by Bob Stegner
He wondered, ‘Could I actually be on Earth or some other Earth-like planet? How did I get here?’ It was obvious that he was nowhere near R-131. And as these questions rolled around in his mind, the ethereal feelings of excitement that he’d had when he first woke up began to ebb, giving way to a sense of unsettled apprehension. He yelled, "Hey! Hello! Hello! Help me! Help me! Hello!" No one answered.
He looked back at the water. Its immensity and the overpowering landscape behind him felt heavy now - the weight almost oppressive and lonely. He was becoming slightly dizzy and even more chilled. He recalled his survival training and realized that he might be going into shock. He glanced around and found an area where there was a small grove of trees. The ground beneath them was dry and grassy. Nearby, he picked handfuls of taller dry grass for cover. He sat within the group of trees, leaning against one of them, and covered himself with the long grass, using it as a blanket. The makeshift shelter gave him some warmth and a bit of protection from the elements.
As he settled in, he noticed that dusk had fallen. It would soon be night, and this good-bad dream, whether it was real or not, felt absolutely lucid to him. He curled up with his thoughts and slept.
In his sleep, he had one of those dreams that felt as if it was actually happening. It was extremely clear, crisp, and colorful. A woman’s face came to him. It was the Old One from the Room. She was looking into his eyes, burning her face into his mind. He felt her presence very strongly. She spoke to him in words that were precise and memorable. "Observe life and survive. The Room is constant yet changing. Be aware."
***
It was morning. Rad felt the hardness of the earth beneath him. The tall grasses were brushing up against his skin, and his body was aching from the long night he’d spent on the ground. He swept the grass blanket aside and sized up the frosty autumn morning. At that moment, the words of the Old One came back to him. ‘Observe life and survive. The Room is constant yet changing. Be aware.’
Now, he understood and recognized beyond doubt that he was again part of the Room. He was on the second level. He’d wanted this more than anything, and now, for better or worse, he’d made it.
He felt alone and exposed. Yet he was also elated and a bit puzzled. His stomach growled with little concern for his plight. He suddenly felt incredibly hungry. He didn’t know how long he would be here. It could be a moment more, or an eternity. This Room was so life-like that anything could happen, including starvation. Other players who had been in less sophisticated Rooms had suffered quite real and serious injuries. He couldn't take any chances.
He first emptied his bladder from the night and then realized that he needed to get some water back into his system. He could do without food for a while but not water. He stood quietly for a moment, thinking and glancing about, until he heard what he thought was the sound of a stream. A short distance away, he found it. It was rushing through the meadow near where he’d slept, rolling over rocks and glistening from the sun’s morning rays. It was a small stream. Cupping his hands, he dipped them into the clear water and drank. Its cool softness oozed down his throat. He smiled, and for just a moment, felt safe. He drank more and then decided to clean himself. He felt itchy from being under the grass and also believed that the cold water would help diminish some of his aches and pains. He removed his clothing, stepped into the stream, and washed his body from head to foot. As he became more used to the water’s temperature, he sat down in a slow moving pool. It felt especially good as he sensed the water move over and around his body. He became a part of it – raw and alive. Rad couldn’t help but laugh as a huge grin crossed his face. He was naked again, but this time in a stream in an amazing place, taking a bath - outside. He spoke aloud to himself, “God, I can’t believe this!”
He’d finally had enough of the cold and came to his feet. The water streamed off his limbs, and he shook the excess from his hair. Reaching down, he picked up his clothes and shook them as well. He thought that maybe he would clean them in the water, too, but decided against it for now. He had more important things to do. Putting his clothes back on was comforting after his brisk bath, and he thought to himself, ‘I might just survive all this.’
At that moment, his empty stomach spoke again. It was time to find some food. He remembered putting the leather book and sphere in his pocket when he was in the cave. There had been a passage in the book that discussed how you could find food in the wild. He wished he’d remembered it earlier. He reached into his pocket, but both the book and the sphere were gone. He panicked for a second and then thought that he’d probably either lost them on his walk from the ocean or they’d slipped out of his pocket during the night. He knew they’d be extremely useful, so he began retracing his steps. But…something stopped him dead in his tracks. It was the sound of a piece of wood snapping, coming from some trees nearby.
Rad stared. The sun was at such an angle now that the light was just beginning to enter the forest, and he caught sight of something moving directly in front of him. His gaze intensified, and he saw two eyes glaring back at him. He froze. He could barely see its outline, but from what he could see, it was probably a small-sized animal - its head barely reaching his hip. It was aware and skittish. Ready to run, yet curious.
He dared not move, but he wanted to see it more clearly. He squinted, and moved just a little to gain a better view. It was a living, breathing animal in the wild, and he tried to remember what it was called. The name came to him as if released from a trap. ‘Could it be?’ He knelt slowly, trying to see its legs under the bushes. ‘Four…? Yes four legs - slender, bony, strong.’ It was definitely a small deer. He rose up again, and it bounded away into the meadow.
Rad couldn't help himself. He chased after the creature. He ran as if possessed - jumping over logs, brushing against sharp tree needles, stepping on twigs, and still he ran. The animal had far outdistanced him when he came to a second meadow and noticed it had stopped and was standing completely still. Rad stopped, too, kneeled down, and watched. He wondered why it was just standing there. It wasn’t eating. It looked to be gazing intently at something. Its ears and nose were twitching - its head and eyes, frozen in place.
Then Rad heard animals growling and moving through the brush nearby. It was obvious that the deer had been aware of them long before he had. Its limbs jerked abruptly, propelling it in a panic away from the sounds. The other creatures in the meadow suddenly appeared and outnumbered the deer ten to one. They attacked, moving swiftly in on the young animal, working together and surrounding her until she was down. The kill was quick and sure. Rad could see the life leave the deer as the other creatures tore and yanked at its flesh. Their muzzles were stained red as they fed voraciously and left little in the grass to mention what had happened there.
He was stunned. He waited until the last predator had left and then walked over to where the deer had lain. Looking down, he recalled how free and vibrant it had been. He had loved to watch it move and was amazed at its strength and the power of its limbs. Now, all that remained was its blood, some bones, bits of tissue, and small pieces of flesh and hair lying on the ground. The predators had left as abruptly as they had come, and Rad was thankful that they hadn’t noticed his presence.
Kneeling down, he placed his hand onto the still-warm carcass. He touched the red liquid - the same liquid that sustained his own life. He wasn’t angry at the animals that had killed to eat. After all, he could still feel his own pangs of hunger that drove and pushed his own particular need. But he also felt a loss. The remains of the stunning creature that lay beneath him were the first real land animal he had ever seen. The book had explained and helped him understand the need for life and the importance of death. However, witnessing both, being there at the very crossroads of the two, was something else entirely.
It was almost too much to take in. ‘How am I to play this game, this Room?’ He felt more alone than ever now and was sweating, cold, hungry, and most likely in danger.
Then h
e remembered the book and the sphere. He was about to turn to go look for them once more when a massive roar broke the heavy silence and slammed into him with unbelievable force. His every muscle and sinew peeked with adrenaline. His head swung back towards the sound with furious urgency, and he set himself against what he saw. A huge creature with wild piercing eyes and strength beyond understanding was staring down at him. It was little more than ten meters away, and it drooled with anger and hunger as it positioned itself to overtake him. He froze. Complete and utter terror ripped through him. He knew that his time had come, just as the deer's had only moments before. All he could do now was stand his ground; running was senseless.
But as he glared back at the creature, he unexpectedly felt his legs and arms jerk violently. He heard a crunching sound, emanating from within his body. He didn’t take his eyes off his assailant, though, until he was yanked again - this time even more viciously as he was thrown to the ground. He stared at his body and couldn’t believe what was happening. His clothing was being ripped apart, and he was literally changing form, morphing into a completely different creature. He gained hair - coarse brownish hair. All of his limbs shortened and narrowed, especially his legs. His back flattened and lengthened. His neck elongated, and his face and head stretched. It happened in the blink of an eye, yet in Rad’s own mind, he saw it in slow motion while the agonizing pain of the transformation coursed through his body. Then he remembered the huge creature that had been poised to attack him. He forced himself to look. The creature hadn’t moved yet and was seemingly confused and hesitant. That was all the time Rad needed because in that moment of uncertainty, his transformation ended, and he began to feel the uncontrollable urge to run. He bounded off. He moved on all fours. He ran…for his life.
***
The leaves were succulent, green and flavorful, the water, cool and clear as Rad spent his time moving through the forest, living the life of the animal that had died in the meadow. It had been several days since his experience with the huge creature. He had outrun it and felt the uncontrollable joy of simply being alive. He was still confused and uncertain about this Room and where it would take him, but he was also elated at being able to live in this stunning land, wild and free.
14
The Room: Level 2
Transformations
Transformation upon transformation. Shape upon shape. Life upon life. One-celled and many-celled creatures. Plankton. Small fish. Larger fish. Sea mammals: whales, dolphins, seals, penguins. Amphibians. Reptiles. Land mammals: monkeys, giraffes, horses, bears. Birds. Insects. Spiders. Prey. Predators. Scavengers. So many forms. So many points of view. Rad was each and every one. What he learned about evolutionary and ecological progression and balance were beyond description. Life in this place was beauty personified in its creatures, plants, geological forms, chemical makeup, and the mixture of all this in a dynamic, living biosphere. Rad’s next form unfolded.
The height was extreme - the view exquisite. He floated and moved effortlessly. The lush forest below seemed perfect and true as it rushed by with speed and beauty. Flight was an awesome feeling, and Rad had become accustomed to it in a very short time. Having feathers, a beak, and talons were another matter. Everything seemed to fit, though. Everything seemed to matter. Gliding down to the ocean’s edge, the oil in his eyes filtered out the glare and allowed him to see beneath the water. He noticed a school of herring darting about as if they were one creature. Wings back, talons exposed, he dropped and plucked a single fish from the water. He soared back to his perch in a nearby tree, ripped the flesh, and consumed the energy.
‘What a world!’ he thought. The air was moist with a freshness and purity that he was only able to imagine before now.
Within this level of the Room, Rad existed in an altered state of reality, which he was beginning to accept. He had morphed over and over into various life forms and was fully aware in each of them while learning, understanding, and living their lives. He had come to love and feel a kinship for every one of them.
He thought back to his first transformation as the deer. It had been a life and death experience that he had relived many times since then. Somehow, he’d survived them all and was now sitting here, perched above the world, feeling the power and majesty of another wondrous day. And even after all of the lives he’d lived, being this particular creature might be the most unique experience he’d had. It gave him such a special view of the world, and he had no doubts that this memory would remain with him long after he was no longer in this form.
Hearing her cry, he looked up. Far above him she soared. It was time. The urge rose from deep within him. He flew to meet her, to fly with her, to mate with her. They coupled in a dive of love - the earth rushed up to meet them. She pushed away. They glided near each other with the warmth and knowledge of life continuing.
As Rad and his mate began searching for food, he noticed something moving along the ground below. It walked upright. Its awkward movements seemed out of place. He let himself glide downwards in curiosity until the creature was crisp in his vision. ‘It was human!’ Two-legged, slightly bent, and balanced on its bipedal limbs. ‘A young boy?’ He questioned his vision. It had been so long since he’d seen a human. He was torn. His original form was, of course, human, but since his evolutionary rampage had begun his allegiances had become multifaceted. He now felt that every creature was on equal footing with this...this human. He dove lower. The boy raised a forearm in defense. He clipped him slightly with his talons. There was a cry of pain, and blood oozed from the striated wounds. The boy ran for cover under the nearest tree. Rad smiled inside and thought, ‘What a strange turn of events.’
As Rad pivoted in the air and flew to rejoin his mate, he felt himself begin to reel and descend. No amount of strength or will could change the pull of gravity on him. Looking down, he saw the earth flying up towards him at a dizzying rate. His eyes locked onto the young boy’s as he catapulted downwards.
***
In the darkness, Rad could feel the warmth of hands caressing him. He was being fed a comforting broth. It boiled with steam and rich aromas, and he could hear unusual words and strange sounds all around. After taking some nourishment, he tucked himself back into a fetal position and concentrated on the dark until a voice summoned him. "Aronk. Aronk cods. Aronk."
He opened his eyes again and looked. Shapes danced across the ceiling above, and firelight bounced off figures standing in front of him. He stretched, but his limbs didn’t seem to be as responsive or limber as they should be.
It had been a woman who had spoken to him with those unusual words that sounded so cut off and simple. He looked more carefully at her body and noticed that she was humanoid, yet she was very different than anyone he had ever seen. Then he glanced at himself. His body was very similar to hers, although it was much younger and male, and his jaw felt different. His muscles were much larger; he was shorter; he had more hair, and his limbs were not quite the configuration he was used to.
The woman then glanced in his direction and motioned for him to eat more. He sat back up and did as she’d bid him to, but he also started taking in the rest of his surroundings. The smells were odd. He had been used to the aroma of outdoor creatures and had not been in a confined space with members of his own species for quite some time. The odors were strong and pungent. The cave was lit with dim light that entered from the outside and from fires within. Men and women were moving about, mingling and performing their duties with a definite but understated curiosity that he knew was directed at him. The men were bringing in meat that had obviously been gathered from a recent hunt; the women and children were preparing the food, working on what looked like garments of some type, and the youngest children were running in and out of the cave playing together.
Rad then noticed an old man working busily near the back of the cave. He watched him with intent as he saw him place the stain from hewed out bowls of colored liquid on the wall with a stick that had been chewed and frayed a
t one end. He could see shapes of large and small creatures and of men and women hunting prey and gathering food. The walls seemed to be filled with his stories – the stories of his people.
Rad turned his head as a hand was placed on his shoulder. A young girl said some words and motioned for him to follow her. He rose up slowly and moved awkwardly with her to the opening of the cave. He glanced out. A stream flowed nearby. Trees and shrubs of many unusual types graced the area. The other children in the cave snuck glances at them as the young girl took Rad by the hand and walked with him past the entrance.
She seemed to have some purpose in mind. They came to a cliff. It was evening, yet just light enough to see over a vast, flat plain that seemed to go on forever. They stood together in silence, gazing out over the expanse. Rad turned his head and looked back at the warm light from the cave and again out towards the plain. He realized at that moment that he was viewing the early beginnings of the human race.
The young girl then reached over, touched his arm, and smiled in her own fashion. He glanced at her and then down at his arm where he saw some scratches. He remembered. It had happened at the end of his last incarnation. His talons, when he had been the bird, had dug into the boy’s arm – his arm.
Rad’s eyes then jumped upwards as he heard the scream of a lone bird of prey crisscrossing the ever-darkening sky overhead. He pointed for the girl to see, and together they watched until the bird was out of sight. She reached down and took his hand again, nodding for him to follow, and then the two of them returned to the security of the cave for the night.