He walked towards them, hands held up. “Please, just let me explain—”
“You’d best not take another step, if you don’t want this to get unfriendly,” Mallow warned.
“I was trying to find my sisters!” Zee shouted. He cursed and turned away from them. Took a moment to collect himself. Turned back around. When he spoke again, his voice was softer, but raw now, exposed.
“I have three younger sisters: Elizabeth, Elena, and Emily. I’ve been looking after them ever since our parents died two years back. That’s why I started working as a rangeman—so I could provide for them like my father had. But eight months ago, while I was off on a job, they disappeared. There was no sign of them when I got home, no sign of where they might’ve gone, either. They were kidnapped, I’m sure of it. Sold into the system. I’ve been searching welcome houses ever since, trying to find them. That’s why I was in Green Creek the night you all ran away.”
And that’s why he looks familiar, Aster realized, a chill creeping down her arms.
She’d seen Zee in the reception room. The young brag by the bar.
Zee stabbed an accusing finger at his own chest. “It was my responsibility to take care of my sisters,” he continued. “It’s my fault this happened. So I’m just trying to make things right, hear? Don’t you ever accuse me of being like the men who would hurt them.”
He let out a long breath, lacing his fingers over his head and crumpling his hat. “There, now you got me huffing and puffing like a hallower. Probably woke up half the damn Scab. Praise be to the dead, may they bless us with their wisdom.”
A sarcastic slant had crept back into his voice, but Aster wasn’t fooled. She recognized his pain as well as her own.
“Zee…” Clementine said softly. “Why didn’t you tell us about your sisters before?”
Zee shrugged, sighing. “Seems to me like you all already have enough to worry about as it is.”
Well, that was true enough. But Aster gave him a single nod, to show him that she understood.
Zee gave them a small smile in return. “All right, I told you all where I’ve been,” he said. “Now where the rip were you?”
Aster glanced at Violet and started towards the horses. “We’d better tell you on the run.”
10
They didn’t stop riding until midday the next day, when Zee led them to rest under a tree that had been struck dead by lightning. Aster took the opportunity to finally count the shine they’d stolen, her hands clumsy from the cloth bandages Tansy had wrapped around her knuckles. The silver coins felt greasy in her fingers. The total came to a little over one hundred eagles.
Aster had to admit—she’d been hoping for a little more for her trouble.
“Well? How much did we get?” Clementine asked expectantly, looking over Aster’s shoulder.
“One hundred and two eagles and a handful of coppers,” Aster muttered. Clementine, Tansy, and Mallow let out a whoop, clinking their canteens like champagne glasses. Aster pinched her brow. It was more shine than any of them had seen at once, true, but it wouldn’t cover the cost for even one of them to get their favors removed, if Violet’s information was right. It was far too early to celebrate.
But the others had been in good spirits all morning. Zee had brought them back the fresh supplies he’d promised and proved himself loyal, at least in their eyes. They’d made it out of Drywell without being caught, and they were richer than they’d ever been. They looked prepared for anything in their crisp new rangemen’s gear. And for now, they were free. Zee’s eager grin was reflected on all their faces.
Aster chewed the inside of her cheek as she packed up the coin purse. Maybe there was something wrong with her, that she couldn’t look at Zee without her gut churning with suspicion.
Or maybe she was right, and Zee was still hiding something.
Once again, Aster found herself tempted to confide in Violet, the only one who wouldn’t rush to defend him. Violet didn’t seem to share Aster’s suspicion of Zee, but neither did she seem to want anything to do with him. Right now she was sitting up against a tree, silent and scowling, as if she couldn’t be bothered with any of them.
Aster walked over and sat next to her anyway.
“Fine weather we got today,” Aster said, trying her best to sound pleasant.
Violet cracked open her eyes and shot her a withering look. Tansy had warned them that Violet’s withdrawal as she tapered off the Sweet Thistle would make her sensitive to light—and sweaty, and sickly, and even more irritable than usual. Today seemed to be a particularly bad day.
Well, if talking to Violet distracts her from her cravings, so much the better.
“You sure it’s a thousand eagles a head for Lady Ghost to help us?” Aster began, leaning back against the blackened bark.
Violet took a drink from her canteen with trembling hands. “Well if you don’t believe me, there’s nothing I can do to prove it to you,” she said sharply.
“No, it’s not that, I just—” Aster shook her head. “It’s going to be tough. If we’re sticking with Zee for certain now, we’ll have to pay him with the theomite ring at the end of all this, which means we won’t be able to use it to pay Lady Ghost. What we did last night, it helped … but it’s not enough.” As she spoke, Aster realized she was talking about Lady Ghost as if it were a given the woman was real. She supposed she’d had to start thinking that way, since they were risking their lives on the promise of it being true. Easier than always fighting off the doubt, which she knew was hiding deep down in her gut, ready to come out if she let it.
“So we do it again,” Violet said. “Arketta’s not going to run out of brags for us to rob. They’re all over the damn place.”
“You don’t think we ought to lie low, though?” It had all seemed like a good idea last night, when they were caught in the moment … but now, in daylight …
“Listen, if you’re looking for someone to talk you out of it, it’s not going to be me. As far as I’m concerned, these bastards owe us. They’ve been stealing from girls like us for years.”
Aster couldn’t disagree with that. Still, it was strange to hear Violet arguing for any kind of unlawfulness. Her blood wasn’t tainted with the criminal instinct, as she’d always reminded anyone who would listen. Aster almost pointed this out, but she took another look at Violet’s strained, sallow face and thought better of it.
“All right, then, but we’ll have to try and hit every town between here and Northrock if we’re going to get the shine in time.”
“Mm,” Violet said vaguely, and closed her eyes again.
She clearly wanted her to piss off, but Aster wasn’t done yet. She glanced back up at Zee. He and the others were beginning to ready their horses to leave again, laughing as they did so.
Aster wet her lips and lowered her voice. “Listen, Violet, I don’t want to trouble you—”
“Too late.”
“—but I was wondering if I could ride with you this afternoon. There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
Violet finally met her eye. “And by talk to, are you sure you don’t mean nag, reprimand, or bully? Because I’m not in the mood to butt heads with you today.”
Well that’s a relief, Aster thought sourly, considering Violet was the one who was always trying to start an argument. But she bit back that reply, too.
“No, I just want to talk about Zee. I can’t seem to sort out how to feel about him, and I don’t think any of the others would understand.”
“Don’t tell me you’re sweet on him,” Violet said with clear distaste.
Aster rolled her eyes. “No, actually, the opposite. I don’t trust him. And I don’t know if that’s because there’s truly something hateful about him, or if it’s just … just that I can’t help but see hatefulness in all of them now. The whole thing’s making me sick.” Aster let out a short breath through her teeth. “Rip it,” she swore. “Never mind. Forget I said anything—”
“W
ait,” Violet sighed. “You can ride with me for a bit. But I won’t hesitate to give you back to your sister the minute you begin to bother me.”
Aster rolled her eyes, but on the inside, she was relieved. She ran back to Clementine to tell her she’d be with Violet for the rest of the day, then returned to help Violet start tacking up. The group set off a few moments later, with Zee and Clementine riding side by side at the front, Tansy and Mallow together in the middle, and Violet and Aster pulling up the rear.
For a moment they were silent, settling into the pace Zee had set. Aster felt in no hurry to fill the silence between them. In truth, she barely trusted Violet any more than she did Zee. Violet had ratted out girls to Mother Fleur for even minor offenses. She’d scolded girls for crying, taunted them for making mistakes, laughed at all their little humiliations. There were times when Aster had hated Violet as much as any brag.
But Violet has no power here, Aster reminded herself.
“I’ve never met a man that wasn’t rotten,” Violet said at last, breaking in on Aster’s thoughts.
Aster looked up, surprised.
“Born in the welcome house,” Violet reminded her. “The only men I ever knew were brags and raveners.”
“Doc Barrow was kind enough,” Aster offered, thinking of Tansy. The welcome house doctor had always let her follow him around like a lost little duck.
Violet let out a hollow laugh. “Kind enough to cut us from the inside so we can never have children? Kind enough to give us Sweet Thistle so we’re too numb to fight back? That man collects his coin from the same people who kept us prisoner. He can take the next train to hell.”
Aster flinched. She’d never looked at it that way. But it was true that Doc Barrow had been the first man from Green Creek to hurt any of them. All girls had to be “treated” before going to live in a welcome house. Children like Violet, born to a Good Luck Girl, were rarer than rare, almost always the result of a botched procedure.
Aster swallowed down a sick feeling in her throat.
“So Zee must be rotten, too, is that what you’re saying?” Aster asked.
“If he’s not yet, he will be one day. Aster, the whole damn world is rotten. That’s what it takes to survive. I learned that a long time ago.”
“So that’s your excuse, is it, for making the rest of our lives miserable all the time?” Aster muttered. She knew she’d promised to behave herself, but the words simply slipped out.
But Violet was unbothered. “What? You think I don’t know how much you all hated me? You think I gave a wet shit? I was just looking out for myself. If you had any sense you’d have done the same.”
The words hung in the air, a challenge. Their conversation was still too low for the others to hear, and Aster bit her tongue until she was confident she could speak without raising her voice in anger.
“I didn’t have the luxury of looking out for myself,” she said at last. “I was too busy looking out for Clem.”
“And a fine job you did of it. She would have died if she hadn’t killed McClennon—which is exactly my point. If you’re not willing to play dirty, you’ve already lost.”
Aster curled her lip, near ready to strangle Violet, but all of a sudden the fight went out of her.
Because Violet was right.
Violet understood.
It was foolish to trust anyone. To hope for the best. To play fair in an unfair world. The others might have felt ready to put their faith in Zee, but Aster was not yet ready to put her faith in anything. And she was clearly right not to do so.
Aster should have felt vindicated by Violet’s answer, but instead she just felt empty. And exhausted beyond words.
Violet’s manner seemed to soften, as if she’d felt the sudden shift in Aster’s temper. She glanced back over her shoulder.
“For what it’s worth, I do think Zee’s telling the truth about his sisters,” Violet said quietly.
“So do I,” Aster admitted, but only because she’d seen him lie before and knew what it looked like.
“And he used his father’s shine on the supplies for us, too,” Violet went on, businesslike. “So, I suppose that counts for something.”
“He knows he’s going to earn it all back ten times over when we pay him, though.”
“Just the same,” Violet said. “My point is—you don’t have to trust Zee, or anyone, for that matter, but you at least have to recognize when they’re useful. Zee is useful to us because he knows how to get us to Northrock in one piece. And we’re useful to him, too, because he clearly feels no end of guilt that he can’t help his sisters, and helping us is the next best thing. Our boy wants to be able to sleep at night again. Works for me.”
Violet’s callous assessment of the situation threw Aster at first, a startling reminder of just how much Violet treated emotion as something to be exploited. But then she began to feel comforted by the clear-cut logic. Honor, justice, basic human decency—these were not things to stake your life on. But mutual usefulness was just about solid ground.
“Thanks, Violet,” Aster said, sitting up straighter in the saddle. “I feel better … I think.”
“Give it time, it’ll pass.”
They rode on, the sun beating on the back of Aster’s neck. The trees sagged under the weight of the still, windless heat. The sky was bright blue marble streaked with white. Aster and Violet began discussing their next robbery, Aster all too aware that it had been Violet’s quick thinking that had allowed them to pull the last one off. But even so, it had been a near disaster. The next brag might be better prepared. They had to be, too.
“We were right to bring the first brag into the woods,” Aster said. “It was just in forgetting the rope we got sloppy. Still, if he hadn’t lost his fight by the time Clem fetched it, tying him up might’ve been rough.”
Violet nodded. “Maybe if we held a gun on him next time? Zee has the hunting rifle.”
“I can’t shoot worth a damn,” Aster muttered, thinking back to the apothecary robbery. She hadn’t had any idea what to do with the gun in her hands. And that was only part of the problem—even if Aster knew what she was doing, she wasn’t sure she was ready to cross that line. Holding a knife on a man was bad enough.
They never had a problem crossing lines when you were at their mercy, a little voice in the back of her mind whispered.
Aster forced herself to ignore it. “You might be onto something, though, asking Zee for help,” she continued. “Making him … useful. He must know a thing or two about trapping—maybe there’s a way to lure the brag into a snare…”
But Aster suspected she’d have a hard time convincing him to help. He’d seemed upset enough when they told him they’d robbed the statesman. A few eagles weren’t worth the risk, he’d said. But that air of guilt still clung to him as he spoke, and he hadn’t argued the point long. Perhaps he’d blamed himself for their desperate actions.
Whatever—as long as he had their backs when it mattered.
Violet and Aster continued talking through their plans, but as the hours wore on, Aster couldn’t help but be distracted by Clementine’s peppering bursts of laughter from up ahead. Aster was too far away to hear what Zee was saying, but it was obvious enough that he was the one responsible for Clementine’s good mood. A moment later he gave her a mouth harp that she struggled to play.
“And here you had me believing you played the piano,” Zee cried indignantly, now loud enough for everyone to hear.
“I do! This is nothing like it.”
“It’s the same basic principle.”
“What would you know about it?”
“It’s not supposed to sound like a dying cat, I know that much.”
“They better quiet down before they get us all killed,” Violet said to Aster, sounding bored.
Aster didn’t respond. She was too busy quelling her anger—at Clementine for letting her guard down, at Zee for talking to her in the first place.
But even if Zee were as good as ev
eryone seemed to think he was, it didn’t change the fact that the closer Clementine got to any man, the more power he’d have to hurt her. Half the girls at the welcome house spun themselves a fantasy of falling in love with a man who would take them out of the house for good. But in reality, men just used your weaknesses to manipulate you. That was just as true out here as it was on the inside. If she hadn’t been convinced of that before talking to Violet, she certainly was now.
Aster hadn’t gotten Clementine out of one prison just to watch her walk into another.
Take it easy. They’re just joking around. It doesn’t mean anything.
It had better not.
It was late afternoon when they stopped for the day. Zee led them to a narrow gully with a thin stream of water running through it that would help to hide their tracks and scent. Aster sidled up next to him as the others knelt gratefully to drink and wash their faces.
“Talk to you for a minute?” she asked, clearing her throat.
He turned, his easy smile still hanging loose on his face, his brown eyes bright as copper in the sunlight. Aster could see why her sister might be swept up by him. But it didn’t change the way things were.
Zee brushed his hands together. “Sure thing.”
They staggered up the side of the gully. Zee helped Aster over some of the rockier stretches, and she couldn’t help but flinch away from his touch. Her skin crawled at the contact.
“So what’s on your mind?” Zee asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets and leaning against the trunk of a tree.
Aster hesitated. Something in the gentleness of his voice almost convinced her to tell the truth. I can’t help but be afraid of you, Zee. I can’t help but be afraid for my sister. But we need you right now, and I don’t know what to do.
But instead, she just said: “Violet and I’ve been planning out our next robbery. We’ll need your help to pull it off.”
Zee’s face fell. “Another robbery? Why?”
The Good Luck Girls Page 12