by Chrissy Jaye
I stood, shoving my chair back and left the room without a word. I didn’t have it in me to go another round with him right now. I was tired and so close to my breaking point; I feared what I might do. Then whatever friendships my brother had here would be ruined. I would be okay with that, but something told me Octavian wouldn’t.
Chapter 7
After leaving the table, I’d gone up the stairs and opened every door until I found Vian’s room, grateful I hadn’t been followed by Flynn or the sounds of people shouting. It made for a nice change. I knew I found the right room when I smelled his shitty comforting cologne. A mixture of Old Spice and his natural scent. If that hadn’t given it away, the room also screamed Vian. It was painted in his favorite color, sunburst orange, with posters of bands I knew he liked.
Brooke came in and sat down next to me, Liam quickly followed, sprawling out next to me on my other side. He laced one of his hands with mine which drew my attention away from an Arctic Monkeys poster I’d been boring holes in for the past five minutes. My eyes widened, completely put off by how touchy-feely he was, but he just smirked at me with a deal with it look that made me roll my eyes. I’d talk to Vian later about his roommates and my need for personal space. If I was being honest with myself—and I rarely was—I could feel the spark between our clasped hands. I was energized just having him close to me. At least he wasn’t playing with my fingers, because I didn’t know what I would do if there was any more friction between us.
“You alright?” Brooke asked.
“I’m good. Just tired,” I answered, surprised that it was actually the truth. I was good.
“Vian will be up in a few, it’s his night to help with the dishes,” she sighed down at me. “So, you have probably about ten minutes to tell me some silly stories about you guys growing up.”
I giggled—probably because I was mentally exhausted—and tried to think of something good, but not too personal. “Hmmm…. First tooth or swiss cheese?” I asked them thoughtfully. Both stories were equally hilarious.
Brooke’s eyes lit up as a smile took over her face. She was already pretty, but when she smiled, she was stunning. A twinge of jealousy shot through me, but I pushed it away. I didn’t like being a vain person.
“I’m gonna go with first tooth,” Liam decided, smirking at me. Butterflies erupted in my stomach and I forgot what I was thinking about. His lips completely fascinated me. My gaze flickered up to his eyes and I saw the heat in them. Oh my god… I’d been openly staring at his mouth.
“Don’t listen to her,” Vian said from the door. “She lies.” He glared at me, but I welcomed his attention. A distraction from my traitorous thoughts about Liam was more than welcome. I giggled again, unable to keep it in and mentally kicked myself. I couldn’t remember another time where I’d giggled like a fool.
“That’s not fair!” Brooke laughed. “You’ve heard all sorts of stories about us. Now that Liv is here, I want to hear all about young Octavian.” She smacked my thigh with the back of her hand. “Let’s hear it.”
I grinned as Vian marched towards us. There was a dark twinkle in his eyes that told me he was enjoying the teasing, but he was going to fully retaliate against it.
“So, it all started when Dad let us watch some movie about the tooth fairy. If you woke up and saw her when she collected your teeth—”
Vian launched himself at me and attempted to cover my mouth without crushing me which only made me laugh harder.
“I will tickle the shit out of you if you don’t stop!” he promised.
Someone grabbed him from behind and hauled him off me. Shouting ensued as Liam wrestled my brother to the bed. Rolling away from them, I continued, “If you saw her, she would murder you. It completely freaked us both out. Then a few weeks later, he lost his first tooth, so he tried to super glue it back in. Instead, he managed to glue half his mouth shut and Mom had to use nail polish remover to get him unstuck.”
Liam and Brooke dissolved into a fit of laughter. I was nearly crying by that time, gasping for breath. Liam let go of Vian and he launched himself at me again, this time pinning my arms down as he tickled my sides.
“You. Are. The. Worst. Twin. Ever.” He panted each word as I struggled to get away from him.
“Help,” I gasped. “Can’t breathe.”
“You’re heartless, Olive.” I giggled some more before he leaned down into my face. “I’ll tell them about your first period.”
“No!” I bucked trying to displace him.
“Oh, that’s just mean, Vi,” Brooke said with mock horror. She’d finally recovered enough and was tugging at his arms.
“What’s going on here?” Lucien asked, striding into the room and surveyed us on the bed.
Ben walked in behind him, seeing us all tangled together and sprinted toward the bed before jumping into the air and landing on top of us. A play fight ensued. Someone grabbed pillows as Lucien joined us and we spent a good fifteen minutes trying to knock each other off the bed. I landed a really good hit to the back of Liam’s head as he took aim at his brother. He turned toward me with a wide grin.
“You’re dead, Kitten,” he said before he shoved me down into the mattress. I waited for the panic to spring forward as his body crushed me, but it didn’t come. The whole situation felt unnatural to me but at the same time, it wasn’t. I wanted these people to include me and be comfortable with me as much as I hated myself for wanting it. With a nervous laugh, I shoved at his face, the only part of him I could reach. My palm covered his mouth as I tried to push him, but he just licked my palm.
“Eww!” I shouted, wiping my palm on his shirt. “You can’t just lick people.”
He sat back and smiled, victorious. “What’s the matter, Kitten? Scared of boy germs?”
I scoffed at him and his stupid nickname for me, shoving him the rest of the way off me. I took the chance to get my breath back and grinned as everyone else continued to play fight. It was the first time in days, hell months really, that I’d enjoyed myself, I realized. Like we were all normal teenagers. Like I’d never suffered. Like I hadn’t just lost my best friend.
My mood shifted and a deep throb of pain settled in my chest. Tears stung my eyes and fell before I could get a handle on myself. Liam noticed first, but within seconds, Vian was gathering me up in his arms and held me against his chest as grief rocked through me.
That was the thing about grief. One moment, you could be fine. And in the next, all the ugliness poured out of you. I’d gone through all of this before. First with losing my parents and then when Octavian and I were separated.
The atmosphere around us grew quiet. I ended up with my head in Brooke’s lap again with Vian rubbing my back. No one said anything as I cried silently. I was too exhausted to do much else. Everyone spread around us on the bed. A large hand stroked my arm. Someone else had my feet in their lap and kneaded them gently.
I wanted everyone to stop touching me, but at the same time, I didn’t. It was a comfort I didn’t feel I deserved. Instead, I just closed my eyes and tried to block their presence from my mind as I dealt with the pain of being alive when my friend wasn’t, and I realized that it didn’t matter that she hadn’t come into my life on accident because I knew that no matter what, Emma had been my best friend through and through.
I wasn’t just grieving for her either. There were years of grief and pain that poured from me in that moment. My ruined childhood. The loss of time with my twin. And the absence of companionship. The fact that for the first time, I could see how I was supposed to be. I’d always ignored it before. I saw the kids in school who laughed easily, free to make friends, to trust completely and told myself that it just wasn’t who I was meant to be, but here with these people, I could see just how much I had been lying to myself.
“What happens tomorrow?” I finally managed to ask, working to distract myself. Anything to try and claw my way back out of that dismal pit again.
“Tomorrow, we’ll visit the council physician
to get a physical and to get you into the network,” Ben answered smoothly.
“Don’t get him started,” Flynn groaned.
My eyes popped open at the sound of his voice to find him lying on the end of the bed. I hadn’t heard him come in and I was shocked to see him. He smiled at me with an unreadable look in his eye. I almost—almost—drew my feet away from him, but just bit my lip instead.
“He’s not wrong,” Brooke said with a small giggle. “Ben can talk your ear off about science.”
“So, if I want to fall asleep, just ask him to talk. Got it,” I quipped.
“I’m hurt. She’s wounded me,” Ben said seriously.
I lifted my head to find him sitting against the wall with Kieran. Looked like we were all piled into Vian’s bed. Not that it was hard. All the beds I’d seen were huge. Still, we were tightly packed together.
“I was kidding,” I told him. “I’m sorry for wounding you.”
“Oh,” he replied, a ghost of a smile on his lips. “I do like science though.”
“And Disney,” Lucien supplied, giving Ben a fond look as his blonde hair fell forward into his face. He raked his fingers through it before smiling in my direction. “He’s strange, but we keep him anyway.”
I laughed as the last of my tension left me and found myself staring at the long line of his neck and how it moved when he talked as he relaxed back against his brother. “That is a bit weird but meh, if he’s happy, I say let him be.”
Flynn snorted and we shared a grin before I caught myself.
Fuck. No. I didn’t like him. Why was I smiling at him? I closed my eyes again and lay my head back in Brooke’s lap. She resumed combing my hair with her fingers.
“Lucien, I’ve decided to ban you from her hair. I’m claiming it,” Brooke announced.
I flew into a sitting position. “What?” I squeaked. Since when was my hair claimable? No one was claiming it. I could take care of my own hair just fine.
“That’s not fair. She should get to decide which of us has rights. Not you,” Lucien exclaimed.
What the hell? My eyebrows shot up as I looked between them with horror. “No one is claiming my hair. And no one is cutting it except a professional. Just going to state that right now.”
Several of the guys snickered and I glared at them. Lucien smiled and pulled a wallet from his back pocket. He opened it and dug around for a second before handing me a card.
It was a beautician’s license. Fuck me.
“No,” I said firmly, handing it back. His smile fell, making me feel terrible. He was really beautiful when he smiled. My stomach clench and instinctively, I reached forward to touch his arm. I pulled myself back at the last second, surprised by the action. “I… I’ll think about it, but I get final say on what happens to it.” I pointed a finger between them, making it plain that I was not joking on this matter.
“Good luck with that,” Vian said quietly. I grimaced at him as I propped myself up, not liking how quiet the room had grown. Lucien was looking away from me, but I saw a tightness in his eyes. At the end of the bed, Flynn looked like he was ready to murder me but that wasn’t anything new. Even Ben’s jaw was tight and clenched. I couldn’t see the others faces since most of them were laying down or turned away from my position, but the tension of their bodies made it clear something was wrong. What had I done?
“I’m going to sleep,” I hedged, feeling like I should apologize but not knowing what to say sorry for. I somehow maneuvered myself out of the bed and was halfway across the room before someone caught my arm. I turned to see Flynn’s hand on my forearm.
“Where?” he asked calmly, his blue eyes staring into mine.
“Umm, Brooke’s room?” I asked, uncertain by the sudden change in his demeanor. His mood shifts were unnerving.
He nodded and let go. “We should have your room ready in a few days. We weren’t prepared yet,” he said, matter of fact, though he shrugged his shoulders. My arm felt cold without his hand on it anymore and I trembled with the effort not to grab him to bring his warmth back. Then his words registered, and I was blinking.
For some reason, I really hadn’t thought about having my own space here. I knew before the beginning of summer that I was going to live with my brother. Living here with seven other people was staring me in the face and I was completely unprepared.
I nodded after a deep sigh. “Alright. Thanks.”
Chapter 8
“Ugg, Luc—Sugar, it’s too early,” Brooke’s voice woke me as light from the hallway streamed through the open door. “Seriously, Lucien. Scram. We’ll be out in a bit.”
“She barely ate and we’re going to be busy most of the day,” he called softly from across the room.
I hit the pillow next to me with a moan of frustration. Sleep was the only thing I cared about in that moment and Lucien was ruining it.
“Good job,” Brooke sighed. “You woke her.”
Lucien scoffed at her and the bed shift under me before her lap jerked. Something thudded on the other side of the room.
“Wench. You hit me in the face,” he snapped followed by the door closing.
“Okay, now that Sugs is gone, we need to get you up. You do need to eat,” she told me with a pat. I grunted at her, not confirming or denying what she said. She could try to boss me around but there were only a few things that could have gotten me out of the bed. When I didn’t move, she smacked me on the ass. “Up, woman. We have a council to please and shopping to do.”
“I’m up,” I groaned as the light clicked on, making me wince, but also trying not to laugh. It would only encourage her. Make it easier for her to hurt me later when she lost interest in being my friend.
That’s what usually happened with people. With the exception of Payton and Emma. Thinking about them made me a bit bitter though, knowing what I did now. At some point, I wanted to call Payton, even though she’d lied to me. I’d have to borrow a phone though. None of my belongings seemed to make the trip.
“Good. You can use my bathroom again. Just knock first if you don’t want to catch Ben in the nude. We share,” she said, breaking into my thoughts, already hurrying around her room like a tornado.
I sneered at her in disgust. “How are you so awake, it’s unnatural.”
“It’s a gift. Not a morning person, I take it?”
“I don’t really sleep well most nights,” I replied quietly as I rolled out of the bed and looked around. “I have to say, I’m surprised the rest of the brood isn’t in here,” I remarked. Brooke had warned me before we fell asleep that I should not be surprised if we had extra company in the morning. Apparently sharing beds was not an issue around here, even though everyone had their own room.
“We’re called a Circle,” Brooke said absently as she stripped out of her pajamas. I admired her figure, still not moving from the bed. It made me even more self-conscious about my own body. I was small, barely above five feet tall and thin as a rail with barely anything resembling curves to speak of. Paired with my scars, I was like teen Skipper after one of my younger foster sisters had mutilated her. With a sigh at my dark thoughts, I heaved myself up from the bed.
“Why not a coven?” I asked, going back to our conversation.
“Because we’re not magic. And they’re actually sort of gross.”
“What?” I asked. “How are they gross?”
“They’re all into using body fluids and animal parts.” She paused, scrunching up her nose. “I mean, we use herbs and such for tinctures and whatnot, but everything else we do is science. Perfectly natural. What they do is perverse. Not that all witches are bad. Just…gross.” She paused again to smear clear gloss across her lips. “Plus, all their witchcraft comes with nasty costs for using what doesn’t belong to them.”
“None of that makes sense. Except for the animal parts stuff. That does sound gross,” I replied. I shuddered just thinking about all that implied. I decided to change the subject. “So, how much of a fool did I make out of myself,
you know, with the random breakdown and all?”
“Oh, that’s nothing. There were way worse meltdowns when we lost Emma’s sister.”
I stopped short. “I didn’t know she…” My throat grew tight again.
“It was a long time ago,” Brooke replied, not meeting my eyes. “Let’s go eat before the nag is back. The guys will want to drive into town. I mean, I could drive us myself, but without you having any training, everyone has gone into protective mode. I know you value your independence and I want to encourage that, but until things settle, the guys and I want to operate as a unit.” I met her eyes nodding that I understood her reasons.
“Plus, if it was just the two of us walking in, it would be like inviting people to talk to us. Everyone in town is going to be insanely curious about you.” She sat on the end of her bed and pulled on a pair of flats before throwing her head back to laugh. “So Vian said you’d be crazy about privacy and while the guys and I are trying to respect that, I can promise you, the rest of the community is not going to abide by it. You’ll learn pretty quickly that touching strangers here isn’t uncommon. Everyone likes to let the energy flow. Plus, horrible gossips.”
“So, I shouldn’t punch some old man in the face if he grabs my ass?” I quipped.
“I mean, you can, but it won’t just be old men. We’ve got biddies like the rest of the world,” she fired back. “Oh, and I should tell you, most of them hit back,” she tacked on with a small laugh.
I sighed. Great.
Pausing at the bathroom door, I debated whether I should knock or not. It didn’t sound like anyone was in there, but I wasn’t sure. I started thinking about how I would feel if someone walked in on me and knocked on the door. No one answered and I breathed a sigh of relief before pushing it open.
I rushed through getting ready, using my finger to brush my teeth and borrowing a comb from Brooke to tame my wild hair before braiding it. She waited calmly for me as I grimaced over my wardrobe choices. All of them were extremely girly. There was a disturbing amount of pink and purple in the bag of leftovers Brooke had given me. I finally decided on a dress, only because it was green, and because it looked sturdy. It fell just below my knees, but it had sleeves and covered my nonexistent cleavage.