Kayden was a mystery, but he was loyal. A Bitten would never survive an even fight with a purebred. He risked his life for sure. If I had seen him coming, he would have been an easy kill.
Pissed that I underestimated them, I vowed not to do it again.
Passing the training fields, I took notice of the berserkers fighting and stopped for a moment to admire their strength and skill. They understood how powerful rage could be in a fight, but they failed to understand that rage only got the fighter so far. Rage could easily consume rational thought, allowing for fatal mistakes. They didn’t understand the fine line between a powerful punch and a properly executed dodge that could catch an opponent off guard, forcing them off balance as they tried to regain their advantage. Many a victory was claimed by knowing when to punch and when to dodge.
Though I felt more centered since arriving at Wicked Reform, I still longed to feel my enchanted swords in my hands. The blades could kill any creature with a single blow. If I had my swords and daylight cape, I could eliminate every threat on this campus and live out my days in peace, far away from Marcario and the coven. I wished I could start a new coven, one without the stain of failure that marked the long history of the Mielcarek Coven.
Was it wrong to want a coven that didn’t rely on death and destruction? Apparently, someone liked the death and destruction enough to do whatever was needed to keep the status quo.
Walking towards the main building, I passed a number of fae and phoenix headed back to their houses. They looked down their noses at me as if I were a lowly creature. They weren’t exactly wrong.
Vampires as a species had never evolved past the Middle Age mentality of strength over intelligence. It was pathetic really. Other species were creating marvelous wonders while we were still down in the primordial ooze fighting each other with spears and torches. Why wouldn’t the covens want to progress? Why had a vampire enlightenment or renaissance period been so unappealing? Who had the most to lose if we stopped fear mongering and forcing everyone to believe that the Mielcarek way was the only way?
Annoyed, I ventured into the library and found the librarian. Looking down at her nameplate, I saw that her name was Farah.
“Excuse me, I…”
Farah’s eyes snapped to mine. “You are surrounded by death. How has one as young as you shed so much blood?”
I wasn’t sure how she knew how many people I’d killed, but it helped move the conversation along so I didn’t have to explain my sordid history.
“My family is terrible. That’s why I’m here. I’m tired of listening to the crap the vampire teachers are shoving down our throats about the Mielcarek Coven. Are there any books that aren’t biased in favor of them?” I didn’t really expect her to have anything of interest, but it was worth a shot.
She smiled as she looked down at her empty desk. “You expect to learn the truth about the coven in a place where the coven provides money and workers to help keep it running.” She seemed amused by my request.
“I’m hoping to find a book kept by those who want the real truth so it can be used as leverage against the coven.” I watched her eyebrows slowly rise as she smiled.
“That’s a much more interesting subject. Let me see what I have.” She stood up and headed off towards a large desk that looked like it was used by an employee. She returned with a thick book that was missing it’s cover. “This should have what you need. You didn’t get it from me and you were never here. If I see you again, my banshee scream will be the last sound you ever hear.”
Glancing down at the book, I nodded. “If you tell anyone I was here, I’ll shove my favorite gold rings down your throat and watch you die.”
Her smug smile fell as she nodded.
I left the library to find a quiet place to read my nonexistent book.
Heading into the woods beyond the medical building, I settled in to flip through the pages.
Scanning the cursive handwriting, I quickly realized that it wasn’t a history book, but a diary kept by my father. How the fuck had the school gotten their hands on such a precious prize? He never let anyone read his private thoughts. Someone must have stolen it.
I eagerly read passage after passage to determine its age. It soon became apparent that it was from a few years ago. He mentioned an argument where he had suggested I marry the Heir of the Nygard Coven before Silvijn had been suggested. I had vehemently objected to the match, which had sent him into a rage.
I’d forgotten about the argument soon after since he had suggested Silvijn as an alternative.
He expressed his anger to his diary, complaining that I was spoiled and lacked vision.
The girl doesn’t understand the pressure I’m under to maintain a semblance of order. Faustus is demanding more money be directed to the Nygard Coven. The man is going to bleed us dry if he isn’t appeased by a more substantial offering. I’d hoped an agreement could be made with Marianela, but she is too stubborn. If I accept Silvijn as her intended, at least Dakari will stop his bellyaching. Then, Dakari could offer his daughter up to the Nygard Coven. Why can’t everyone do as they’re told? If only the Sabourin daughter was still around. I could have used her to appease Faustus. If I can’t find a solution, there will be war. I will have to sacrifice the Nygard Coven if they become too demanding.
It was a shock to read the way Silvijn’s sister Helene and I had been used as pawns to appease the demands of another coven. He had even wished to offer up Ceyla, who would have been on the run from the coven at the time.
Turning the page, I read another passage.
Marcario only cares about spending his days in the fields with his horses. How did I raise such a ninny? What am I to do with him? The girl is no better. Her head is filled with clouds and moonbeams. How are both my children such failures? Why couldn’t I have a strong son like Dakari or Faustus? If I’m not careful, their sons will take over the coven and we will no longer be in charge. I refuse to allow the Luzader or Nygard Covens to rule my lands. As long as Marianela can keep Silvijn in her sway, he will not rise up against her. Christov could be a problem if he’s not dealt with. Should I teach Marianela to smile and flirt with the powerful Silvijn or should I mold her into someone who will break the boy and make him kneel before her?
I snapped the book shut, angry that all his bullshit speeches about being the next leader of the great Mielcarek Coven had meant nothing. I was nothing more than a sexual object used to keep the males of the lesser covens from overthrowing the Mielcarek Coven.
I shouldn’t have been surprised by the realization that he used me and shaped me into a breaker of men, for that was the path he had led me down.
Worst of all, I had let him do it to me. I had submitted to his teachings until I lost all the clouds and moonbeams in my head. Once I was betrayed, I had fallen back on all the terrible things he had taught me. I wanted to break Marcario and make him bow before me. I had inadvertently done the same to Silvijn.
What the hell was wrong with me?
I was done! I was done with father and the coven. I had to get away from them. I had to leave this place and forget who I was and who my father wanted me to be.
Standing up, I looked around, trying to decide what I would do first. Would I kill everyone? Would I burn the school to the ground? Would I make my way to the ocean and escape through the water? Drowning for the rest of my life would be better than staying here. I had to do something to get away from this life.
I stared at the diary as I plotted my escape.
Hearing something fall next to me, I looked down to see a worm.
My breath caught in my throat. Talen had learned the raven language just in time to warn me that I was about to be ambushed.
A branch snapped behind me. Without warning, I spun and hit someone under the jaw with the diary, sending him flying into the air. I turned and threw the book at the throat of someone else just in time to brace myself against a body flying at me.
My mind quickly caught up, acknowledgin
g that I had knocked Landon a few feet away. With any luck, he would be unconscious for a while. Kayden had received the book to the throat, knocking him off his feet as Ceyla had launched herself at me.
“I wanted this to be slow, but I don’t care anymore. I want you dead!” Ceyla’s claws were inches from my face as I held her wrists. Twisting on the ground, we both struggled to get on top of each other.
“Get over yourself, Ceyla. No one wins if either of us dies. Don’t you get that? There’s no prize or glory if we kill each other. That sense of satisfaction will only last for a while. What then? You could’ve had your freedom when you burned down Dark Forest, but your big plan was to come to a worse prison. That’s insane! You could have been free!” I braced my knee against the ground and flipped her over. Jumping on her, I pinned her arms and legs down.
Seething with rage, she snapped her teeth at me. “I wouldn’t have been free. Your coven wanted me dead, which means there wasn’t anywhere to hide. Don’t you get that?”
“Well, our best assassins couldn’t kill you. Who the fuck do you think was left to hunt you?” I was angry that she had given up her chance at freedom just so she could kill me.
She laughed darkly. “True, but the Mielcareks would have sent someone else and you know it. There is no freedom away from the covens.”
Hearing her say the one thing I truly feared felt like a punch in the stomach. Where was I going to hide? Just because the history books had removed my name didn’t mean the covens wouldn’t fear my return and hunt me. Ceyla and I would be at the top of their hit list.
“You’re not wrong.” I spoke more to myself than her, but she took my statement as a declaration that she would be hunted.
Growling, she pushed me off her and jumped to her feet. She grabbed my hair and slashed my face with her claws. Blood rolled down into my mouth and evoked the memory of the people I had killed on the battlefield. I stopped breathing when I realized that I was just as crazy as Ceyla.
When Silvijn had released me from my watery prison, I could have left with him and disappeared. According to him, no one knew whether I was alive or not. He was the only one who didn’t stop searching for me. It took him months to track down lead after lead until he figured out the general area where I might be. He had bribed the locals to tell him about anyone moving something heavy or covered in a wagon at unusual hours.
Once he figured out that I was chained under the water, he searched for days until he found me.
He released me and then held me in his arms for hours. “Come with me. Let’s leave here and run far away where your brother can never find us.” He had been so happy to see me all he cared about was going somewhere to rejoice.
“No. I have to kill my brother and take my rightful place in the coven. If he finds out I’m alive before I slit his throat, he will do everything in his power to finish me off.” It had taken me a few days to convince Silvijn that a war against my brother was the best course of action, but he finally agreed. I had broken him to my will, just as my father had taught me. Instead, I should have run away with him.
Ceyla punched me in the jaw and slashed my arm. Stomping on my leg, she embraced her rage and broke my tibia. I was so lost in my own thoughts I barely registered the pain. I was too consumed with my own guilt and anger to notice what she was doing to me.
She continued her assault without any resistance from me. I took my beating as I had during my training sessions. I considered it a punishment for all the terrible things I had done since being released from the water.
I should have just walked away.
What did it matter if Marcario was on the high seat or if it was me? The covens would continue to fight over their petty disputes. They would never accept enlightenment. Money and power were all they cared about.
My head turned to one side when Ceyla punched me. I saw a pair of boots I recalled from the other day. Declan crouched down in front of me, and frowned. He waved his hand in front of my face to assess my consciousness.
“Ceyla, she’s done. I don’t think she’ll fight back.” He sounded more surprised than happy about my unwillingness to fight.
Opening my mouth, I looked up at him. “I no longer exist. How can someone claim victory over someone who doesn’t exist?”
Declan appeared to ponder my question. Ceyla moved to kick me, but Declan held up his hand. “Something’s wrong with her. If you kill her now, it will be a hollow victory. Right now, she wants to die. I don’t know what broke her, but she’s not putting up a fight.”
“Good! This is the best time to end her!” Ceyla lunged forward, but Declan caught her.
“No! Not like this. You can’t claim victory over a broken woman. Don’t you get it, Ceyla? Marianela’s right. If you kill her, you’ll still be stuck here. I was more than happy to help you get revenge until I saw how it consumed you. In the beginning, it was something to light a fire under you so you could reclaim your birthright and reform the Sabourin Coven. Now, all you care about is killing her. You no longer speak about your coven and your plans to rebuild it. All you have left inside of you is hatred. I can’t stand by and remain silent anymore. You saved me from a life of killing. I have to do the same for you.” Declan’s pleas were almost poetic. The assassin was so in love with someone that he was willing to walk away from the only life he knew and the only inner self he knew.
Kayden stepped forward. “I think this is responsible for her breakdown.” He handed the diary to Declan.
Declan quickly looked it over and nodded. Handing it to Ceyla, he looked down at me. “It belonged to her father. I’m sure this had something to do with her breakdown.”
Taking the book, Ceyla growled, but quickly scanned it. Reading the part I had read, she slowly sat down on a rock and pored through the pages.
I glanced up to find Talen perched in the trees above us. I made a circle with my hand to tell him to retreat. I did it twice to show him that I meant it. I wanted him far away from the fight.
“What a sadistic bastard. I mean, I always assumed he was an asshole, but this is too much.” She finally dropped the book in front of her. “Damn it, Declan! She could be dead and I would finally be happy, instead I feel sentimental and guilty. Get her out of here. Consider this a temporary truce until I’ve had time to think.” She kicked a few of the myrmidon insects who guarded their homes in the trees, causing them to poke at her to make her leave.
Attempting to stand, I realized the extent of my injuries. On top of a broken leg, I had two cracked ribs, slashes and bruises across my entire body and more blood on the ground than inside my body.
Declan grabbed me when I listed to one side and steadied me. I searched his eyes to see if this was yet another trap, but he nodded to me, implying that he was just trying to help. He was extending me the courtesy of a truce and helping me off the battlefield.
Letting out a breath, I nodded back, accepting his help and pledging that I wouldn’t harm him either.
We headed out of the woods at a snail’s pace. Every bone in my body felt as if it would shatter like glass if I put pressure on any one spot for too long. Every muscle shook from the strain of keeping me upright. All I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and pray for death.
“Why do you love her, Declan? The man I remember was incapable of such feelings.” I couldn’t help but ask how one of the most feared assassins of the Mielcarek Coven found someone who could forgive all his sins and indiscretions. He had been tasked with killing the very woman he loved. Why would she ever forgive him for that? Maybe she really was that crazy.
He gave me a small smile. “I’ve loved her since the first moment I saw her. I never wanted her dead. I got myself thrown into Dark Forest so I could watch over her and protect her. I confessed my love to her and she accepted me. I’ve never been happier.”
I tried to laugh but it turned into a deep cough. He patted my back until I could breathe. “Do you think there’s hope for me?”
His eyebrows rose as he conside
red my question. He pursed his lips and sighed. “I think that the odds are stacked against you, but if I can change, anyone can change. Just don’t expect this place to let you change. They want you to fail.”
I wanted to frown, but my face hurt too much. “I know.” Stopping to cough, I looked up at him. “Tonight I experienced a personal setback, but you know I won’t stay down. If Ceyla comes at me again, I will kill her and you know it. That’s why you stopped her tonight. You want her to let go of her hatred so I don’t kill her.”
He looked at the ground and mumbled something to himself. “You’re right Marianela, though I will never admit it to Ceyla. Don’t get me wrong, she’s smart and strong, but you’re skilled. If I killed you myself, Ceyla would be pissed, but she doesn’t have what it takes to defeat you, physically or emotionally.”
“Thank you for your honesty, Declan.” I nearly blacked out when I tried to take another step. I wanted to vomit from the agony of my bones grinding together.
He looked around and carefully set me down near the entrance to the forest. “This is as far as I can take you without being implicated in your injuries. Our truce is over. I respect you Marianela, but that won’t stop me from hurting you if that’s what Ceyla wants. I hope you understand. The sun will be up in a few minutes. I really hope you’re smart enough to get yourself home safely.” He tipped his head to me and headed back to Vamp House.
I looked up at the brightening sky. Declan had deserted me in a clearing, far from any cover. I couldn’t walk, so running home wasn’t an option.
I respected him a tiny bit more for attempting to kill me with the sun so that he could claim it was an accident. Ceyla wouldn’t be mad at him because he hadn’t killed me directly but it would keep her safe from me. Clever boy.
Bloodlust: House of Vampires Page 9