by Maise, Ella
“Just perfect,” I muttered under my breath.
“Excuse me, sir?”
Trying to snap out of my bad mood, I shook my head. “Nothing. How’s your girl?”
His smile got bigger. “She is very well. Thank you for asking.”
“Of course.” Rubbing my neck, I sighed. “I’m gonna head up then.”
“Everything okay?”
I was about to start talking about Rose and tell him how frustrated and angry and worried I was, but I stopped myself. In just months, she had turned me into this. “Have a good night, Steve.”
“You, too.”
Right. Nodding a few times, I took the elevator up and walked into the apartment. The second I closed the door, I realized my mistake.
She was smart. I’d forgotten that somehow. She was unlike anyone I’d been with. Of course she’d be where I least expected her to be. Of course she’d hide in plain sight.
Ten points to her.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and released it.
Relieved that I’d finally found her, I followed the soft clinking noises to the kitchen and noticed the TV was playing on mute. I took my time turning it off to calm myself down.
I crossed my arms and leaned against the kitchen doorframe. Quite a few apples were lined up on the kitchen counter next to where she was working on some dough. So she was baking an apple pie in my apartment when she was supposed to be anywhere but in my apartment.
“What are you doing here?”
I watched as her shoulders tightened and she straightened her spine. Before turning around, she went to the sink and washed her hands, taking her sweet time doing so. I stayed quiet. When I thought she would turn around, she picked up an apple and started washing them one by one. I counted four apples so far, and with each passing second, her frame stood more frigid.
Then she turned off the water, picked up a kitchen towel, and finally faced me as she dried her hands.
“Baking.”
I nodded.
“What are you doing baking in my apartment? Did you come here to hand-deliver the papers yourself and then randomly started baking?”
Her chin rose, just slightly, her eyes sparkling with something that resembled anger. It made her look more lethal than she already was to me.
“How was your day…husband?”
I straightened against the doorframe.
“Tell me you signed the papers.”
Her head tilted to the side and she dropped the kitchen towel on the counter, her stance mirroring mine as she crossed her arms.
“I didn’t.” There went her chin, up a little more.
I studied her, a million thoughts running through my mind. “What’s happening here?”
She uncrossed her arms and held on to the edge of the kitchen counter. She was wearing her favorite black jeans that hugged every inch of her curves and a chunky sweater that fell off of one of her shoulders. Half of her hair was up in a messy bun on top of her head, the rest tumbling down her bare shoulder.
“Are you seeing someone?”
My brows snapped together. “What?”
“Are you seeing someone? Is that why you want a divorce?”
I came out of my stupor and took a few steps toward her. Her body stiffened, but she didn’t lose her stance.
“What the hell is happening here?” I repeated.
“I took vows.”
That was what she came back with, and my brows drew in tighter.
“Fake vows,” I countered, my voice coming out harsher than I had intended. I caught her flinch but didn’t know how to react. I had no idea what the hell was happening or what she thought she was doing. As far as I knew, she was ruining everything.
“I wouldn’t say so. They were pretty real for me. We said I do in front of the officiant. We signed the papers, and I have the proof. That’s as real as it gets.”
I stopped when we were toe to toe and stared down at her. My eyes flicked down to her hands and I noticed how tightly she was gripping the marble.
“Where are you going with this exactly?”
“I’m not going anywhere. That’s the point.”
“I see. So what you’re saying is that you’re refusing to sign the divorce papers?”
“Exactly.” She squared her shoulders, unknowingly pushing her breasts toward me. My eyes dropped from her gaze only for a moment. I took a step back.
“And I’m moving back in.” She let go of the counter and opened her arms. “Tada—I’m home! I answered your questions. You didn’t answer mine.”
Confused about what was happening, I stared at her. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”
“Are you seeing someone? Is it someone from work? Samantha, maybe?”
“You have lost your mind then.”
Her hands went back to grip the edge. “You’re avoiding the question. Are you cheating on me, Jack?”
I took back the space I’d created between us and put my hands on the counter behind her, trapping her between my arms. I bent down until her face was only inches away from mine and I could look into her beautiful, beautiful eyes.
“What are you doing, Rose? Don’t make me ask again.”
She didn’t bristle at my stern words. Instead her face gentled, her eyes staring right back into mine. “I’m trying to have a fight.”
I waited for her to go on.
“You never make anything easy, do you?” She sighed. “I happen to think a little fighting is healthy in a marriage. First of all, it’s never good to hold things in, so you have to keep the lines of communication open if you want to last. Which you’re not very good at, but you’ll start working on it. I’m sure.”
“Explain why you’re not signing the papers,” I insisted.
She started to bite her lower lip, presumably trying to find the right words. I waited patiently. Her response was important.
“Because I don’t want to get a divorce.”
“It wasn’t a real marriage. I lied to you. I tricked you into it. You didn’t have to marry me—I could’ve bought the property and rented it to you.”
“I would’ve never accepted it. You knew it, you said so yourself. Why did you do it?”
“I already answered that question the day you came to my office.”
“To have a shot with me. You never apologized.”
“And I won’t now either. I told you I wouldn’t take the time I spent with you back.”
“Yet you want a divorce.”
I nodded. Moving just an inch closer, my eyes fell to her lips, which were starting to turn red with all her biting. “I do.”
“Why?” she asked.
“You said it yourself—you think I’m seeing someone else.”
She shook her head, her eyes dropping to my mouth and then coming back to my eyes. Her chest had started to rise and fall faster. She shook her head, a very small movement. Her shoulders were slightly trembling as well.
“I don’t think you’d have the time, what with stalking me and all that.”
The things she said to me… My lips twitched, drawing the attention of her gaze.
“A lot of work piled up at the office because of you.”
“I can imagine. Rough life, stalker life.”
“Tell me why you’re not signing the papers, Rose.”
“If I do, will you tell me why you want to get a divorce after going through the trouble of tricking me into a marriage?” she countered.
I nodded, my eyes set intently on hers.
“Okay then.” She straightened a little and I gave her just enough space to do so. “It’s going to be cheesy, but don’t blame me. You asked.”
“I think I can handle it. Go ahead.”
“I…I didn’t have the best childhood, obviously. I lived in a house. Not a home. I had people who were related to me, but I didn’t have family. I didn’t have anyone I could lean on. I didn’t have anyone who would take care of me if I needed it. I had myself. I did everything mysel
f. For a really long time, it was just me against the world. Then I grew up and I had other people to hold hands with, but they weren’t the right ones. I knew they wouldn’t stick so I never let myself become vulnerable. I never let anyone take care of me. Until you. You, big idiot. Until you gave everything that I’ve longed for since I was nine. You gave me a family. My own. The two of us against everything and everyone. You broke every wall I had up and then—uh, you know what? Never mind. I love you. There. Happy? I don’t like you at the moment, but I liked you before—very much so. So, yes, I love you. I didn’t want you in the beginning. I barely liked you. You’re not my type at all. You’re arrogant at times, though not all the time. Actually, who am I kidding? You are, though I don’t think you even realize you’re being arrogant. You’re prickly. You don’t notice people. You got better at that, but you didn’t even know your own doorman’s name when I first came here.”
“I talk to him every day,” I said.
“Now you do, but you didn’t before. Then there is the fact that you’re rich. I know this is my own hang-up. This is not on you, but I usually don’t like rich people. You are rude. You were rude—same thing, in my opinion. You’re surly. Frowny. You already know I used to count your smiles. You never smiled! Never. That’s a big thing for me. I like smiling, laughing. I like people to smile at me, laugh with me.”
Now that she had gained steam, her voice was slowly rising. I arched an eyebrow, but she didn’t notice because she was only meeting my eyes every now and then. She was busy thinking, her breathing hard, her forehead all creased as she was rattling off all the reasons she didn’t like me.
“Now I smile,” I said before she could keep going. She met my eyes for a brief moment.
“Don’t interrupt.”
This time I didn’t hide my smile. “I apologize. Go on, please.”
“You don’t smile. You didn’t talk in the beginning, let alone smile! What kind of person doesn’t talk? You helped every day at the coffee shop, showed up every night to pick me up, yet you barely talked. If you wanted to have a shot with me, you were doing a piss-poor job of it.”
“I told you I was trying to stay away so you could—”
“I said, don’t interrupt. You never compliment me. It’s always, You look tired, you look this, you look that.”
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. You’re usually tired, but beautiful despite that.”
She slapped me on my chest then left her hand exactly where it was with her palm right on my heart.
“See! You can’t even compliment me to save your life. You frown too much.”
She stopped, seemed to be thinking some more.
“You already said that. What else you got?” I asked.
“I’m thinking.”
I reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, my fingertips lingering on the skin of her neck and shoulders.
“You’re the most precious thing in the world to me, Rose.”
She shivered.
“You’re all those things. You did all those things,” she whispered.
“I can change for you. I did change for you.”
“I shouldn’t want you. I shouldn’t want us.”
“You shouldn’t, but do so anyway.”
She put her other hand on my chest as well, holding on to the lapels of my jacket. “You did change, and I love you despite all the things I don’t like about you. I probably love you more because of them. I don’t know. I love it when you frown at me for no damn reason. I find it so amusing. I’ve lost my mind. I enjoy making you frown.”
“I usually do have a good reason.”
“Yeah, you keep thinking like that. You can be sweet sometimes—so sweet, and thoughtful. Around the Corner wouldn’t be my reality if it weren’t for all your help before the opening—and I didn’t even like you back then.”
“I think I got that you didn’t like me.”
“You bring me flowers every Monday, just so I won’t use the fake plastic ones. You get me beautiful, real roses and then you act all uncomfortable about it. I love flowers. You know I love flowers.”
“I know. I’ll always bring them to you.” This time, I reached up to catch the tear that fell from her eye. “Tell me. What else?”
“I will. I don’t want the florist to bring them—you need to bring them on your own.”
“Done. What else?”
“I love that you talk to Steve now. I love that you join in when Raymond and I are talking instead of sulking on your own.”
“I don’t sulk.”
“You do, but it’s okay because I find that amusing as well.” She patted my tie, sliding her hand up and down a few times. Then her fingers gripped my shirt. “And when I was sick, you held my ankle. Do you even realize how stupid that sounds? But somehow it’s the sweetest and most romantic thing anyone ever did for me. You didn’t leave me alone for one second. I don’t think I could’ve gone through all that on my own. You were always right next to me, every step of the way, and you made me love you. So, now I can’t go back, and it’s no else’s but your fault. I’m not going to divorce you.”
“Okay.” I held her head in between my hands and kissed her forehead.
“Okay?”
“You made a good argument.”
“Don’t make fun of me, Jack. I’m not in the mood.”
“I wouldn’t dare.”
It seemed like she didn’t know what to say exactly, so I took over. “You don’t remember meeting me, but I remember it, Rose. You barely even looked at me when Gary introduced us. Then we went up to your uncle’s office and I didn’t even think about it, about you. The meeting ended and when I came down and saw you with that damn puppy in the kitchen, laughing, dancing, I couldn’t look away from you. I couldn’t move from where I was standing. Then Joshua came. The way you hugged him, the way you looked at him, the way you smiled at him—it was different from all the other smiles you’d given everyone else who greeted you, and I was jealous. For a second there, I wished it was me you were looking at like that…like he was the most important person in your life. Yet he was more interested in other people. I didn’t care for him. He wouldn’t be the guy I would picture by your side.” I caressed her hair and kissed her forehead again. I didn’t know how not to, not when she was in my arms like this.
“You would picture yourself by my side, I guess. Then what happened?” she asked, looking into my eyes with curiosity.
“No. If I could let you go, I would want you to have someone better than me. Then I didn’t do anything. I was interested, sure, and if you hadn’t had a boyfriend, I would have taken a chance, but you had him, so I didn’t think much about it. You aren’t my type anyway.”
“Your compliments, I do live for them. You go for the cold, arrogant, and beautiful ones, right? Like Samantha.”
“Something like that, but for a moment there, I could picture you with me. I wanted a shot like I’d never wanted one with anyone else. Then Gary told me about the contract, it went into the will, and you know the rest. The more I learned about Joshua, the more I couldn’t just sit and do nothing, so I did something. I didn’t hesitate to call him and offer him money if he left you alone, but I hesitated when we were getting married because I knew I was screwing things up and taking things a step too far. I felt nothing but guilt those first few weeks.”
“Did you have anything to do with him being with Jodi?”
“No. I swear to you. I learned about them the same night you did. When he learned I had married you and I’d cost him the property, he contacted me again to ask for money and threatened me with telling you everything. I paid him, time after time. The night after the charity event, the night he saw us together—do you remember? I told you I was going to the office, but he had texted me that night so I went to meet him. By then I knew I was falling for you, and I didn’t want him to ruin whatever chances we had. That last time we met, I told him I wouldn’t pay anymore because of that look he put o
n your face the day he showed up, and if he pushed his luck, I said I’d let Jodi know who he really was. He shrugged and said there were plenty of Jodi’s, but only one Rose for me.”
“Don’t lie to me, Jack. You didn’t love me. You weren’t even nice to me in the beginning. I’m not someone who believes you can fall in love with someone without knowing them. Don’t feed me bullshit.”
I brushed her bangs out of her eyes. “Will you shut up? I wasn’t in love when we first got married or even the first time I saw you. I’m not saying it was love. It was just interest, maybe a crush, but the more I got to know you, the more I couldn’t not fall for you. If I hadn’t known you had bought all the equipment to open your place, that you had spent your money, if there had been no contract, I’d have still paid Joshua to protect you from him, but after that, I’d have approached you like a normal guy. I’d have gotten to know you, asked you out, nothing more.”
“Why were you so mean to me? You barely spoke, and don’t think I forgot what you said to me after the wedding. You told me it was a mistake, I was a mistake and said we shouldn’t have done it.”
I smiled, but there was no humor in it. “That was my guilt. I didn’t know what to do with you, and I knew in the end, when you learned about what I did, it was going to kill whatever chance we had or didn’t have for good. I didn’t know how to get over it. Trust me, it was an unexpected reaction. If anything was going to happen it had to come from you. I wasn’t going to let you accuse me of forcing love even though I’d manufactured the marriage part. So, I decided to just let it be and let you have the coffee shop while maintaining a healthy distance. I didn’t want to help you set the place up. I didn’t want to be around you so much. I even considered telling you everything. That was why I kept asking you to go out to dinner with me, but I couldn’t do it. I was gonna wait for the right time. Then you got sick and I didn’t care what would happen, whether you knew what I’d done or not. I didn’t give a fuck about the guilt, and you were warming up to me, so…”
“You love me now,” she whispered.
I cupped her head and rested my forehead against hers. “You are the love of my goddamn life,” I whispered back, my voice raw and hoarse. “Somewhere in between all the pretending, I completely fell for you, and I can’t even think of my life without you in it.”