by Kent, Rina
“You do that.”
His narrows his eyes. “If you’re testing my bluff, then it’s your loss. You know I will do it.”
“I’m sure you will.” I nod in the opposite direction where a tall blonde walks in the direction of a small green car with her friend. “In exchange, I’ll have a go at Ice Princess.”
His smirk falls and his shoulders crowd with tension.
“I heard she can be fun and not so icy underneath the exterior.”
His right eye twitches.
Checkmate.
I slam my shoulder into his. “Stay the fuck away from Astrid.”
I climb into my car as he continues staring at her with darkened, angry eyes.
I don’t trust Aiden, but I trust whatever fucked up fixation he has on that girl since the first time he saw her last year.
She’s the same girl he’s been stalking on Instagram like a stage five creeper.
Now that Aiden’s taken care of, it’s time I focus on more pressing matters.
Like Jonathan and his fucking secret from hell.
43
Astrid
If life punches you, punch right back.
* * *
A week passes and life goes on.
I guess.
I’ve been focusing on my therapy with Dr Edmonds. We even have two sessions in the same week now.
I still can't remember but talking to the doctor helps. I get to focus on something that’s not the arsehole who shall not be named.
Since the day he pretended he doesn't even know me, he has erased me from his existence. When he walks by me, he doesn’t spare me a glance.
It’s like I’ve become invisible again.
In exchange, I erased him from my existence, too.
Dr Edmonds says that I’m evading my problems. He said the same about the fact that I haven’t spoken to my father since he flew to Russia last week.
But well, the shrink doesn't know everything. He just needs to focus on helping me regain my memories.
I know, deep down, that Levi is hiding something from the day of my hit and run. That’s why he’s been so hell bent that I drop the case.
For months, I’ve been blinded by his wickedness and charm that I didn’t look harder into it.
Now, I’m not.
Now, I won’t stop until I uncover everything that has to do with my accident.
I’ll pluck that crown off his head and push him to the edge.
Maybe then, he’ll realise how it feels like to have your heart broken and watch as it bleeds out.
On Saturday, the home team wins and Ronan throws his usual party. Dan invited me to the game. I passed, but I didn’t pass on the party.
I don't run away anymore.
When any of Levi’s groupies calls me a slut, I call her a slut right back.
If anyone attempts to touch me, I punch them in the face.
I’m done being tolerable to their ridiculous bullying.
Dan stopped me from punching Jerry when he started talking shit again last week. He said, my artist hands need to be protected. Instead, he punched him in the face, knocking him to the ground on my behalf. He almost got suspended if it weren’t for my testimony.
“Best friends are made to punch people for you,” he said when I found him in detention that day.
“No, they don’t, bug.” I laughed.
“Well, they should. I’m totally adding it to the manual.”
Currently, I put my arm in Dan’s as we walk into Ronan’s mansion. Drunk teenagers fall on either side making out or cannonballing into the kidney-shaped pool.
A loud pop song I don’t recognise thumps through the speakers and many kids dance to it, spilling alcohol all around.
One would think that Ronan would try to wind down the chaos, but he’s betting with Xander about who can down more shots.
If the howling and the screaming by the side of the pool are of any sign, Ronan isn’t winding down the party any soon.
Where the hell do his parents disappear to?
I grab a drink from a server — because it’s totally normal to have servers and butlers at teenagers’ parties — and down it in one shot.
“Liquid courage this early?” Dan asks with a slight lift in his lips before he throws one, too.
I submit my hair. “Okay, how do I look?”
“Badass.” He pulls my cheek. “You should’ve gone wild before.”
By going wild, Dan means that I wore the sinfully short denim shorts that he made me buy on a dare last year.
My lips are painted red and my hair is pulled up into a messy ponytail that I spent an hour trying to make it look right.
I wore a strapless black top, but against Dan’s suggestions, I did put on my matching denim jacket.
I might want to feel powerful, but I still want to crawl back into my comfort zone.
Which won’t happen.
Thus liquid courage.
Dan and I down tequila shots for what seems like half an hour before he starts getting fidgety.
I push him in the direction of a second-year girl who’s been watching him the entire time. “Go shag.”
He waggles an eyebrow. “Wanna join?”
I make a face. “You suck, bug.”
“I can suck.”
“Eww, Dan. Now, I need bleach, thanks a bunch.”
He makes two guns as he walks backwards with a grin. “Call me and we’re out of here, okay?”
That’s some commitment for Dan.
Tonight is different. I’m not bailing out.
I down one more shot. Woah. The tequila here is strong enough to make me spin.
Wait. Am I the one spinning, or is the room?
Fun.
I came here to have fun.
Although my feet are unsteady, I keep going on zigzag lines towards the football team where Ronan’s having his drinking competition.
I steal a shot from a passerby and mumble a sorry here and there when I stumble upon someone — or two.
The plan is to watch from afar. Like really afar.
I hide behind a leaf that adds some shadow to my face.
See, not noticeable at all.
Heat creeps up my neck and my arms. It’s freaking hot in here.
I tap someone’s shoulder and give him my shot. “Hold this for me.”
“Sure thing, love.” He’s smiling down at me. I smile back, or I think I do as I take off my jacket and throw it somewhere behind me.
Much better.
“Thanks!” I take back my shot. “Oh, Knight! Go, Elites!”
“Woohoo!” He pauses. “Wait. Was Danny boy right? Do you have a high alcohol tolerance?”
I tap my chest. “I’m the man.”
His eyes glint as he takes me by the arm and drags to the rest of the team.
“No,” I whisper-hiss. “I’m supposed to watch from afar, dummy.”
He chuckles, the sound devious as he winks. “Believe me, love, this will be more fun.”
Xander uses his shoulder to push through the football players before we stop beside Cole and number thirteen.
I giggle.
I forgot the name of the one who threw the party.
“Look who I found!” Xander shouts over the guys hoots. “A competition for Ronan.”
Yup. Ronan. That’s his name.
“Oh, puhleeze, bitch.” Ronan wipes alcohol from his mouth, his cheeks red. “I can drink an entire galloon and still fuck two girls into oblivion.”
“You’re a pig,” I tell him in a semi-slurred tone.
Ooh and Aaah’s erupt around us. Cole clutches Ronan’s shoulder. “You need to prove your worth, little shit.”
“She’s on!” Ronan is in my face. “No one can beat the king.”
“I can beat any king,” I hiss, rolling off my imaginary sleeves.
“Woohoo!” Xander raises my arm. “It’s on, team. Let the bets roll.”
Aiden walks straight to the middle of the scene and pushes bo
th Xander and Ronan off. “Leave, Clifford.”
Determination pumps in my veins as I place a finger on his shoulder and push him away. “No King will tell me what to do.”
“Hashtag burn.” Xander coughs as the others snicker.
I flip my hair back. “Are we doing this or what?”
Ronan offers me his hand. “Yes, my queen.”
I smile at the overdramatic tone he says it with.
Aiden shakes his head at his friends. “It’s your lives.”
In no time, Ronan and I are standing on top of a table with the entire team forming a circle around us.
All of them are chanting “Drink, drink, drink!”
The only rule of the game is that whoever falls is the loser.
My shots supplier is Xander and Cole is Ronan’s reluctant one.
In the beginning, I don’t really know what I’m doing until the buzzing of energy gets into my veins.
During the first shots, almost all the team is on Ronan’s side, chanting his number and his name.
Then, after a few rounds when I keep up with his pace, slamming one glass over the other, many of the team start chanting my name.
There’s something contagious about having so many people shouting my name and cheering me on.
“You’re going down!” Ronan slurs as both of us sway.
“No, you’re going down!” The ceiling is spinning, but I blink, bringing the shot to my lips.
I miss it and break into a fit of giggles when alcohol falls down my neck.
“He’s out!” The entire team yell, catching a falling Ronan.
“Hell yeah!” Xander shouts at a few guys by his side. “Pay up, bitches.”
“I won?”
Cole smiles, shaking his head. “You won.”
“I won!” I scream and jump.
Bad idea.
The ceiling spins round and round as I fall backwards. The cheering and hooting stop altogether.
Strong arms clutch me and I crack my eyes open, looking at the face that’s been torturing me for two weeks.
Pale blue eyes stare down at me as if I’m the most beautiful thing on earth.
And it does shit to me.
That look. Those eyes.
It hurts knowing I don’t have this in my life anymore. Why did he come in if he planned to leave all along?
I slap his cheeks with both my hands. “Oh, you’re real.”
Tears blur my eyes as I giggle. “Is this a dream or a nightmare?”
“Both, princess.”
44
Astrid
Why is it impossible to hurt you?
* * *
When I open my eyes, I have two thoughts.
Where the hell am I?
Why is there someone digging near my head?
I cradle my skull and wince. Apparently, the digging is in my head.
I turn to the side and sit up slowly. On the nightstand, there’s a cup of coffee, a bottle of water and paracetamol pills.
I snatch the water and pills. The water soothes my scratchy throat enough to sip the coffee.
Eww. It’s bitter.
I still sip it anyway because I need to wake up.
Tequila shots — and whatever shots I had afterwards — were a bad idea.
If Dan was going to stop me, he should’ve done it earlier.
I’m adding that to his friendship manual.
I feel like I’m going to topple over and puke all over myself. Oh, and the hangover will last for a week.
My gaze strays to my surroundings. I’m sitting on a king-sized bed with untidy sheets. The open balcony causes curtains to flap inside and into the room.
I’ve never seen this room in Dan’s house before. And since when do they have gold-rimmed ceilings?
I stare down at myself and gasp when I find out I’m only wrapped in a bathroom robe.
With a beating heart, I stare underneath. Shit. I’m completely naked.
I’m not in Dan’s house and I’m naked. Please tell me I didn’t do something I’ll regret.
The clearing of a throat pulls me from my stupor. My head snaps to the other side. I didn’t even realise someone else was in the room.
My breath comes in short gasps. Levi sits in a recliner with his jean-clad legs crossed above each other.
He’s wearing a black T-shirt that sticks to his defined abdominal muscles. His tousled hair is pushed back giving a full view of the sharp lines in his face and the murderous look in his pale eyes.
My stupid body comes to life and tiny tingles shoot straight to my core.
Nope. I’m not going there.
Crossing the robe over my chest, I jerk off the bed, abandoning the cup of coffee on the nightstand.
A stupid little part of me is wishing for a word from him. A touch.
Anything.
But I’m not that girl anymore.
It’s the first time I take the Clifford pride seriously. Levi won’t dictate my life anymore.
Tucking in my headache and my shell of a heart, I stride to the door. The moment I open it, a hand slams it shut from behind.
A large — and a very hard — body glues to my back. And the warmth. Damn him and his warmth.
I dig my elbows into his ribs. He doesn’t back off.
If anything, he pushes his hips into me from behind, pinning me in place.
Angry tears barge to my eyes.
How dare he do this to me when he already wrote me off?
How dare he play with my body and my heart as if it’s some game?
I turn around and punch his chest. “You don’t get to do this. We’re nothing anymore, King.”
His face closes off. “Says. Who?”
“You! We were never something to be over, remember?”
“So you decided to drink with my team.” His voice hardens. “Is that your way to get back at me?”
That was my way to get back at myself. I planned to drink myself into oblivion. But at some point, I started to have fun with Ronan and the guys. For a moment, I was able to forget about this bastard.
“I’m so over you, King.” I laugh with bitterness. “Oh wait. It wasn’t something to be over, anyway.”
“Fuck, Astrid.” He growls, closing his eyes. When he opens them, there’s a chaos of emotions I can’t decipher.
What happened to you?
Why did you push me away?
Those questions slip to the tip of my tongue, but I don’t ask them because deep down, I’m afraid of the answer.
I’m afraid he’ll cut through the fresh wound and ruin me beyond repair.
“Stop acting like you can belong to someone else.” He grips both my hips and pulls me into him. “There hasn’t been a moment where you weren’t mine.”
My fists clench and I hit his chest the hardest I can. “What the hell do you want from me, Levi?” Hit. “What?” Hit. “I can’t do this anymore.”
He grabs my wrists in his hand. “You can’t do what?”
“I can’t pretend like all of this is fine. I can’t plot your demise when I’m aching to see you again. Checkmate, you won. You fucking won. Are you happy now?”
“Not even close.” He spins me around and I fall backwards on the bed. He’s on top of me, his body covering mine. My robe falls open at the bottom and his erection presses against my thighs.
I can feel myself crumbling.
My skin flushes coming alive under the friction of his clothes.
Two weeks. It’s been two damn empty weeks without him.
I’m aching to be filled again and only Levi can make that happen.
My fingers fist in his T-shirt. I don’t know if it’s to bring him closer or to push him away.
“How can I win when I’ve been losing to you since the beginning, princess?” There’s a strange vulnerability in his eyes that hits me in the chest. “Do you know how I spent the past two weeks without you?”
“I don’t want to know.”
“Too bad because you wi
ll.”
He flips me around and I gasp when I end up on my hands and knees — very trembling hands and knees. I can’t process what’s happening when his hard body covers mine from behind and his lips find the lobe of my ear. He runs his tongue over the shell and makes a trail down my neck.
A shiver covers my skin and a zap of pleasure trickles down my thighs. Oh. God. Just one touch and I’m a helpless fool.
“No, Levi… don’t… I can’t do this anymore. Stop.”
“Do you think I don’t want to stop?” He growls in my ear as he yanks the robe down my arms and tosses it away.
“I’ve been debating against who and what I am for two damn weeks and guess what?” A zipper sounds from behind me, and I swallow audibly.
“W-what?”
“I can’t win when I’ve already abdicated, princess.”
I throw a glance over my shoulder and suck in a breath. He’s all too hard. His abs, his thighs, and his cock.
A full-body shudder goes through me.
I want him inside me.
No. I need him inside me.
I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever have this reaction to someone else other than him.
When I’m near him, it’s both frightening and exciting. Even though I know there’s a dark abyss ahead, I keep walking to it all the same.
It’s crazy. It’s reckless. But it’s ours.
Levi and I haven’t started as a fairy tale and I know it won’t be a fairy tale ending, but I still crave what we have.
My breath still catches in my throat and my heart tries to beat out of my chest.
How can I feel this strongly for a monster?
He grips one of my hips harshly. “I see you but I don’t touch you. I hear you but I can’t speak to you. You drove me fucking crazy.”
“Good.” I lean into his hand, rocking against his thigh. “Because you made me crazy for a while now.”
Levi releases my hip and stuffs his index and middle finger into my mouth. I suck on his skin as I keep riding his thigh. I’m probably making a sticky mess on his muscles, but I don’t stop.
I can’t.
He doesn’t seem to mind. If anything, he drags his thigh against my sensitive folds faster, making me frantic.