What if this really was it? The last night of the universe? What if the Fir Bolgs succeeded? What if Charlotte had deceived us all? I shoved all my questions away, focusing on Finn, the pure primal call of his body to mine.
I bit down on his shoulder, and Finn gasped, crushing me against his chest and thrusting toward my belly. I let go for a moment, and his fingers grasped for my tunic, my trousers.
“Do you want me, Elizabeth?” he whispered hot and wet in my ear.
“All I want is you,” I said, taking short breaths with deep gulps as his fingers pressed against my sex. “Forever.”
The word felt like a prayer, our bodies hovering, positioned in the darkness like our own private sacrament. He slipped a finger inside of me, and my knees buckled, his other hand grabbing my ass to lift me up against his cock. Another finger entered my opening, and I pulsed against him with a slow, languid movement, hard cock, thick fingers pressing against my mound, fingertips unfolding me like a flower. I felt the edge of an orgasm, the fire building, and Finn let go, hitching me up against his waist only to lay me down again in the cool grass and the soft earth. My tunic disappeared, my boots and trousers vanished. I shivered in the cold, the tall pines shifting above and whispering softly as beyond that, the sky threatened to explode. And there we were. In love. All we could do was hold on to each other as the world was falling apart.
Finn’s palm pushed me down, his fingers clutched on my shoulder as he guided himself into me. I knew him, knew every inch of his body, but life began again as he thrust himself deep once, and then once more. It was like tasting the apple from the tree of knowledge, discovering a new language written in my body, somewhere quiet, the quietest part of me, a place I could study it, him, me, us.
“I love you,” he whispered, kissing the side of my neck. “Grá go deo.”
Forever love.
I grasped his hips, forcing him farther inside, and he lingered there at the boundary of my womb, his back arched, his arms like two pillars, closing me in as he opened me. I shut my eyes, lifting my hips to meet him, and a rush of pleasure and pain shattered across the backs of my eyelids, pure ecstasy wrapping me in a bed of fire only, like a phoenix, to emerge renewed again. I panted, pressing urgent, hungry kisses against his chest as he collapsed, his weight delicious, overwhelming in a way that completed me.
As his breathing slowed and his shoulders shook with the end of his desire, I stretched my arm against his broad back, tilting my hips up one last time to take the last of his orgasm. Finally, he slipped out of me and clutched me close. I nestled my forehead in the hollow of his shoulder, resting my hand on his hard abdomen, watching my palm rise and fall.
“I will always love you,” he said in my ear, his breath so soft.
I sat up, leaning over him, my hair falling all around us. “We will get through tomorrow. We will take Teamhair, save the world. We will do this. No matter what we have to sacrifice, we will win.”
He swept his hand across my hair, twisting it over my shoulder. “I don’t want to win if it means losing you.”
“It’s temporary,” I said, the words ringing hollow in my ears. Everything was temporary, this world, Finn and me. A suspicion arose deep in my belly. I was late. Very late. I couldn’t wave away what I suspected. I carried Finn’s child. I opened my mouth to tell him, but instead I turned away. It would be one more tether to me, a tether when I needed him free, needed him to get close to Charlotte, give her an incentive to tell the truth.
“You must go to her,” I said, running my hands against his neck, taking in the sensation of his skin against my fingers. “I need you to pretend, if only a little while.”
“I don’t want this.”
“We’re all beyond wanting now,” I said, glancing up at the sky. “We must make this right.”
He nodded, pulling on his shirt, his trousers. We dressed silently, the heights of our lovemaking collapsing into quiet movements in the dark. We stood up at the same time, our bodies so close. Finn took hold of my shoulders and pressed a kiss on the crown of my head.
“Go to her now,” I whispered.
He took in a deep breath. “For tomorrow,” he said.
“For tomorrow.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
A cold hand clapped onto my arm, and I grabbed my spear and pointed it at my attacker.
“Whoa! Hey!” Malachy cried out, stumbling back on his haunches.
I let my head drop back onto my pillow. “Shit. Don’t do that.”
The dearg-dubh smiled, brushing his long hair over his armored shoulder. He had somehow managed to scrounge up an ornamental breastplate that shone with an oily purple hue, gold flakes curling in elaborate Celtic lines.
He extended a hand out to me. “Rise and shine, Princess. You have a castle to storm.” Looking me up and down, he focused on my face and clicked his tongue. “And we need to do something about this hair…”
He reached for the side of my face, and I slapped him away, searching for my own battle armor. “Cut it out.”
I grasped the delicate metal and opted instead for something lighter—my leather armor. I would need to maneuver quickly inside the castle, and I had no time for pomp and circumstance. Today could easily turn into a dogfight.
“Really?” Malachy said behind me. “You’re going with the leather. I mean, okay. I would have opted for—”
“How are the dragans?” I interrupted. “Do they understand the maneuvers?”
“Of course. We’ve gone over it a dozen times.”
I tightened the straps on my breastplate. “Just wait until the ward breaks for the attack, or it will be pointless.”
“I know. I know.” Malachy paused, running his hands through his hair, and he shifted back and forth on his feet. “I… I owe you an apology.”
I pulled on a boot and shrugged.
“I should have told you about Charlotte. I should have been honest.”
I yanked hard on my laces, tying them tight across my shins, before I stood up again.
“And you’re right,” Malachy continued. “I want to win, and I do think you’re the magical Faerie chosen one and all that, but…”
I finally met his eyes, and he glanced away, scratching the back of his neck.
“But, you’re also silly and clumsy and pretty much a hot mess most of the time—”
I screwed up my face and placed a hand on my hip. “Is this an apology?”
“And,” he interjected, palm raised, “you’re my friend. The closest friend I’ve had in… I don’t know. Maybe ever. I owed you the truth.”
I sighed, staring into his translucent eyes. I knew why he had done it, so that we could reach this point, so that we could come this far. I knew also that in a few hours, I would betray everyone by withholding my plans. All for the Resistance. All for a better world.
“I accept your apology.”
Malachy nodded, his face breaking out into a sheepish smile.
After grabbing my spear, I hooked it behind my back. “Are you ready?”
He took my hand and bowed, his cold lips grazing my skin. “My lady, I have waited centuries for this day.”
“Let’s do this.” I turned to exit my chambers, but Malachy squeezed my hand, pulling me back.
“I know you’re secretly going into the castle to free Grainne and probably sacrifice yourself to save the world, or something stupid like that,” he whispered.
I whirled around. “How did you—?”
He grinned, revealing his long, gleaming canines. “Lucky guess.”
I wrenched my fingers away. “Don’t you dare try to stop me.”
He let out a barking laugh and clapped me on the shoulder, exiting toward the makeshift door. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
I made to follow the dearg-dubh outside the chamber, but a wave of nausea gripped my insides, and
I collapsed to my knees, grasping for the bucket I used as a toilet. I heaved, last night’s dinner coming up in burning waves of bile.
“Christ!” Malachy crouched beside me, holding back my hair. “Are you okay?”
I wiped my mouth and sat up, taking a deep breath. “Just nerves.”
He eyed me up and down. “Are you sure?”
I gave him a pointed stare. “Yes.”
He glanced at my stomach, and I instinctively placed my hand over my belly.
“Elizabeth!” he gasped.
I shook my head.
“How long have you known?” he said in a hushed voice.
I bit my lip. “I wasn’t sure. I mean, I don’t know.”
He took hold of my arm. “You can’t go through with this! What if—?”
I shrugged him away. “You can’t tell anyone.”
“But Finn!” he spluttered.
“He doesn’t know!” I hissed. “And I aim to keep it that way. Let’s just try to get through this, and then I’ll… I’ll figure it out.”
Malachy let out a long exhale and shook his head. “I should tell him. Maybe he can talk some sense into you.”
“Absolutely not.” I stood up and brushed off my leather, strapping my spear to my back. “I may be pregnant, but I’m not helpless. We stick with the plan.”
He mumbled something but then clapped on his helmet.
The great cave echoed with soldiers bustling in and out of the narrow tunnels. Warriors had gathered near the entrance of the cave, and everyone silenced as I approached. It took nearly an hour for everyone and everything to assemble outside, but finally the chamber was empty, and I raised my hands to signal we were ready to transport.
It had seemed like a lifetime ago since I had transported such a vast fighting force of this magnitude, but instead of it being someone else’s army, this one belonged to me. The mission was mine, and even though there might be higher causes, it was still my cause, my responsibility. That knowledge bore down on me, as heavy as the thousands of souls I held close to my own as I gathered everyone near me. I took it all. The people. The dragans. The weapons. It all came wrapped up into one great mantle I balled up and held close to my heart, close to the place where the magic sprang eternal. We traveled through the dark place, the astral plane that felt like the longest distance but a mere hairsbreadth in the difference between here and there.
When I opened my eyes again, the army staggered around me in one great wave of confusion, their forms spreading out before the great green plain at the foothills of Teamhair. I stood on the roots of the giant oak tree where Una and I had once sat. What had we talked about then? Anger and darkness? I glanced over at her and she nodded, and for a moment we shared the same memory as surely as if I could read her thoughts. I knew then the anger and darkness would always be with me. It had manifested with Charlotte. Sometimes even Finn caught glimpses of it. Once these things took root, they remained. The past had fused into me, but I could forgive myself for it. Of course I could. It was better than running from it.
A great wave of exhaustion flooded through me, and my knees buckled. I dug my fingernails into the bark, forcing myself to remain upright. I needed the Fir Bolgs to see me. Take in my army. Prepare themselves. Already, they were scrambling through the halls of Teamhair to reinforce the ward. They could hide behind it for only so long, though— I would shatter that, too. And then, I would shatter them.
Finn came up beside me and let out a long breath. “I’d forgotten you had this power. It’s so incredible.” He turned to me, his eyes rimmed with red, his face drawn. He hadn’t slept. Idiot. I needed the warrior Finn. It didn’t matter what had occurred between him and Charlotte. I put it in the back of my mind, the towers of Teamhair rising up in front of me.
“Just another one of my cheap tricks,” I muttered beneath my breath.
“You are more powerful than you could ever know.”
I gazed out across the army already breaking ranks to set up camp and prepare for the siege.
“Like what I did to Charlotte? Is that power?” I asked beneath my breath, eying her from across the field. “I had no idea I could do that. That I could be capable of such a thing.”
“Forget about yesterday, Elizabeth,” he said. “Sometimes the trauma can manifest this way. We should talk about it, work through it.”
I clutched my spear tight across my chest, giving him an absent nod. I wanted to talk. There were so many things I wanted to say to Finn, but I merely let out a long exhale, turning toward the camp. “I need to rest for what’s ahead. We don’t have much time.”
He pointed toward where the Fianna were already setting up tents for the commanders. “They should have something ready for you there. Are you hungry?”
The very thought of food sent another wave of nausea through me, and I swallowed back the truth. What the hell was I going to do now? Finn needed to know, but I wasn’t even sure how to tell him. Or if I even wanted this baby. God. How had life become so complicated?
“I’m fine,” I said, turning toward the lane of white tents against the verdant grass wet with dew. I glanced up at Finn. “Stay close to Charlotte for now. Keep trying to talk to her, get close to her. She may reveal more now that we’re here.”
“Of course.” He lingered at the door of my tent and took hold of my hand, his fingers barely brushing against my palm. “I know this is not the time, and I want you to rest. But I hope…soon…we can talk. I have some things I want to say.”
“I know,” I said.
Finn gave me a curious glance.
“I mean, I have some things I want to tell you, too.” I swallowed hard, clutching my spear closer to my chest. “But if I don’t sleep, I won’t have the strength left to storm the castle. Let’s just try to focus on the mission today.” I gave him a meaningful stare, longing to fold myself in his arms, press my lips against his, but I had told Charlotte I would forsake him, and at least for now, I needed to make that believable. “We’re going to get through this.”
He smiled, and the sight of it was like parting clouds, sending a wave of warmth through me. Tears of exhaustion stung my eyelids, and I wanted him so badly in that moment. I nearly fell on my knees and begged him to stay, to wrap his arms around me and kiss me softly until I fell into the deepest sleep.
He directed me into the tent. “Rest now. I will return in one hour.”
Someone had rolled out a thin mat, and I threw myself onto it, the exhaustion from all that travel seeping into my bones and pulling me into a deep sleep.
I stood on the fields of Teamhair, the sounds of screams echoing in my ears and blood seeping out of the earth, staining my bare feet. I wore a white dress, long and flowing, the dress my mother wore in my dreams. Was I her? I glanced down at my hands, so pale against the darkness all around me. Men and women battled in a frenzy of steel and blood, the clash of weapons and the scream of battle horses slamming into my ears, the earth broken and exploding with Druid fire beneath my feet. In the midst of the chaos, I felt as if I were wrapped in a cocoon, removed from it all, gossamer threads tugging just at the edge of my vision.
“Do you like your future, Elizabeth Tanner?”
I whirled around. A woman stood before me with long black hair and a shiny black dress. The Morrígan.
“My future?”
She stepped forward, and the warriors on the field seemed to part before her as if by some unseen force.
“I love the smell of battle.” She smiled, staring up at the dark clouds above. “I love the screams of agony. The taste of fresh blood in the air.” She licked her lips, a dark smile pasted across her pale face. “You brought this war to me, and it has awakened me, given me strength.”
I shivered, cupping my elbows with my palms. “You’re just a dream.”
“What is a dream to an Aisling? It is the same fabric as time. As
space. As power.”
I glanced around, trying to muster my power to alter the dream and escape.
Morrígan snorted. “Don’t bother. This is one vision you cannot control or change. For all your power, you cannot change fate, Elizabeth Tanner.”
She gestured across the field, and I turned, a sharp gasp escaping my lips.
My body lay splayed across the field covered in blood, a scream forming in my lungs as Finn fought over me. I clutched my spear, trying to gain my footing, but I was too late. A Fir Bolg pierced his side, and he went down on one knee then fell into the mud. I whirled my spear, taking off the Fir Bolg’s head, but it didn’t matter. Finn was gone.
“With the world broken, I will take Finn as my consort and begin a new dimension. Together we will rule, the power of the universe rolled up into the consummation of our union.”
“No!” I screamed, arms flailing.
The Morrígan sidestepped, throwing her head back and laughing. “I told you,” she said. “His blood is mine.”
“Elizabeth?”
Finn’s arm wrapped around my shoulder, his clean, leathery smell surrounding me.
“It’s all right,” he whispered. “I’m here.”
I sank into his chest, choking back a sob as his hands rubbed back and forth down my spine.
Someone cleared their throat, and my eyes snapped open. Una coughed, her gaze glancing across the tent to Regina and Eamonn.
Slowly, I leaned away from Finn, but his eyes never left my face.
“I told you to stay with Charlotte.” I rose to my feet, grasping my spear. I wanted to tell him about my secret mission, to beg him to come with me, but I couldn’t risk it. I didn’t know if I would come back, and the world would need Finn. He would continue on, bring democracy to Tír na nÓg, unite Trinity. Maybe it wouldn’t be me, but he could carry out the vision we shared.
Echoes from the Veil Page 23