“I’m so sorry.” I didn’t know what to say to make him feel better. I wasn’t good at shit like this. I was more a person who bullied my way through adversity and didn’t get emotional about it, at least, not on the surface. I decided to ask him. “What can I do to make you feel better? Anything I can do to make your life better, just ask.”
He met my gaze with a determined one of his own, which was encouraging. “There is one thing you can do.”
I squirmed at his response. Something about it was ominous. “Anything,” I said, fearing I might regret those seemingly innocent words.
“Stay away from Axel. I can’t even stand the sight of the guy. The entire team knows they spent the night together. It’s humiliating, like they’re all thinking I couldn’t keep my wife happy at home. It’s bad enough I’m forced to interact with him. The last thing I want to see is you having any kind of relationship with him. He’s a player with very few morals and fewer scruples.”
“First of all, dear brother, I’ve been around the block a few times. You forget my last boyfriend was in the Sacred Hearts.”
“He was a wannabe.”
“An associate member,” I corrected him. “Regardless, he was way more badass than Axel would ever hope to be. In fact, I’m more badass than Axel will ever be.”
That made Jock smile. “You are at that. Then don’t avoid him for your sake but for mine. Regardless of whether or not he slept with Bria one night or a dozen, every time I see him, the pain comes flooding back, and seeing him with you would be intolerable. Please, do this for me.”
“I haven’t had, and I will not have, a relationship with Axel.”
“Thank you.” Relief shone in his eyes and his grateful smile was genuine.
I didn’t feel so good though. I’d just made a promise I wasn’t sure I could keep.
~~Axel~~
I didn’t go back to my room after I left the bar. I couldn’t sleep, so I crossed the street and ducked into the bar where I’d last seen the Puck Bros. They were still there, quite a bit drunker and louder, minus Easton, who was probably sexting with Caro right about now. Ever since he’d become one half of a couple, he was a drag to be around. I guess the guys might say that about me, but I’d been forced to be on good behavior by my bad choices, not by a woman.
“Hey!” I shouted above the din of the DJ’s music, clattering glasses, and raised voices.
The guys raised their glasses to me and shouted drunken welcomes. Chairs were scooted over to make way for me. Across the table, Ziggy nodded to me and went back to making out with the blonde who sat on his lap facing him. Her legs were wrapped around his hips, and her short skirt had ridden up to reveal her G-string. I looked away, not needing to see any more. Ziggy was the least modest of all of us, and he had some good competition in that arena. In fact, I would’ve been doing the same thing right now if it wasn’t for my other worries holding me back.
Kaden sloppily poured a glass full of beer and pushed it across the table to me. I lifted the glass to my lips and guzzled it, after which I poured another.
Jasper “Caveman” Flint staggered off the dance floor, a scantily clad woman on each arm. I wasn’t sure who was supporting whom. Cave had this way with women I would never understand. He was a slob, didn’t dress well, his hair was always wild, but the women were attracted to him like flies to a carcass. He never lacked female companionship.
“I’m heading to the room,” he slurred.
“Me too.” Ziggy stood abruptly, catching the woman before she fell off his lap onto the floor. “Later.”
The group stumbled out the door, hanging on to each other.
“They stiffed us with the bill.” Steele frowned. He was always the one who kept track of finances and made sure the checks were split evenly.
“Now there’s the start of a good orgy if there ever was one,” Kaden said almost wistfully, ignoring Steele’s concern about the bill.
“Usually, you’re the instigator of something like that.”
“Until he fell in love.” Steele winked at me.
“I’m not in love. Just seeing someone exclusively.”
“You are? Why is this the first I’ve heard of this?” I was out of the loop for four months, and everything changed, well, except for Ziggy and Cave. They’d never change. They were perpetual horny teenagers. Easton was my longtime best friend. He hadn’t kept me filled in on our fellow Puck Bros. I couldn’t shake the FOMO flooding through me. I was feeling sorry for myself, I guess.
“You’ve been gone, and he’s not spilling anything about her. I think she’s married,” Steele said.
“She is not. She’s very private. That’s all.” Kaden narrowed his gaze on me, effectively moving the focus off him to me. “What about you? First of all, why did you leave early? Did you have a hot date? And now you’re trolling for another?”
“Something like that.” I made a show of perusing the room for my next conquest. A group of women sat in one corner, and they were eyeing us. I winked in their direction. Originally, I’d been the self-proclaimed leader of the Puck Bros. This was my first opportunity since I’d rejoined the team to show I was still claiming that position.
“Don’t waste your time. They’re not available,” Steele warned me.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean they happen to be undercover cops,” Steele informed me as if it should be obvious to all of us. I narrowed my gaze and really looked at them. All I saw were thirtysomethings having a girls’ night out.
“How do you know that?” I glanced at Kaden, who shrugged. His head was buried in his phone, and his expression was unreadable.
“I just know. Trust me on this,” Steele said.
“Yeah, but how?”
“For starters, men have been hitting on them all night and nothing. Not one of them breaks ranks. Second, see the bulge in the purse hanging over the redhead’s chair?”
“Yeah, so?”
“It’s a gun.”
“I still don’t see how that makes them undercover cops.”
“Yeah, well, there’s more, but I can’t say.”
Steele had always had this overactive imagination, but sometimes he had an uncanny ability to see things no one else saw. I turned away from the women, essentially snubbing them. If Steele was right, and he was a serious guy and wouldn’t make statements like that lightly, I didn’t need any additional trouble with the team by hustling an undercover cop. I was actually relieved I had an excuse to not pursue those other women.
The only woman I wanted right now was sitting in the hotel bar across the street with a brother who despised me.
Chapter 11—Demons of the Past
~~Geneva~~
The two games of the road trip didn’t go well. Jock hadn’t been a starting goalie in years, and he was understandably rusty. The coaches and his teammates were encouraging. They didn’t lay blame at his feet, even though my brother blamed himself.
This hadn’t turned out to be one of my favorite road trips. Not just because of my brother and losing but also because of Axel. Not that Axel did anything or said anything to disturb me, but maybe because he didn’t. After that meeting in the bar and almost kiss, he avoided me like a person would avoid someone diagnosed with a contagious, incurable virus.
Unfortunately, I struggled with banning the man from my thoughts. Instead, he lived in my brain twenty-four seven, awake and asleep. Either I was thinking about him, his smile, his green eyes, his intensity on the ice, or I was dreaming about him naked and doing very naughty and very pleasurable things to my body.
I didn’t have another opportunity alone with Axel—good thing—but I did wonder what he’d been about to tell me about Bria. I dismissed whatever it was as just more justification as to why he’d done what he’d done.
“Where’s Axel?” Teagan asked at dinner that evening after we’d arrived home. Her makeup was impeccable, and she was wearing a cute little dress, not her normal attire for dinner. Then it dawned on
me, and I hoped it didn’t dawn on my usually clueless brother. Teagan had been expecting Axel to join us for dinner.
I swung my gaze to Jock, waiting for his answer. He put down his fork, took his time chewing a bite of salad, and swallowed. “He’s not here tonight.”
“Well, duh,” Teagan frowned. “When will he be?”
“When he doesn’t have other obligations.” Jock’s voice was tight. He was on edge with all the pressure he was under. Being a teenager, Teagan didn’t care. She preferred to push buttons.
“When’s that? I want to make sure I’m here.”
“I don’t know, but he’s too old for you. Stay away from him. You aren’t equipped to handle guys like him.” Jock bristled and leveled one of his stern fatherly glares at her. She blinked innocently and stared back.
“You don’t have any idea what I’m equipped to handle. You can’t tell me who I can like and who I can’t.”
“Yes, I can. I’m your father.”
“Mom said I can live with her, and she won’t have all these rules.”
Jock went white. “When did you talk to your mother?”
“None of your business.” Teagan stood and threw down her napkin. “She’s my mother, and you can’t do anything about it. I’m going to Charise’s.”
“No, you’re not. It’s a school night.”
“I am too. Mom says I don’t have to do what you say.”
“Like hell you don’t.” Jock was trying hard to control his frustration. I had to applaud him.
“I hate you!” Teagan screamed and ran upstairs. Seconds later, her door slammed shut.
The table was dead silent. No one said a thing. Jock drew in a deep breath and sighed. He started to get up from the table, but Esme put a restraining hand on his arm.
“She’s a teenager. Let it go.”
“She was insubordinate.” Jock ran his hands through his hair in frustration.
“That’s what teenagers do. They relish being rebellious.”
Jock looked at me and shrugged. This was all new territory to me. I didn’t know shit about kids or child psychology, but I did know that it wasn’t a good thing that Bria was pulling her daughter’s strings. The poor girl would do anything to gain her mother’s love, and how far she’d go concerned me. Bria didn’t have her children’s best interests at heart, because in Bria’s world, it was all about Bria. No one else mattered.
I was concerned for my brother and his kids, and I didn’t have a good feeling about what Bria might pull next.
~~Axel~~
The morning skate had ended, and Coach had worked us hard. I’d had one of those practices that didn’t bring a guy up but slapped him down. Judging by how quiet it was in the locker room, I wasn’t the only one not feeling the love.
We had less than a month to go in the regular season and would need help or a miracle to make the playoffs. We played a home game last night and lost and had one more on Saturday before leaving on a week-long road trip.
The entire team was embarrassed they’d let down the coaches, staff, and fans. As defending Cup champions, we’d been expected to go deep in the playoffs, rather than not make the playoffs at all.
I wasn’t contributing much myself, and the guilt weighed heavily on me. I hadn’t scored one goal since I’d been brought up.
I showered and dressed in my workout gear and was heading for the weight room when Ice approached me. “Got a minute?”
“Sure,” I said, concealing the nervousness I felt. Ice didn’t single out team members for a chat unless he had something serious to say. I hadn’t been in trouble lately or been in the press, so whatever he wanted had to do with my on-ice performance.
I followed him into the hallway and down to a secluded corner. His face was unreadable as usual.
“You haven’t had any luck scoring since you joined the team,” he stated the obvious.
“I’m in a dry spell. Can’t find the zone.”
“Happens to all of us. You need extra practice hitting the puck into the net to build your confidence.”
I nodded. I didn’t dispute his observation. What he was telling me wasn’t any surprise to anyone. “I’ve been getting in as much practice as I can.”
“I don’t doubt your dedication. I’d strongly suggest you and Jock work together after regular practice. He needs the in-net time, and you need the shooting practice. Seems like it’d be mutually beneficial.”
They were all conspiring to push Jock and me together. I sighed. The last person I wanted to spend even more time with was Jock.
“Is this mandatory or voluntary?” I already knew the answer to that one.
“What do you think a good teammate would do?”
Fuck, let’s lay the guilt on even thicker. “Does Jock know about your suggestion?”
“No, we’ll keep it that way. Let’s make it your idea.” His somber face pulled into a grin, and he slapped me on the back so hard I almost fell over. Throwing his head backward in a rare hearty laugh, he strutted off, way too pleased with himself. Once again, I’d been set up.
I rubbed my face with my hands, wishing I could erase the last few weeks and begin again. That one night with Bria had started an avalanche of uncertainty that messed with my head. Thanks to Jock’s surliness and the guilt that overwhelmed me day in and out, the head-messing escalated. If I didn’t get it under control soon, I’d be ending my hockey career almost as soon as it started.
I pushed away from the cold concrete of the wall I’d been leaning against, walked the several feet to the door of the laundry room and opened it. I wasn’t sure why I was playing with additional fire by seeking out the one other woman I should be avoiding, but here I was. Holding out a match while pouring gasoline on the ground. An act that never ended well.
I stood in the doorway and took a moment to appreciate the woman folding towels with her back to me. She hadn’t heard me enter over the noise of the multiple industrial-sized washers and dryers in the room. Her movements were precise without wasting any unnecessary energy. Those khakis hugged her rounded ass quite nicely, and I licked my lips as I imagined a dirty scenario involving that ass, minus the pants and panties, and my hand. I grinned. I bet she’d like a good spanking, and she’d work at getting me hot and bothered enough to want to spank her. Okay, I had to squelch this line of thinking right here and now.
“Geneva!” I shouted to be heard over the din.
She turned with a smile on her face, which quickly faded when she saw me. “What can I do for you?” Her tone was strictly business, cold and professional.
I moved closer so I wouldn’t have to yell. Big mistake. Her scent filled my nostrils, a heady mixture of her shampoo and laundry room detergent. Who’d have figured it’d be a turn-on?
“Any idea where I might find your brother?”
“Did you try the weight room?”
Oops. Like that wouldn’t be the first place I should’ve looked? I cringed slightly, caught with my proverbial pants down. I’d used her brother as an excuse to talk to her, and she saw right through my ruse before I’d even realized myself what I’d been doing.
“Uh, I’ll check there.” I turned on my heel, embarrassed by my transparency.
“Axel.” The concern in her voice turned me back around.
“Yeah?”
“The other night in Chicago—what was it you wanted to tell me about Bria?”
“It’s nothing. Forget I said anything.”
“It’s not nothing if it involves people I love.”
I closed the door and walked across the room, careful to keep the folding table between us. “A week ago, I was getting out of my car, and Bria was there.”
“Here? In this parking garage? She has the nerve to be seen here?”
“No, not here. At my building. She’s still trying to get me to lie for her so Jock will forgive her. She’s taking on an air of desperation.”
“And you’re telling me this why?”
“Never mind. This was a b
ad idea.”
“No, there’s more, isn’t there?”
“I told her I wouldn’t lie for her, and she said I’d be sorry, that we’d all regret how we’d treated her.”
“Regret?” Geneva dropped the clean towel she’d been folding on the floor but didn’t seem to notice.
“I’m sure it means nothing,” I rushed to add. “She was really drunk.”
“I’m sure it’s just drunk speak too. Have you told Jock?”
“Uh, no, we’re not exactly best buddies. You don’t think she’d really do anything, do you?”
“I have no idea what that crazy bitch is capable of. She’s already working on alienating Teagan from the rest of the family.”
“Oh, man, that sucks. Are you going to tell him?”
“I don’t know if I should or not. He already has too much to worry about. This might push him over the edge.”
“We don’t want to do that. The team needs him.”
“So does his family.”
“Of course.” I hung my head, duly chastised. “But the drinking… Is she having any visitation with the kids?”
“Not really. She hasn’t pushed for it yet. I don’t know how much she’s drinking right now. I know she’s been known to recreationally abuse cocaine too.”
“Yeah, that night we were, uh, together, she offered me some. I said no. I don’t do drugs.”
Geneva’s expression was troubled. “Jock is aware of her occasional substance abuse. There’s no proof it’s escalated, though it would make sense if it has.”
“I know. I just thought someone in Jock’s family should be aware of what I’ve seen.”
“Thank you for being honest with me. Let’s keep this our little secret for now. I’ll be extra diligent. I worked for a bail bondsman before doing this, and I know how to handle women like that. I’m sure it’s an idle, alcohol-fueled threat.”
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