“Do boys need a reason?” Cory asked with a chuckle, which faded quickly at the look on Jordan’s face. “You and your dad had a lot of problems.”
“He was never satisfied with anything I did. No matter how much effort or energy I put into training, it wasn’t enough. But at least if he was harping on me, that kept his focus off my mom. It’s not going to be like that with Ben.” He closed his eyes for a moment, like whatever he was thinking caused him pain. “I don’t know how to be a dad, but I like to think I learned a lot about what not to do.”
“That’s a tough lesson.”
When he looked at her again, he seemed miserable. “Would now be the appropriate time for you to point out how badly I messed up the reunion with my family today? I hadn’t expected being back in that house to hit me the way it did. And then seeing my mom with Ben and how happy she seemed...”
“I’m glad she felt that way,” Cory admitted, trying not to let too much emotion seep into her tone. “I know you aren’t close with her, but maybe Ben can help change that. It’s obvious she loves you.”
He inclined his head. “Is it?”
“Yes. In fact—”
The waitress returned to the table at that moment with plates of food. Cory immediately regretted her choice of a salad instead of fries. The mountain of crispy sweet potatoes on Jordan’s plate looked almost too good to resist.
“Go ahead.” He handed her a ketchup bottle when they were alone again. “I remember that you’re a food thief.”
She wasn’t sure what it meant that he remembered her habit of coveting food the people she was out to eat with ordered. They’d been at any number of team dinners together, but she couldn’t remember ever “borrowing bites,” as she liked to call it, from Jordan. Maybe she had without even thinking about it. She’d certainly tried to sit next to him when she could, because she always had more fun that way.
Her habit had bothered Kade to no end. By the end of their relationship, he seemed to relish pointing out that her inability to stick with the menu item she’d chosen said something about the inherent indecision built into her character.
She bit down on her cheek to hide her grin. “Thief is a harsh word.” Her fingers brushed Jordan’s when she took the ketchup from him, and awareness sparked across her skin. “I like options.”
“The options from other people’s plates,” he countered.
“Sometimes.”
Jordan pushed his plate closer. “Take a fry.”
She tipped her chin and placed the condiment bottle on the table without opening it. “I’m happy with my salad.”
“But you want a fry.”
Her mouth watered as he popped one into his mouth. “So good. Crispy on the outside and fluffy inside, just like a good fry should be.”
“Stop tempting me,” she muttered.
“It’s too much fun.” He forked up a couple of fries and placed them next to her sandwich. “Now I’m going to have my feelings hurt if you don’t eat one.”
She wanted to say no, but they were too much to resist. The fry was indeed done to the perfect golden crispness, with the center remaining light and just the right amount of salt sprinkled on top.
“That a girl,” Jordan coaxed with a smile, placing a few more on her plate. “It was worth giving in, right?”
Cory rolled her eyes. “I still have ten pounds of baby weight to lose. Salads are going to make that happen a lot quicker than fries.”
“You look great.”
“Sorry, I wasn’t fishing for a compliment.” She grabbed the ketchup and dumped a small pool onto her plate. If she was going to enjoy the fries, might as well add her favorite condiment into the mix.
“I know,” Jordan told her, his deep voice once again sending her nerves into overdrive. “It’s true, though. Motherhood agrees with you.”
She tried not to read too much into his words, although she appreciated them. Being a mom wasn’t the most glamorous, and with her grandmother sick on top of everything else, Cory had all but given up on self-care. “Thanks. You’re going to get through your dad’s service. I know it will be hard, but it’s clear your mom is happy to have you here.”
Jordan took a slow sip of the beer he’d ordered. “I haven’t been a very good son to her in the past few years.”
“I saw the way she hugged you, Jordan. She’s just waiting for an invitation back into your life.”
“It’s strange how I can hold on to my bitterness. She never once defended me when my dad was coming down hard or being an overbearing jerk. When I was twelve, I passed out in the middle of a wrestling tournament from dehydration and exhaustion. He got a doctor he knew to give me IV fluids, then put me in for the next match.”
He set the bottle on the table and picked at the edge of the label with his thumbnail. “We were in town, so my mom happened to be there that day. She watched it happen and didn’t say a word. She’d always bring me an ice cream sandwich later in my room. We wouldn’t talk about whatever lecture I’d received or my aches and pains or the way he expected me to play through any injury without complaint. We’d just sit together in the glow of my nightstand light and eat our ice cream. That’s when I felt the closest to her, although now I hate ice cream.”
“No one hates ice cream,” Cory argued gently.
“With the passion of a thousand burning suns.” Jordan chuckled. “His behavior wasn’t her fault, but I couldn’t untangle her from him.”
“Now you have a chance. With your brother, as well.”
“I barely know my brother. My dad and I spent so much time away from the house at games and tournaments and sports camps, it felt like we were two different families living under the same roof.”
“Do you want that to change?”
He was quiet for several seconds before he nodded. “Yes.”
“Then you’ll make it happen.”
“You make it sound easy.”
She shook her head. “I gave up on easy a while ago. But worth it is a different story.” Cory wanted to help him mend the tattered fabric of his bond with his mother. Both for Jordan’s sake and for their son’s.
Chapter Six
The late-winter sun lit a burnished sky the next day as Jordan’s father was buried. It was still hard to believe the old man was gone, and Jordan couldn’t quite shake the feeling of his shadow looming over the ones he’d left behind.
But Jordan had taken Cory’s words to heart and made an effort with both his mom and his brother. He half expected them to rebuff his attempts to make peace. In this case, the prodigal son returning didn’t feel worthy of any type of welcome home.
Instead, they’d shifted to assimilate him without question, as if everything that had come before was simply water under the bridge. He couldn’t imagine it would be that easy to find balance and function better than they had before. But he was so damn grateful to think he might have a chance that he didn’t examine or question their acceptance too closely.
With Cory at his side, he’d even managed to endure a number of awkward conversations with people who knew him as a kid, many of whom wanted to talk about his days in the NFL. Jordan was shocked how many of them had followed his career with avid interest, and he was reminded again of how much he appeared to have given up when he retired.
For him, he’d walked away without a second thought, the love of the game waning so much that staying wasn’t worth it. Not with egocentric, fame-hungry guys like Kade becoming the ones who appeared to be the future of the league. Men who were more interested in being featured in highlight reel videos on the various sports channels each week or the size of a sponsorship payout their agents could negotiate as opposed to playing the game they were supposed to love.
Jordan’s father had urged him to do more advertising and schmoozing with company execs and less enjoying his life on and off the field, only solidifyin
g Jordan’s understanding that he wasn’t a match for the sport any longer.
Since leaving football, he’d gotten into an easy routine of working at the bar and taking advantage of the outdoor recreational activities around Starlight, but Cory and Ben had already changed his focus. If one thing had become clear during this trip, it was that he wanted them in his life. How that would look and whether she’d agree to it were a different matter entirely.
He exhaled a long breath as his mother wrapped him in a tight hug after walking them to the car. It amazed him how well she seemed to be coping with his dad’s death. There were still a few women in the house, friends from book club who’d stayed to help her clean up after the reception that followed the funeral service.
Jordan was glad she wasn’t alone.
“I’ll call you in a couple of days,” he said, pulling back. “If you need anything—”
“Having you here is what I needed.” She patted his cheek, then glanced at Cory, who’d just strapped Ben into his car seat. “And meeting my grandson. You both have given me a reason to smile again.”
“I’m glad, Mom.”
“Now we just need to plan a wedding.”
Jordan heard Cory’s sharp intake of breath and resisted the urge to cringe. He might appreciate the progress he’d made in repairing his relationship with his mother, but he couldn’t deny that the gains were built on a lie. He and Cory weren’t together, and she’d given no indication she wanted a relationship with him.
If he had to guess, he’d say that if not for the promise she’d made to her grandmother, she might not have even told him about his son.
He swallowed back the anger that clogged his throat at the thought. He’d missed the first six months of Ben’s life and supporting his son through the trauma of his heart surgery, but Jordan was determined not to miss anything more.
“We’re taking our time,” he said, not exactly an outright lie. The more of those he could avoid, the better.
“Well, I’ve learned time is precious,” his mother said with a glance at the back seat of the car, where Ben was chewing on his fist. “I’m not losing any more of it. In fact, I’ve made a decision.”
“Okay.” Jordan hoped his smile was encouraging as opposed to apprehensive.
“I’m coming to Starlight.”
Cory made a choking sound next to him, and he purposely widened his smile. “I’d love that, Mom. Let me check the calendar when I get back home—”
“I’ll be there on Friday,” his mother told him with a nod. “I’ve already arranged for Marylou to water my plants.”
Jordan swallowed. “How long are you planning to stay?”
“At least a week. Maybe longer.” His mother reached out a hand and squeezed his arm. “I hope it’s okay. I want to spend time with you and my grandson.” She glanced around Jordan to smile at Cory. “And my future daughter-in-law.”
“I mean...” Jordan searched his mind for an appropriate response. One that didn’t involve him hurting his mom’s feelings. That was the last thing he wanted. Well, maybe not the last. The last thing he wanted was his mother in Starlight for an extended stay.
He could see her eyes begin to dim as he tried and failed to formulate his words. She’d just buried her husband of over three decades. Jordan couldn’t reject her outright, no matter the trouble he was about to get himself into.
“We’d love to have you stay with us.” He pulled Cory closer to him, ignoring her squeak of protest. “Right, honey?”
“Of course,” she murmured, and he was impressed her voice didn’t waver. “We’d love to show you around town, and it would be wonderful for Ben to spend more time with his mimi.”
Kathy’s face brightened. “I can babysit while you two have date nights. I know it’s hard to find time for romance with a little one around.”
“Romance,” Cory repeated, sounding not quite as sure as she had a few moments earlier.
“I promise I won’t be an imposition,” his mom said, then looked over her shoulder. “I should let you all start the drive. The timing is a bit strange, but the book-club ladies and I are having a meeting. They’re such a comfort to me.”
“What book are you reading?” Cory asked, apropos of nothing.
Jordan stared at her. How could she think about anything other than the fact that his mom was coming to town?
“Oh, it’s an amazing personal development book.” Kathy’s gaze darted to Jordan, and she gave a sheepish smile. “Mainly geared toward women. It’s called Me First. The ladies chose it because they figured I needed to learn how to make myself a priority after your father’s death. I spent too much time giving away my power to him.”
And the hits just kept on coming. Jordan had never thought of his mother other than as a helpmate to his dad. He would never have guessed that she possessed the self-realization to want to change and grow. Had that always been a part of her, a piece he’d overlooked because of his own anger?
Cory nodded as if everything coming out of his mom’s mouth made complete sense. Impossible when his world was spinning out of control. “I’ll have to check that out.”
“Yes.” Kathy reached out and squeezed Cory’s hand. “We can have our own mini book club while I’m in Starlight.”
“I’d like that.”
“We need to go,” Jordan said, unable to stand in the front yard of his childhood home and feign things being normal for one more moment.
After another round of hugs from his mom, they got in the car and started toward the highway that led out of town.
He could feel Cory’s assessing gaze on him but kept his eyes firmly on the road. There was no way he could mask the emotions swirling through him, and he wasn’t ready to share them.
“What are we going to do?” she asked after checking on Ben in the back seat.
A quick glance in the rearview mirror showed the baby happily gumming the plastic ring of keys Cory had given him when she put him in the car.
“Apparently,” Jordan grumbled, “you and my mom are going to start your own book club.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cory stiffen. “It sounds like a good book.”
“My mother didn’t do one ounce of self-reflection during my childhood. So now I’m supposed to believe she’s suddenly ready to be enlightened by some pop psychology tome?”
“I think it’s nice she’s trying to grow and change.” Hearing Cory stand up for his mom both annoyed him and made him feel petty because of his irritation. “People can change, you know.”
“Well, it’s the opposite of nice that she’s coming to Starlight and expecting to stay with us.” He flicked a glance in Cory’s direction. “You understand, right?”
“Of course,” she answered tightly. “There is no us.”
“So what are we supposed to do?” He shook his head. “What am I supposed to do? My mom wants to get to know a baby that I’ve just met. She wants to form a relationship with a fiancée that I don’t have.”
“Those are valid points.” Cory turned to him. “We’ll figure it out. It’s figure-outable, just like my grandma always said.”
Jordan blew out a long breath. “I sure hope your grandma knew what she was talking about.”
* * *
Cory stood outside the coffee shop where she and Jordan were scheduled to meet the following day, nerves fluttering through her stomach like a renegade gang of spastic butterflies. After last night at the hotel, she was out of money and options.
They’d spent most of the drive home from Spokane working out how to manage his mom’s visit. In the end, they’d come up with a plan to continue acting like they were a couple. Cory would be introduced in town as his long-distance girlfriend turned fiancée, and she’d stay in that role until his mom left town. She’d spent one final night in the hotel but would move into his house later that afternoon.
In fact, Jordan had suggested they plan their fake engagement to last for a full month. After that, they could break up but remain friends, or at least tell that story to the close-knit community of Starlight.
She’d considered Jordan a friend at one point and wanted him to be more. But she had the feeling he didn’t trust her or her motives at this point. Not that she blamed him. Wives and girlfriends of professional athletes sometimes got a bad rap because of the behavior of a select few. Most of the women Cory had met from the team were nice, although some of them got a little too caught up in the lifestyle.
She told herself that it didn’t matter what he thought of her. Ben was the priority, and this temporary farce would ensure her son spent plenty of time with his father. It was a bonus that Ben would get to know his grandma, as well.
Cory had gotten used to putting the needs of her son above her own. Every time she thought of those first few days in the hospital and the terror of being told he’d need heart surgery, she knew that she could make it through anything as long as her child remained healthy and happy.
So what if her body seemed to be strangely aware of Jordan? Every move he made caught her attention in a way she didn’t want or appreciate. It was going to feel like torture to pretend to be close to him but keep her emotions—and even more so her desire—out of the equation.
But she’d do it for Ben. Anything for her baby.
She balanced him on one hip as she entered Main Street Perk, amazed by the crowd of people filling the café tables in the middle of the afternoon. Clearly the coffee shop was a popular part of Starlight’s downtown business scene. Ben looked around with wide eyes, and she smoothed a hand over the back of his head to ground herself before heading toward the table where Jordan sat near the front of the shop.
His Secret Starlight Baby Page 6