by Lara Swann
She’s doing it deliberately.
The thought just makes it hotter.
I stand up before she can turn to go, stepping around the desk and close to her - watching her breath hitch with my nearness before I lean against the desk, running one hand over the skirt and down her ass.
“You’re a tease.” I murmur, pulling her closer into me. “How do you expect me to concentrate on sales figures if you come in like that.”
“Like what?” She arches an eyebrow at me, looking at me with a sparkle in her eyes. “I’m not the one who keeps finding ways to get me all pressed up against him, sir.”
She looks pointedly down at where she’s standing in between my legs, her body tantalizingly close now. My cock pulses as she says ‘sir’ and I groan slightly.
“God, that’s hot.” I grin at her. “I like the way you say that.”
“Pervert.” She mutters, smiling back. “Doesn’t it seem a bit cliche to you - the whole office thing? Fantasizing about having your secretary under the desk…”
“How do you know I’ve been fantasizing about—” I catch the look on her face just as heat rises across mine, and I almost growl as I stand up and pull her into my arms. “Because you’ve been fantasizing about it too.”
She laughs, flushing herself, but her eyes are wide and full of pleasure as I lean down to kiss her.
“Kenneth…” She breathes, her objection swallowed as she sinks into the kiss.
She still looks around when we break apart, at the empty hallways just visible through the half-mast blinds, the way she always does. My office is in a separate space to everyone else - the only people that come down here do so to see me.
She’s still in charge of my schedule - she knows exactly who to expect. But she looks anyway, her pulse rising in her neck, and I know it’s from a combination of the thrill and the fear. The idea someone might see us.
“I wasn’t into the office thing until you, you know.” I murmur, my mouth kissing and nipping at her ear. “I didn’t start having fantasies about my secretary until you become that secretary. But now I can’t stop. It’s all I can think about. Having you bent over my desk…under it…watching you walk around in those…damn…tight…skirts…”
I trail kisses back to her mouth, taking it firmly in mine again and parting her lips with my tongue. Exploring her. Tasting her. Feeling like it’s never going to be enough.
I twist us around so she’s leaning against the desk, pressing her into it with the weight of my body and letting my hands roam over the sexy blouse she’s wearing. It’s got little bees on it, sexy and adorable as I run my hands over her full chest. She’s wearing my favorite lacy white bra - I’ve never seen it, but it’s my favorite because every time I run my hands across her breasts, it’s low enough that I can feel her hard nipples straining to get out - and I groan as I kiss her.
Her hands rise around my neck, holding onto me as she hops onto the desk, her legs spreading to let me stand inside. I pull her ass closer to the edge, the hard bulge of my cock pressing against my slacks and making me long for more, the dark opening of that pencil skirt so inviting…
She catches me looking, one hand drawing my face back to hers as I kiss her again, my hand sliding along her thigh and up into that enticing space. I feel her shudder under me, scooting forward instinctively and making the pencil skirt ride up even higher. My cock pulses again as I lean in, pressing myself up against her, and I can barely believe how hot and ready I feel for her, all the time.
“Kenneth…” She moans slightly and I capture her mouth with mine again. “This is a bad idea.”
“I know.” I say, parting enough to grin at her. “I haven’t made bad decisions in a long time. I’d forgotten how fun they are.”
She laughs and it warms me all the way through, my mouth back on hers in an instant, catching the delicate, beautiful sound of her pleasure as we grind against each other, my hands on her ass pulling her up against me. I dip my head down and kiss and nibble along her neck, the gorgeous smooth skin flushing under my touch.
“This is real, Jessica.” I look back up at her suddenly, the feeling too overwhelming not to say. “I meant everything I said to you that night. This isn’t just a hot fling for me. This is…everything.”
The words tumble out of me and I can feel how intense my gaze is on her face. I need her to know how serious I am.
“This is crazy.” She whispers back, her eyes wide as she takes me in. “We shouldn’t be…”
“I know.” I say, kissing her again anyway. “There are a dozen reasons not to - but I don’t care about any of them. I need you to know that, Jessica. I never gave up on something I wanted just because it was hard - I’m not about to start now.”
I pull her closer toward me, our bodies pressed hard up against each other, unable to help how much I want - how much I need - to feel her. I can’t remember the last time I wanted anything so much.
“Kenneth…”
I can see the hesitation as she looks at me - and it’s more than just this is a bad idea or everything going on around us. I know exactly what it is.
“I know there are things we haven’t talked about, Jessie.” I say softly, my fingers stroking her chin and tilting it up towards me. “We never got to have that coffee date I wanted, you know, or talked about things.”
I can see the fear in her eyes and it’s almost physically painful. I just want to fix it - to heal things and take it all away. I know why it’s there. I know I put it there. It might be the stupidest thing I ever did.
But I’m going to fix it. Whatever it takes.
“We still need to do that.” I say, leaning in to kiss her again, just a soft brush of our lips before I murmur against them. “Let’s go somewhere tomorrow night - get a few drinks. Talk for a little while.”
“I…I don’t…”
“Please.” I say softly, still touching her. Still holding that wide, beautiful gaze. “Will you give it a chance?”
She swallows, a visible movement that I follow with my eyes as I try not to notice the thumping of my heart or the aching uncertainty there.
Please tell me I didn’t screw everything up for good.
“Okay.” She finally whispers, her eyes flicking down so I can’t read them.
I lean forward to kiss her again, everything inside me relaxing with the relief.
“Thank you.”
“But…” She looks at me, some of the shadows still in her gaze - but the desire there too, the same hope that I feel deep inside me. “What…what if…”
What if it doesn’t work.
I know what she’s thinking.
What if she can’t get over it.
I don’t want to think about that. I don’t want to believe it. I can’t.
“We’ll talk.” I repeat, leaning into her again. “We’ll talk until it’s all behind us and we can move forward the way we want to. But there’s no way we’re not going to move forward, Jessie. Whatever I have to do.”
She shudders slightly under me but I can see something in her relax a little too.
“You think?” She asks, and it sounds more vulnerable than I’ve heard her for a long time. Enough that it takes me back to all those years ago.
“I know.” I say, with the same surety that I gave her so long ago. The same reassurance. The same certainty.
For me, there’s no other outcome.
“Okay.” She says again, some of the light coming back to her eyes as she reaches forward to hug me, repeating it with far more conviction in her voice. “Okay. We’ll do that.”
I smile, leaning down to kiss her again.
That’s my girl.
I can see the mental shift in her and even though I don’t have any right to feel it anymore, I can’t help the pride that washes through me.
She’s more resilient than she was.
It’s a bittersweet thought, as I wonder whether some of that is because I made her need to be - after what I did all those years ago.
/>
“Are you going to let me go?” She asks after a moment, giving me a little smile, and I shrug the thought off, bringing my attention back to what’s right in front of me.
I smile back, feeling it become a smirk. “Do I have to?”
“Y—”
I pull her up, lifting her so she’s standing against the desk again, and kiss her deeply. She melts into me and it relaxes some of those lingering concerns, the worry about everything that happened years ago that’s been at the back of my mind for too long. When we’re like this, all that seems a world away - like it can’t possibly affect anything now.
A fantasy I very much want to indulge.
I let my hands wander down her back, tugging the skirt back over her ass and wondering whether it’s too outrageously creased from all of this.
“Kenneth…” There’s laughter in her voice as she tries to wriggle out from my arms. “We really shouldn’t be doing this here.”
“So you’ve said.” I grin at her, glad to hear the ease back in her voice again. Whatever might happen tomorrow, at least it hasn’t disrupted today too much. “But I don’t think you’re going to stop me.”
I advance on her again and she giggles as she tries to protest, looking around at the empty hallways again.
“I told you, no one—”
The sudden ringing of the phone right beside us on the desk startles me - and she jumps apart from me, looking at it guiltily, which only makes me laugh.
“Shit.” She says, despite my obvious amusement. “Your three o’clock. With your lawyer.”
“Mm.” I say, non-committal. I can think of much better things to be doing than talking to Patrick, but I step back from her anyway.
“To discuss that sexual harassment lawsuit.” She says pointedly, glaring at me.
I just laugh, leaning back against the desk as my hand hovers over the phone.
“I might be seeing sexual harassment in a whole different light now.” I wink at her.
“Kenneth!” She says, halfway between outrage and trying to suppress her own laughter. “It’s not a joke.”
I snort. “The whole damn thing has always been a joke…it just took you to make me see the funny side of it.”
“Answer the damn phone, idiot.”
“Yes, Ma’am.” I wink at her as I pick it up, totally missing Patrick’s greeting as I watch her roll her eyes and swivel on her heel, stalking out decisively. My eyes follow her legs and ass the whole time.
“Kenneth?” The voice in my ear repeats - and then the door in front of me mercifully closes.
It doesn’t quite bring my full concentration back to me, but enough that I clear my throat and answer semi-appropriately.
“The other side have finally decided to play ball - just before I was going to petition the judge, too. Looks like they’re not going to fumble as much as we hoped. It’s going all the way.”
“Huh?” I say, still distracted enough that I can’t work out exactly what he’s talking about.
“The witness list came through today.” He says, his tone grim.
I look up at that, the last wisps of fantasy clearing as my focus narrows.
“I’ll send it through now - but Kenneth, you know you can’t do anything, don’t you? That wouldn’t be good right now.”
“I know.” I say, but my voice is hard at the prospect.
Just who the hell is willing to appear in court and spread lies about me in sworn testimony?
He doesn’t say much more - which I’m grateful for, as I’m not sure I would have been in the best place for listening after that announcement - and when it finally comes through, I spend a while sitting in front of my computer looking at the list of names.
I recognize several people who we had to let go over the last couple of years - most in Sales, but not all - and then there are some others I don’t know. Not all of them related to ExVenture, so I’d guess Danielle has character witnesses from other places, though I’ve no idea how that can really be relevant.
The secretary she had here at ExVenture is listed - but since the girl transferred with Danielle to her new place of employment, that’s not too surprising. Galling, and possibly a problem at the trial, but I probably could have guessed she’d back her employer up.
There’s only one that really sticks out at me, though.
Amanda Speed.
She worked as part of Danielle’s sales team - and when Danielle left, she was promoted to co-running that same sales team. I’ve talked to her a dozen times since then. We’ve been in meetings together. We’ve discussed pitches together. We’ve presented to clients.
She’s been in exactly the same environment that Danielle was - the same environments Danielle accused me of sexual harassment within. Not alone, admittedly, because she’s co-running the team with the other lead, Dan, but still…
She’s never said anything. Never given any hint…
And I’ve never once suspected she’d do something like this.
I shake my head, my gaze fixated on that name for a long time.
I don’t understand it. I’m not sure I ever will.
I think about it for a long time, before I realize I’m not even angry.
I’d expected to be. I’d thought this list would send me into a flying rage or something.
Instead, I’m a little surprised, a little sad and a little resigned. But nothing more.
I glance at the closed door to my office, considering that, and my mind drifts toward drinks with Jessica tomorrow and what I’m going to say to her - the same things I’ve been thinking about all week.
I look at her name again - Amanda Speed, who would’ve thought it - before I realize that it doesn’t really matter that much. Not the lawsuit, and not Amanda.
There are more important things to think about.
Chapter Eighteen
Jessica
I spend far too long trying to decide what to wear to work the next day.
What kind of outfit is right for both work and an after work ‘talk’ that might be a date with the ex you’re kind-of-seeing again?
None, that’s what. Absolutely nothing I own works for all that. I’m not sure there’s anything in the world that would.
In the end, I settle for my first choice of a cute baby pink blouse and my typical black pencil skirt. Not the extra short one that I bought on a whim at the weekend. The perfectly respectable, no-ulterior-motives one I bought before I even started this job.
I feel too nervous to want to risk things getting…out of hand…at work today.
Like they have every other day this week.
I know I should have more reasons than just this talk to impose a little control on myself at work - but damn it, after so long spent lusting after him and fantasizing about things I shouldn’t…then that explosive night together, can you blame me?
When Kenneth is right there in front of me. Being his impossibly hot self. Smiling at me, saying things, that heat in his gaze suggesting…
It makes me groan just thinking about it.
That’s the only possible reason I can give for how wildly irresponsible I’ve been this week - hell, both of us have been this week.
Catching up on the last ten years.
After the mind-blowing sex we had at his house on Friday night, I couldn’t have resisted all those little touches, the kisses we’ve been sneaking in his office and the dirty things he’s suggested, even if I’d wanted to. And I didn’t. Not at all.
Not until today, anyway.
Today, I’m far too on edge to want to be around him for more than a minute at a time. I leave documents in his office when he leaves for meetings, I barely look at him as he walks past my desk and the summaries I give him are so hurried I doubt he hears a word I say.
I can feel him watching me the whole time, obviously aware that I’m being really fucking weird, but he doesn’t say anything about it.
I guess he’s leaving all that until tonight.
Tonight.
/>
Damn. Tonight.
When we…talk.
It’s crazy how much more terrifying the thought of that is than all the kissing and fucking we’ve been doing secretly in his office, sneaking away on lunch breaks or scheduling ‘important meeting’s in his calendar.
I’ve never been this hormone-and-lust driven in my life. Even when I visit Gramps every evening, it’s a struggle to pay attention sometimes, my mind wandering to what I was doing with Kenneth only hours before, or what he might be doing right then, or what we could be doing together. I’d feel bad, except that Gramps is still making progress, and if anything his eyes seem to sparkle even more when he notices my mind drifting. He hasn’t asked anything, thank god, but I have an uneasy feeling it’s only a matter of time.
It doesn’t even compare to when we were sixteen and sneaking away for much the same thing back then, full of teenage excitement and anticipation. I mean, sure, it might be the same activity - but we’re adults now. We have responsibilities - things that are a little more important than turning up for Ms. White’s math test.
We’re breaking all the rules and we really shouldn’t be.
We should care more. We should stop.
We haven’t.
It’s like something else has taken over my body and I’ve forgotten every sensible thing I’ve ever known, all because of him. I tell him over and over again we shouldn’t be doing this, and it’s like agreeing that between ourselves is enough - like that’s all we need to do to feel comfortable enough…to continue.
We’re going to get caught. I know we are. There’s no way we can keep this up and not get caught - but it’s not enough to stop us.
All the reasons aren’t enough to stop us.
But tonight? Well, maybe that will do it.
I’ve refused to let myself think about the past - or the future, or anything at all really. I’ve been running on pure lust and this crazy intense need for him, surrendering to everything my body is craving and telling myself it’s just a physical thing.
The kind of chemistry you only ever read about, that’s all. A simple fling that we’ll burn ourselves out of.