by Alexa Hart
“Where’d your dad go?” I ask, trying not to sound too curious or hurt.
“Dunno,” Maddie pours a cup of chocolate chips into a mixer. “Do you want me to call him?”
“No, no!” I try to act nonchalant. “I guess we’ll see him when he picks us up later, right?”
Maddie shakes her head. “It’s Friday, remember? I’ve got a sleepover at Andrea’s so her mom is picking me up here at six? Dad said he won’t come back tonight since you don’t need him for anything.”
“Oh, yeah,” I smile, feeling a little deflated. So he did only really hang around for Maddie. He’s protective, I get that, but I thought maybe….
“You okay?” Maddie asks, looking at me with her smart, inquisitive eyes.
“Great!” I say and I shrug off the disappointment of Kane’s disappearing act. This is Maddie’s first big sleepover and she’s been super excited since getting the invitation last week. “I’ll bake you all something special!”
Maddie fishes a piece of paper out of her pocket. “I thought you’d say that! So here, Andrea ranked her favorites from what you’ve been packing in my lunch!”
I laugh. “Okay. She’s got excellent taste. Marshmallow chocolate chip bars. We’ll do those next. Now,” I toss her an apron. “We’d better get baking!”
Chapter 17
Summer
After Andrea’s mom picks up Maddie, I send Poppy home. Poppy had plans to see a movie with friends so I offer to stay and close up solo. I’m dreading going back to Kane’s house without Maddie there and Kane probably off with some woman like Trixie, who Maddie says has wanted to marry her dad “forever”, some woman that has the skills to give Kane what he wants. I finish cleaning up the place and turn off the lights in the front area. I head back into the kitchen and pull my phone out. I look up Peter’s number. It’s Friday night, most girls my age are going out to a bar or a date or a club or something. I know it’s messed up, but I don’t want any of those things. I want to be at home with Kane and Maddie. Still, I can’t sit here in the dark bakery and wallow. I flip off the main lights and take a deep breath. Then I put the phone up to my ear.
As the call goes to voicemail I leave my message. “Hi, Peter, it’s Summer from La Florentina. I was calling to see if you’d, um, like to have dinner sometime?”
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
I jump in fright. Kane is standing in shadow at the kitchen entry and he looks livid.
I glare at him. He scared me half to death. “None of your business,” I say. “What are you doing here?”
“I came for you,” he says.
My heart skips a beat, but I shake my head. “You don’t need to protect me.”
“Like hell I don’t,” Kane stalks toward me and takes the phone out of my hand. “Now, call him back and cancel,” he says.
“Why?”
“Because you are married to me!” He says, frustrated.
I take my phone back and shove it in my pocket. “Nothing in the contract says I can’t fool around. I’m sure you do.” I say.
“Excuse me?” He freezes. He backs me up against the table and he looks so overcome with anger and frustration I really don’t know what to think. He’s standing over me, so close that I can feel his body against mine. I can only make out the dim shadow of his face from the streetlights. I want very badly to run my hands under his shirt, to feel his body against mine. I do want him to protect me. I hate the way I feel.
I sigh and try to push him gently back. “Listen, this thing between us...it’s fake and we won over the caseworker. Nothing in the contract says we have to be faithful. I’ll be discreet. And the marriage isn’t real. I want something real,” I say.
Instead of pushing him away, I just rest my arms against him. “I want to belong to someone.”
I think for a moment, he’s going to pull away, but then I hear a shuddering breath. I look up and his jaw is tense. “It can’t be that guy,” he says.
“Why not?” I say. “Tell me why not?”
“Because ...You belong to me,” he says. And then, swiftly and with a sudden rush of heat, he crushes me to him and kisses me. I rope my arms around him and meet his passion. This time, I know, I won’t let him stop. This time I don’t think even he can make himself stop.
He pushes my ass up so that I teeter at the edge of the table, my skirt riding up to my thighs.
I place my hands on the table to brace myself as he leans into my body. His hands are rough as they tighten around me and tug me closer to him. Then he’s crushing me to his lips and my legs are tight around his waist. He unbuttons my blouse and roughly tugs down the cups of my bra, squeezing and pinching my taut nipples. His kisses become deeper, longer, and his tongue is as rough as his hands as he rubs my nipples into tight, hard buds. I peel his shirt off, lowering my mouth to lick and tease his chest, following the contours of his tattoos. He reaches his hands down and cups my ass harder, lifting me at an angle just enough to grind himself into my soaked panties. I moan with pleasure. The friction is delicious and I want him. All of him. And I don’t care about the ramifications. With one hand still firmly lifting up my ass, his other hand slides my panties down so that my skirt, riding high up on my thighs, and my pushed down bra are all that I am wearing. He moves to bring his fingers down to enter me, but I stop him. I reach out and begin to unzip his pants, releasing the massive erection swelling beneath his jeans. I kiss him slowly as I lower the zipper and tug down his underwear, running my hands over his exposed, rock-hard cock. I see his hesitation again, his concern over my virginity, but this time I lean in, pressing my body against him. “I belong to you,” I say.
With that, he leans me back on the table and gently, gently slides himself into me. For a moment the tightness of it makes me bite back a cry of pain, but as he moves back and forth, my back arched and moving to meet his movements, the pain melts into pleasure. He lifts my ass up and leans me back just a little and I feel him deeper inside me. His cock is so hard and the pressure of him inside me is amazing.
“That’s it, baby,” he says. “You’re so fucking wet for me.” As he leans forward he begins to thrust harder, seeing the pleasure on my face. I pull myself up and wrap my arms around him, my breasts pushed hard against his chest as he uses his strong arms on my hips to move me up and down in a slow, wet, torturous rhythm. I bite my lip and I hear him groan as we move together against the table.
“You don’t know what that does to me,” he says as he kisses the indent in my lip where I had just bitten down. He kisses my neck and finds my mouth again, crushing it with his own. I writhe and rock against him and the warmth building in my body is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. I feel my hips roll and clench in pleasure against Kane’s every thrust. He’s got one hand rubbing my nipple and the feeling is exquisite. He reaches around and cups my ass hard, parting my cheeks so that his cock can push into me even deeper and I cry out, wanting more. I wrap my arms around his neck, lifting my hips up and down as he holds my ass, squeezing my pussy around his cock in exquisite, tight pulses. He’s breathing hard, watching me with a hunger that only makes me moan more every time he thrusts into me. He’s right, I do belong to him, but as he moves faster and faster, barely able to contain his need as he fucks me, I have a sense that he might belong to me too. He lowers me down on the table, and I lay back. I brace the sides of the table as he grabs both my hips and raises them up higher and off the table. He’s slamming into me now, the table rocking beneath us. I shudder and cry out with an unfathomable pleasure and as if my orgasm gives him permission to finally lose all control, a moment later he’s thrusting faster, his hands digging into my hips, his breathing heavy and erratic and then shuddering to a sudden, ecstatic climax himself.
“Fuck,” he says as he lifts me gently back to sitting and kisses my forehead gently. “That was amazing,” he looks almost sheepish.
“Hmm,” I say. I lean into his body and smile into his neck. “I can’t believe we haven’t
been doing that this entire time. It seems a waste,” I lean up and kiss him. The kiss starts playfully but turns needy and urgent until I again feel his erection growing between us. He turns me roughly around and leans me against the table so he is behind me. He runs his hand across my back and teases his cock against my bare ass. I let out a little gasp of pleasure.
“I guess we’ll need to make up for lost time,” he says.
Chapter 18
Summer
After that, things between Kane and I change, in a delicious way. It’s like Kane and I decide to enjoy the illusion, so much so that it’s hard to know where the fake marriage ends and the real relationship, or whatever it is, begins. We belong to each other; we just don’t talk about what that means after the contract is over. When we don’t have to be married anymore, what then? But instead of working it out, we avoid it. Instead, for the next month, we make love almost every night, and every day after I take Maddie to school. I had joked that I had a lot to catch up on now that I knew how good it was, but Kane didn’t take much convincing, and I get the feeling he can’t keep his hands off me even if he wants to. And he isn’t sleeping on the couch anymore. He’s always in bed with me, his leg or arm tossed over me in protective ownership and his mouth nuzzling in my neck. I hadn’t realized how alone I’d really felt until I wasn’t alone. But it isn’t that I have someone. It’s that I have him. As much as I want to convince myself I just enjoy this strange, sexy break from reality, it doesn’t always feel like that. It feels as real as anything, or like the first real thing in a long time.
Kane isn’t just done avoiding me in the bedroom either. He’s still quiet, but he’s around. He wakes up early, helps Maddie and I in the kitchen, watches movies with us, spends all his extra time at the bakery helping me out with repairs. He and Maddie are teaching me how to play poker and Maddie takes both Kane and I for all we are worth. We even take the swear jar, which thanks to the ways Kane drives me crazy in bed was basically full to the top from me, and we go out for pizza like a real family—since Maddie insists that Chicago deep dish pizza is the best type of pizza in the whole entire world. She isn’t wrong.
The morning after the pizza, I don’t feel well. I stay in and Kane takes Maddie to school and offers to go to the bakery and help get things going until Poppy comes in after school. After he’s gone, I throw up a couple of times and feel sure I’d gotten food poisoning. Becca texts me and I feel like I can’t avoid her anymore. I also feel like I need her. The contract is going to be up pretty soon, and I don’t know what I’m going to do.
“You look awful,” Becca says as we video chat.
“Gee, I missed you too,” I say. “And I have food poisoning.”
“Bummer. Now,” she says. “Tell me why you’ve been avoiding me.”
I take a deep breath and then hold up my left hand, wiggling my ring finger in front of the camera lens. That’s the other thing, I’ve stopped taking it off. I still haven’t told Rudy anything except that I found a solution to Angelo’s problem, but I will.
“What the holy hell?!” She screeches so loudly I think I’d hear her from England even if we weren’t on the phone.
“It’s not what you think,” I say. “Now are you sitting down? Preferably with a glass of wine?”
An hour later, I’ve told her everything. She is stunned silent, which is saying a lot for my chatty bestie.
Becca blinks at me. “Oh, Summer,” she smiles coyly. “You’ve gone and fallen in love!”
“You aren’t mad?”
“No! You’re having a way bigger adventure in Chicago than I thought.”
“I’m still sorry I ditched our plans.”
“I wasn’t mad because of the plans. I was mad because I wanted you to finally stop trying to be someone who doesn’t cause trouble and is perfect and safe and just be free to live your life.”
“That’s not….”
Becca shakes her head. “I know you. I know you were always afraid of being abandoned. But it sounds like you found someone who makes you feel safe.”
I nod. Then I feel my stomach lurch again. “I think I have to go puke again. Remind me to never overeat deep dish pizza again.”
Becca is quiet for a moment. “Summer, is there a chance it isn’t food poisoning?”
I am silent.
“You already thought about that, didn’t you?” She asks quietly.
I nod. “Only the first time, we didn’t use protection. So it’s possible. The problem is,” I say. “It should be freaking me out, right?”
“But?” she asks.
“I think it would be okay if it wasn’t food poisoning,” I say quietly. “I want a family with him. I want this marriage to be real. Becca, does that make me crazy?”
“Yes,” she says. “But that’s love, Summer. Love makes even valedictorians crazy.”
Chapter 19
Summer
A few days later, I buy a pregnancy test and confirm what Becca suspected. I am pregnant. There are many emotions I thought I would feel at this moment, panic being one of them. But somehow, maybe because I have so loved taking care of Maddie, or because I am back in Chicago helping with my family bakery, or because I like the little home we have made these past few months, I am not scared. Unsure, nervous, and oddly excited, yes. I always wanted to raise a family. And I think it’s also because this is a baby Kane and I made together. I can’t deny that even though I was trying to make myself believe I was detached and understanding of this being a fake marriage, I’ve obviously been lying to myself. My only hope is that Kane has been lying to himself too. I decide to wait until after his birthday to tell him, just in case, and because I am scared, not of having a baby, but of being wrong about Kane and what he wants. I’m not ready to face that reality head-on.
Kane’s birthday arrives and I pick Maddie up from school early so we can go home and make the cake she’s been wanting to make for him since we first met on that bus. On the way home though, we hear a whimper in an alley and stop. In a discarded box near a dumpster is a small dirty puppy caught up in string.
“Oh my gosh,” Maddie says as I gently and carefully untangle the puppy. He whimpers and licks my fingers, instantly attached to me for rescuing him. Maddie picks him up before I can stop her. “We have to keep him.”
“Keep him?” I say. “We need to take him to a shelter.”
“No way!” The puppy whimpers in adorable agreement in Maddie’s arms.
I frown. There is no way Kane wants a puppy, but I also don’t even know where we would take him without going home and making a few calls. And we can’t just leave him. “We’ll bring him home for a few hours and feed him, just until I figure out what to do,” I say. “But then he goes to a shelter. Okay?”
“Okay,” she says. “But when Daddy sees him, he won’t be able to say no!”
We bring the puppy home and Maddie feeds him a little deli meat and peanut butter. The puppy, exhausted from the rescue, curls up on a little blanket while Maddie and I work diligently on a three-layer devil’s food chocolate cake with caramel icing. It seems fitting that Kane’s favorite cake is devil’s food. Maddie insists we cover the top with M&Ms and sprinkles, and the cake is a chocolate lover’s fantasy when it’s all said and done. He’s late coming home so I text him. The puppy wakes up and Maddie takes him out back for a little playtime. I can see letting her bring the puppy home was a mistake. She’s really attached already and it’s going to make taking the puppy to the shelter that much worse tomorrow. But I smile. I kind of agree with Maddie that Kane is actually a pretty big softie and once he sees Maddie and the puppy together, I wonder if he’ll really say no. I place my hand on my stomach. I hope he doesn’t say no.
When Kane gets home, Maddie is upstairs playing with the puppy in her room and he comes into the kitchen as I am guiltily licking the knife from frosting the cake. He takes the knife and spins me around, giving me a deep, bone-shaking kiss. He’s got a few cuts on his face and I pretend not to see them, not
to see how his job is about hurting people and being hurt. I put my hands up over his eyes.
“It’s bad luck to see the cake before the birthday song,” I say.
He lifts me up and shoves me against the fridge. He tugs my hands down and kisses me again. “I don’t think that’s how the saying goes,” he says.
“I should warn you about something,” I say, wanting to bring up the puppy.
“I know ...you're dangerous,” he nibbles at my neck as if I am the dessert. I feel my body react and I wrap one of my legs around him as he pushes against me. We both hear the footsteps upstairs and pull apart. He brushes a strand of loose hair back from my face. “To be continued, Princess,” he says.
“Daddy!” Maddie calls out. “You’re home late!”
“Sorry!” Kane opens the fridge and grabs a beer. “But you know I wouldn’t miss my own party!” He yells back.
“I’ll be right down,” Maddie says. “I’ve got the best gift ever!!!”
I know for a fact Maddie got her father a new toolbox for his birthday since I helped her pick it out, but I have a sinking suspicion that she isn’t referring to that.
“I think Maddie might be up to something….”
He looks at me and arches his eyebrows. “Definitely up to something,” he agrees.
I have a gift for Kane too, and framed photo of the three of us taken at the wedding. I feel a little unsure if I should give it to him, but then he looks at me and smiles as he sips his beer and I feel, well, like the picture isn’t a lie. Like he’d like seeing us all together on that fateful day as much as I do.
We hear Maddie plodding down the stairs. She sneaks a peek around the corner. “Let’s sing the song, now, okay?” She winks at me. I light the candles on the cake and we sing Happy Birthday while Maddie comes in with a large box. It isn’t wrapped and it’s got holes in the top. When she places it on the counter as Kane blows out his candles, I hear the box yap.