by Devin Sawyer
She bolts. She doesn’t need to be told twice. Out the front door, I see her figure begin to sprint. I give her three seconds and then I trail behind her. Ari’s athletic but so am I and she’s no match for me. Within a few seconds, I’ve caught up to her. When I get her right where I want her, within arm’s reach, I scoop my arm from behind her around her torso, pull her to me, and begin to spin the both of us around, her laughter ensuing. When I finally came to a halt her body slides down my own until her feet are on the ground again and it feels better than it should. She spins around to face me and places her hands on my shoulders. We are both laughing and breathing heavily.
“You smell nice,” she whispers. It feels intimate being this close but I smell like I do every day, like oil from a car. Before I can correct her, she leans in and I think she’s going to kiss me. My heart races. Right before her lips touch mine, she veers off to my cheek and with her tongue, languidly licks at my cheek. It’s disgusting and sexy at the same time.
“Like lemonade.” She smirks. I want to wipe that smirk right off her face.
“I can’t believe you just licked me,” I say, confused and astounded. This girl is getting bold.
She pulls away from my grasp and heads back inside.
“Well believe it,” is all she responds as she walks away from me. I follow her back in, teasing her all the way, only when we get back into the kitchen, I run right into her backside. She halts abruptly when she sees Gavin. He’s staring at all the receipts.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” I walk around Ari toward him.
“Came by to borrow a saw from Dad. What’s all this?” He points at the receipts with the Holdridge Brother’s information at the top. Time to fess up.
“All the receipts from the past year. After you were distressed about the shop, I met Ari and she works summers at her dad’s accounting business. She’s offered to help.”
He kneads his lips between his teeth, thinking. He nods his head like he’s continuing to process the idea but doesn’t give anything away. I don’t bother to mention the car I promised her in return because I bought that car when I was sixteen and never fixed it up. Now I have a reason to and it’s mine to give away.
I hear Ari’s voice soft and timid behind me.
“Uh, it’s probably time for me to get back anyway... I’ll start running numbers tomorrow…. If you want.” I can tell she tacks that last part on because she feels unsure. I even feel unsure. I don’t know what Gavin thinks about this or if he feels undermined. I never cleared it with him.
“I’ll be back in a half hour,” I tell him. I assume he wants to discuss it further, which is fine, but I’d rather Ari not be here. I know he takes his business very seriously.
The ride to drop Ari off is silent again. Our small moment of comical reprieve is gone and the silence settles itself between us again. It makes me hate silence. I turn the radio on again. I study Ari’s features. She looks even more distant than before, earlier she just looked timid, uncomfortable even. We both were, not really knowing how to approach the kiss from the weekend but now she looks frustrated and upset. Why the hell would she be angry at me?
“Fess up. What’s wrong?” I eye her inquisitively.
“Nothing.” Her response is short and clipped. Nothing, my ass.
“Ari, I have to go back and explain what we’ve been doing behind my brother’s back concerning his business, his baby, please don’t give me something else to stress about.”
“I just need the car, Torren. If this is over, then I can’t let this be for nothing. It’s one less thing I have to worry about paying for in college.” Her irritation seems eased, having admitted to this, but the fear of starting over, starting from scratch, still lays behind her eyes.
“I told you. The car is yours. Whether you solve this or not. Even helping us get organized is going to help us from this point on at the shop. Plus, now I know how to help Gavin out too. If Gavin wants us to stop it’s still yours. I haven’t finished the work on it yet, but I will by the end of summer. Come first day of school you should have a ride.”
Her face softens, and I feel the same relief she does wash over us.
“Thank you,” she adds. She sits across the bench style seat from me and watches me intently as I drive, studying me. I hide from her eyes not being able to take that kind of directness.
“No problem,” I concede nonchalantly, staring straight ahead at the road. She peels her eyes back toward the road after a moment too long and I finally find the courage to glance over at her.
I am in way over my head with this one.
When I return, Gavin’s out in the shed digging through Dad’s tools. I go out to join him.
“Are you pissed?” I ask as I walk up behind him? He turns to face me.
“No. No, I’m not pissed. I just wish you would have told me before. What makes you so sure we can trust her?”
I shrug my shoulders. I’m not sure. I don’t really know her well enough to vouch for her but other than her sassy attitude she seems like a decent person.
“I was just trying to help.”
“I know,” Gavin says. “I know ya were, kid.” He pats my shoulder as he passes by me to leave. I guess this means that Ari can continue to work over here. This makes me happier than it really should. It seemed we were just getting to the good stuff. I type out a text to Ari letting her know the coast is clear to continue.
I make dinner for Dad when he gets home, and I head to my room, needing the isolation of my own thoughts. Needing to finally face what I avoided all weekend. I lay on my bed imagining Ari. I picture her physical outline first, because hey, I’m a dude. Her body is petite with small curves in the right places. Next, I hear her sassy attitude and comebacks scolding me. Then there were the past few days when she finally let her guard down around me, when she gets real with me, when she’s playful. I like that part of her the best. This afternoon she lit up, her laugh setting fire to her face. Before I realize it, I’m smiling too. I feel happy.
I love that Ari doesn’t need anything more from me than what I’m willing to give. We have an arrangement, an agreement, everyone else in my life seems to need something from me. Dad depends on me to keep the house up, make his dinners due to his long work hours, Gavin needs me as cheap labor at the shop, and Jeff, well Jeff has just been a fucking disaster the last few years. I haven’t given myself over to Leila or any other girl because I can’t stand to be one other person’s shoulder to lean on. But Ari doesn’t need that. She wants her own things, her own life. I find it odd that they don’t support her more. They could easily buy her a car. Ari mentioned once that they are the bottom of the totem pole in their world. They don’t run or lead their lifestyle amongst the rich and famous and I was shocked when she said she gets treated like trash with the other kids whose parents work for the wealthy, even if her family seems lightyears ahead of my own financially. It makes me glad I went to Glennville and didn’t have to deal with that. I’d take a town of reckless rednecks over Ari’s school any day.
This world is not meant to cater to two people like us. I contemplate the invisible barrier of social classes. I should have her if I want. I worked hard, I was an honest person, loyal to a fucking fault, maybe not the smartest in my class but I did okay. What did it matter if Dad and I lived month to month paying bills and wearing second-hand clothes? Those things shouldn’t fucking matter in the long run. I deserved happiness. So why did it have to come into my life represented as the upper class. I told myself that if I wanted, I could have the same thing with Ari I had with every other girl. We could be a fling, one that I was dying to have. I wanted her in my bed badly, but even now I knew that wouldn’t be enough. I was fucking drawn to her, not just her looks but to who she was. Having her in my bed would mean having her in my life.
The rest of the week goes as usual only I feel the tension between us about to snap. Little touches pass between us anytime we can manage. I stare at her like I can’t wait to fucking get
my hands all over her and I’m torn between taking her to my bedroom and actually completing some work on the account between our flirtatious banter. Her big doe-eyes look innocent, but I see them follow me during our time together. Our connection remains unspoken. Neither of us verbalizes what we feel passing between us. It’s almost a competition at this point, wondering who might break first. I’m tempted for it to be me just so everything can be out in the open already. This silent tease leaves me with a growing case of blue balls each evening, but nonetheless the hunt makes things exciting.
On Friday I up the ante. I leave her inside to run numbers while I head out to mow the grass for Dad and decide I’m going to play dirty. I shrug my shirt off, deciding it’s too hot under the Texas sun. When I finish, it’s actually time to take Ari home and I’m annoyed that I didn’t get to see her more, but her reaction to me when I walk in to tell her it’s time to get her home was worth it. Her mouth opens just the slightest bit and I see her wet her lips with her tongue, her eyes not straying from me. I know she’s physically attracted to me. I can feel it between us all the time. I’m teasing her. I want her to take the bait. I like knowing that she can’t break away from this the same way I can’t seem to.
“Do you want to take a shower before we leave?” she asks more timidly than usual.
“Nah, I’ll grab one when we get back. I don’t want to risk your pops catching me drop you off.”
She nods her head and packages everything up, slinging her messenger bag over her shoulder. I hold the door open for her as we leave, and her body caresses mine so lightly when she walks by that I barely feel it, but I definitely notice it. This plan may have backfired on me and Ari may require more finesse than a set of nice abs. When we get to her house, she opens the door to hop out and every fiber of my being wants to stop her. I want to try kissing her again, just one more time, to know for sure. The idea of committing to a relationship with one person is still so foreign. Not that I’ve been with a ton of girls, but enough to know that some teenage girls are batshit crazy. I just can’t afford for this to end badly with Ari. I need her help more than my lust needs to be satiated. I watch her a few moments too long today as she walks in. She turns around when she reaches the door and offers the smallest parting wave. I wave back and head home.
On Friday, Jeff texts me that he’s coming into town, but he’s not really feeling up for a big group party. I tell him he’s welcome to come over to the house if he doesn’t want to be home and he says he will probably bring Chelsea as well. She’s always welcome here too. Gavin drops off a case of beer on his way home for us. Dad has never cared about us drinking as long as we are smart about it.
By the time I’ve showered, Jeff and Chels are hanging out in the living room, Jeff already has a Budweiser in hand. I head to the fridge and grab one of my own.
“How was west Texas?” I ask him, knowing he hates it out there but doesn’t want to give up the good money.
“Ask me after I finish this case of beer,” he states. We watch TV for a while, but I don’t have a ton of channels, just basic cable.
“This town is lame, let’s go to a movie,” he states. “My treat.”
Chelsea’s face lights up at this. Going to the movies is a rare treat for the people in this town.
“Yeah, sure. I’m down,” I respond.
“Chels, go load up that massive purse of yours with as much beer as will fit. I need you to be DD tonight.” Chelsea looks less enthused about the movie date now, but she does it anyway.
On the truck ride over I suggest that we let Chelsea pick the movie if she promises to avoid all romance themes since she was voluntold to DD. Jeff is reluctant but agrees. She surprises both of us when she picks a horror movie…and a classic one at that. We load up on popcorn and nachos, get Chels a soda, and snag an extra popcorn bucket to fill with ice for a makeshift cooler. Once we make it into the theater, we unload all the beers into our ice-filled popcorn bucket and sit back. Jeff and I slowly pull upward on the tabs of the beer, waiting for a loud commercial.
Psshhtt, the sizzle of the carbonation and the snap of the metal breaking open naturally finds a pause in the film and we both laugh about how obvious it was. It’s about that time a guy around our age turns around to shush us.
“Chill out dude, it’s just the commercials,” Jeff whisper-shouts back at him.
“What a douche,” Jeff says to just Chelsea and me this time but I’m not paying attention. Two seats over from douche canoe, I see a familiar blonde ponytail. I stare pointedly at it. She’s with a group, two guys and what I assume is also the back of Emily’s head. When she said she had plans, this is not exactly what I was expecting. Douche canoe sits with Emily and her and Ari are between the two guys. Pretty boy sits next to Ari, a little too closely. I run all our interactions from the week through my mind. Did I read into it wrong? We were clearly flirting. This is exactly why I don’t fucking do monogamy. This feeling doesn’t happen when you are just hooking up with a girl. I attempt to simmer my…jealousy? Fuck this, man.
“Dude.” Jeff looks at me, concern in his eyes. “What did that popcorn do to you?”
I look down at my hands and I’ve dented the side of the bucket of popcorn with my grip. I down my beer in a few quick chugs and tell Jeff to quit hogging them and pass me another one.
Halfway into the film and a six-pack in, there isn’t anything Pennywise could do to scare me. My buzz is rolling, and I feel more ambivalent than I did an hour ago. Even when pretty boy puts his arm around Ari, I slam another beer and let it roll off me. I let the numbing sensation of the alcohol course through me. If she’s looking for a man in Ralph Lauren button-downs and those stupid looking boat shoes… what do they even call those? Sperrys? She’s pinned the tail on the donkey’s ass with that one. Why are they even at this theater? They should be over in Layton at the Palladium with their fancy leather seats and 3d movies, not the dollar theater playing old reruns.
When the movie finishes, she files out with her friends and never even sees me. Friendship doesn’t hurt like this. I don’t like the disappointment I feel, and decide to chug another beer.
Chapter 9
Ari
“Did you do anything fun this weekend?” Torren asks as I’m trying to focus on adding up numbers.
“No, not really. What about you?” My voice is monotone as I try to maintain my focus on adding without distraction
“Jeff came into town. We saw a movie.” He accentuates the last word and I furrow my brow a little confused.
“Is that a euphemism for you watched porn together? Because if so, I take it back, I don’t want to know what y’all did this weekend.” I giggle a little at myself and return to adding.
“No, actually we went to see IT… the old one… at the dollar theater.”
I stop what I’m doing, looking up, a slight pause fills the air and I finally say, “Oh yeah, that’s weird. Em and I went to see IT too.”
“Just you and Emily? Because I could have sworn, I saw you there with two other people.”
“Yeah, Evan and Lucas, our friends.”
“Yeah,” he snarls. “They looked friendly alright.”
I hold back a smile forming at the corner of my lips. Whoever would have thought that someone else’s jealousy could feel this nice? A warm sensation flows through my body at his obvious discontent with Evan, but I hate to see the wary look on his face, so I put him out of his misery.
“Yeah, Em has a thing for Lucas. I indulged her. If I had known you were interested in going, I would have invited you.”
He wags his brows at me. “Yeah?” His confidence fully returned. I roll my eyes at him.
“Yeah. Maybe next time you should ask me if you want to go to a movie.”
“You would say yes?” He pushes me a little farther, hesitantly, and I look him directly in his eyes.
“Yes, I would say yes,” I say, poking a finger into his chest, playfully. I like how solid and broad he is. He feels nice under my t
ouch, even when it’s just the tip top of my finger.
“I don’t really date,” he mumbles so low I can barely hear him.
“Okaaaay,” I say not really knowing how the heck to respond to that and I go back to adding numbers, running data. “I don’t really date either,” I say after a moment. “Or at least I haven’t really dated.” A bit of embarrassment flushes my cheeks and I suddenly feel very awkward and that rush of warmth is back in a whole new uncomfortable way where my stomach feels like it wants to crawl out of my body. I was pretty sure Torren hadn’t meant it the same way I had, he chose not to date, I’m sure of it. And while I had Evan waiting on standby, I hadn’t exactly ever wanted to go on a date with anyone before.
“Is that not what you were doing at the movies? You looked like you knew how to do it to me.”
“That wasn’t a date. That was a favor to Emily.”
“Does the guy you were with know that?”
I hadn’t done anything really to give him the idea that I was interested but he had put his arm around me and he had been texting me more since then. I’d have to talk to him sooner or later, but he certainly wasn’t my primary concern at the moment.
“If he doesn’t, then I’ll tell him.” I force a straight-on glance at Torren, not backing down.
“Whatever.” He shrugs again, indifferent, and my feelings crawl up inside me and wither. That’s it. That’s all the fight I got. I was attempting, maybe unsuccessfully but trying nonetheless, to show him I was interested.
“But we could hang out some more, you know, outside of…this.” He gestures to us sitting here as we run numbers and eat Little Debbie cakes.
“Like…friends?” I ask, unsure of what exactly he’s proposing. Come on Torren, spell it out for me. Don’t make me do all the work here.
“Like as maybe more than friends. You’re cute…and feisty, I suspect it’s all a farce, a front you put up. That’s why I’ve been letting all that sass of yours slide for now.” He grabs my wrist and pulls me, causing my chair to screech across the floor closer to him. I’m close enough that I can breathe him in, smell him and I take the opportunity to memorize his masculine scent.