissed his head. “You behave for your mom,” he said, and Matthew laughed like he just told the funniest joke. Sam laughed with him, his heart swelling with love for the little meatball.
As his godfather, Sam took the role seriously and made a point to come by at least once a week to see the kid. He was actually looking forward to when he was older, and Sam could take him to the firehouse, out fishing, and throw a ball around with him.
“The car seat is in your car,” Matt said to Shay. “I put extra diapers in the diaper bag and the tube of Desitin.”
“Thank you.” Shay gave Matt a kiss then Matt leaned down and kissed his son’s head. “You two have fun,” Shay said to them.
“Oh there’s a bottle in the fridge and—”
Shay shoved Matt in the chest. “Out. Before I throw you out.”
Sam laughed, used to their antics. Matt was such a control freak and Shay, after cutting ties with a controlling mother, wouldn’t put up with Matt’s crap. It was entertaining to watch his friend get
knocked down a few notches by a tiny brunette who barely came up to his shoulders.
“Just give me the word, Shay, and I’ll knock him off the boat. Make it look like an accident.”
“Tempting,” she said.
“Oh really!” Matt grabbed her by the waist and yanked her close.
Sam took it as his cue to head outside and wait. At least with the baby being awake, he knew they wouldn’t slip off together.
A few minutes later, Matt met him outside with a stupid grin on his face. “You ready?”
“Let’s do this.”
Just as they were about to make their way across the deck toward the lake, Sam heard the sound of crunching leaves beneath truck tires. He looked across the deck toward the driveway just as Hadley put her truck in park.
He suddenly forgot to breathe. Today was supposed to be about forgetting about her, clearing his mind of all thoughts of her, and now he was staring directly at her.
Her eyes widened as they met his, and he could make out the slight part in her lips.
She stepped out of the truck, dressed in jeans that curved perfectly to her thighs, accentuating the slender but muscular legs. Her usual flannel shirt was left unbuttoned and pulled over a white tank top that clung to her body like a second skin. Her tits, two beautiful mounds, peeked out from the low dip of the neckline.
Her hair was down, and though it framed her face strikingly, it was still hard to get used to the extra inches that had grown out.
Matt elbowed Sam, knocking him out of his trance, and moved toward his sister. Matt gave her a quick hug then bent down and gave Lady a pat on the head. He pointed toward the house. “Shay’s inside.”
“Thanks.”
Sam still hadn’t moved.
“Hey Sam.” She waved, as if she wasn’t completely filling his head with a million X-rated thoughts.
“Hey,” he managed, knowing damn well he couldn’t act weird unless he wanted Matt to get suspicious. “What are you doing here?” he asked, instantly regretting the hostility in his tone.
Hadley cocked an eyebrow at him. “Shay asked me to stop by and brainstorm ideas for new cupcake flavors.”
Hung Up on Hadley (Red Maple Falls, #5) Page 8