Lethal shook his head. “This place is too small to move on. It’s inevitable that I’ll run into her.”
“If you keep sneaking around outside her window, it’s a given,” Brutal snapped. “And her man is going to find out, too.”
Lethal scoffed. “Her man. I’m her fucking man.”
“No, you’re not. Not one of us is the man we used to be. We’re just males now. And she’s chosen him. That’s why you left her alone when you first learned she was here. She’s happy.”
“Can’t choose him if he’s not here,” Lethal muttered.
“And you can’t kill Acker any more than you can kill her. He freed you and your squad. And you know he’s a good man.”
“I know that,” Lethal said. “It’s why he still breathes.”
“You need to stop stalking her.”
“I’m going to run into her even if I could stop. And it’s not convenient for me to leave here and find lodging elsewhere at the moment.”
“So volunteer to go full rescue squad. I know your priority was searching for her. She’s safe now. I know you have vengeance to distribute. And you can do that along the way, but tell Roscoe you want to be involved in as many missions as possible. It’ll keep you traveling most of the time.”
“I could do that,” Lethal said.
“I think first you’re going to have to prove to him that you’re able to control yourself before he’ll agree to schedule you, but, it could be achieved,” Brutal advised.
“Yeah. I think I’ll have a sit down with my squad tonight. Tell ‘em what I plan. They can come with me, or stay here if they’re tired of all the violence.”
“Aren’t you tired of the violence?” Brutal asked.
Lethal smirked. “I find I have need of more of an outlet of violence recently.”
“You have got to let it go!” Brutal said.
“Working on it,” Lethal answered. “You think Feral will stay with the squad? I’m pretty sure Two needs some time off.”
“Yeah. Feral’s a good male. He’ll go wherever you go, and you can depend on him,” Brutal said.
“He is. He’s an excellent addition to the squad.”
Lethal got to his feet. “Guess I’ll go talk to my males, then find Roscoe and eat a little crow. Ask to have my squad moved to a rescue team.”
“I think it’s a good thing for you and for your males,” Brutal commented.
Lethal nodded before walking toward the door. “I won’t be here often. You’ll keep an eye on her?” he asked.
Brutal looked at Lethal and thought about telling the male one more time that she wasn’t his to protect or watch over so he needed to stop being concerned with her, but the raw pain in Lethal’s eyes made him bite his tongue on that reply.
“Yeah, Lethal. I will watch over her. I’ll make sure she’s always safe, and always happy.”
Lethal nodded again. “And you’ll let me know if she ever needs me.”
“I’m not sure what could ever cause that, but I will let you know if ever you’re needed.”
“Thanks, Brutal,” Lethal said, before slipping out of the door and walking away.
Chapter 36
Lethal left lockup which was on the opposite side of the medical clinic from Nina’s new home. While he did allow himself to glance in that direction, he went to great lengths to force himself to walk on the opposite side of the park from her home. Every step he took toward the house he shared with his squad made him feel like he actually was deserting her this time. Like he wouldn’t be close enough to protect her if she did need him. But then he reminded himself that she hated him. Even if she did need protection at any point, she’d never, ever turn to him.
Lethal broke into a jog so he could get to the house sooner and get any temptation of lurking outside Nina’s home out of his mind. He saw the house up ahead and practically jogged right through the front door he was so relieved to get there. He came to a sudden stop when he found Roscoe sitting with Valor at the computer they simply left up and running on the table at all times.
Roscoe looked at him. “I’m still pissed off at you.”
“Join the club,” Lethal said. “Why are you here?” he asked.
“Valor broke the encryption on the flash drive. And some of the registration numbers on the medical equipment have been traced successfully.”
“When do we leave?” Lethal asked.
“As soon as I’m convinced you’re not going to go off the deep end, flip out and kill everyfuckingbody you come across, and as soon as I have time to plan out the mission, or missions,” Roscoe answered.
“I was coming to find you after I talk with my squad,” Lethal admitted. “I’m actually glad to see you here. Saves me a double explanation and having to find you later.”
“Nothing’s changed. I can’t get you housing off premise at the moment. Maybe after we take some of these people into custody,” Roscoe said, paying more attention to the computer Valor was working in than Lethal.
“Into custody? Wouldn’t that be considered kidnapping? I was just going to kill ‘em,” Lethal said simply.
“Sounds like a plan,” Scorn agreed.
“I’m on board,” Feral added.
“Me, too,” Steel mumbled around a mouth full of sandwich while holding it up in the air to show he agreed.
“This is a touchy situation. There’s a meeting scheduled in two days with several trusted military higher ups at General Ferriday’s personal home. There are a couple of representatives of other branches that are also personal friends of the General’s — think CIA and FBI, attending as well. Each of them know General Ferriday or have worked in conjunction with him for years. He’s telling them about this. About the missing men, about the kidnapped females, about the facilities and about what has become of you. He’s going to explain the little bit we do know about the variant natures of each of the males we’ve rescued and how they’ve come to be that way. We’ve amassed volume after volume of documentation, including names and ranks of those of you we’ve been able to identify, as well as the crimes of those who are responsible for and complicit to what’s been done to you and the females. We’ve got everything any of you were willing to contribute so that we could do our level best to find any others still out there, and prosecute those responsible. Our concern is that this goes much higher.”
“Won’t that put those still unaccounted for in danger?” Lethal asked.
“Our objective is to have them join us. To have them endorse our mission and our efforts to keep The Alliance a protected private corporation immune to repercussions from actions that may be necessary to free others like you. We don’t want to tip any of the higher ups off that may be involved that we’re on to them, but it may be unavoidable,” Roscoe explained.
“We want restitution,” Steel said.
“That, too, is on the agenda,” Roscoe answered. “That and discussing how to keep this community protected and recognized.”
“And once it becomes an officially government sanctioned operation, we can take whoever we find into custody, and have immunity from prosecution of kidnapping or unlawfully holding someone against their will,” Lethal said.
“Exactly,” Roscoe answered.
“And if we kill a bastard?” Scorn asked.
Roscoe focused on Scorn and grinned evilly. “Must have been self-defense.”
“I want to attend this meeting,” Lethal said.
“Not even a possibility after the stunt you pulled today with Nina. She won’t even speak to me now, and the only reason Acker hasn’t assembled his team to hunt you down is because he’s aware that you did protect her to the best of your ability while in captivity,” Roscoe said.
Lethal chose to ignore the last statement Roscoe made and stayed focused on the meeting. “Who’s representing us at the meeting?”
“Law is. Law will be the legally recognized representative of the Variant people,” Roscoe said.
“That’s good. Law is strong, even-t
empered, and trustworthy,” Lethal said.
“Variant. Is that what we are now?” Two asked.
“You’re not exactly human any longer, your DNA confirms that. From the tests we’ve run on the samples those of you willing to participate donated, we’ve documented the DNA of everything from lion to snake to everything in between mixed with your own DNA and trace amounts of designer chemicals and hormones — some identified, some still unidentified. The very structure that makes you who you are has been tampered with. You’re not fully human any longer, and most of you are offended if you’re even referred to as human. But you’re certainly not animals. So, the word Variant came up as a clinical identifier for your DNA. It was mentioned and Law and his board made aware of it. They put it to a vote by all those who cared to vote. It passed — as far as those in this community are concerned, and eventually the rest of the world, hopefully — you are Variant. It’s a simple enough identifier and very, very accurate.”
Two nodded. “I’m Variant.”
“I like it,” Scorn said. “Sounds badass.”
“Agreed,” Feral said.
Lethal walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, reaching in and grabbing a bottle of water. He leaned against the counter and faced the table where Valor and Roscoe still worked.
“I need to talk to you,” he said in general to all of the males sitting in the open kitchen and living room.
All of them gave Lethal their undivided attention.
“I’m finding it difficult to focus here in Alliance. The reasons are my own and I firmly believe that once away from the distractions, I’ll be more focused, more on point, more effective in all things. I’m requesting that our squad be placed on full time offensive and rescue missions. Heavy on the offensive missions. I’ll find no greater joy than bringing down the fuckers responsible for the tortures we survived.”
Roscoe huffed a laugh. “Yeah, like after today’s behavior I’m going to willingly schedule you into situations that could quickly go to shit.”
“I’m the fucking best you’ve got, and you know it,” Lethal shouted.
“What I know is you’re unstable. And it doesn’t matter how fucking good you are if you can’t control yourself.”
“I’m unstable because the single focus that’s kept me sane is living with the man that freed us! I’m unstable because it drives me fucking insane thinking of him touching what’s mine! That’s why I want the hell away from here. You can’t give me that, so send me on every mission you have so that I can stay the fuck away from here and her and remain focused.”
Roscoe watched Lethal while he explained passionately what had him losing his shit lately. “What’s to keep the thought of them from making you lose your self-control while you’re out there?” Roscoe asked.
Lethal took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He’d hoped he wouldn’t have to go into too much detail, but it looked like that wasn’t going to happen. “Because I won’t be near enough to her to hear her laughter. I won’t be near enough to scent her when she’s fresh from the shower, or hear her gasps when she’s with her man. I’ll be far from here.”
Roscoe raised his eyebrows. “You’ve been stalking them?” he asked incredulously.
“No! I have not. I’ve been making sure she’s truly happy and that he treats her well when no one is watching.”
Roscoe shook his head in disbelief, just watching Lethal with a shocked look on his face. “You’ve been stalking them.”
“If he’s not close to Nina, he’s fine. It’s just the being close that pushes him to be possessive,” Two said.
“Two’s right,” Valor agreed.
“Don’t see nothing wrong with any of it,” Scorn commented.
“Of course, you wouldn’t,” Roscoe snarked, shooting a scathing look at Scorn.
“Seriously. I just need distance,” Lethal said, his tone not intimidating, not arrogant, just sincere.
Roscoe didn’t answer, just held Lethal’s gaze for a few moments before Feral interrupted their exchange.
“That’s what you wanted to tell us? To be ready to go at a moment’s notice?” Feral asked.
“Not exactly. I wanted to let each of you know, that if you’ve had enough, I fully understand. I’ve seen some of the males here just be content to walk away from the violence, the military aspect of our lives. Some of them want nothing but a quiet existence, and I get it. There’s nothing wrong with that, no shame in it. So, if any of you aren’t up for the increase in missions, the time away from Alliance. Just step away. Step away from the team and make your lives here, or wherever it is you plan to be once they allow you to leave if you decide that’s what you want.”
“Like fuck I’d step away from this team! It’s all I’ve ever known. Literally. I don’t have no flashes like Valor does. I don’t have hints of what I used to be, and don’t really give a damn. I’m here, ride or die, Lethal — I’m in,” Scorn said.
“Me, too. I’m in,” Steel said.
“I’m right beside you. Tell me what you need, I’m your male. I’ll get it done,” Feral said.
Lethal didn’t give Valor or Two time to speak before he interrupted his team as they pledged allegiance to him and their squad. “If any of you want to step away from the squad, just remember that you’ll always be my brothers. We will always be there for each other. I will always make time for you whenever I am here in Alliance, and I hope you’ll make time for me, too.”
“Yeah! Me, too,” Steel said enthusiastically.
“Yeah! Ya’ll are all my blood!” Scorn said.
“I’m not ready to step back yet,” Valor said. “Too much I still need to be a part of, but maybe one day…” he said.
“Fair enough. I don’t mean just today. If at any time you need another way of life, just say so,” Lethal said.
Two sat there, looking at his brothers in arms. Listening to the things each of them said. He was tired of all the misery, all the blood and all the violence. “But if we did step away, what is there to do? I could never just sit around,” he said.
Roscoe had previously spoken to Lethal about making room for Two somewhere in Alliance. A job that he would enjoy away from having to kill, or even manhandle anyone for that matter.
“Lots of things you can do here, Two. Construction — we’re planning to replace all the temporary aluminum buildings with permanent structures, or working in one of the buildings like the supply store or the recreation center, or even security. Security keeps the perimeter secure, but they also guard the women’s barracks and the medical clinic. And they keep a low key presence just day to day inside Alliance in case they have to defuse any confrontations between residents. Hell, we’re even training some of the males to be mechanics. We’ll need upkeep on the helicopters, and the side-by-sides that we drive around here. You could even work with the animals General Ferriday keeps on another part of his ranch. He’s got horses and cows. He’s spoken about turning the cattle over to us for their care and upkeep, and having that act as a partial support for the community. Cattle ranches can be highly profitable. I even overheard Law saying they needed to hire a couple of delivery drivers just to keep up with all the online orders that were being delivered. You’d meet the UPS and FedEx drivers up front of the General’s home and deliver the packages to whoever’s ordered them.”
“Really?” Two said, perking up and smiling. “I think I’d like to do that. People would smile when I knocked on their door. They’d be happy to see me. I think I’d like that for a change.”
“If you want it, it’s yours,” Roscoe said.
“What if I don’t have any packages to deliver?” Two asked. “Sometimes there may not be any.”
“Well, then maybe you could run other errands for those that don’t really want to interact. You could bring them meals and supplies. They’d be happy to see you because they wouldn’t have to leave their homes to go eat or get what they need. We’ll make your number known around here and anyone that needs somet
hing can call you to bring it to them. Between that and packages, your day should be pretty full.”
Two grinned. “I want people to smile when they see me.”
“You sure that’s what you want, Two?” Lethal asked.
Two turned his gaze to Lethal. “It is. I’m tired, Lethal. I’m so tired of all the death and suffering. I wasn’t made for it, you know?” he asked.
Lethal smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I do know. You’re a better male than most of us. I’m surprised you hung in for this long.”
“I had to make sure you were covered. You have Feral now, and he’s a lot like you. You don’t need me now and I just can’t do it anymore,” Two said honestly, his eyes getting glassy as he tried to hold his emotions inside.
“I’ll always need you, Two. I’ll always need to know that you are my brother and friend. I’ll always need to know that you’re here, wishing us the best,” Lethal said. “But I’ll be better myself knowing that you’re finding a better way of life for yourself. Knowing that you’re not suffering like you were. And besides, it’s not like we’re not going to see you. You’ll still live here, and we’ll see you when we’re on premise.”
Two got up and walked over toward Lethal who pushed off the counter and moved toward Two. They met in the middle and hugged in that manly patting of backs way that males do. “I’ll miss you every day, though” Two said, “but not the life you gotta live.”
“I’ll miss you, too, Two,” Lethal said.
“Two, too,” Scorn said. “Sounds like a ballet dress. Tutu!” he said again in a high-pitched, feminine voice, holding his fingers up and out to his sides like he was pinching a fluffy tutu in them and performing a clumsy circle.
“Good luck with that,” Two said, tilting his head toward Scorn and rolling his eyes.
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