Marriage For One

by Maise, Ella

  All I wanted to do was go upstairs, take a shower so I could feel like a normal human being again, and take a long, long nap. So, that’s what I decided to go ahead and do. I took off my shoes next to the door and headed straight for the stairs.

  “I’ll jump in the shower and just try to get myself back together.” I turned around and started walking backward, my eyes on Jack. “Would you like to join me?”

  “Rose.”

  One word, my name, which had gained a new meaning lately. It meant no.

  “I meant for cleaning purposes only, but suit yourself, buddy. Do you have work to do? You came to the hospital with me and now you’re here so I’m guessing you need to catch up with things because of me.”

  “I’ll be in my office.”

  “Okay. I’ll come bug you as soon as I’m done.” Waving at him, I finally turned back around and trotted up the stairs.

  “Rose?”

  I looked down at Jack, my husband who was in fact not my husband, who had held my ankle during the entire MRI scan and then wrapped me in his arms while whispering that I was okay, that we were okay again and again in the privacy of a little hospital room. I didn’t think he understood how much it meant to me. It was getting harder and harder with each passing day to hold myself back and not tell him what I was feeling for him, what I had been feeling for him for quite a while now.

  “Yes?”

  “You’re good.”

  It wasn’t a question. I wasn’t sure if it was a statement or not, either. He wanted me to be good, so I’d be good, for him, so he’d feel good.

  I gave him a small smile. “Never better.”

  “You should try harder—it doesn’t seem to be working.”

  My smile got bigger and I saluted him, disappearing from his sight.

  * * *

  There was a small knock on my door before it cracked open. “Rose?”

  “If you don’t want to have sex with me don’t come in,” I warned the only person who could be knocking on my door.

  Despite my warning, he opened it and stood there in all his glory. Same suit, same everything, face and frown and all.

  I stood there in my thankfully matching sky blue bra and panties. I was standing with the towel in my hands, and I kept standing there as his hungry eyes took in every inch of my half-naked body. I had hips, but I liked them. I liked that there was a curve to me, a curve that loved the touch of his hands. While my boobs weren’t anything too spectacular, Jack didn’t seem to agree. I’d never been happier to have almost C cups as I’d been when I’d caught his eyes on them a time or two. In any case, we stood just like that, him in the doorway with eyes glued to me, me in the middle of the room with my body heating. I didn’t think anyone would describe me as shy, but I felt a touch of heat on my cheeks when the seconds ticked by and Jack didn’t say anything.

  “Hi?” I managed to croak out.

  His eyes snapped to me and his jaw hardened, making him even hotter. I truly loved it when his face turned all prickly and frustrated and angry and arrogant and heated and hungry and annoyed and all the things. “Hi,” he forced out.

  Gulping, I brought the towel I had been using to dry my hair to my front and somewhat tried to conceal my nakedness. It wouldn’t help much with anything because it was only a little bigger than a hand towel.

  “How can I help you?” I groaned on the inside. Me being horny was all the doctor’s fault. I’d never in my life asked any of my boyfriends if they were in the mood to have sex, let alone begged someone to have sex with me as much as I’d begged Jack.

  There was something about him. Maybe if we had done it once, I would have stopped thinking and talking about it all the time. Maybe he’d be excruciatingly bad—but I knew he wouldn’t be. I knew what he’d do to me, and I couldn’t wait.

  “Are you free for dinner?” His voice was still tight, as was his grip on the door handle, and that was a question I hadn’t heard in a while.

  “I’ll have to check my schedule.”

  I didn’t move. Then I smiled, making my way to him. It wasn’t a seductive smile or anything like that; I wasn’t trying to be sexy at all. I honestly wouldn’t have known how or what to do to begin to seduce a guy like Jack. I’d imagine for a guy like him to be impressed, you’d have to pull out all the stops, maybe do a light striptease as you were walking toward him and then just go for it. Or, what would be even better…you’d be so spectacular that he’d just couldn’t stop himself and go for you.

  He hadn’t gone for me, hence why I kept mentioning it. Basically I was trying to seduce him by badgering him on the subject and hoped he’d get frustrated enough to actually do it just to have me shut up, because I figured that worked too.

  I stopped in front of him, looking up at him and smiling. “I checked.”

  He arched an eyebrow, his eyes not even dipping to my boobs once. I didn’t find that reassuring at all. “And?”

  “I’m free. I’m free every day.”

  “Finally. Get ready. We’re going out on a date.”

  As soon as he got those words out, he took a step back and slammed the door in my face. I stared at the door in shock then broke into happy laughter.

  I opened the door to see his retreating back.

  “Our first official date?” I yelled after him before he could get to the stairs.

  “Yes,” he yelled back, his voice angry. A shiver worked through my body.

  “Where are we going? Can I ask?”

  “No.”

  “Where are you going? Can I at least ask that?” I was lucky he wasn’t looking back because my face was sporting the most ridiculous smile in the world.

  “Out,” he snapped, making his way downstairs.

  “Out? Where are you going? What about our date?”

  He paused on the last step and finally looked at me. I was hanging from the rail, still in my underwear, face flushed and happy.

  His gaze was piercing. “I’ll wait for you downstairs.”

  “But why are you leaving?”

  “Because you’re pushing me.”

  My mouth dropped open.

  “I’m pushing you?” I took a step down the stairs. “I didn’t say a thing.”

  “Don’t come down here, Rose.”

  I paused.

  “I’m pushing you?” I started again. “How about you coming into my room and staring at me like that?”

  “How did I—never mind. I’m waiting for you downstairs. I don’t trust you.”

  I started laughing in earnest, so happy, happy, happy. I caught his lip twitch.

  “Take as much time as you need. I’ll wait for you downstairs.”

  “Okay. Promise I won’t be long. You can keep Steve company.”

  “Yes. How did I not think of that? I’ll just go do that.”

  When I couldn’t see him anymore, I shouted after him from my perch on the stairs. “What should I wear? What kind of date is it?”

  “It’s a date—what else do you need to know? And I don’t care what you wear as long as you cover yourself up, neck to toe.”

  I did exactly that. I wore a black dress that wasn’t too flashy. Short sleeves, open V neck, a relaxed fabric that gently hugged both my boobs and my hips and ended four or five inches above my knees. I roughly dried my thick hair and straightened my bangs because I wasn’t interested in getting a cold from walking out the door with wet hair on a snowy New York night. I did my makeup, focusing heavily on the eyes. I wore my thick black coat and wrapped my scarf around my neck, also donning my black leather gloves. Grabbing my cream ribbed beret from the top shelf of my closet, I put it on my head and walked out of the apartment in a hurry. I couldn’t exactly run yet because of my brain and nose thing, but I came close to it.

  My heart jumping in my chest and my tummy filled with those excited butterflies, I felt like I was going out on my first ever date with a boy I’d had a crush on for years. It was a strange feeling being so excited about a simple date, but this was Jac
k Hawthorne, my pretend husband who knew how to kiss me exactly the right way. How could I not have been excited?

  When the elevator doors opened, I forced myself to take smaller steps just in case Jack was waiting for me in the lobby. He wasn’t. I stopped in front of Steve.

  “How do I look?”

  He smiled at me and I beamed back at him. “As beautiful as ever.”

  “Maybe I should tone down the happy a little?”

  He let out a roar of laughter. “Don’t ever tone down the happy, Rose. It suits you well.”

  I melted a little at his words. “You’re the best, Steve.”

  He inclined his head. “So? What’s the special occasion?”

  “My husband is taking me out for a date,” I said proudly.

  “Lucky lady. That’s as special as it gets.”

  “Oh, you have no idea.”

  “Mr. Hawthorne said he’ll be waiting for you outside.”

  “Okay.” I ran my gloved hands down my coat now that there was some unexpected nervousness trickling in. “Thank you, Steve. I’ll see you later?”

  “I’ll be right here. Have fun.”

  Saying a quick goodbye to the kind doorman who had become my friend, I walked out onto the street. It had started snowing again, adding to the snow- and slush-covered sidewalks. I looked up at the skies and closed my eyes, little snowflakes melting on my face, tickling me. I smiled. I felt so giddy and free. I looked around to find Jack and he was right there, on the left side of the building. He leaned against his car, right next to Raymond, studying me.

  My heart soared at the sight of him, as it always did lately, and I truly felt like I hadn’t ever felt any happier in my life. I couldn’t help myself—I ran to his side just as he became alert and straightened up. He said something to Raymond and after nodding at Jack, Raymond opened his door and got into the driver’s seat, leaving Jack to me.

  I stopped right in front of him, just a tad out of breath.

  He pushed my bangs out of my eyes, the tips of his fingers gently trailing the contours of my face. “You aren’t supposed to run, Rose.”

  I moved my head up and down, and he sighed as I grinned. “So?”

  “What am I gonna do with you?”

  I shrugged. “Keep me?”

  He reached for my beret and fixed it on my head then, with his hands cupping my face, he leaned down and kissed me. His hands were warm on my cheeks, his lips even warmer and more addictive. I grabbed his wrists to hold him there just a little longer. When we’d had a taste of each other, not enough of a taste but a small sample, he pulled back and looked into my eyes.

  “You’re going to be the death of me,” he said with all the seriousness in the world.

  And I think I love you, I wanted to say, but instead I gave him my biggest smile.

  His laughter was everything to me. My eyes and heart warmed just looking at him.

  He was all mine.

  “Get in the car.”

  I repeated his own words back to him: “Always ordering me around.”

  He gave me a blank look with an arched eyebrow and I smiled sweetly. He opened the door and slid in right after me. I rarely sat on the other end anymore. Usually, he wanted me to be right next to him, and what do you know, so did I. At that moment, my thigh was resting against his. We were sitting that close, and I couldn’t have been any happier.

  I shivered a little once he closed the door, and I ran my hands up and down my arms. “It’s really cold tonight.”

  One at a time, he picked up my gloved hands and rubbed them between his own.

  Oh, I really wanted to keep him.

  The car ride didn’t take long, and when we were dropped off in front of the cutest little Italian restaurant, I was pleasantly surprised. To be honest, I hadn’t been looking forward to heading to a crowded, fancy place. This place, however, was anything but fancy. Jack had my hand in his as we walked down two steps to enter the restaurant. All the cute little tables had those red checkered tablecloths, every table that was occupied had two small candles burning on it, and I couldn’t wait to get my own candles. Jack talked to the woman who came forward to greet us, and she took us to one of the tables right in front of the big window. At the table right next to us sat a grandpa and his grandson, and they were biting into their first slices of pizza.

  I could hear my stomach growling. I took off my gloves first then my beret and my scarf, and then finally my coat. Jack was in the process of pulling my chair back when he stopped moving. I pressed my lips flat and tried to keep in my smile. He cleared his throat and came unstuck. I sat down, and he took his spot across from me.

  He looked at me for a long moment before he let out a long breath. “You take my breath away, Rose Hawthorne.”

  Whoosh—there went my own breath. That was as real and as perfect as it got. “Is this one of those times?”

  “Yes.”

  Clearing my throat, I leaned my elbows on the table and rested my head on my hands. “That’s a good start. Keep going.”

  He smiled then his eyes slowly dropped to my boobs.

  Finally!

  “I thought I told you to cover yourself up, head to toe.”

  “And I listened to you,” I agreed easily. “I wore my coat, my scarf, my gloves, my beret. I wore everything I could wear.”

  “Nice try,” he countered, shaking his head. “It’s freezing out there—you’re gonna get sick.”

  “I won’t. It’s all cozy and warm and perfect in here.”

  A kid who barely looked sixteen dropped off our menus, cutting into our conversation. I dropped my elbows from the table and started checking out the options. The kid next to us was chattering away and making his grandpa laugh, and it just lifted my mood even more. I looked up from the menu and around the restaurant, noticing the other few customers, and I realized we were extremely overdressed.

  I leaned in toward Jack, and he looked at me quizzically. “Come here,” I whispered.

  “Why?”

  He looked so suspicious and adorable in a grumpy way that I had to laugh. “Just lean in closer.”

  He did so carefully.

  “I think we’re a bit overdressed.”

  His shoulders relaxed before he looked around, and I had to bite my lip to hold in my laughter. Did he think I’d jump on him?

  “I like it though,” I continued before he had a chance to say anything, and his eyes came back to me. “I feel special. I know this isn’t your usual type of place at all, so I appreciate that you’re doing this for me even more. Thank you.”

  “You don’t have to thank me, Rose. It’s as much for me as it is for you, and it’s just dinner. It doesn’t matter where we are as long as we’re together.”

  “Ah, you just killed me, and that’s true. That’s really true.”

  “I’m still glad you approve.”

  “Yes, you did well. You might get lucky. Eventually.”

  Another head shake as he put his menu down. “You don’t give up, do you?”

  I groaned and hid my face behind my hands. “It’s not me, I promise. It’s the doctor.”

  “What do you mean it’s the doctor?” He reached out and pulled my hands down as if he couldn’t not have eyes on my face—at least that was what I liked to think.

  “I do want you, I’m not gonna lie about that, but I’m not like this. I’m never like this. This is only happening because he said…” Looking at the grandpa and grandson next to me, I whispered, “It’s because he said I can’t have sex. Now I want all the sex. You can’t tell me I can’t do something. Then all I wanna do is…well, it. It’s the allure of the forbidden. You’re not like that?”

  “You either want something or you don’t. What does what other people say have anything to do with it?”

  I leaned back. “Of course you’d say that.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  I waved my hand in the air. “You’re…you. You’re very disciplined. I don’t think anyone
or anything can affect you. Like you love to say, you can control yourself.”

  “You affect me.”

  I smiled. It was a slow and happy one. “You affect me too.”

  “So, correct me if I’m wrong: if the doctor had said it’s okay to have sex, you—”

  “Jack!” I snapped, reaching across to put my hand over his mouth.

  “What?” he muttered.

  Tilting my head to the side, I gestured to the duo sitting next to us with my eyes.

  Jack looked up and sighed. I supposed it was his version of asking for deliverance.

  “Just skip the word, but keep going,” I prompted as I sat back down.

  “If he had said it was okay to…do it, you wouldn’t be asking me to do it every day?”

  “Well, I imagine I’d still want you, but I’m not sure I’d say it out loud, and definitely not this much. Two months after the surgery…well, since then I’m extremely…whatever.” Feeling my face flush, I pressed the back of my hand to my cheek.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, just a little hot in here.”

  “Finish your sentence.”

  We locked eyes and I managed to hold his intense gaze for a whopping ten seconds.

  “Horny,” I said, my voice frustrated and maybe a little louder than I was anticipating. “Horny,” I repeated, more to myself this time.

  The hostess, the girl who had walked us to our table, came back. “Hi. Welcome again. What can I get you folks?”

  Jack and I were still staring at each other, and I didn’t want to be the first one to break eye contact. It was him doing stuff like this that was making me fall for him more and more. His intense gaze managed to touch all sorts of places, and when he was looking at me like that, I lost my mind a little.

  “Hi,” I said brightly, and Jack finally moved his gaze to the girl. I sighed in relief and slumped in my seat. I’d just told him I was horny. Nice choice of word, for sure.

  “You want to share a pizza or are you going with pasta?”

  I quickly returned back to the world. “Pizza.”

  “What do you want on—”

  “Mushrooms,” I blurted out. “And maybe artichokes too.”