Also by Amelinda Bérubé
The Dark Beneath the Ice
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Books. Change. Lives.
Copyright © 2019 by Amelinda Bérubé
Cover and internal design © 2019 by Sourcebooks
Cover design by Nicole Hower/Sourcebooks
Cover images © Anne Costello/Arcangel, Jessica Roux
Internal design by Danielle McNaughton/Sourcebooks, Inc.
Internal images © Thinkstock, Freepik
Sourcebooks and the colophon are registered trademarks of Sourcebooks, Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems—except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews—without permission in writing from its publisher, Sourcebooks.
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
All brand names and product names used in this book are trademarks, registered trademarks, or trade names of their respective holders. Sourcebooks is not associated with any product or vendor in this book.
Gwendolyn MacEwen’s poem “Dark Pines Under Water” is used with kind permission of David MacKinnon.
Published by Sourcebooks Fire, an imprint of Sourcebooks
P.O. Box 4410, Naperville, Illinois 60567-4410
(630) 961-3900
sourcebooks.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Bérubé, Amelinda, author.
Title: Here there are monsters / Amelinda Berube.
Description: Naperville, Illinois : Sourcebooks Fire, [2019] | Summary: Sixteen-year-old Skye must confront her most savage secrets to save her missing thirteen-year-old sister, Deirdre, from stick-and-bone monsters that have come to life in the woods behind their new home.
Identifiers: LCCN 2018052458 | (trade pbk. : alk. paper)
Subjects: | CYAC: Sisters--Fiction. | Missing children--Fiction. | Monsters--Fiction. | Supernatural--Fiction. | Moving, Household--Fiction.
Classification: LCC PZ7.1.B46495 Her 2019 | DDC [Fic]--dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018052458
Contents
Front Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Part One
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Part Two
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Part Three
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Twenty-Five
Twenty-Six
Twenty-Seven
Twenty-Eight
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Back Cover
To Liana and Zélie
Long may we reign
The night my sister disappears is wild, with a waxing moon sinking dull and red into the leafless claws of the trees.
Mom bursts into my chilly basement room, startling me awake. I blink in the sudden flood of light framing her silhouette. Even in the split second before she speaks, it’s obvious—something’s wrong. I’m coiled rigid on my bed, bracing for it.
“Skye, have you seen Deirdre?” She barely waits for me to shake my head before she turns away. Her footsteps hammer up the stairs, her voice echoing through the house. “Deirdre! This isn’t funny!”
I’m stuck in slow motion. Maybe I’m still dreaming. If I just wait here long enough, I’ll wake up for real. On the night table the clock flicks from 11:37 to 11:38. That can’t be right, but my phone, laying on the bed beside me, confirms it. A half-composed message to the group chat is still waiting for me when I swipe at the screen.
How could I have slept so long? I wasn’t that tired. It was broad daylight.
And Deirdre was outside.
The wind whistles and mutters at the window. Instead of fading, the fear unfurls, blooms into an almost physical thing, a near-definable quality in the air that thickens around me until I can barely breathe. I fumble to my feet. She’s thirteen, I tell myself. She wanders around out there on her own all the time. She doesn’t need me looking after her. This is some sort of trick. Some sort of game. The sort of thing she’d think was perfect for the night before Halloween.
I’m on my way up the stairs when the front door slams; outside, Dad hurries away from the light, shrugging his coat on. The darkness swallows him, leaving only the muffled echo of Deirdre’s name shouted into the night, over and over. Mom yanks closet doors open, hauls the couch away from the wall, slaps at every switch until the house swims with light, every corner exposed.
I watch her in silence, hugging my sweater around myself, winding my icy fingers in the wool. I should help. I should do something. But the thought is distant, muted, like it’s trapped under a thick pane of glass. Outside, a little cone of white light from Dad’s flashlight tracks his path around the yard, the tree trunks flashing thin and gray when he turns it toward the woods.
“Where could she have gone?” Mom cries, throwing the back door open and storming out into the garage. “Deirdre! Deirdre!”
The seconds tick by on the grandfather clock as I stand frozen, alone in the living room. Years ago, by accident, Deirdre hit me in the head while she was throwing rocks in the river. That’s what this is like: the ringing, muffled space before the pain came crashing in.
They’ll find her. Any minute now. They have to.
The door to her room stands slightly ajar, and it swings open soundlessly at my touch. The closet doors are hanging wide from Mom’s frantic search, the drawers pulled out from under the bed. The bedside light throws shadows all over the room. Its pale circle falls over Deirdre’s dented pillow, the blankets rumpled, tossed aside.
The bed is full of leaves. Pine cones. Gray sticks, forked and bent. They’re heaped over the mattress in a little drift; a few of the leaves are curled and scattered on the carpet, ground into brittle fragments. Dad’s voice drifts in through the open window with a spill of cold air, a distant shout, thin and ineffectual. Deirdre! Deirdre! The leaves twitch and ruffle as if they’re stirring at her name.
* * *
When tearing the house apart hasn’t turned up any sign of her, Mom starts making phone calls. One after another, panic simmering in every word. I head for the closet to get my coat, but Mom looks up sharply from the phone.
“Where are you going?” she demands.
“To help Dad?”
She shakes her head, and I start to protest, but she interrupt
s me.
“Stay here, Skye!” She takes a deep breath, moderates her voice. “You’re not leaving this house. Understand? Not until we find her.”
There’s no arguing with that. I sink into a chair at the kitchen table as Mom punches in another number. The wind whines at the windows. Two more numbers, two more weird truncated conversations. Then she hangs up, lets the phone clatter onto the table, and puts the heels of her hands to her eyes for a moment.
“Was she here when you got home from school?”
“I thought so,” I stammer. “I mean, I thought she was outside. Her boots were gone.”
“And you didn’t go looking for her? After hours? We went out for one evening, Skye! We left you in charge!”
Trapped in my chair, I can’t back away from her rising voice. I scrunch down a little lower.
“I fell asleep! It’s not like I—”
Mom shakes her head, puts a weary hand out, cutting me off.
“I’m calling the police.”
I can’t bear to sit next to her while she answers questions for 911, explaining how she’d gone into Deirdre’s room to turn off her light and found only the leaves in her bed. I get up to look out the patio doors for a moment, at the distant gleam of the neighbor’s porch light, then put the kettle on and pull boxes of tea from the cupboard. It doesn’t keep me busy for nearly long enough. The glass wall of my calm is spiderwebbed with cracks, bright, sharp threads that fill my head, a labyrinth of what-ifs and maybes.
In my head I trace and retrace every path Deirdre could have taken. I imagine her stalking down the road, the gravel crunching under her ugly black rain boots, turning her head like a deer in the flare of oncoming headlights. There’s not many ways to walk away from here. At the top of the hill, between the two old stone farmhouses, you can turn right, where the road eventually ends in a snowmobile trail that winds through the woods, or left toward the highway.
How could I have just fallen asleep? The afternoon was perfectly normal; Deirdre’s always outside when I get home. If I’d been awake, at least I would have noticed when she didn’t come back. Surely, even if it’s been hours, she can’t have gone that far. It’s cold out. All our coats are on their hangers in the closet.
Unless a car pulled over, unless the passing headlights caught her pale hair in the dark—if she was cold enough, maybe she’d get in. Maybe she told them home was somewhere far from here. She never would have wanted to go back to our old neighborhood—and that’s two thousand miles from here, anyway—but maybe anywhere else would do, as long as it was away from us. Away from me. If that’s what happened, she’d disappear as surely as if she’d stepped into the river. Swallowed up.
But every time I come to the end of those thin speculations, I find them skittering over the one I can’t let go. That she slipped into the forest, a shadow among shadows, to wade through the stagnant pools between the tree roots. Or that she splashed down the narrow path of the creek under the sinking moon. But that’s as far as I can follow her. I don’t know what’s back there—I have only the sketchiest mental map—and she’s disappeared into its empty spaces like a fish, or a frog, or a dryad.
Those woods devour everything.
Mom accepts a cup of tea but doesn’t drink.
“She’ll be okay,” I tell Mom as she puts the phone down again, because she’s cracking too, trembling on the edge of shattering into a million pieces. Not like it will do much good. I’m putting scotch tape on a broken window. “She’s out there all the time.”
“Not at night,” Mom says, and that shuts me up. She drums her fingers against the handle of her mug for a moment, then gets up to retrieve her laptop from the living room.
“What are you doing?” If she says work, I think I’ll scream. But not even Mom is that hardcore.
“Sending messages. Just in case.”
The computer screen washes ghost-pale light over her face, blue and unforgiving, flickering with all the possibilities.
“How long until the police get here?”
Mom rakes a hand through her hair in a familiar gesture that says I’m busy, don’t talk to me. “They said they’d send someone right away.”
Did a root reach out for her foot? Did a puddle turn into a sinkhole under her step? You can’t trust the ground back there. You could break something just trying to navigate it. Especially in the dark. There are things back there, Deirdre told me once.
Please let her be crouched somewhere, crying, waiting for Dad’s voice, waiting for him to find her. Please let her come home in her own good time, like our cat Mog used to.
But Mog didn’t come home, in the end.
The thought twists my stomach. Every time I yelled at Deirdre, ignored her, rolled my eyes—every time I kept my mouth shut instead of asking if she was okay—everything I’ve done was the wrong thing. The memories go round and round, a nauseating spiral.
Come home. I push the thought out toward the woods as if she’ll hear it. I’ll play whatever stupid game you want. I promise. Just come home.
* * *
The police officer has a kind face and a military-wannabe haircut. He listens solemnly to Mom’s semicoherent rambling, making notes on a long, white form on a clipboard. The questions are icy in their practicality: What was she wearing? Can she swim? Mom keeps circling back to the leaves in Deirdre’s bed.
“That’s strange, isn’t it?” she pleads. “Isn’t that strange? I don’t understand what she was doing. Could it have been somebody else who put them there, or…well, I left them where they were. I thought maybe you might need to see them. In case—I don’t know, just in case.”
“We’ll take a look,” he says solemnly, again and again. “We’ll take a look.”
We all turn at the sound of the back door opening, but it’s only Dad, empty-handed, looking pale and shell-shocked.
“They sent me inside,” he says. “They need something of Deirdre’s. For the dogs, so they can track her.”
Outside, more flashlights weave back and forth across the yard now, winking in and out of the trees. The night is coming alive with sirens and flashing lights that strobe against the branches.
I stand at the window, watching them. The bare branches quiver against the sky. The moon is almost down now, a scrap of clotted light visible between the trees. I don’t turn when the policeman—Officer Leduc—sits in the armchair next to me.
“Do you have any ideas about where she might have gone?” he asks. “Does she have a friend she might have gone to visit, anything like that?”
“Deirdre doesn’t have friends,” I reply dully. She has make-believe worlds instead. Stick monsters and animal bones.
“She’s having some trouble adjusting,” Mom adds, her voice high. “We’ve only been here a few months. Since July. And she’s never had great social skills, she’s”—the words wobble, and I glance around just in time to see the tears start sliding down her cheeks—“she’s just been having trouble.”
A flare of anger makes me turn away from her pinched, weepy face. I haven’t had trouble “adjusting.” I’m not the reason our yard is crawling with police officers at one in the morning. It’s Deirdre, as usual, who’s in trouble; and it’s me, as usual, who was supposed to save her.
And I’m done with that. She knew I was done with that.
“She was outside when you got home,” Officer Leduc prompts. “Is that right?”
“She likes to explore,” Mom says unsteadily, behind me, as I nod. “She was so excited to move here. She loves the woods.”
“How about you?” Officer Leduc continues. “Have you done much exploring around here? Is there anywhere we should look?”
“Did you bring hip waders?” I ask. His eyebrows go up. I sigh. “It’s practically a lake back there. I gave up after the first time. Maybe she found a way through that wasn’t too deep.” Or maybe she just does
n’t care if she gets wet. She came home soaked and muddy often enough. “Or you could try the castle, I guess.”
“She means that big pile of dirt,” Mom clarifies. “On the empty lot next door. Some of the other neighborhood kids like to hang out there.”
I rest my forehead against the window. The glass is cold. Castle is Deirdre’s word for it, not mine. “Yeah. That.”
“Okay.” He scrawls a few notes, frowning at his clipboard, gives me a sympathetic look. “You tell me if you think of anything else, all right?”
“Sure.” They’ll find her. Maybe she’s just camped out somewhere, curled in a sleeping bag at the foot of the castle. Hill, dirt pile, whatever. They’ll drag her home muddy and unrepentant, leaves in her hair, sticking her chin out and daring us to yell at her.
Eventually the door opens, admitting men’s low voices, and Mom almost knocks her chair over as she hurries to meet them. Officer Leduc follows her. I stay put by the window, waiting. Waiting.
But Mom’s sobs start low and echo up to me, and some police officer is saying something grim and professional, and when I shuffle to the top of the stairs and look down at them, she’s cradled against Dad’s chest, and he’s buried his face in her hair. It’s not Deirdre they’ve brought back.
It’s her boots.
Part One
Deirdre
This land like a mirror turns you inward
And you become a forest in a furtive lake;
The dark pines of your mind reach downward,
You dream in the green of your time,
Your memory is a row of sinking pines.
—Gwendolyn MacEwen, “Dark Pines Under Water”
One
July
The name Deirdre means stormy, according to Mom’s old baby name book. It suits her. She’s rail-thin and pale as dandelion fluff, and behind her ice-blue eyes there are always tempests brewing. Our parents are perpetually perplexed by her; there are constant strategies, negotiations, teachers’ conferences, therapists’ appointments. Worried, low-voiced conversations down the hall. She’s always been the one in tears at the sad movie, the one who wakes up screaming.
Here There Are Monsters Page 1