Clarimonde

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by Théophile Gautier

confess to my shame that I had entirely forgotten the advice of theAbbe Serapion and the sacred office wherewith I had been invested. I hadfallen without resistance, and at the first assault. I had not evenmade the least effort to repel the tempter. The fresh coolness ofClarimonde's skin penetrated my own, and I felt voluptuous tremors passover my whole body. Poor child! in spite of all I saw afterward, I canhardly yet believe she was a demon; at least she had no appearanceof being such, and never did Satan so skilfully conceal his claws andhorns. She had drawn her feet up beneath her, and squatted down on theedge of the couch in an attitude full of negligent coquetry. From timeto time she passed her little hand through my hair and twisted it intocurls, as though trying how a new style of wearing it would become myface. I abandoned myself to her hands with the most guilty pleasure,while she accompanied her gentle play with the prettiest prattle. Themost remarkable fact was that I felt no astonishment whatever at soextraordinary ah adventure, and as in dreams one finds no difficultyin accepting the most fantastic events as simple facts, so all thesecircumstances seemed to me perfectly natural in themselves.

  'I loved thee long ere I saw thee, dear Romuald, and sought theeeverywhere. Thou wast my dream, and I first saw thee in the church atthe fatal moment. I said at once, "It is he!" I gave thee a look intowhich I threw all the love I ever had, all the love I now have, allthe love I shall ever have for thee--a look that would have damned acardinal or brought a king to his knees at my feet in view of all hiscourt. Thou remainedst unmoved, preferring thy God to me!

  'Ah, how jealous I am of that God whom thou didst love and still lovestmore than me!

  'Woe is me, unhappy one that I am! I can never have thy heart all tomyself, I whom thou didst recall to life with a kiss--dead Clarimonde,who for thy sake bursts asunder the gates of the tomb, and comes toconsecrate to thee a life which she has resumed only to make theehappy!'

  All her words were accompanied with the most impassioned caresses, whichbewildered my sense and my reason to such an extent, that I did not fearto utter a frightful blasphemy for the sake of consoling her, and todeclare that I loved her as much as God.

  Her eyes rekindled and shone like chrysoprases. 'In truth?--in verytruth?--as much as God!' she cried, flinging her beautiful arms aroundme. 'Since it is so, thou wilt come with me; thou wilt follow mewhithersoever I desire. Thou wilt cast away thy ugly black habit. Thoushalt be the proudest and most envied of cavaliers; thou shalt be mylover! To be the acknowledged lover of Clarimonde, who has refusedeven a Pope! That will be something to feel proud of. Ah, the fair,unspeakably happy existence, the beautiful golden life we shall livetogether! And when shall we depart, my fair sir?'

  'To-morrow! To-morrow!' I cried in my delirium.

  'To-morrow, then, so let it be!' she answered. 'In the meanwhile I shallhave opportunity to change my toilet, for this is a little too lightand in nowise suited for a voyage. I must also forthwith notify allmy friends who believe me dead, and mourn for me as deeply as they arecapable of doing. The money, the dresses, the carriages--all will beready. I shall call for thee at this same hour. Adieu, dear heart!' Andshe lightly touched my forehead with her lips. The lamp went out, thecurtains closed again, and all became dark; a leaden, dreamless sleepfell on me and held me unconscious until the morning following.

  I awoke later than usual, and the recollection of this singularadventure troubled me during the whole day. I finally persuaded myselfthat it was a mere vapour of my heated imagination. Nevertheless itssensations had been so vivid that it was difficult to persuade myselfthat they were not real, and it was not without some presentiment ofwhat was going to happen that I got into bed at last, after havingprayed God to drive far from me all thoughts of evil, and to protect thechastity of my slumber.

  I soon fell into a deep sleep, and my dream was continued. The curtainsagain parted, and I beheld Clarimonde, not as on the former occasion,pale in her pale winding-sheet, with the violets of death upon hercheeks, but gay, sprightly, jaunty, in a superb travelling-dress ofgreen velvet, trimmed with gold lace, and looped up on either side toallow a glimpse of satin petticoat. Her blond hair escaped in thickringlets from beneath a broad black felt hat, decorated with whitefeathers whimsically twisted into various shapes. In one hand she held alittle riding-whip terminated by a golden whistle. She tapped me lightlywith it, and exclaimed: 'Well, my fine sleeper, is this the way youmake your preparations? I thought I would find you up and dressed. Arisequickly, we have no time to lose.'

  I leaped out of bed at once.

  'Come, dress yourself, and let us go,' she continued, pointing toa little package she had brought with her. 'The horses are becomingimpatient of delay and champing their bits at the door. We ought to havebeen by this time at least ten leagues distant from here.'

  I dressed myself hurriedly, and she handed me the articles of apparelherself one by one, bursting into laughter from time to time at myawkwardness, as she explained to me the use of a garment when I had madea mistake. She hurriedly arranged my hair, and this done, held upbefore me a little pocket-mirror of Venetian crystal, rimmed with silverfiligree-work, and playfully asked: 'How dost find thyself now? Wiltengage me for thy valet de chambre?'

  I was no longer the same person, and I could not even recognise myself.I resembled my former self no more than a finished statue resemblesa block of stone. My old face seemed but a coarse daub of the onereflected in the mirror. I was handsome, and my vanity was sensiblytickled by the metamorphosis.

  That elegant apparel, that richly embroidered vest had made of mea totally different personage, and I marvelled at the power oftransformation owned by a few yards of cloth cut after a certainpattern. The spirit of my costume penetrated my very skin and within tenminutes more I had become something of a coxcomb.

  In order to feel more at ease in my new attire, I took several turnsup and down the room. Clari-monde watched me with an air of maternalpleasure, and appeared well satisfied with her work. 'Come, enough ofthis child's play! Let us start, Romuald, dear. We have far to go, andwe may not get there in time.' She took my hand and led me forth. Allthe doors opened before her at a touch, and we passed by the dog withoutawaking him.

  At the gate we found Margheritone waiting, the same swarthy groom whohad once before been my-escort. He held the bridles of three horses, allblack like those which bore us to the castle--one for me, one for him,one for Clarimonde. Those horses must have been Spanish genets born ofmares fecundated by a zephyr, for they were fleet as the wind itself,and the moon, which had just risen at our departure to light us on theway, rolled over the sky like a wheel detached from her own chariot. Webeheld her on the right leaping from tree to tree, and putting herselfout of breath in the effort to keep up with us. Soon we came upona level plain where, hard by a clump of trees, a carriage with fourvigorous horses awaited us. We entered it, and the postillions urgedtheir animals into a mad gallop. I had one arm around Clarimonde'swaist, and one of her hands clasped in mine; her head leaned upon myshoulder, and I felt her bosom, half bare, lightly pressing againstmy arm. I had never known such intense happiness. In that hour I hadforgotten everything, and I no more remembered having ever been a priestthan I remembered what I had been doing in my mother's womb, so greatwas the fascination which the evil spirit exerted upon me. From thatnight my nature seemed in some sort to have become halved, and therewere two men within me, neither of whom knew the other. At one moment Ibelieved myself a priest who dreamed nightly that he was a gentleman, atanother that I was a gentleman who dreamed he was a priest. I couldno longer distinguish the dream from the reality, nor could I discoverwhere the reality began or where ended the dream. The exquisiteyoung lord and libertine railed at the priest, the priest loathed thedissolute habits of the young lord. Two spirals entangled and confoundedthe one with the other, yet never touching, would afford a fairrepresentation of this bicephalic life which I lived. Despite thestrange character of my condition, I do not believe that I everinclined, even for a moment, to madness. I always retained with extremevivid
ness all the perceptions of my two lives. Only there was one absurdfact which I could not explain to myself--namely, that the consciousnessof the same individuality existed in two men so opposite in character.It was an anomaly for which I could not account--whether I believedmyself to be the cure of the little village of C------, or _Il SignorRomualdo_, the titled lover of Clarimonde.

  Be that as it may, I lived, at least I believed that I lived, in Venice.I have never been able to discover rightly how much of illusion and howmuch of reality there was in this fantastic adventure. We dwelt in agreat palace on the Canaleio, filled with frescoes and statues, andcontaining two Titians in the noblest style of the great master, whichwere hung in Clarimonde's chamber. It was a palace well worthy of aking. We had each our gondola, our _barcarolli_ in family livery,our music hall, and our special poet. Clarimonde always

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