“Why would I know?” Hadley blurted.
Betty narrowed her eyes at Hadley’s defensive tone then shrugged. “Just asking, dear.” She gave Hadley a curious smile before patting her shoulder and walking toward the bowl of chips.
Get a grip, she told herself.
“Hey,” Cooper said, resting a hand on her shoulder and turning her away from the others.
“What’s up?”
“I was hoping you can keep your eyes open for a dog you think would be a good fit for Tommy.”
“Does Sarah know about this?” Hadley asked, knowing how her brother liked to spring things on people and also knowing how much Sarah did not like surprises.
“We talked about it. I even told Tommy a while back that we would get him a dog, but because we went to the Philippines and then the holidays I thought we’d wait. Now that everything has calmed down, I was hoping to start the process.”
“I’ll make some calls.”
“Thank you.”
Hadley smiled. “A stepson, a new dog, and a baby… Where’s my brother?”
“He finally decided to grow up.”
“Adulthood looks good on you, Coop.”
“It does, doesn’t it?”
“And there it goes, right to your head. I swear it’s getting bigger as we speak.”
“As long as I can still fit through the door,” he said and flashed that famous Hayes’ smirk.
Hadley elbowed him in the side. “Get out of here.”
The clock ticked by, and Hadley kept checking her watch until she heard the front door open then the familiar sound of Sam’s voice. Her heart skipped a beat as he stepped into the room, and his eyes immediately landed on hers.
She wanted to go to him, fling her arms around his neck and kiss him hello, but she fought the urge. She kept her feet planted to the ground and let him say his hello’s before making his way over to her.
“Hey,” he said and took her hand that was hidden behind the appetizer table and gave it a squeeze, causing a burst of hot tingles to scatter up her arm.
“Hey.”
Mason walked over and grabbed a mushroom, and Hadley did her best at making small talk so as not to be obvious. Mason didn’t seem to notice as he popped another mushroom in his mouth. “I have a few growlers other there,” he said to Sam. “If you want a beer.”
“Thanks, I’ll get one in a second.”
Mason nodded then headed back to Cassie who was talking with Shay and Kate. Shay had Matthew on her lap and Bubbles and Lady at her feet.
“How was work?” Hadley asked Sam.
“Good, not much going on today.”
“No old ladies needed their cats rescued from trees?”
“I do more than rescue cats from trees.”
“I know you do,” she said with a playful smile. “I just like to tease.”
Desire heated in his eyes at the word. He swallowed and pulled at the collar of his shirt. “I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back,” he said and disappeared down the hall.
Hadley wasn’t sure if it was an invitation or if he really needed to use the bathroom. She waited a few moments, and when he didn’t come back, she went after him. She found him coming out of the bathroom his hands wet.
“You okay?” she asked.
“Just throwing some cold water on my face.”
“Why, was it getting hot in here?” She bit her lip for emphasis, and he took a deep breath before reaching out and grabbing her wrist. He yanked her close, bringing his mouth down on hers and walking backward until they were in the dark space of the bathroom.
He dragged a hand down the curve of her ass and squeezed the soft flesh. “I told myself I wasn’t going to do this. That I’d control myself.”
“What’s the fun in that?”
“What am I going to do with you?” he asked then kissed her again. “Are you ready to tell everyone?”
Was she ready to stop pretending like she wasn’t excited to see Sam when he walked into a room? Was she ready to not have to control herself from going to him and kissing him hello? Was she ready to finally call him hers? Yes, but there was something gnawing away at her stomach. “I’m a little nervous.”
He brushed his thumb across her bottom lip. “Give me your hand.”
She held it out to him without hesitation, and he pressed a cold round piece into her palm. She looked down at it and instantly recognized the worn pewter charm, the word ‘loved’ engraved into it and the O replaced with a paw print.
“You still have this?” she asked as she turned it over in her hand.
“Haven’t gone into a single fire without it since you gave it me.”
“That was over a decade ago.”
“Thirteen years ago, after the wildfire that tore through the Pines. You told me as long as I had it I would be safe because I would remember that I had people who were counting on me to come home to them.”
“I did. I was so scared.” She shook her head as the memories of that day came back to her. “The fire was raging out of control and they were evacuating people, but you were getting ready to run toward it. I was afraid something would happen to you. Afraid that I’d never get a chance to do this.” She pressed her lips to his, soft and sweet before pulling away. “It took me another thirteen years to finally get the courage to do that.”
“Every time I go into a fire, I touch this and then I think of what you said. Think of Missy, my mom, and your family, but most of all I think of you. I make a promise to myself to make it out because the thought of letting you down was too much for me to bear.”
“Sam…” She grabbed his shirt and yanked him to her, pressing the charm into her hand and holding it between their hearts as his mouth came down on hers. His hands fumbled with her zipper before coming back to her face.
A bright light turned on above them and they froze.
“What the fuck is going on?”
“Matt!” Hadley pulled her shirt back into place and did her best to cover her unzipped jeans. They never turned the light on or even shut the door all the way. It was like they’d been asking to get caught.
“We can explain,” Sam said.
“Explain? You just had your hand down my sister’s pants!” Matt’s finger shook as he pointed it at Sam then pulled it back. He rested his fist against his mouth before letting it fall to his side. “You’re unbelievable, you know that? You can have any fucking girl, and you have.” His hand shot up again shaking with rage and he thrust it toward Hadley. “So why her?”
Sam’s head fell forward, and defeat radiated off of him. “You weren’t supposed to find out this way.”
“This has happened more than once? How long has this been going on?”
Tension filled the air like a thick, unmoving mass. Hadley wanted to fix this, to turn back time and do this the right way. But the betrayed look on Matt’s face gave her little hope to this ending well.
“How long, Sam?” Matt demanded.
“A few months.”
“A few months? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m sorry.”
Hadley, annoyed at being cast aside as Matt and Sam stared each other down, stepped in between them and met her brother’s gaze with unwavering determination. “This is none of your business.”
“You’re my sister, so this is my fucking business.”
“No, it’s not!” She wanted to stay calm, talk to him like the adults they were, but her resolve broke before she even had a chance to try. She wasn’t a little kid any more. He didn’t get to make decisions for her, and he especially couldn’t tell her who she could and couldn’t date.
“Matt, I’m not a child.”
“Really? Because you’re sure as hell are acting like one.”
Shocked laughter erupted from inside her. “Me? Do you even hear yourself?”
Matt ran a hand through his hair, the tension visible in the strain of the veins in his hand. “You’re
only going to wind up with your heart broken.”
“Nice. Real nice. That’s what you think of your best friend.”
Matt slammed his fingers into his chest repeatedly. “I know him.”
“So do I!”
“Then you know he uses women, takes what he wants, and then gets rid of them as soon as they serve their purpose.”
Hadley shook her head. Matt had no idea what the hell he was talking about. “It’s different this time.”
“Really? Then why the hell have you been hiding whatever this is? If it’s so different, why keep it a secret?”
“Because I knew you wouldn’t be able to accept this.”
“This? What is this anyway? Huh? Do you even know?”
Hadley went to speak, but her words stuttered out, unsure of how to answer Matt’s question. Sam’s hand rested on her shoulder and gave it a calming squeeze as he lifted his head and met Matt’s stare head on.
“I love her.”
“What?” Hadley and Matt exclaimed at the same time, Hadley’s voice more shocked than Matt’s, which carried a bitter bite.
Sam turned to Hadley and framed her face with his fingertips. “I love you.” Emotion welled up in her throat, her eyes stung with long awaited joy. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him, how he was the only man she would ever love, but she couldn’t manage words.
“No, you don’t,” Matt said, and Sam took a deep steadying breath. He let his hands fall away from her as he turned to Matt.
“I do, and I’m sorry for hiding.”
“You’re incapable of it,” Matt snapped, clearly unconvinced.
“Hadley’s right. It’s different this time.”
“How?”
“It just is.”
“Is it? You’re the one who always told me you were your father. That you could feel it inside you. That you would never settle down because it was a waste of time, and you didn’t want to have to deal with someone’s broken heart. You’d rather fuck and dump. You’re too fucking selfish. Tell me you never said that! Tell me that I made it all up.”
Sam’s jaw tightened, the veins in his neck straining against the taut skin. Hadley watched as a veil went over Sam’s eyes. Something Matt had said shut him down, and he wasn’t willing to fight against it.
“People change,” Hadley said, though she had no idea if she was trying to convince Matt or Sam. She reached out to Sam, but he stepped back.
“He’s right.” Sam’s voice was barely a whisper.
“What? No!” Tears burned the back of Hadley’s eyes, her throat dried up but she forced the words out desperate for Sam to hear her. “He’s not. You’re not your father.”
“I have to go,” Sam said.
“No!” Hadley grabbed his wrist, but he ripped free of her grasp.
“It’s for the best.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it!”
“Matt’s right. I did say all those things.”
“So what?”
His deflated body stood in front of her as he lifted his eyes to her. They were broken and bitter. “I meant them.”
“You might have meant them when you said them, but not now.” She moved closer to him, reaching up and taking his face in her hand, urging him to look at her. “Look at me, damn it.”
His aquamarine eyes focused on her, darkening with each breath.
“You just told me you love me. That has to mean something.”
“I wish it were enough,” he said, then before she could stop him, he walked out the door, taking her heart with him.
***
Hadley went to go after him, but Matt grabbed her arm. “Let him go.”
“Screw off, Matt!”
“I’m only trying to protect you.”
Hadley spun around and shoved him as hard as she could. “Protect me?” Tears welled in her eyes, and she couldn’t stop them. “From what? From the only man I’ve ever loved? From the man who has been there for me through everything? You didn’t protect me. You fucking broke me.”
Matt froze at her words, staring at her with shock and disbelief.
“What’s going on?” Shay asked, a confused look on her face.
“Ask your asshole husband,” Hadley said before taking off down the hall. She ignored all the curious questions being shot at her and ran out after Sam, but it was too late. He’d already gotten in his truck and pulled away.
“No,” she said out loud. “This isn’t how we end.”
She reached into her pocket and fished out her keys, jumping into her truck and speeding off after him. He couldn’t run from her. Not after everything they had been through. He was taking the coward’s way out, and there was no way in hell she was going to allow that.
Her foot hit the accelerator, and she fishtailed out of her parents’ driveway. The drive felt like an eternity, but when Sam’s house finally came into view, she wished she’d had more time to think. She had no idea what she was going to say or do. All she knew was that she wasn’t letting him go without a fight. She needed him, and damn it, she knew he needed her, too.
She threw her truck in park and jumped out just as he was about to walk into the house.
He pressed his fingers into the space between his eyes. “Hadley, what are you doing here?”
“You can’t just walk away from me. You don’t get to do that.”
“What do you want from me?”
“I want you to say that you love me. That it doesn’t matter what my brother thinks. That you’re not going to give up on us.”
Sam just stood there, his back pressed against the doorframe.
“Sam? Don’t shut me out.”
“Matt was right.”
“No!”
“Yes. There’s a reason I don’t date. I’m tainted goods, Hads. You deserve better.”
“You don’t get to tell me what I deserve. That’s my choice.”
“I can, especially when you’re making the wrong choice.”
“So that’s it? What we’ve had for the past few months means nothing to you? Nothing?”
He slammed his fist against the house. “It means fucking everything to me.”
“Then why are you throwing it away?”
“You’ll never understand.”
“Make me understand, then.”
He shook his head, running his hands through his hair. “I’ll break your heart, and I can’t bear that. It has to end now before we get too deep.”
“Too fucking late,” Hadley spat.
“I’m sorry.”
Hadley spun toward her truck then stopped. She turned back to Sam, tears pouring down her cheeks. “If you were sorry, you would come to me right now, take me in your arms, and tell me that you love me. Kiss me, carry me into the house, and make love to me.”
They stared at each other for what felt like a thousand years before Sam took a deep breath and shut the door on their future.
Chapter 19
Early mornings on the farm was always Hadley’s favorite time of day, but today was different. Today she didn’t want to get out of bed, much less put on clothes and head to work. She wanted to hide beneath her covers and pretend like the world didn’t exist. Pretend that the past week didn’t happen, and when she opened her eyes she would be wrapped in Sam’s arms.
She loved him, yet she hated him. How could he walk away from her so easily? He didn’t even put up a fight. He just accepted defeat and walked away like a damn coward. Heat choked her, and she took a deep breath, trying to put out the rising fire.
Like every day since that dreaded one, she got up and went through the motions. She stood on the farm, looking out across the fields, trying to find the joy it once brought her, but it was as if she was empty inside. No matter how hard she tried to find happiness in the little things, she couldn’t.
“Hey, kiddo,” Jonathon Hayes said as he approached.
“Hey, Dad.”
He took a sip of his coffee as silence spread between them, making her a
ware of an oncoming lecture.
“Have you talked to Matt?” he finally asked.
“I have nothing to say to him.”
“He’s pretty upset about the whole thing.”
“Well, that makes two of us.”
“Whether you want to believe it or not, he always has your best interests in mind.”
Hadley rolled her eyes and looked at her dad. “That’s a load of crap.”
“You have to think like him for a second in order to understand him.”
“I’d rather dive head-first into manure.”
“I wouldn’t recommend that. You could suffocate then you’d wind up on that website where they give out awards for people who died in strange ways.”
“I wasn’t being literal,” Hadley said but couldn’t help the smile that tugged at her lips.
“I know, but I got you to smile, kind of.” He shucked her chin. “So, it’s a no go on Matt. What about Sam?”
“He made his feelings very clear.”
Her dad looked at her with a steady gaze, and she let out an annoyed breath. “What? I know you have something on your mind, so out with it already.”
“I love Sam like my own son, but he hasn’t had an easy life.”
“I know that. It might be hard for everyone to believe, but Sam and I did more than just have sex.”
Jonathon held up his hand. “I don’t need to know that, though I guess I’m happy to hear it. My point is, he has a lot of baggage and that stuff doesn’t just up and go away. It becomes a part of who you are and sometimes those insecurities, even though they have nothing to do with who you are anymore, still come back to haunt you. Sam is not his father. I know that, you know that, and I’m pretty sure Matt knows that, but a part of Sam doesn’t. That’s the part that’s pushing you away, and if you love him like I know you do, you have to find a way to make that deep, dark part of him see the truth.”
“But how?”
“That, my lovely daughter, is only something you can figure out.”
Hung Up on Hadley (Red Maple Falls, #5) Page 14