by Peter Glenn
I heard a loud gasp, and then Bevan was falling on top of me. The two of us tumbled to the ground, him on top, and I yelped as the wind was forced out of my lungs and the ground came up to smack me in the back of the head.
Stars swam in my vision and I squirmed as hard as I could, but Bevan’s dead weight was holding me, pinning me to the ground. It appeared I’d been effective at killing him, but he’d managed to pin me anyway. So in a way, we both won.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Half-Naked Guy, or Conall, as he was called, come up to where I was laying, pinned on the ground. He was laughing and brandishing that rather large sword of his in his hands.
“Heh heh heh,” he said as he sauntered in my direction. “You lose, small man.” He flashed me a grin and I could see that his mouth was missing a couple more teeth than last time.
Was that my doing? I couldn’t remember how hard I’d hit him last night, but I vaguely remembered him having nearly a full set of chompers the first time we’d met.
“Yeah?” I spat back at him. “Well, only because your buddy here can’t lay off the cheeseburgers, you know what I mean?”
Conall frowned at me, and his eyes took on a confused look. He shook his head. “It’s no matter, you’re still a dead man.”
I struggled once again to push Bevan off me, or at least wrest my katana free so I wasn’t completely helpless, but it didn’t make a lick of difference. I was stuck.
“Pfft. At least I won’t die smelling like a barn. I mean seriously, dude, you guys need to learn how to take a bath,” I told him, hoping to get under his skin just a little. I wrinkled my nose and waved my hand in front of my nose. “Phew!”
Conall growled at me and raised his sword over his head. From here, it looked like he was going to skewer both me and Bevan in one stroke. Which I guess was one good way to handle it, seeing as his friend would just come back to life, and I would not. He stood there for a moment, holding the sword and grinning at me like an idiot.
“Oh, just get on with it already!” I begged.
Conall reared back just a bit and I closed my eyes, but the blow didn’t come. I heard a whoosh and felt something hot as a fireball flew over me, slamming into Conall.
The Celtic warrior flew backward a couple of feet and screamed as another fireball smacked into him a second later.
“Get away from him!” Sheila screamed. I looked over at her. There was a tiny red line on her neck from where Arlan’s dagger had bit into her skin, and her finger had a small droplet of blood on it as well. She had another fireball in her hands.
Conall screamed something I didn’t understand and rushed her, so she let the last fireball fly. It hit Conall right in the chest, and he fell to the ground in a burning heap, smelling worse than his buddy.
I wasn’t sure just how bad of an injury these guys could come back from, but I was guessing being burned to cinders wasn’t on the list. Sucks for Conall.
Sheila walked over to me and beamed down at me. “Hey there, stranger,” she said. “Need a hand?”
I grinned back up at her. “Yeah, if you could get this deadweight off me, that’d be handy.”
I shoved on him, and Sheila pulled as well. Even Rick got in on the action a little bit. Before too long, I was finally free from being crushed to death.
“Thank you, both of you,” I said, my eyes going from Sheila to Rick.
“I’m sorry, Damian,” Sheila said, the words spilling out of her so fast they almost ran together. “If I hadn’t allowed myself to get caught, we’d still have the circlet and-”
“Stop,” I said, putting a hand out to calm her. “If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me. It’s my fault we’re all in this mess. I got you involved in this.”
“Nonsense,” Sheila replied. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You couldn’t have known all of this was going to happen.”
“She’s right, you know,” Rick chimed in.
I shook my head and let out a sigh. “No, you two don’t get it. It really is all my fault. I’m the one who let Queen Boudicca free when I went after Grax’thor in the first place. If I hadn’t been so greedy, so focused on my own problems, none of this would have ever happened.”
The area went silent for a moment as I let that information sink in.
Rick, of all people, was the first one to break the silence. He put a hand on my back and patted me. “Hey, Sheila’s right. You couldn’t have known what was going to happen. This isn’t all your fault.”
Unbeknownst to good old Rick, his words brought a hint of a tear to my eye. He was starting to care for me!
I raised my head to look into his eyes. There was a hint of kindness there, and maybe… understanding? But how could that even be possible? How could he understand any of this? He didn’t even believe in magic.
And yet, here he was.
“Thanks, Rick,” I said, sniffing slightly and raising a hand to my face to cover up the tear as it finally fell. “That means a lot, buddy.”
Rick blushed a little. It was only there for a second, but it was there. “Aww,” he said, “don’t worry about it.”
He retracted his hand and looked away from me, and just like that, the moment was gone and he went back to his usual grumpy expression.
“So,” I said, “what should we do next?”
Rick scrunched his nose. “What do you mean? We lost, remember?”
Sheila nodded. “Yeah. They have everything now. Mei, Grax’thor, and the circlet. They can cast the binding ritual. And we still don’t know where they are.”
“True…” I said, rubbing my chin gently. “But I can’t give up. Not just yet. Not while Mei is still breathing. If there’s anything I can do to stop them, I’ll do it.”
I know what you’re thinking. Quite the change of attitude from this morning, huh? I’d been all doom and gloom then. Well, to be honest, that wasn’t my proudest moment. I’d just lost a fight to a bunch of goons and wrecked a car I couldn’t afford to replace. I hadn’t been thinking straight.
But Mei? Mei was my whole world at times. Yes, because she might know how to end my immortality peacefully, but also because she was my friend. She’d been there through all the dark times. Like the 70s. Now there was a dark time. And she’d seen me through all of it.
She deserved my best effort. Besides, I still had an ace up my sleeve.
Rick and Sheila were looking at me dumbfounded. I puffed up my chest a bit to look taller. “Well, there’s only one thing to do, then,” I told them. “We need to find their base.”
I glanced over at where Bevan was lying in a pool of his own blood. “And I think I know just how to do it. Here, help me drag Mr. Stankface into the car.”
I hadn’t been exaggerating about that part. These Celtic warrior guys really did stink.
My fingers reached for the switch on the side of the wall in Sheila’s basement, and I flicked it upward. A harsh, bright light filled the small room, blinding me for just a second.
It was about ten in the morning, meaning I was running out of time. This was the third day. The dragons would start their attack in a little under nine hours. Not exactly a lot of time to find Boudicca’s hidden base, get there, free Mei, and put a stop to the queen’s evil schemes.
But I had hope. I was pretty sure this plan would work. At least, it always did in the movies I’d watched. I’d never really had occasion to try it out myself.
Rick, Sheila, and I had all taken turns napping this morning so none of us would have to go take on a Celtic army - at least I was assuming Boudicca would have an army by now - on no sleep. I couldn’t see that working out well for any of us.
While two of us were sleeping, the other had been down here, waiting for some sort of movement or sign of life from our little house guest. But so far, nothing had happened.
I walked over to where Bevan’s corpse sat, tied up to the chair, the single piece of furniture in the whole room. Late in the night, I’d welded a piece of metal to the floor next to the chair a
nd threaded all the ropes through it. I had no idea just how strong Bevan was, but I didn’t want to take any chances when he did wake that he’d be able to escape.
I flashed my hand in front of his glassy eyes, but as I expected, nothing happened.
How long did it take for their corpses to reanimate again? Less than a day, obviously, but how much less was anyone’s guess. Of course, it was also possible that Boudicca had abandoned him, since he’d been captured and all, but I was really hoping that wasn’t the case.
“Bevan!” I shouted. Still nothing. “Hey, dickweed!”
This time, there was a tiny hint of motion. The half-closing of one eyelid, perhaps. It had been almost imperceptible, but I was certain I’d seen it. Then it was gone, and he was still once more.
“Come on, chump! Up and at ‘em!” Once again, it was useless.
I wondered briefly how Rick was getting along with Sheila. Both of them were awake now. Sheila was doing what she did best - baking cookies. Rick, on the other hand, was poring through that old Celtic grimoire we’d found, looking for a way to stop the ritual. Or at the very least, redirect it.
“Hey, fart-breath!” I yelled at Bevan’s corpse. This time, there was discernible movement. Not much, just a twitch or two in a finger, but it was there.
Was hurling insults at his corpse really helping him come to? I was good with that.
“Needle nose!” I shouted. “Fart muncher! Dingbat! Gator breath! Dickless swine herder! Get up already!”
All at once, Bevan’s body started to convulse. I imagined his arms would have flailed all over the place, but tied down as he was, that wasn’t possible. Instead, his body shook, and I heard the distinct sound of him pulling in a rather large breath.
Whether or not it was because of my string of insults or it was just his time to wake up, no one would ever know. But it was totally the insults. I was particularly fond of fart muncher. His breath was something else.
“Bevan!” I shouted again.
My prisoner blinked his eyes a few times, and the glassy look slowly faded, replaced by two dark, beady eyes. Bevan’s head jerked a few times, and then he looked at me and his eyes narrowed and darkened further.
“That’s right, asshat, look up here,” I taunted him.
Bevan tried to yell at me, but he was still gagged, so it all came out garbled. Instead, his hands shook like he wanted to grab me and strangle me to death, but again, it was no use. He was held fast. My handiwork held him fast.
I laughed a dry, haughty laugh and the sound echoed around the small room. “Not so tough now, are you, big guy?” I lowered my head until my face was practically next to his. “Immortality isn’t all it’s cracked up to be this time, is it?”
Bevan groaned a few more times, and his head shook vigorously. He pushed upward so hard that his chair did move a little bit, but only very little. I was shocked that he’d gotten it to move at all, but even the strongest ropes have a little slack.
“Now, now, Bevan,” I said. I tsked at him a few times, wagging my finger in his face. “That kind of behavior’s not going to get you very far, but if you answer my questions truthfully, I might just let you go back to your little buddies.” I stood up as tall as I could and looked down on him. “Deal?”
He sat there for a moment, his eyes looking cross, then finally he looked at me and nodded.
“Good boy, Bevan. I knew we could play well together.” I gave him my best smile.
I reached my hands behind his head and started working on the gag. His death breath wafted over me, and I had to stifle a cough. Within a minute or so, I’d loosened the gag enough to pull it out of his mouth.
The second his lips were free, he tried to snap at me with his sharp little teeth and bite off my nearby finger. I pulled the digit backward and stared at it for a second like it was on fire. Then I backhanded Bevan across the face.
“Not good, Bevan,” I said, tsking again. “I give you a hint of freedom, and this is how you repay me?”
Bevan’s head lolled around for a second before he straightened it back up. When he glared up at me, I could see a little rivulet of blood streaming down his lip where I’d hit him. I must have hit him harder than I’d thought.
“Go to hell,” Bevan spat at me.
“Happily,” I replied. “And I’d be only too happy to take you there with me, if you’d just stay dead for longer than half a day.”
Bevan grinned a little at that one.
“Still, that’s mighty high talk for someone in your position,” I continued. “Captured by the enemy, bound to a chair, unable to move or do anything for yourself. Not exactly a position of power, is it Bevan?”
“Pfft,” he said. “My friends will come for me.” He grinned at me again. “And then you’ll be the one who’s bound and helpless.” He scoffed. “If you’re even that lucky.”
I cocked my head to the side. “Will they, now?” I waved my arms around the room. “I don’t see them here, Bevan. You’ve been gone for hours now. If they wanted to come get you, they’d have done it by now.”
“Humph. Shows how little you know,” Bevan spat.
“Oh?” I gave him a curious look. “Well, why don’t you illuminate me, then?”
“They’ll be here tonight, after the binding ritual is complete!” he said, looking rather smug. “Then you’ll see just how big a fool you’ve been!”
I laughed just a little. “Tonight, you say? So the ritual is being held tonight? Why thank you, Bevan. You’re quite the little font of information.”
The little smug smile he’d been brandishing wiped off his face nice and fast. “Hey! You tricked me!”
I nodded. “Indeed I did, Bevan. And there’s more where that came from, too.”
“Humph,” he said. He shut his lips and turned his face away from me. “That’s all you’re getting out of me. A fat lot of good it’s going to do you.”
“Oh come on, Bevan, don’t be a spoilsport.” I put my hand on his cheek to try and turn his face to look at me, but it wouldn’t budge, so I circled around him until he was looking at me again instead.
Bevan humphed again and spun his head the other way.
“Children,” I sighed. “They can be so hard to manage.” Whether or not Bevan understood that was also an insult aimed at him was hard to gauge, since he was still facing away from me. “Still, what can you do? I need information, and you have it. Where’s your base, Bevan? Where is everyone hiding?”
Complete silence greeted me. I could barely even hear him breathing.
“Now, now, Bevan. I can do this the easy way or the hard way.”
I’d never been much for torture. Watching a master interrogator at work was something I’d been forced to do in my youth more than once as a minor member of the Chinese royalty. It had never sat well with me. There were so many more humane ways to get information. So I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to resort to it in this instance.
Again, there was nothing but silence.
“Fine,” I said, sighing again. “If I have to do this the hard way, I won’t hesitate.”
Still, Bevan said nothing.
I ran around to the front and backhanded him again so hard I heard his neck snap backward. It wasn’t enough to break it, but it didn’t sound pleasant.
His head spun around for a moment, but he eventually regained full control and turned his gaze away from me again, not even making a sound.
I wasn’t sure if it was bravado, or if his type just didn’t feel pain. I’d seen Arlan and Conall go through some pretty painful stuff in our earlier conflicts without so much as wincing. Heck, I’d almost severed Bevan’s arm last night, and he hadn’t so much as slowed his approach. Maybe pain really didn’t have any effect on them.
Which was just as well for me. It meant I wouldn’t have to keep up the torturer act, after all.
“One more chance, Bevan. Where is your base?” I said it in the firmest voice I could, but once again, he didn’t say anything.
&nb
sp; “Fine.” I shook my head and sighed. “Have it your way. Stew in here a while longer. We’ll see how willing you are to talk once you’ve been stewing down here alone for a few hours in the darkness.”
I went around to the front of him and glared down at him for a minute but did nothing. I was trying to instill fear in him, but I didn’t think it was working. Oh well. I bent down and checked the ropes that had him held to the chair.
“Let’s see you get out of that,” I said, giving the main knot a good shake. “If you’re even man enough to try.”
With that, I flicked the switch on the wall to douse the lights and went up the stairs, closing the door behind me.
Sheila and Rick were waiting for me at the top of the stairs. Sheila had a small plate of cookies in her hands. Rick was holding onto the grimoire like his life depended on it. Both had harried expressions.
“So?” Rick said. “You get anything from him?”
I wanted to answer him, but I was also starving, and Sheila’s cookies were just too yummy. I snatched one off of her plate and shoved it into my mouth.
“Oh my gosh,” I mumbled through bites of cookie. “These are even better than yesterday! Did you add more sugar or something?”
Sheila grinned at me. “I added double the white chocolate chips. Just the way you like them.”
“They’re divine!” I wolfed another one down while I spoke.
Rick was tapping his foot, glaring at me. “Back to business, eh Damian?” he said through a scowl.
“Oh! Right. About that.” I swallowed the rest of my current cookie and cleared my throat. My eyes kept trailing toward the cookie plate as my tummy growled. “Bevan woke up.”
Both Rick and Sheila gasped in unison.
“It’s all good. I wasn’t in any danger. Those knots of yours are really good, Rick.”
He beamed at me.
“Boy Scouts?”
Rick gave me an inquisitive look, and I waved a hand dismissively. “It doesn’t matter. Anyway, I tried to interrogate our little prisoner, but I didn’t come up with much. Only that the ritual hasn’t happened yet, but not where it’s going to take place.” I paused for a second to catch my breath. “But wherever it is, it’s going down tonight. I’m certain of that.”