by Nana Malone
"Willa, we are not having this conversation."
"Why not? Okay, so obviously, he's good with his tongue. His hands are enormous, so he better know how to use them, and given your uncomfortable stance there, shifting from foot to foot, the man can lay some pipe. I'm a fan. But I have got to know, is he an anal guy?"
My jaw dropped open. "Oh my God, Willa!"
I couldn't look up at him. I knew he was looking at me. My traitorous eyes darted to him quickly, and of course, he was nodding slowly. My whole body clenched. Oh my God, I was going to die. That was the only way any of this was going to happen. I was dying. I waited for the ground to open up and swallow me whole.
“We are not having this conversation.”
Willa laughed. “Still a prude, I see.”
I refused to look at Jax. No way, no how. “I am not. It’s just none of your business.”
She rolled her eyes. “Okay, if you say so, but you don’t want to be that girl who loses a man just because she doesn’t know her way around sex. The kind of guy Jax is, he’s going to get bored if you don’t mix it up.”
I cringed inwardly. What I said was, “I’m good, Willa. I got this.” But what I thought was, ‘She’s absolutely right.’ Playing it too safe had cost me too many relationships in the past.
If I wanted to keep Jax, I was going to have to get a lot more creative. Plain old vanilla wasn’t going to suffice.
Jax…
That night when Neela was in the shower, Willa came out of her room. My gaze flicked up, but I ignored her. What were the odds that she’d just go away?
"I know you don't like me. You don't have to pretend."
"Good, because I wasn't pretending."
"Look, I know me just turning up here is problematic, and because of me, we have people on the islands that are looking for Neela and Mayzie. I'm sorry about that."
"Congratulations, you learned a new word."
"You know, we don't have to be enemies."
She slid down onto the couch next to me, her wide dark eyes attempting to pierce into my soul. The difference was, I knew what she was doing. And I had zero interest in taking the bait. "I know you think that you can maybe sweet talk your way out of this, that maybe you'll wake up tomorrow and Neela will believe everything that you say, but she won't because she already sees it. And she's not worried about herself, unlike you. She's worried about Mayzie."
"Mayzie, Mayzie, Mayzie. Jesus Christ, you would think she was yours."
"Well, we've been the ones looking after her for the last month or so. Where the hell have you been?"
"I already told you. I was running for my life."
"You're running from a situation that you created. So, where does that leave Neela and Mayzie then?"
"I don't know. I guess I didn't think it through, okay?" She shook her head. "That's not why I'm even out here. I've been noticing you, the way you watch me."
"Well, I watch all potential enemies the same way."
"No, Jax. There's been something in your guise."
The hairs at the back of my neck stood at attention. "Oh, yeah? What's that?"
"Well, for starters, I couldn't have picked a better person as a bodyguard. I mean, what a stroke of luck."
Yeah, those hairs, still at attention. I scooted closer to the edge of the couch and placed my laptop down to turn to stare at her. "Just what the fuck is it you think you're saying? Get to it, because I have work to do."
"What the fuck I'm saying is, I'm better in bed."
That, I didn't expect. "What?"
"Look, I love Neela. I do. I just, I can feel that tension and vibe between us, you know? I feel it, and I know you do."
Oh, I felt something all right. Unfortunately, it was in the line of disgust. "You're off your rocker."
"I'm not. You have been watching me. And that intensity, God, no wonder Neela wants to keep you to herself. But, I mean, she told you, right?"
I lifted a brow. "What? What was she supposed to tell me?"
"Well, we pretty much shared every boyfriend since we were kids."
My stomach turned. The bile rose up in my throat, and then I knew what this was. "Is that so?"
Willa scooted closer. "Yeah. Usually, I get them first. Sometimes, they're Neela's first. You know, we're close as sisters."
"Oh yeah? Is that so?" I left out the fact that I had met her mother and had seen how her mother had treated Neela. There was nothing sisterly about any of this. Whatever fucked-up sisterhood thing Willa thought she had with Neela, it only served her.
"So what is it that you think you want from me?"
"Well," she lowered her voice. She pushed herself up to her knees and then straddled me on the lap. My automatic response was to go perfectly still. This was enemy territory. Any sudden movements could get my throat sliced. "I think that maybe while Neela is occupied, you and I can be occupied."
I met her gaze, searching it, trying to understand if this was a mirage, or if she was high or something. Her being high would certainly explain the behavior, but it was nothing like that. As far as I could tell, Willa MacKenzie was in complete possession of her faculties, which meant she was doing it just for fun.
I planted my hands on her biceps, and then I gently removed her off my lap and stood as she said, "What the hell?"
"Let me be clear with you, Willa. I am not interested in fucking you. Not even a little. At all. If I saw you walking down the street, I would cross to the other side. You would not be someone that would ever entertain my interest. Am I clear?"
Her brows lifted and slowly descended as her lips flattened to a line. "Are you fucking serious right now?"
"Yeah, I am."
"You're such a dick. That’s not even what I was saying. This was just a test."
"Does that work for you all the time? Pretending to test people in Neela's life when you are what's wrong with Neela's life?"
"I'm not what's wrong with her. You're the fucking bodyguard. It's not like she can actually be with you."
"Whatever Neela and I have going on is none of your damn business. Whatever little game you think you're playing won't work. I don't trust you. And, newsflash, neither does Neela, so stop with the fucking game playing, or you are going to get hurt."
The door to the bedroom opened and out came Neela in a robe. She took one look at Willa and I pressed together, and she raised a brow. "Just what the fuck is going on here?"
Thirteen
King Sebastian…
"Are you sure this is a good idea?"
I grinned at Roone. "Don't tell me you're chickening out?"
"Oh, I chicken out of nothing. But still, you really want to taunt the bull?"
I could read through his bullshit. He was worried and, so was I. This could backfire. "I thought you liked shaking things up?"
He rolled his eyes. "You're confusing me with your brother. Lucas is the one who likes to shake things up. I like rules. Rules are there for a reason."
I waved my hand. "Ah, don't be an old lady."
"Mate, my only goal in life is to protect you. You're sure they're not going to lose their shit?"
"If they do, it's not your problem."
"Until they try and have me killed."
"Well, it’s a good thing you're a Royal Guard and a Knight."
He grinned then. "God, I fucking love that. Where's my sword, though? I really wanted a sword. And a shield."
"Jesus Christ. You and Penny with the round table thing."
"How are you a king and didn't love King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table?"
"I mean, I liked it fine. But I don’t have the level of obsession you and Penny do, apparently."
"Jesus Christ, you are an actual king and you've never had a round table of knights."
"Well, no. But now I have one. Happy?"
Roone rolled his eyes as he nodded. "Yeah. As long as I can take part in it."
“Show time.” With a deep breath, I shoved opened the doors to the Regents
Council Room. Despite all our efforts to modernize, there was always something dank about the room. The smell might be baked into the walls at this point.
The Council Room was located in the bowels of the castle. Deep underground, it had been created in King Jackson's time. It was meant as a safe location with enough hidden exits to the shore and to the city. The doors were also sealable in case of inevitable attacks.
Sir Gerald Lews approached us immediately. "Your Majesty." He bowed slightly. "Was there an agenda item I missed? Is there a reason Mr. Ainsley is joining us?"
I turned and grinned at Roone. "No. No agenda item you missed." The Council wasn't up for a vote until the next session. That was usually when we heard any testimony. And that was usually the only reason outsiders were invited to Council meetings.
Ethan had warned me about this. He hadn't exactly been against me creating Knights. He'd just been against me breaking it to the Council in this fashion. He knew they'd have something to say, but when done like this, I made it seem like I was performing a coup.
That's because you are.
"Let's get started gentlemen."
I liked Lews. He was our acting secretary. Smart. Measured. He usually voted with me, unless he felt strongly against something. But generally, he was a good guy.
When the meeting started, there were lots of raised eyebrows and murmured whispers. Everyone was wondering what Roone was doing there.
For his part, my best mate stood at my left shoulder. I was right-handed, and he was more than a little experienced in walking with me due to my time in the military. Since last year, Roone and I had worked on a shorthand. He always stood on my weak side, and he did what he had to do to guard me.
Most of the meeting went as planned. But every time someone had to speak on something mildly sensitive, their gazes all skittered to Roone.
As was standard, anyone who was there, even to give testimony, all signed an affidavit of complete silence. So they should have known Roone was safe, but still, they were uncomfortable. Across the table, I watched as Ethan shook his head. I could tell he was trying to hide a smile. His lips were twitching.
Finally, Ronald Coach cleared his throat. "Begging your pardon, Your Majesty, but this is highly unusual. Why is there a member of your Royal Guard here?"
I grinned at him. "I'm so glad you asked."
Everyone sat at attention then. "As all of you know, Roone Ainsley has been my right-hand guard for several years. He's a member of the Intelligence Team, highly skilled, responsible for bringing my sister home, and he’s also her fiancé, as well as an Earl. As you’re aware, during the next vote, we have seats up for election. You’ve also already been informed that I've put in Lord Ainsley's name for vetting and consideration."
There were murmurs.
Coach spoke again. "Yes, Your Majesty, we're all aware, but this is highly unusual. Why is he here now?"
"Well, if you wouldn’t interrupt, you'd find out." I gave him a tight smile. "Lord Ainsley is also a King’s Knight."
There was dead silence. Not a word was spoken. No pins dropping, not a mouse skittering. The silence had the full catastrophic weight of an explosion.
Finally, Coach sputtered, "A King’s Knight? But there haven't been King’s Knights for generations now."
"No, there haven't been. The King’s Knights were merged with the Royal Guard, as you all know. And the Council, as a whole, governs the Royal Guard. But it is the king's purview if he should so choose to select his own private guard. Given the upheaval we've had over the last several years, I thought it might be a good idea to reinstate the practice."
Lord Nathers, slim, with gaunt features, stood from his seat at the other end of the table. When he spoke, he always gave the air that he was talking down to you. "With all due respect Your Majesty, you have never discussed this with us."
"And that's the beauty of this. I don't need to discuss it with you. The ruling monarch, as is written in our laws, has the sole discretion on whether or not to create a Knight. And he or she alone governs them."
More hushed murmurs and complaining echoed through the room.
Ethan rolled his eyes, but then he spoke up. "Your Majesty, I think everyone is curious as to why you would engage a King’s Knight."
"Well, that's simple. I have nothing but respect for the Council. The Royal Guards are the backbone of what our country was founded on. The Royal Guard was instated to protect all those of highborn lineage. To protect our nation, they come directly from the military. Before we merged the King’s Knights into the Royal Guard, they were our nation's most elite security. The Knights were meant strictly for the protection of the royal family, primarily the monarch. I think all of you can agree that of late, my family and I have come under fire. Actual, literal fire."
Not one of them could disagree with that. "Yes, Your Majesty," said Coach. "But the Knights, there is nothing to govern them."
"Except me."
"Yes, and had you had them at the time of the conspiracy, what if they’d been corrupted along the way? What if we’d lost you? Who would govern them then? Who would make sure that they upheld the laws? Before they were disbanded, there were rumors that the Knights were unscrupulous."
"Ah yes, I remember those stories. In the time of Angelus and my great-grandfather, there were some Knights who may have stepped out of line, acting on behalf of Angelus or my great-grandfather, but that's not what will happen now. I'll be picking the most elite forces to be knighted. I don't need a big force, but in addition to my own personal Knights, I'll be naming Knights to provide premium security to those in the royal family who need it."
And then it struck them.
Lews sighed. "This is about Prince Tristan."
I nodded. "The Council voted, and I respect that. The Royal Guard has come under fire. Their ranks were infiltrated. It makes sense that we should all be concerned. And as we right the ship, it makes sense that there would be those who are deemed suspicious or perhaps suspect. And as we all voted, I understand that it didn't go my way this time. But I stand by the fact that I believe my cousin needs more protection than the Council was willing to give him. And if I can do something to protect any member of my family at my own discretion, then I will. Our laws state that a commoner shall not be sent to guard a member of royalty. As you know, my father didn't always abide by this, but I understand our need for tradition at times like this. I respect it, and we voted. So, I wouldn't want to subvert that."
Coach huffed. "So, what do you think this is?"
"I'm following the letter of the law. A private security team of King’s Knights of my own. There is nothing wrong or subversive about that, as our own laws dictate. If you want to perhaps attempt to revisit the law, you're welcome to. We can add that as the ending agenda item. I'll bring our cases for discussion, and we can take a vote. But it’s an ancient law. Should that really be tampered with?"
More murmuring, shaking of heads, and general grumbling echoed through the room. It would be ridiculous to attempt to change the law that didn't mostly impact anything at present. It was an old law. If I wanted to assign a couple of Knights, them voting against it would scream that I didn't have their support. It would also make any of them look suspect.
"Is there anyone who would like to put that agenda item on our platform for the next vote?"
No one spoke. Eyes shifted around.
Ethan raised a brow and stared at me. I grinned back at him. "In that case, let's continue."
I had what I wanted. The Council was going to bend to my will. And now I just needed Knights. Luckily, I knew exactly where to look.
Neela…
Since we were eight, after my father died Willa had been basically everything to me. My whole world. She'd been my best friend, my sister, my champion.
Or at least I’d thought.
She's no champion of yours.
I had seen her last night, rubbing herself all over Jax. Neither one of them had seen me. The pit had fallen out of
my stomach.
Mayzie had started to stir, so I'd woken up to rub her belly and soothe her back to sleep. I'd gotten out of the shower and heard them talking out in the living room. Neither one of them had heard me as I'd slunk out into the hallway with nothing on but my towel. I didn't know what I'd see or what I'd hear, but what I'd seen was my best friend since I was eight years old rubbing herself all over... what the hell did I even call him?
Was he my boyfriend? I didn't know what the hell was going on with us.
Your man. He is your man.
But that sounded ridiculous. We were close, and the way I felt about him… I was pretty sure I'd never felt that way before. And just like back in high school with Ian Metzer, Willa swooped in and stole him from right under my nose.
Attempted to steal him.
Jax had told her no. And in no uncertain terms. The flush of warmth was almost enough to chase to chill away.
Willa wasn't my friend. She never had been. Which meant for years, I'd been torturing myself, chasing after someone who hadn't wanted me and certainly hadn't had my best interests at heart.
That morning, Jax had taken Mayzie out to the pool in her little floaters and swim diaper. She was happy as a clam, and it was good that Jax was able to take her out. She had been a little cranky.
Willa was outside watching them from the little porch. "She got so big when I wasn't looking."
"Yeah, she did," I said as I adjusted my sunglasses. "That's what happens when you abandon your child. They grow up without you."
Her jaw unhinged. "Jesus Christ. You know why I had to leave."
"Sure. You fucked up. You made a deal with the devil and you ran. As always, you only ever think of yourself."
She turned to me and planted her hands on her hips, blond hair blowing in the breeze, looking every bit the fashion and art icon. "You know that is not true. Everyone thinks I'm selfish, but I'm not. I was thinking about Mayzie. I was thinking about you."