by Londyn Skye
Today, Lily’s lie to William was thirst. As far as William knew, she had gone into the kitchen to pour herself some water. Instead of filling a glass, though, she was filling her eyes with the view on the other side of the window, where James and another man were carrying a large piece of plywood.
“Now I see why you were so thirsty,” William teased, startling Lily, after he had quietly peered over her shoulder and saw why she was pasted to the window in a wide-eyed trance.
“Oh my God! Williaaam!” Lily smiled sheepishly. She then buried her face in her hands to hide cheeks that had flushed red with embarrassment. William put his arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder as they laughed.
Moments after William and Lily headed back to the library, James stepped inside for a drink. He walked around the corner to see why the pair were giggling like school children, but they had returned to the song they were working on by the time he peeked in on them. James stood there recalling how Lily had sat looking dejected at his mother’s piano just a few weeks prior, her tears coursing down onto the keys. Her emotional transition since then now made James the one who felt a need to shed a tear. James noticed that Lily always had a smile on her face whenever she was playing alongside her new mentor. He could hear the immense joy in her voice each time she spoke about the new ideas that she and William were considering for the show. Just hearing Lily’s constant laughter as of late had made James’s journey to find William so worth it. Her extreme jubilance made every blistering hot day and every aching muscle James endured while building her stage worth it as well. Her excitement fueled his strength to work from sunup to sundown. James was willing to do anything to see to it that this happy side of Lily never vanished again. And as James stood there secretly watching William interact with Lily now, he was convinced that William, too, would always go above and beyond to contribute to her joy.
“Thank you, William,” James whispered softly, still peeking around the corner as Lily played with her smile firmly in place. James’s words of gratitude were for the way that William treated Lily more like his daughter than just an ordinary friend. James felt forever in William’s debt for allowing Lily to experience that sort of special affection for the first time in her life.
Ironically, though, the fatherly love and affection that William showered Lily with had assisted in creating a problem. Lily was living in a bubble of isolation, surrounded by people whose eyes did not seem to see in color. The warmth exuded from those around her began to give her a false sense of reality about how she might be perceived during the show. But she was soon about to be placed in a situation that would quickly readjust her perspective.
For the past few weeks, the student orchestra had worked separately on the pieces that Lily had written. Today, though, they arrived at William’s home for their first rehearsal together. Lily had greeted them all at the door with enthusiasm, but the student’s reception was nowhere near as warm. They chose not to shake her hand nor even give their names after she introduced herself. They left her standing in the foyer feeling foolish, quickly reminding her of how people from the outside world truly viewed her.
While waiting for William to return home from running an errand, Lily and the students all gathered in the library. They all sat quietly surrounding Lily at the piano like she was their prey. To Lily, their eyes felt like cold shards of ice burrowing holes into her skin, making the climate in the room feel like winter in the midst of the warm spring weather. However, when William finally arrived, their demeanors changed. Like a sergeant walking into the barracks of his misbehaving soldiers, William’s presence instantly cured their nasty attitudes. From then on, the students all worked cooperatively for an hour or so. But the frigid winter conditions returned when William was called away briefly to tend to an issue in the house.
“Alright everybody,” Lily commanded. “While William’s out, let’s just go ova’ bar two on the third page right quick.”
“We don’t take no goddamn orda’s from nigga’s,” Austin said, glaring at Lily while he twirled his timpani baton.
Lily just turned and stared back at the arrogant percussionist. She had already accepted that none of the student orchestra liked her, but she was hoping that they would all just continue to do as they had been paid to do … in silence. She was already overwhelmed with show preparations, and she was not in the mood to deal with anyone’s abhorrent behavior.
When Austin did not get the reaction out of Lily that he wanted, he continued pestering her. “I rememba’ you from the fundraisin’ gala, sittin’ in here mimicin’ Mr. Well’s music like the little monkey you are.”
Lily looked Austin up and down and scoffed. In her opinion, there was something about him that reeked of the need to feel superior over someone … anyone. But Lily felt an equal need to let Austin know that that someone would not be her, not now … not ever. She decided right then and there that she would not tolerate any disrespect from him, or anyone else in their group, without defending herself, despite any consequences.
“That was reeeal original.” Lily squinted her eyes at Austin. “I bet you proud ‘a yo’self for that one, ain’t ya’? Go on and give yo’self a pat on the back, and when you’re done, turn to page three,” she demanded, her words briefly revealing the strong woman Lily truly was inside. Her true self had peeked through the crack in the cloak of meekness society had forced her to wear.
Lily’s words instantly roused Austin from his cocky relaxed stance against the timpani. He stood tall with his chest out, ready to fire back. “Just ’cause y’ur workin’ with someone like William, you think you can talk to a white man any kinda way now, do ya’?!”
Lily refused to respond, but Austin was relentless.
“How is it y’ur payin’ William to teach ya’ anyway, huh? You know you ain’t got no goddamn money. So, go on and tell us…” Austin looked at Lily with scathing eyes and stepped closer. “Just how many times did you have to get down on y’ur knees and wrap those nigga’ lips around William’s cock to earn y’ur way?” he smirked.
Lily lowered her eyelids, rose from the piano bench, and fearlessly took two steps toward Austin too. “Far fewa’ times than it’s taken you to run through this song without messin’ it up for everybody,” she said, pure ice in her tone. Everybody in the room began to snicker at how slyly she had exposed the truth about him being their weakest link. He was the main reason they had been stuck rehearsing the same song for the last hour.
Lily’s response wiped the smirk clean off Austin’s face. “What the hell are all ‘a y’all laughin’ at?!” he fired at his bandmates. His face was red, and his hands suddenly gripped his batons tight. He and Lily stared each other down until William and James entered seconds later and instantly restored civility to the situation. William seemed oblivious to the climate in the room, but James immediately sensed the chill.
It had become James’s routine to spend his lunch break in the library watching Lily and William rehearse together. Lily’s childlike effervescence always refueled his energy. But with the presence of the orchestra, the stark change in Lily’s demeanor was draining him instead. Sweat began to bead on James’s forehead when he noticed that Lily’s laughter no longer enveloped the room. The smile he looked forward to seeing was missing. Even the way Lily played her music told him immediately that something was wrong. When James read the expression on her face, his stomach clenched, and he set his plate aside, suddenly no longer interested in his meal. After continuing to watch for a while, the sick feeling in his stomach began to fester, until he could no longer handle sitting idly by. “Lily!?” he suddenly snapped. The way he barked her name caused everyone in the room to stop playing and turn in his direction. “Can I see you for a minute?”
Lily nervously looked around and then over at James. “Yessa’,” she replied.
James cringed every time Lily referred to him as “sir,” but even more so when she said it in front of others. For the moment, though, he did not correct her use
of the word. He was too busy staring at the way she briefly locked eyes with Austin before she headed out into the hallway. Though brief as it was, their exchange spoke volumes to James. He glared at the troublemaking percussionist with questioning eyes as he held the door open for Lily and then stepped out into the hallway with her.
“Lily, what is it?” James asked her after closing the double doors.
“What do you mean?”
“Somethin’s botherin’ you. I ain’t seen you like this in days. Now, tell me what the hell’s goin’ on in there.”
“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” She folded her arms up and looked away as she told her lie. “Ain’t nothin’ botherin’ me.” Her body language and the way she turned away confessed otherwise.
Even before Lily’s silent confession, though, James was convinced that it was the percussionist who had upset her. But he was only partially right. It had not been Austin’s words that directly affected her. Lily suddenly had the realization that Austin’s thoughts would reflect the sea of people she was soon to sit centerstage in front of. Austin’s words and actions had quickly forced her to remember that not everybody would be as warm as William. The whole ordeal made her realize that she somehow had to strengthen herself emotionally to prepare for the judgment and ridicule that were sure to go hand in hand with such a huge undertaking. The negative effect of that emotional preparation was written all over her face and was very easily read by James as he sat in the library. It was even more obvious to him now while standing only feet away from her. “You’re not bein’ forthcomin’,” he said to her. “I know somethin’ or someone is botherin’ you!”
“I’m tellin’ you the truth. I’m fine!”
“Are you sure? Because it doesn’t look that way to me.”
Lily thought for a moment to tell him her troubles, but with all that he and William had already done for her, she did not wish to burden them with small things. “I’m just tired is all. We’ve been workin’ awful long hours to prepare.”
“Tired? You’re certain that’s all it is?”
“Yessa’.” She looked up at James and then quickly looked away again. “I-I’m certain,” she lied.
James was ready to set Austin straight, and anybody else, if need be. But he did not press Lily any further for fear of upsetting her even more. “Well, listen, if you feel you need a break, don’t be afraid to speak up, okay?”
“Yessa’. Thank you. I promise I will.”
“Good.”
“Well, everyone is waitin’ for me, so I betta’ get on back.”
James nodded, and she proceeded to walk past him.
“And Lily…”
She stopped and turned back around.
“James … Please, I’d really like it if you’d only call me James from now on. No more ‘a this yessa’ and no sa’ nonsense. It’s not necessary, okay?” Although she had dropped the “master” and “sir” from time to time, he wanted to be sure it was permanent.
“Okay, I’ll rememba’ that.” Despite how Lily was feeling inside at that moment, she forced a brief smile in appreciation for another one of James’s wonderful gestures.
Lily’s focus then quickly returned to the fact that she had to walk back into the library and sit amongst the wolves that had devoured her jubilant mood. When she returned, though, she felt an even greater tension in the room than before. Everyone, including William, stopped talking and stared at her. She lingered in the doorway, afraid to ask what she had just walked in on. She somehow knew from the lack of warmth in William’s expression that something was seriously wrong. James walked up behind her just in time for both of them to hear the end of the heated conversation that had just taken place while they were absent.
“Figure it out, William! Or we walk!” Austin left William with those final words before he and the other students began packing their instruments to leave for the day, two hours before rehearsals were due to end. For the few minutes that she had stepped away, Lily’s arch nemesis had finally found the position of superiority he was seeking. Austin had led the charge that caused every member of the orchestra to stomp out of the library. They all glared nastily at Lily on their way out.
“DAMN IT!” William yelled, slamming his hand on his grand piano, causing Lily to jump.
“What the hell just happened in here?!” James asked after everyone had filed out.
William had taken his spectacles off and was vigorously rubbing his eyes to soothe himself. “Lily, do you mind if I speak to James alone for a moment?” he asked, trying to sound like his usual gentle self, but she could easily hear the anger in his tone.
“Please, if you don’t mind, I wanna know what’s goin’ on.”
“Please, I really don’t want to trouble you with such trivial things.”
“I don’t mean to ova’step my boundaries, but judgin’ from what I just seen, it doesn’t seem trivial at all. Please, I’m just as much a part ‘a this as the both ‘a you and I’d really like to know the truth,” she said, wanting to strengthen her mind to the future harshness she was soon to endure.
William realized that Lily was right and that it was not wise to always shelter her from the cruelty of society. So, in honoring her wishes, he began to explain a more subtle version of how he had been blindsided by Austin with news that threatened to put an end to their chances of opening the show during the Spring Extravaganza as scheduled, or perhaps even at all.
“Well, before I even begin, let me apologize to you, Lily. It’s so hard for me to say these things in front of you, but just know that they don’t remotely reflect any of my beliefs.”
“Of course, I know betta’ than that.”
With solemn eyes, William glanced at Lily again and then hung his head. He could not bear to look her in the eyes as he recounted what happened. “Well, if you must know, the students admitted to me that finally being here in the reality of this situation has opened their eyes to what they may be getting themselves into. They said they had not carefully considered all the risks that they were taking by performing with a Negro woman. They don’t feel that any amount of money is worth bringing embarrassment or shame to themselves or their families by playing background to someone who was once enslaved. They told me that I needed to find a way for them to remain anonymous during the performance or that they would take the money I’ve already given them, yet not bother to fulfill the rest of their agreement.” William spoke the whole time shamefully staring down at his desk.
Lily stood across the room expressionless and numb. She tried to repress it, but the feeling of being a burden began to weigh heavily on her again.
William suddenly began pacing around the room, aggravation apparent in his strides. “A symphony is not only about the music!” he erupted. “It’s about the artistry of the instruments and performers dancing and swaying in unison! Taking that away destroys the visual appeal of the show. I know Lily is capable of extraordinary things, but the stage will seem empty and lifeless without the orchestra’s visual participation. How am I to proceed without such a thing?!”
“You paid them! They agreed to this! They can’t back out now!” James spat, anger drenching his tone. “We’ve been advertisin’ for weeks and invitin’ people from all ova’ to see this! We can’t possibly push this back to find a whole new orchestra now! What the hell do they expect us to do?!”
“They’ve asked for us to redesign the stage and possibly create some sort of barrier or simply add a curtain for them to sit behind. Of course, it can be done. But again, a symphony loses its elegance without their visual participation.”
William and James continued to bicker about what to do. James had yet to lower his voice as he spoke of forcing the students to do as they agreed. William, in turn, paced back and forth in frustration, trying not to let the feeling of defeat settle upon him. But the one who should be most upset had calmly walked over to the window. She quietly stared out at the lake in the distance, longing to be near it. Lily wanted t
o stand on its shores and drift into a fantasy world or think back to happy childhood memories, the way the sparkling water always relaxed her enough to do.
“Please, just let ’em be.” Lily’s fragile voice penetrated James and William’s angry banter and brought a sudden peace to the atmosphere in the room. They both ceased their conversation and turned to find Lily with her back to them, still gazing out the window. She did not want to argue with the students, force them, or fight with them as James was suggesting. Pushing against one’s will was something she was painfully familiar with. She wished it on no one, including those who held unnecessary ill will against her. “If that’s the way the students want it, then so be it. But please … please, just let ’em be,” she continued softly. “Besides, I think I have a way to give ’em what they want and still have the kind ‘a show you’re talkin’ about, William.”
William walked over to her, gently turned her toward him, and then held both of her hands. “You need only speak it, and I will see it done.”
“But with only three weeks left, I just don’t know if we could eva’ make it happen.”