“Yeah.”
“Can we just get in bed and put on a movie and not move at all?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” He moves his head a little to kiss my boob, somewhere around my armpit area. “You’re amazing. I’m gonna help you up.”
“Thanks.”
He slowly sits up and slowly, very slowly, stands up with the help of the wall beside him. And then he helps me up and we take a few wobbly steps and then collapse onto the bed together. “I’m taking your shirt off though,” he says.
“I’m taking yours off too then,” I insist.
We take each other’s shirts off at the same time, and I wish someone were filming this so I can watch it later because I have no idea how we’re able to do this. We crawl up to the pillows, he finds the TV remote on the bedside table, and he turns on Gremlins. We both say, “I love this movie” at the same time and then turn to kiss each other and bump noses.
“Ow.” I rub my nose.
“Shit.” He rubs my nose. “We suck.”
“I’m actually really turned on by you right now.”
“Really?” His face lights up, and he places his hand on my hip.
“Yes, but if you touch any of my lady bits tonight, it will probably kill me.”
He rolls onto his back, groaning. “Mannaggia, Nonna! You cockblocker!” He shakes his fist in the air and then takes in a slow, shaky breath. “Yeah, it would kill me too. Rain check?”
“Rain checks.”
He holds his hand up for me to slap him five, and I do, gently. After a while, I say, “I had a really good time tonight though. I’m glad you made up with Brady and Hannah. Are you?”
“Yeah. Definitely. Thanks for making me slightly less terrible.”
“Always a pleasure.” I give him a nudge and ask him something that I’ve been dying to ask him for days. “Tell me about the tattoo on your arm,” I whisper. “It’s a swallow?”
“Yeah.”
“When’d you get it?”
“College. It was Hannah’s idea.” He moves his arm so I can see the flying bird on the inside of his bicep. “She got one on the back of her neck. So when I put my arm around her shoulder, they were touching. They’d match up.”
“That’s sweet.”
“Yeah. She said that swallows are a symbol of everlasting love and loyalty. Because swallows mate for life.”
I trace the edge of the tattoo with my fingertip. His muscles instinctively flex, and it’s adorable. I kiss the bird’s face. I use all my energy to move my body over enough to kiss Declan’s beautiful sad face.
“I’m sorry you were hurt by them.”
He shrugs. “I guess people can’t really help who they fall in love with…”
“No. I guess not.”
“To be honest, in some ways, I envy them for just doing what they want. Without thinking about the consequences.”
“Well, yeah. If it weren’t for people like them, all lawyers would be out of a job.”
I don’t hear him laughing, so I turn my head and instantly regret making a joke.
“Anyway,” he says without looking at me. “I went to get the tattoo removed, earlier this year. But the guy said it was a really good one and that he sometimes does swallows for people who think of them—all birds—as a symbol of freedom. So, I kept it.”
“Do you like being free?”
“I like being free for the right woman… I really like being free to pretend to be the right woman’s boyfriend.”
Oh, the words. Sometimes his words penetrate me like a big hard cock, and sometimes they kiss me gently on the lips. I kiss his tattoo again and roll onto my back, staring up at the ceiling.
“Cooper…” he whispers. It sounds like his eyes are closed.
“Yeah?”
“Don’t go back to your room tonight.”
“I have to.”
“No you don’t.”
“Fine. But only because I can’t move. Just promise me you won’t say anything else that will make me like you.”
“You know I can’t promise that. Everything I say makes you like me, Coop.”
Mannaggia, Declan Cannavale. I don’t know for sure what mannaggia means, but he’s right.
“I can’t move my eyes, but imagine me rolling my eyes right now.”
“I can’t move my head, but imagine me kissing you right now.”
Mannaggia.
Twenty-Five
Declan
I’D HAVE A BLUE BALLS CHRISTMAS WITHOUT YOU
I remember when I was eight, waking up on Christmas morning to find that it had snowed overnight. I finally got the bike that I’d been begging for all year. Nonna was in Italy, so Ma made waffles with ice cream for breakfast. We watched TV and drank hot chocolate all day. That was a great Christmas.
But it was a load of horse shit compared to this one because Maddie Cooper’s hands and mouth are all over me. She’s pressing her body against my back and she feels naked, and her soft gasps and moans are the only alarm clock I ever want to wake up to. Both Maddie and my cock woke up before me, and I’m glad I had time to digest last night’s dinner because all the blood in my body has headed south, and it just might stay there for the rest of the winter.
I open my eyes to find that the room is still dark. The clock on the bedside table says it’s 5:25, and she said we have to get up at six, so we have time for this. I have all the time in the world for this. She’s exploring my body and I don’t want to disturb her because everything she’s doing, as always, is so very right. She is definitely making me feel like a less terrible person. A very hard, not very terrible, really fucking horny person. But I’ll just lie here on my side and let her do her thing for as long as possible.
She kisses my back, her lips and tongue making her way down that side of me while her smooth, determined hands travel across and up and down my chest and abs. Curious about my chest hair, investigating the dips and contours of every muscle. She can probably tell that I’m awake because my breaths are coming harder and faster, chest rising and falling beneath her fingers, abs tightening under her palms. She may never be able to read my mind the way I want her to, but if she wants to read my body, then I am an open book.
One leg bends, slinking around and encircling mine as she undulates behind me.
She grazes one hand up my arm, barely touching me, and it makes me shudder all over.
No woman has ever made me shudder like that before.
The electricity that has always crackled between us is still there, but the tension has transformed into pure, uninhibited want. It’s easily enough energy to fuel a lifetime of lust between us. I used to wonder if I’d be happy enough with just Hannah for the rest of my days, but the only question I have when it comes to Maddie is—is it too soon for me to retire? Because I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to get through an entire workday if I know I could be having sex with her instead.
I stroke her smooth leg, the one that’s wrapped around mine.
She removes the one arm from under me, sits up, her nipples skimming across the skin of my back as she does, and as if that weren’t enough, she kisses my shoulder, palming my excruciating erection through my boxer briefs.
“Babyyyy,” I whisper.
“Shhhh” is all she says. And then her leg slips from beneath my hand, her hand slips inside my boxer briefs as she slides them down to my ankles, and I feel her mouth and teeth on the flesh of my butt and holy shit I like it. She nudges me onto my back. I kick my underwear off and grab on to her hips when she straddles my waist, the cool air rushing in when she sits up and the covers slide down her torso. But it’s the silhouette of her naked body that causes me to shiver.
It’s the way she licks my pec and twirls her tongue around the nipple, and then, sweet Jesus, she licks me all the way from my pelvis up to my chin and then kisses me with such passion. The way she sucks on my tongue, the little sing-song animal sounds she makes when she nibbles on my lower lip and places quick, playful pecks
all over my face. I’m melting into her and into the mattress at the same time. I’ve never been too big on kissing, but I could kiss this woman forever, I think. Just when I’ve committed myself to doing that, she pulls away, slides farther down, giving me a hint of what her wet pussy would feel like on my cock.
I groan, and I cross my arms tight over my face. Because if I look and see her head bobbing up and down, I will explode in her gorgeous mouth. If I see her look up at me down there, eyelids heavy, licking her lips and grinning, I will ask her to marry me, and if she says no my life would be over. She kisses up the inside of my thigh, teasing me, driving me crazy. I’d expect nothing less from a succubus. The tip of her tongue trails up the underside of my shaft and then swirls around the head, flicking just beneath it and then sucking and fuck. I reach down to grab fistfuls of her silky hair because I need to touch her.
One of her hands is gripping my ass, the other follows her warm mouth up and down, up and down. Determined and confident but gentle, that’s how she’s always handled me. She has been the boss of me, and if she didn’t know it before, she must know it now.
I tug on her hair, whisper her name through clenched teeth, and she knows it’s time to stop if she wants to keep this going any longer.
Her body is pressed against mine again, she whispers in my ear, I hear the words “pill,” I hear the word “clean,” I’m nodding and saying “yes, fuck yes.” Because yes. Fuck yes. This woman is just full of great ideas, and I like her so much.
She places one hand flat on my chest for leverage and wraps the other around my rock-hard cock, lowering herself carefully and slowly. We’re both holding our breaths, because that’s what you do when you know your life is about to change. That’s not an exaggeration. I mean, I really wanted that bike when I was eight, but I have never wanted anything more than I’ve wanted to come inside Maddie Cooper.
When she’s finally lowered herself down onto me and wriggled around a tiny bit to make herself comfortable, and drive me just a little bit crazier, we both exhale. She leans back, resting her hands on my thighs, tits swollen and silently begging for me. She rocks her hips, nice and slow. I reach up to cup her breasts, because no man on earth could resist them, but I’m the only one who gets to touch them now.
Finally, because I’m still me, I break the silence with: “I thought we said no Christmas presents.”
“Shhh. Don’t talk. Just let me do this.”
“Not even dirty talk?”
She thinks about it for a hot second and then shakes her head and covers my mouth with her hand.
“Roger that,” I mumble. She doesn’t want me to talk right now because everything I say makes her like me more. So I will save the dirty talk for later. For now, I let her do this. I let her do that. I’ll let her do whatever she wants. There are a million things I want to say to her, but I have to tell her this one thing right now. “You are so fucking beautiful, Maddie.” I wrap one hand around the back of her neck and pull her down for a kiss. Hard and fast, and then I let her go.
It sets her on fire, and she bears down on me. Nice and slow becomes swift and feverish. Back and forth, round and round, up and down. She’s unhinged, stunning, and I wish there were more light so I could really see her right now because I bet she’s radiant.
God, I want to come, but I would rather die than come before she does.
So I’m mentally reciting the employee dating policy in the Sentinel human resources handbook and wondering if I’m too big of an ass to be able to maintain a good relationship with my assistant while we’re working together. I know the answer, and I don’t like it. But it just makes me want to give her all I’ve got to give right now.
Shhh. Don’t talk, Maddie reminds me in my head. Just let me do this. If that’s all I ever have to do—keep my mouth shut and let her do whatever she needs to do—then I might actually be able to make this work.
She slows and sways, and I force my eyes open so I can watch in awe as the waves of orgasm take over her body. My name escapes her lips, mingles with some fucks, a few Oh Gods, and when she reaches a crescendo, that’s when it’s time for me to take over her body.
I get her on her back, lift one leg to rest it on my shoulder, and drive into her.
Thrusting and grunting like I’m trying to save both of our lives, and maybe I am.
She screams my name, and only my name, and that’s more like it.
Tight and wet and mine. Mine to infuriate, mine to please, and mine to empty myself into until all that’s left is a groan and her name on my lips and a silent prayer to one day tell her how I really feel. Out loud. Fearlessly. Because it already feels like a lie of omission.
But what’s true and good and real right now is this sweet release and the way she holds me tight, cooing and encouraging me to come for her.
And I do.
I come for her.
I come for me.
I come for the man I want to be for her and the us that I always saw us becoming.
The dark, quiet stillness that follows the blast is sweet relief and instant regret at the same time.
Because I can’t ask her to stay here with me instead of spending Christmas with her family.
And I can’t tell her just how lonely I’ll be at the office without her.
And I can’t ask her to invite me to her family dinner.
So I say nothing.
She says nothing.
We catch our breaths.
We’ll catch our separate flights back to New York.
And I’ll keep pretending that it’s my brother’s wedding that I need Maddie for and not every damn thing that makes my life worth living.
Chapter Twenty-Six
MADDIE: You asshole!!! We said no Christmas presents!
DECLAN: You said no exchanging of Christmas presents. We aren’t exchanging gifts. I ordered you something last week, and you did not get anything for me. Who’s the asshole now?
MADDIE:
DECLAN: Yes. I mean, I had her let the delivery guys in and tell them where to put it. I didn’t make an old lady move and set up a punching bag. I’m not that big of an asshole.
MADDIE: Is that why you were looking around my apartment when you came over? To see if I had room for a punching bag?
DECLAN: Sure. I definitely wasn’t checking out all the different surfaces I could fuck you on or against. Wait. This is your personal phone, right?
MADDIE: Well, it’s a VERY personal phone now… I will work out so much aggression on this thing. It’s really more of a gift for you, but thank you! I love it. Will tape a picture of you to it immediately.
DECLAN: Hey now, I want you to save a little aggression for me.
MADDIE: You back home?
DECLAN: Yep. Getting ready to go to the office. You leaving for your family thing?
MADDIE: In an hour or so. You’re really going to the office on Christmas Day?
DECLAN: I’ve Got My Laws to Keep Me Warm. Get it?... You’re really not coming with me?
MADDIE: Tempting. But I mean, I did agree to all this nonsense with you so I could spend time with my family on Christmas, so…
DECLAN:
MADDIE: You sure you’ll be okay?
DECLAN: I’m always okay.
MADDIE: Hi! Are you really at the office on Christmas?
DECLAN: Hi. Miss me already?
MADDIE: OMG yes I totally miss you!!! You and your brother are so hot I can’t even believe Eddie Cannavale is your brother you must have the best-looking family in the universe LOL.
DECLAN: Piper, is that you?
MADDIE: Um. No?
DECLAN: Hey, Piper. I’m not mad. And I’m guessing I have the second best-looking family in the universe afte
r yours and Maddie’s.
MADDIE: ROTFL WOW!!! These pics of you and Eddie are literally the best Christmas presents ever. I can’t wait to print them out and wallpaper my room with them. My friends are going to be soooooooo jelly.
DECLAN: Word. You guys eat dinner yet?
MADDIE: Yes but you should come for dessert! I mean, it’s not great or anything. I never touch the pumpkin pie, but there’s ice cream. Nobody should be alone on Christmas. Have you ever been to Staten Island? It’s not as bad as it sounds IMHO.
DECLAN: Maddie didn’t invite me, so I probably shouldn’t.
MADDIE: She totally wants you here! I heard her tell my mom. My mom was all “Why didn’t you invite him?” and Maddie was like “I didn’t think he’d want to come. He’s my boss.” But you do, right? You’re her BAE.
DECLAN: If BAE stands for Bossy Asshole Esquire then yeah. I am.
MADDIE: LOL. Before Anyone Else.
DECLAN: Well, I pay her to put me BAE, so. Doesn’t really count.
MADDIE: You should def come. Ima text you Mel’s address. Won’t tell Maddie in case you don’t show up. But you totally should. XO
Twenty-Seven
Maddie
DEC THE HALLS
“Twenty dollas. Twenty dollas they wanted for a punkin at the punkin patch in October—I said ‘Excuse me? Excuuuuse me? Twenty dollas for somethin’ I’m gonna carve up, stick a candle in, put on the porch so some asshole can kick it to the curb before Halloween is over? Oh my gawd—no thank you. I said ‘Where are we—the Hamptons? Do I look like Martha effin’ Stewart to you?’ I was appawled. Appaaawwld. Okay? I’m done. Done with jack-o-lanterns. Twenty dollas for somethin’ I can’t even eat or wear? No thank you. Pass me the Cool Whip from the fridge, will ya, hon? The one that’s already open.”
I put another dish in the dishwasher and then retrieve one of the sixteen-ounce tubs of Cool Whip from the fridge for my Aunt Mel. She has been complaining about the price of everything from gas to self-tanning spray ever since I got here. One thing she never complains about, though? Christmas decorations from Michaels. Nearly every inch of her house is covered with them. But her Staten Island accent is so cute, Bex and I like to provoke her so she’ll keep ranting. “I know, I paid seven dollars for a cup of black coffee at a place on Madison Avenue last month.”
A Very Bossy Christmas Page 13