She reached down, grabbing more snow and flinging it over her head. She was just about to take refuge behind the old tractor her grandfather insisted on buying when Sam’s hand wrapped around her waist, yanking her toward him.
Ice cold chills ran down her skull as he smashed a snowball against her head. She twisted, using her body, but she threw them both off balance. They tumbled to the ground, the snow softening the impact as Sam put his body between Hadley like a buffer.
Her leg slid between his, her hands firmly on his chest. Laughter poured out of them, but as she looked up and met his gaze, her breath caught in her throat.
The lines on Sam’s face tightened and strained, while his jaw muscle ticked in tune with her rapidly beating heart.
The serene sounds of the birds chirping and the rustling of the tree branches all faded away. It was as if it was just the two of them—as it should be. No Matt, no past… just them and the sound of their hearts beating against each other.
Hadley closed her eyes. She could already feel the gentle caress of Sam’s hand coming up to her cheek, the roughened pad of his thumb brushing across her cold skin, lighting a fire beneath her as it went.
When she opened her eyes, Sam hadn’t moved an inch. His body was stiff and filled with tension. The features on his face were a mess of hard lines and determination. So many questions ran through her mind. She knew he wanted this just as much as she did, so why was he fighting it?
“I told you.” His voice was strained and gruffer than usual. “I’m not going to touch you.”
Hadley wouldn’t accept it. She had gone so long never knowing what his touch felt like and now that she knew she never wanted to be without it. She was tired of fighting, tired of letting the things out of their control dictate what was to be. She wanted him and she damn well knew he wanted her.
She reached up, running a single, insinuating finger down his cheek to the edge of his mouth, following the downward curl. She blinked up, eyes wide and innocent. “But you want to.”
The veins in his neck stretched and strained like cords about to snap. “Hads…”
“Don’t fight it.” For so long she was a coward, scared to admit what she felt, and now with the truth out there she found her strength. She took his face in her hands, and when he turned his head away she wasn’t deterred.
He swallowed visibly, his Adam’s apple rising and falling heavy as she coaxed him to look back at her.
“Kiss me, please.” She stroked his cheek again then ran her thumb across his bottom lip. “Don’t make me beg, because I will.”
His whole body shook, and his hands grabbed her waist, his fingers digging uncomfortably hard into the soft flesh. He finally looked at her, a hurricane of emotion raging behind his eyes.
“Please, Sam. I need you.”
“Dammit…” In one quick motion, he yanked her beneath him. His body came over hers, big, warm, and hard, pressing down on all the right places as his lips collided with hers in pure unadulterated desire.
A moan escaped her lips but he swallowed it, tilting her head and deepening the kiss. He greedily took, possessing her with each stroke of his tongue, each demanding caress of his hand.
She surrendered to his hunger, letting him take as he needed, devour her as he liked. His teeth nipped at her bottom lip, causing her to whimper in pleasure as she pressed against him. She wanted to feel him, all of him, with no coats or clothes between them.
Not thinking, only feeling, she reached for the buckle of his pants. When her cold hands grazed the warm bare skin of his stomach, he jolted away from her touch, but stayed hovering above her.
His forehead rested against hers, his breath short and heavy. “What the hell are we doing?”
“What we should’ve done years ago.”
“No.” He shook his head against hers.
Scared he was going to walk away from her again, she reached up wrapping her hand around the back of his head and holding him in place. “Yes.”
“This is wrong.”
“No, it’s the exact opposite. Nothing has ever felt so right to me. This, us, is right. If you could just stop resisting and worrying about everyone else, you would feel it, too.”
He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. “I do feel it. How the hell can I not? It’s so fucking strong. You’re all I think about.”
“Then why do you keep fighting it?”
His eyes opened, and for the first time in all the years she had known Sam she saw something she had never seen before—vulnerability.
“Honestly?” he asked.
She nodded.
“I’m scared.”
“Of what Matt will say?”
“I’m terrified I’ll hurt you.”
“You won’t,” she said, putting all of her faith into those words.
He pushed up and sat beside her. Without his heat surrounding her, the cold of the snow started to seep into her bones. A shiver ran up her spine and she sat up, wrapping her arms around bent knees.
“I should go,” Sam said, breaking her heart into a million jagged pieces. Just when she thought they were finally moving forward he was shutting down.
“Okay.” There was no use arguing. He knew how she felt, knew exactly what she wanted, and now, as much as she despised it, there was nothing she could say or do to stop him from walking away.
He stood, wiping the snow off the back of his jeans. He looked down at her, but afraid the tears that were threatening would push to the surface, she refused to meet his gaze.
His silhouette cast a dark shadow over her, and she bit her lip trying to divert the pain from her heart. An undecipherable noise came from him like he was going to say something but thought better of it.
He turned and walked away, making her wonder if coming clean with him about her feelings was nothing more than a big mistake.
Chapter 14
“I think someone needs a nap,” Chase said to Sam as they pulled into the firehouse. They had just come from a car accident up on the main highway where a kid veered off the road while texting and slammed into a tree. He was lucky he wasn’t fucking dead. He had the airbags and the jaws of life they had to use to get him out to thank for that.
“Stupidity pisses me off,” Sam growled.
“You were cranky way before we got that call.”
“Whatever.” Sam got out of the truck and slipped out of his pants and boots before kicking them off to the side.
“Want to talk about it?”
“Do I look like a chick? No, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“It might make you feel better.”
“The only thing that’ll make me feel better is if you get out of my hair. I have paperwork to do.”
“If you change your mind, I’m here.” Chase held his arms out, and Sam shook his head as he turned toward his office. He loved Chase like a little brother, but the kid talked too damn much.
Sam settled behind his desk and got to work, hoping the monotony would help ease the fiery desire that was burning inside him.
The minute he’d seen Hadley at her grandparents, he should have left, but no… he had to stay, knowing damn well what would happen if they’d gotten within arms distance of each other. He thought he was a strong man, but she was proving him to be weak with little to no self-control.
The only thing that seemed to work was avoiding her, but he couldn’t keep that up. Their lives were interwoven in multiple aspects of their day to day that evading her would alter so many other things.
And the truth was, he didn’t want to avoid her. He wanted to kiss the hell out of her, run his hands along the soft skin of her stomach, and make her moan against his lips as he worked her toward the edge. He wanted to see her face when he made her come and…
He squeezed the bridge of his nose, trying to dispel the X-rated thoughts running through his head. He had paperwork to finish and then after that…well, he guessed he’d head over to Calhoun’s.
He finished everything h
e had to do and glanced at the clock. His shift ended an hour ago, but he hadn’t heard Miguel come in. Chase must’ve warned him off. Sam grabbed his Chief’s coat and pulled it on. It was a certified chick magnet and that was exactly what he needed.
He pulled his coat into place as he walked out of his office. Miguel and Chase were on the couch, watching some zombie show.
“Hey Chief.” Miguel nodded. “I would’ve stopped in to say hi, but Chase here said unless I had a tampon and some Midol I should stay clear.”
“Fuck you both. I’m out of here. Try not to burn the place down.”
Chase smiled. “At least we’re qualified to put it out if we do.”
Miguel gave Chase a high-five, and Sam couldn’t help but laugh. “Have a good night. Be safe.”
Sam got into his truck and headed straight to Calhoun’s. He didn’t feel the need to go home and get clean if he was just planning on getting dirty anyway.
He pulled into the parking lot fifteen minutes later and headed inside. As soon as he walked in, Declan grabbed him a beer. He held his hand out to Sam, as he approached, and Sam greeted him with a shake.
“My man, how’s it going? Haven’t seen you in a while.”
Sam slid onto one of the bar stools and took a much needed sip of his beer. “Been busy with work.”
“Someone has to keep this town safe.”
“I just put out fires and pull people from wrecks.”
Declan smiled, running a hand over the bottom of the scar that started at his cheek and disappeared beneath the scruff. Nobody knew how he got it and nobody asked. “If you say so.”
“How’s business?”
“Still reaping the benefits of the fall tourists.”
Red Maple Falls was a popular destination for leaf peepers, and the Hayes’ family annual fall festival helped draw in even more tourists to the town, and the local businesses benefitted from it greatly.
“Good. That’s the kind of stuff I like to hear.”
Declan nodded over Sam’s shoulder. “That blonde has been eyeing you since you walked in the door.”
Sam took a sip of his beer then gave a quick glance over his shoulder. The girl winked as he caught her eye, and he flashed his most charming smile. He wasn’t going to have to work very hard tonight.
“I’ll catch you later,” Sam said, grabbing his beer and turning toward her.
Her hair was long and straight, falling over her shoulders and stopping just above the low dip of her shirt that showed off exactly what was beneath the clingy black fabric.
“Can I buy you a drink?” Sam asked as he approached, placing his beer on the small round high top she was sitting at.
She held up her full glass of wine. “Already have one.”
“Can I join you, then?”
She nodded. “Sure.”
He slid onto the seat across from her. “So, what’s a pretty girl like you doing in a bar all alone?”
“Had a date with a guy I met online. It didn’t go well so I came here to try and redeem my night.”
His mind immediately went to Hadley and the online date she had that led to the mess they were currently in. Had she gone on any other dates since? The familiar tension that seemed to be a part of who he was now tightened across his shoulder blades as he thought about some guy with his hands on Hadley.
“What about you?” the blonde asked.
He took a sip of his beer. “Just unwinding after a day of saving lives.” It was a crock of shit, but women dug a glorified hero.
“Sounds dangerous.”
“It can be if you don’t know what you’re doing.”
“I’m Lila, by the way.” She held her hand out, and Sam took it, instantly noticing the long, manicured nails hidden beneath red polish.
“Sam.”
“Well, Sam, it’s a pleasure. So, tell me a little more about yourself.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“A man of mystery.”
He was to most people, but not to everyone. Hadley knew him better than he knew himself. She called him on his bullshit, wouldn’t fall for this fake charm he was burying Lila in, and she sure as hell wouldn’t be wearing bright red nail polish.
The whole point of tonight was to forget about Hadley, but every damn thing reminded him of her, and it was starting to piss him off. If she wouldn’t get out of his damn head then he was just going to have to force her out.
He pulled at the bottom of Lila’s chair until their knees touched.
“I’d so much rather hear about you, darling.”
Lila smiled, a slight blush filling her cheeks. “What do you want to know?”
Honestly, all he cared about was getting into her pants. “Tell me everything,” he said.
She talked for over an hour, and Sam’s ears felt like they were going to start bleeding. She managed to move closer, resting her hand on his chest. Her fingers began to move seductively, and she was as good as his, but just as he was about to move in for the kill, Hadley’s face popped into his head.
“Damn it,” he muttered as he pulled away.
“What is it?”
“I forgot I had to do something down at the station.”
“Oh. I can go with you.”
“It’s going to take me a while. Stay, finish your wine.”
“Can I see you again?” she asked, biting her lip and fluttering her lashes.
Hadley rolled her eyes and gave an oh please in his head.
“You’re a sweet girl.”
“But…?”
“But I don’t want to lead you on and make you think this is something it’s not. I don’t date, and you seem like you’re looking for someone to settle down with. That guy is not me.”
“Right now, all I care about is not going home alone tonight.”
He ran a hand through his hair. The one time he’s completely honest with a girl from the start and she still wanted to take him home. Why couldn’t she have just slapped him and called it a night?
“Not tonight,” he said and before she could argue, he grabbed his coat and headed out.
When the cool autumn air hit him, he sucked in a breath, feeling relieved. He was still wrung tight, and he knew the only cure was Hadley. He had to at least see her tonight or he’d never be able to get to sleep.
He started toward his truck when he heard Declan call out to him. He turned to his friend, acting as cool as he could.
“What’s up?”
“Just seeing if you’re okay. You never run out on a girl like that, especially when it looked like you were about to close the deal.”
“I’m fine. I just realized there’s something I needed to do.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure. Thanks for looking out.”
“Anytime, brother. Be safe heading home.”
“Will do.” Sam jumped in his truck and drove straight to Hadley’s.
Her house was a modest Cape Cod with white siding and green shutters lined with bushes and surrounded by trees on both sides. He remembered the day she bought the house and how he celebrated with her and her family and friends. He remembered helping her move her stuff out of her parents’ house and putting together that cheap dresser she bought at a big box store that had too many pieces and not enough instructions.
He remembered how just a few weeks ago she sat on those very steps as she confessed her love to him, and all he could do was stand there in shock. That night changed everything, and for so long he wanted to go back and stop her before she dropped that bomb on him, but now he wasn’t so sure.
He shut his truck off and went to her door, knocking as loudly and hard as he could. “Hadley!”
Lady’s bark echoed through the house, and he heard Hadley mutter words of comfort.
She opened the door in a rush, dressed in a pair of black leggings and an oversized Red Maple Falls Fire Department sweatshirt. Her hair was down, framing her face, and her slate eyes were narrowed in concern. “Sam? Is everything�
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He grabbed her and smashed his lips to hers. He didn’t want to talk; he wanted to feel. He needed her, and god, he didn’t want to wait a second longer to take what he desired most.
She whimpered against his mouth, and he pushed her up against the doorframe, pressing his body to hers so she could feel what she did to him. His hands tightened on her face, afraid if he let go she would disappear.
Her fingers curled into his shirt, and she pulled him closer, parting her lips and opening to him. Without hesitation, he gave her what she wanted, dipping his tongue into her mouth and meeting her in a heated dance of give and take.
Her grip tightened and, with no warning, she shoved away from him. She wouldn’t look at him. It killed him inside; for once he had no idea what the hell she was thinking.
“Hads,” he said, reaching for her, but she backed away. Lady sat down at Hadley’s feet, looking at him as if to say, “Sorry, but I’m on her side.”
“What do you want, Sam?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“No, because you keep doing this to me. One minute you’re kissing me, and the next you’re shoving me away and if that’s what this is—”
“It’s not.”
“Then what is it? What do you want?”
“You.”
Her breath caught then her eyes narrowed. “What did you say?”
“You. I want you, Hads. I was at Calhoun’s tonight and there was this girl.”
Hadley’s arms crossed over her chest, and she leaned against the doorframe. “A girl. Really? So you fucked some girl, had a moment of clarity, and now you’re here for what? To claim your prize? I don’t think so.”
Disgust marred her features as she swiped the back of her hand over her mouth. She went to slam the door in his face, but he smacked his hand against it, stopping her from shutting him out. He moved closer to her, and she sucked in a startled breath. “I didn’t fuck her.”
“You didn’t?”
“I didn’t even kiss her.”
“Why not?”
Sam lifted his hand to her face, needing to feel her skin against his. His finger traced the soft curve of her jaw. “Because I didn’t want her. I tried to want her, but I couldn’t… because I can’t get you out of my damn head.”
Hung Up on Hadley (Red Maple Falls, #5) Page 10