by Alexa Hart
“Goodnight, Kane,” I say.
As I close my eyes, I pray to God he can’t hear how breathless I am just saying his name.
Chapter 12
Kane
That first night, I barely slept a fucking wink. It didn’t help that I woke up with a hard-on and her cute little ass pressed up against me, completely oblivious to her torturing me with her body. I mean, she was fucking cuddling with me in her sleep and her mouth was a little cupid bow that was as tantalizing as it had been the night before when I’d helped her out off her wedding dress. Even though I swore off the goody-goody types, I might even have made an exception for her then, she was that fucking hot, except we’re stuck together for as long as this goddamn custody battle takes, and I won’t mess that up no matter what. Women who want more from me than I can give don’t last long around me and I need this to work. I can’t lose Maddie. And no temptation, no matter how creamy skinned and innocent, is going to get me to give in.
That said, these last few weeks since she moved in have been a particularly brutal form of torture. Problem number one, her sexy fucking sleeping. Problem number two, Summer likes skirts, not tight and short and showing everything all at once, but the kind that gives you just enough to imagine, hell, to know, those legs would feel amazing wrapped around your waist and that her ass would fit perfectly in your hands. She likes heels too, and thin silk tops that outline and curve her perfect breasts. Maddie told me her nickname used to be “the librarian” because she was so shy. And when she wears the glasses, which I love, she looks like the sexiest, hottest little librarian I’ve ever seen, a fantasy I didn’t know I had until now. Problem three, and this shouldn't be a problem, but it is, she’s great with Maddie too. The fact that they get along so well just adds insult to the injury of her insanely hot, pert body. Julie is still gorgeous, but the way she treats Maddie makes her ugly as sin to me. I’ve never once been tempted to make the same mistakes as when I first met her. But Summer wakes up early to make Maddie breakfast and take her to school, then spends her days at the bakery and Maddie joins her after school to help out. I pick them both up and bring them home and Maddie is positively lit up with happiness. We have dinner together. The whole thing is good. Summer makes things good. And that is fucking dangerous as hell.
Because of this, I’ve been going out every night, doing overtime, hell, double overtime, just to keep myself away when Summer is around. Danny Marino is thrilled, since I’ve collected a few debts we’ve been letting slide for years because the folks have been in hiding--but I’ve needed the chase, now that Summer’s supplying the adrenaline. If she’s sound asleep when I get home that is the only way I can manage to climb into bed and not touch her. If she knows she ends up spooning me every night she doesn’t say. Since it’s her violating the contract and not me, I’ll be damned if I’m going to tell her. Some forms of torture are worth it, though if this keeps up, I’ll need to break those wedding vows of mine with someone for some relief. Even though they’re fake and nothing in the contract says we can’t, I still feel like shit about it. Like it’s cheating. And the one I want is Summer.
The other problem? She’s also taken to decorating the house. She bought what she described as a “throw pillow” and some rugs. She says the caseworker won’t believe our act unless she warms the place up a bit. The caseworker will be coming in a few days and the first visit will just be Summer and me, then Maddie will join later. I feel bad asking Maddie to lie, but she knows that sometimes we have to. To protect ourselves and what we love. Like every time I look at Summer as she walks around my house working hard to keep Maddie safe and I have to pretend I don’t want to throw her over the closest chair and fuck her senseless I pat myself on the back for being such an epic liar.
Only, I can’t remember exactly what I’m trying to protect in those moments. Her, or me?
Chapter 13
Summer
The last few weeks have been a new form of hell. First, Kane has been avoiding me ever since the night he first brought me home. I don’t blame him. I woke up that first morning and I had shoved my butt up against him like a...well, not in a way that anyone would describe as prissy, that’s for sure. And every night it’s been like that. My body is just...drawn to his. And while during the day I can usually manage to steer clear of him and his magnetic body, at night my body does what my brain has been talking me out of. So much for the contract! I’m the one that’s breaking it! He must hate it because he’s been coming home later and later and sometimes sleeping on the couch in front of the television instead of even coming up to bed. I don’t blame him. And the whole thing is humiliating. The only positive of this whole crazy situation is Maddie. She’s really blossomed at the bakery. She and Poppy, the teenager with the iPhone addiction, run the counter and I’ve been baking in the back. We’ve already seen a big uptick in customers and Angelo hasn’t been around. Rudy will be home from the hospital in a few weeks and how I’ll explain all this to him, I’m not sure. I’ve been avoiding Becca’s texts and video calls too. When she finds out what I’ve done, she’ll fly back from England just to murder me, I’m sure of it. I’m finding denial to be a really useful method of coping these days.
Even today begins like every other past day of Kane and I going through the same excruciating routine of attraction and avoidance. I wake up to myself grinding on Kane’s body and sneak out of bed humiliated and embarrassed before he can wake up to catch me. I take a very cold shower to regain my senses. I make Maddie and I breakfast then walk Maddie to school and after that, I head to the bakery. Maddie comes to the bakery after school and we stay until Kane comes to get us at 5. I make dinner and then Kane usually leaves again for work. I go to bed and wake up when he comes home. I pretend I am not awake because I don’t want him to know how much his body makes me hyper-aware of his presence and how much better I sleep with him near me. Yeah, not something I want to share with the guy who spends all his energy avoiding me and thinks I’m a stuck-up snob. But tonight, when he tiptoes into the dark room just past three a.m., something is different.
His usual routine is to come into the room, strip down and climb into bed. Tonight, he seems to be struggling taking off his shirt. I hear him swear under his breath. He sounds, well, in pain. I don’t know what comes over me, a common theme when I am around him, but I know I can’t stand the sound of him hurting. I turn on the light next to the bed and sit up. I’m still wearing his old t-shirt.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
He turns around and I can see that he is not okay. He’s got a nasty cut down his upper arm and he’s holding his wadded-up shirt against it to stop the bleeding.
“Oh, my God,” I say.
“Shh,” he growls. “Don’t wake Maddie.”
I go over to him and look at the wound more closely. It’s deep but I don’t think he needs stitches. “Do you have a first aid kit?” I ask.
He nods. “In the closet.”
I go over and pull the blue kit from the closet. I sit down on the edge of the bed and signal for him to sit next to me. He hesitates and I feel my blood boil.
“I won’t bite,” I say.
“Too bad,” he says, sitting next to me. Something about the injury makes him more relaxed around me, like the pain makes him forget he’s trying to be cold.
I take some antiseptic and clean the wound with some gauze. He flinches and I chuckle. “Didn’t realize you were such a big baby,” I say.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t realize you were such a terrible nurse.”
I shove him playfully and he smiles.
“What happened to you anyway?” I ask.
“Workplace hazard,” he shrugs.
“This happens a lot?” I ask.
“Like I said, workplace hazard.”
“You should find a new job,” I say.
“This is the only job I’m good at, Princess. Not all of us were valedictorians.”
I peel off a large bandage and place it over the cleaned wound. I
pat it once kind of hard with my hand.
“Ow,” he says, laughing.
“Sorry,” I shrug. “I was a good student and a bad, bad nurse.”
I go to pat him again, playfully, but to my surprise, he takes my arm with his hand and pulls me in close to him.
“You’re driving me crazy, you know that?” He says, his face nuzzling near my ear.
I shake my head. He pulls me just a little and I land, easily, cradled in his lap. I squirm a little at the sudden surprise of being on top of him and he groans.
“Fuck, Summer,” he says. “You have no idea how hot you are.”
“Maybe…” I say, feeling a little dizzy from his confession that I do have an effect on him, and the feeling of his erection beneath me. “Maybe you could show me?”
“What about the contract?” he says.
“I think this qualifies as necessary contact,” I say, quietly and shyly.
Kane pulls me closer, crushing my chest against his, and he is kissing me. The kisses are deep, but unlike me, he seems to be keeping some small amount of control as he explores my mouth with his tongue and teases our lips against each other in longer, more gasp-inducing kisses. I feel his hands move up the back of my t-shirt then around my ribs until he is cupping my naked breasts under the fabric, nipples hard and tight in his strong hands. I groan into his mouth as we kiss and he pinches my nipples, twisting them between his thumb and index finger. I’ve never felt pain like that, pain that made my entire body ache in pleasure. He takes one hand from my breast, and runs it through my hair, pulling me closer to his mouth. I’ve never kissed anyone like this. I move one leg so I am straddling him and I can feel his erection underneath the thin, damp film of my panties. He pulls my shirt off over my head and drops his mouth to my breast, taking one of my nipples into his mouth and teasing it with his teeth and tongue.
“You feel so good,” I say breathlessly. I need to feel his mouth on every part of my body. I need to feel him inside me. His cock feels amazing under me and I ache for the heat of him to be inside me.
He licks my nipple and then traces his lips up so they are nearly touching mine. “You feel pretty fucking amazing yourself,” he chuckles.
He kisses me hard and rough, my lips swollen from the lust of his touch. I rock against him and I think I might orgasm just like this, still in my damp panties. God, if this is what it feels like, why did I not do it sooner. But even as I think it, I know, it’s because it’s Kane that it feels this good.
I rub against his bulging cock and moan. “I just….I need to tell you one, teensy, small thing,” I say.
“I’m all ears, Princess,” he says as he kisses my neck and rocks me back and forth on his erection. “But make it quick. We have a busy night ahead.”
“I’m a….” I look into his eyes and he pauses. This isn’t easy for me, but I know someone like Kane will have expectations. And I don’t want to be a disappointment. I take a deep breath. “I’m a virgin. So just, don’t expect much...er...expertise.”
“You’re a virgin?” he asks. He drops his hands slowly from my body.
“I mean,” I cover my now exposed breasts with my hands, feeling suddenly vulnerable. “It’s not like that’s a big deal,” I say.
He picks me up and places me next to him. He runs his hands through his hair. “It’s a very big fucking deal, Summer!” He says harshly. “Get dressed,” he orders as he tosses my shirt at me, stands up and heads out the door, slamming it on his way out. A minute later I hear the shower running and I wait for him to at least come back to bed. But instead he heads down the stairs and I hear the front door open and close. I pull the blanket up over my body. I don’t understand what just happened. He had seemed so interested. I mean, I could feel his interest rubbing hard and needy against my body and his very interested mouth on my lips, my nipples. I shudder. Once again, I basically threw myself at him and he must think it wouldn’t be any good with someone so inexperienced and young. Or was he worried I’d think I needed it to mean something? Becca always said saving my virginity would make it too big a deal.
I pull the pillow over my head. I want to smother the truth bubbling underneath my internal interrogation. Because I have always wanted losing my virginity to mean something, and for a brief moment when he had his hands in my hair and his tongue deliciously intertwined with mine, I had felt something deeper, truer, than lust. He was right to run. I was starting to forget that all this was fake.
As I finally start to fall asleep, I wonder how I’ll ever face him again.
Chapter 14
Kane
I go the bar and get good and drunk.
I mean, a virgin. A fucking actual virgin. She hadn’t felt like it, not for one second when she was rocking against my cock and kissing like she’d been born to tease a man into submission. I cannot believe I married a fucking virgin! I should have asked Trixie. At least the two of us could have had a little fun. Sure, Danny would have been pissed, but he’d have forgiven me. And sure, Trixie doesn’t look so much like a princess that no caseworker in the world would ever suggest Maddie not stay with us over Julie and her ice-cold parents, but at least I wouldn’t be in this mess. Because I have never wanted a woman more, and I have never known how much I shouldn’t have one. If Summer is a virgin it’s because she’s chosen to be. No way she hasn’t been lusted after plenty of times before, and probably by boys in loafers and khakis with cushy bank accounts, so she’s the one calling the shots. I don’t know why she’s been waiting, but I imagine it doesn’t have to do with finding prince charming in the guise of one busted-up single dad ready to lose his mind over her lush, soft body. And that’s what nearly happened. God, I really felt like I was going to lose my mind cupping her breasts, soft and pale and luscious in my hands, and hearing her gasping desperate need.
I finish the glass of whiskey at the bar in frustration. If I can’t get her out of my head I’m going to need more than cold showers to survive the next few months. I picture her back at the house, sexy as hell, and probably pretty pissed, and worse, disappointed that I am not coming back. But I can’t give her what she wants, which is some fairytale. My dick aches at the thought of her and I scan the bar. A little blonde number in a low-hanging halter-top winks at me. I order another drink and ignore the blonde.
Fuck, this is going to be a long few months until I’m free of her. And I’m starting to worry that I don’t want freedom either. And that scares me shitless.
Chapter 15
Summer
After our little incident the other night, Kane seems to double down on the avoidance technique. But the morning of our appointment with the caseworker, he can’t leave. Honestly, I thought having him avoid me was bad, but watching him pace around the house like a trapped bear is way worse. And I know he’s worried. Harry has made it clear that this caseworker has a lot of sway.
“Here,” I say. I baked cookies for the case worker’s arrival, and I slide one onto a plate. “Sit down and eat this. You’ll ruin the new rugs if you wear holes in them from pacing.”
He frowns but begrudgingly sits down.
I hand him the plate. “Maddie told me when she and I first met that you have a sweet tooth, but you never eat my treats,” I say. “It’s giving me a complex.”
He laughs and takes the cookie. “It’s not that I don’t want to,” he says. “I’m just afraid once I start, I won’t be able to stop.” We look at each other and all I can think of, despite the week in between, is that night. The doorbell rings and he sets the uneaten cookie down. I’m really starting to hate that doorbell.
The caseworker is a middle-aged woman named Doris. She wears a pantsuit and looks tired and perennially overworked as I open the door and usher her into the house. Kane’s nerves are rubbing off on me, and I start to feel a little nervous about the whole thing myself. I’m not exactly famous for my lying skills. Kane must be able to tell because he takes my hand and holds it in his own as we give her a tour of the house. I know it’s prob
ably more for show, our contract did state public affection when necessary, and nothing is more necessary than impressing Doris, but it has the side effect of making both of us feel calmer. Like we really are a team. She seems pleased with everything. She even compliments the throw pillows and I give Kane an arched, I-told-you-so, eyebrow. She also stops and looks at the swear jar on the mantle.
“What’s this?” she asks.
“Um...it’s a swear jar,” I say. “We had one growing up. When someone swears you have to put a dollar in the jar. When it’s full, you go out to eat or buy someone a gift. It’s silly, really…”
Kane squeezes my hand. “Not silly,” he says. “Though Summer puts a lot less in there than I do.”
Doris looks from the jar to us and then jots something down in her little notebook.
“You know, on paper you two are a bit of a surprising pair. How did you meet?”
“She threw a cookie tin at me,” he says. “It was love at first strike.”
“That’s not the answer I was expecting,” Doris says. She’s smiling though. Kane is good at charming just about any woman if he wants to. I wish he’d want to charm me. He motions for Doris to sit down on the couch and he sits across from her. He tugs me down gently and puts his arm around me. “The thing is, when she threw it, she thought she was protecting Maddie from a stranger and anyone who’ll look out for Maddie that way...well, she’s worth holding on to.”
“Maddie’s special,” I say to Doris. “You’ll see that when you meet her next time. She’s got that light in her eyes, and she’s super smart. And that’s all because Kane’s taken such good care of her. She’s lucky. Lucky to be that loved.”
I say the words with full conviction. The more time I spend with Kane and Maddie, the surer I am he is the one who should take care of her, even if he does have a dangerous lifestyle.