“She doesn’t like flowers?”
Midge laughs. “Not on her cake. She finds them—”
“Gaudy?”
“Yep. And overdone.”
“I see.”
“Don’t worry, if for my birthday you want to buy me a cake that’s shaped as an actual fucking flower, I won’t complain. Just never get me carrot cake or cheesecake.”
I laugh. “Duly noted.”
“Okay, so the place is clean, the decorations are up, and the caterers will be dropping off the food right before they get here, which should be about half an hour after all the guests are supposed to arrive.”
“So, we’re done?”
“Yep, we’re done.”
“Good, because I have plans. Grab your shoes and meet me out back.”
While Midge is in the room, I run to the fridge and grab the sandwiches I pre-made earlier, a couple bottles of water, and then head out back and shove them into the duffel bag I’ve already prepared.
When she comes through the doors, I stretch my hand out to her and sling the strap of the bag over my other shoulder.
“Come on. Magic awaits.”
She rolls her eyes but takes my hand anyway. “What’re you up to?”
“Not much.”
We walk across the yard and toward the old maple trees, cutting through them and getting to the clearing she told me about.
I drop my bag and pull out a blanket to protect her legs from the sharp blades of grass.
“A picnic?” she says, her voice going up an octave with her excitement.
“Nothing fancy. I have some sandwiches, chips, water, and…” I stop, reaching into the bag. “What’s this?”
She gasps, reaching for the box like a child reaching for his favorite toy. “My donuts!”
“Well, save one for me, okay?”
She clutches it to her chest. “Can’t make any promises.”
We enjoy our picnic with the view of the water, and Midge allows me to have two of the six donuts, as we stretch out on the blanket and look up at the sky. She says she’s saving two for later. I don’t argue, because she takes her sweets very seriously.
“Remember when I ate your Reese’s cup, and you wanted to stab me with your pencil?”
Midge laughs, turning to her side to look at me. “Who eats someone’s candy, though? Like, we were just doing homework and you ate my candy.”
“In my defense, I didn’t know it was the last one. It was king-size, for Christ’s sake! I thought I could take one.”
“The last one.”
I chuckle. “I didn’t know.”
“I was saving that particular one for when I was done, and then I go to grab it and it’s gone. You’re lucky you actually didn’t get stabbed.”
After we lay there for a little while, reminiscing about some of our times together when we were kids, we pack everything up and drop it off at the house, then grab the canoe and head out to the water.
“I can see why my parents loved it so much out here,” she says, taking in all the scenery.
“Me too.”
We spend the next hour out in the middle of the water, watching the sun drop lower and lower in the sky.
It’s something I hope we continue to do for years to come. Even if I have to buy a house up here just for us. Just for moments like this.
50
Midge
I’m starting to think my mom was onto something. Maybe this place does have magic, because I’m starting to have urges to spill my guts to Cillian. And by that, I mean I’ve already nearly slipped and told him I love him.
Now I know it’s not hard to believe. I mean, I’ve loved him for a while. Yes, it was as a friend, but doesn’t that make the transition easier? I love Cillian, yes, but now I’m in love with him.
You may ask yourself if there’s a difference. The answer is simple. Fuck yes there’s a difference.
I love London. I love Jon and Daniel. I even love Royce. They are my family by choice. But I’m not in love with them. My heart doesn’t react to them the way it reacts to Cillian. I don’t crave their company the way I crave his. I’m not addicted to their laughter or the way their eyes crinkle in the corners when they smile.
And on top of that, Cillian makes me feel good about myself. He treats me well. I mean, come on, he came over with coloring books, ice cream, and medicine when I was sick and looking and feeling like trash. He took care of me. He makes me laugh and he makes me want more. With him, I can look into the future and not be afraid. I can see a wedding dress and babies. I’ve never thought about that before. In fact, I thought I never wanted it, but with him, I look forward to those things. Because I know that life with him would be fun.
I’ve realized the way I was thinking before was wrong. I was incredibly stupid to ever try to put Cillian in a category with Matthew. Cillian creates his own category. I’m almost positive there’s nobody else like him in the world. I was bitter about my past, but I’ve smartened up, and I want nothing more than to be with him and only him forever and ever.
After a while, we head back to the house and put the canoe away, but we choose to settle in the Adirondack chairs that face the water so we can watch the sky change colors as the sun dips below the horizon.
Cillian reaches over and holds my hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb. I love that with him, we don’t always have to be joking and teasing each other. I love that these quiet moments are just as good. We don’t have to fill the silence, because we’re just as comfortable in the absence of conversation as we are when we’re reminiscing about old times.
He squeezes my hand, stealing my attention. “You seem lost in thought over there.”
I smile. “I guess I was.”
“Anything good?”
“I’m with you, aren’t I?”
His grin spreads across his lips. “So, you’re thinking about me?”
“Yeah. You. Us. Just stuff.”
He gives my hand another gentle squeeze. “Me too.”
“Yeah? Like what?” I shift in my chair to get a good look at his face.
“Oh, lots of things,” he replies with a crooked smile.
“Well, do you want to share?”
His eyes crinkle in the corners as his smile grows. “Do you?”
“I love the way your eyes crinkle when you smile.”
Cillian laughs. “Wasn’t expecting you to say that.”
“I love your laugh, too.”
He continues to watch me with amusement, his smile never faltering. “Keep going.”
“I love being out here with you. I love that we have so much history to look back on and that we’ll never run out of things to talk about, because we’re friends. I love that my parents love you. I love the way you look at me when you’re thinking naughty things.”
We both laugh, and I’m very aware of how often I’m saying the word love.
“I love how close you are with your brothers. I love your talent. I love your kind heart and generous spirit. I love the way you make me feel.” Once it seems like I’ve said too much, I stop, and say, “Now, you go.”
Cillian blows out a long breath, resting his head on the back of the chair as he watches me. Our bodies are facing each other, and our hands are still connected, but his face no longer holds that smile I love so much.
I hold my breath, waiting to hear what he’s going to say. Will he have a long list like me? Maybe he wasn’t thinking as deeply as I was. Maybe he was just thinking about what we’re going to do next weekend.
“I was just thinking about how much I love you.” My eyes widen, my heart smashes against my ribcage, and my stomach tightens. Cillian grins. “It can’t be that big of a surprise, can it?”
I shake my head, sweat pricking my skin. “N-no.”
“God, Midge. I think I’ve always loved you. You’ve been such a good friend to me over the years. I was on the ledge of despair for so long, looking down and wanting nothing more than to plummet to a deep,
dark place where nobody could find me. But you didn’t let that happen. You tied yourself to me and kept me anchored. Stable. I’ll never be able to repay you for that.”
I dab at a tear. “Stop.”
Cillian gets out of his chair and kneels between my legs, grasping my hands. “No, it’s true. You did things for me my brothers weren’t able to. Not at that time. Not when we were all struggling. I’m sad that they didn’t have someone like you in their corner. I know Royce came out with us after a while, and we did things together, but you were always mine. My anchor. My everything.”
He pulls down on the collar of his shirt, and points to a tattoo. Even though it’s dark, I can tell what it is. An anchor.
My heart swells, threatening to burst with emotion, and tears fill my eyes. I’ve never had a man make me cry through sheer happiness.
I trace the ink with my finger as he continues to stare into my eyes.
“On top of all of that, I love you for who you are. I love everything about you, Midge. Your open mind and warm heart. Your selflessness, and the love you have for your friends. I love how you’re unapologetically you. And I love what we have. We’ve had years as friends, and now we get to start a whole different journey as lovers.”
I smile down at him, biting down on my lip to keep it from quivering. I capture his face between my hands and pull him up to plant my lips on his.
“God, I love you.” I kiss him again. “So, so much. I was afraid to say it. I was afraid you’d think it was too soon.”
Cillian pulls away and presses his palm against my cheek. I nuzzle into it and place my hand on his.
“If anything, we took too long.” He drops his hand and grabs mine, pulling me up from the chair. “Come on. Let’s go inside.”
“You got that naughty look in your eye,” I say with a smile.
“I’m thinking very naughty things.”
I giddily follow him into the house, ready for him to show him to show me the types of things he’s thinking.
Epilogue
Midge
“It’s party time!” I yell as soon as my parents have walked in. Everybody else yells Happy Birthday.
“Oh, my God,” my mother cries, her hand going to her mouth.
I mean, she knew there would be a party, but maybe she didn’t think it would be today, or that her friends would travel up here for her. She’s still surprised, so that’s good.
Mom greets a couple of her friends, her eyes darting around the room before she gets to me. She comes in for a hug, but as we’re embracing, she says, “I’m gonna kill you for that sign.”
I laugh. “Happy birthday, Mommy! I love you!”
She snorts and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, baby. This is great. Really.”
Cillian steps up and gives her a hug. “Happy birthday, Mrs. H.”
Mom reciprocates the hug, then steps back and holds onto his hands. “I hear congratulations are in order.”
Cill glances at me with a grin. “It was always bound to happen.”
“I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner,” Mom says. “But I’m happy for you two. Come over for dinner again soon, okay?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Mom smiles at us both, then moves on to greet the other guests.
After everybody eats, we move the party out back since the weather is nice, and Mom starts opening her presents.
“I feel like a six-year old.” She laughs, going through the bags and boxes, and I’m there with a trash bag to collect the wrapping and ribbons.
She thanks her friends, ready to move on, but I stop her.
“Hold on, Mom. We have one more.”
Cillian’s already gone in to set up the three piece painting. When we go inside, he has them leaning against the wall.
I gesture toward them, and my mom stops mid-stride and mid-sentence. Her hand shakes as she brings it to her chest. “Oh my.”
I link my arm with hers and stare down at the exquisite paintings. “I asked Cillian to paint this for you. I know how much this place means to you and Dad, and I know you don’t come up here as often as you’d like, so I wanted you to always have this to look at.”
Dad comes to a stop next to Mom and pulls out a handkerchief. She accepts it and dabs at her eyes. “This is...I have no words. It’s perfect.”
My dad whistles. “Doesn’t look like a painting. You did this?” he asks Cillian.
“Yes, sir,” he answers with a nod and smile.
Mom throws her arms around Cillian and then me. “This is absolutely perfect. Thank you.”
The party goes on for another few hours, and then everybody starts to leave. Some of them plan to stay in the area for the night, others have to go back to Gaspar. I’m just glad my mom has friends that love her enough to make this trip, even if it’s just for five or six hours.
Elijah spends some time talking to my mom before he leaves, and whatever he’s saying has her a little emotional.
“He’s thanking her for being there for us when Mom and Dad died,” Cill says, his arm going around my waist. “He hasn’t seen her in a long time, and he never got the chance to express his gratitude.”
“Aww, that’s nice.”
“Your mom came to our house to talk to him. Did she ever tell you that?”
I shake my head. “No. When? Why?”
“It was back then. She would send over meals and check in. One day I saw her and Elijah in the living room. It was the one time I saw him crying. I think she was offering advice. Being motherly, you know? I snuck away, because it felt like a moment that was meant just for them. I’m not sure what all that conversation entailed, but it was after then that Elijah pulled himself out of his sadness and started really taking care of us and the house.”
“I had no idea.”
Elijah hugs my mom and then heads over to us. “I have to go, but thanks for the invite.”
“Of course,” I say, giving him a hug. “Thanks for making the trip.”
He and Cill hug goodbye, then he moves on to talk to Royce and London. Soon after he leaves, Royce and London do too. Once everybody is gone, my parents head out back, and Cill pulls me into our room.
“I have something for you.”
“It’s not my birthday,” I say. “But I do love presents!” I bounce on the balls of my feet. “What is it?”
Cill disappears into the bathroom then comes out with a twelve by sixteen frame. I arch a brow, but he holds it against his chest, hiding it from me.
“I thought maybe you’d like this.”
He turns the frame around and I see myself. Actually, I see two of me. The picture is done in charcoal, and it’s a replica of the one he did of me ten years ago, but this time, he’s drawn a current depiction of me in front of the older one.
The current me is laughing, my head slightly tossed back and to the side, as if I was looking at someone. My hair is flying every which way, but I look extremely happy. The version of me from ten years ago is a bit similar in that I’m smiling and looking deliriously happy. My lips are parted, my teeth showing, but back then my hair was longer, and I was wearing a hoodie. My dark locks partially cover my face as I hold my hands together under my chin.
“You’ve always been so carefree. Your smile and joy is infectious, and to be around you is to be hypnotized completely. I loved you then and I love you even more so now, and I’ll keep loving you until we’re old and retired, living in one of these houses out here.”
“Cill.” My voice cracks.
“It’s happening, babe. You and me were made for each other. I told you that. You’re not getting rid of me.”
I smile as a lump forms in my throat. “I never want to be rid of you.”
He places the picture on the bed. “Good.”
“I have a question for you,” I say, reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck.
Cillian wraps me in his arms, hugging me tight. “I may have an answer for you.”
“Truth or dare?”
> He chuckles. “Hmm. Dare.”
“I dare you to take me to the nearest hotel and make love to me all night long.”
He picks me up and my legs tighten around his waist. “My lovemaking is likely going to turn into fucking.”
“Mm. Then let’s hurry.”
Cillian throws his head back and laughs. “I fucking love you.”
“And I love fucking you. Let’s go.”
Preview of On the Rocks
Kingston Brothers Number One
Royce
“You break up with your boyfriend for me yet?” I ask London as she wiggles into the barstool across from me.
She purses her pink lips and tilts her head. “Sorry to disappoint,” she answers, placing her wallet down in front of her. “You know what I want.”
I smirk at her. “You know what I want, too.”
She rolls her eyes, but a smile plays on her lips. Her head turns toward the stage where the band is setting up.
“New band?”
“Yep,” I answer, pulling the Johnnie Walker bottle out and then pouring it over ice. “They’re pretty good.”
“Gonna be hard to fill the last band’s shoes,” she says, raising her brows at me.
I chuckle. “Yeah, I’d say so. But we can’t keep doing karaoke every Saturday night. It’s been months of that shit, and the last thing I want to hear is a bunch of drunk asses getting up there and screaming the wrong lyrics into the mic.” I slide her glass over to her. “Black Label. On the rocks.”
“Thanks, Royce.”
I give her a nod and quick smile before moving down a few seats and serving another customer.
It’s only six-thirty, so it’s not too busy yet. The place usually starts filling up around nine, and it doesn’t slow down until about one.
Gaspar is a small town and it isn’t really known for its nightlife, but we get plenty of business throughout the week, regardless. In fact, we’re probably the number one place people choose to spend their time after work or on the weekends.
Truth or Dare (Kingston Brothers Book 2) Page 25