by Jane Merkley
Perseth shrugged for all of them. “Same reason as Blindvarn born are living in Greatmar.”
“Not to the amount that they supersede the number of Ruids there.”
“Such a trivial matter, Lady! All we are saying is that it is a little rash for you to jump to such conclusions so quickly and so violently. Of course we won’t bother re-reading the letter from him apologizing for the upset. But instead of leaving the matter alone, you pursue it and tell him to prepare for war!”
“Not in those exact words.”
“Does it make a difference what words you used if the understanding were still the same?”
Altarn looked at each of them carefully, feeling more like a convict in front of a jury of peers then a Lady at the head of her court. To her it was so obvious. Lord Byrone only backed down because she discovered his plays at conquest and the scathing letters sent to her afterward only showed that he was upset about it. Upset enough to say things like, females are the worst tragedy to befall the great state of Blindvar; Your people will choose to gouge out their own eyes than to elect another female in that house. That was the last letter and it was still sitting on her desk, burning a hole into it.
“And Ruidenthall has a larger army than Blindvar. So challenging them at war is a terrible idea on several levels.”
That was Altarn’s only hesitation. It would be like a litter of kittens against a hive of bees. Blindvar had a unique weapon system that had proven effective in the Old Wars, but Ruidenthall had more soldiers. But that is why she had sent a private bird to their sister state Luthsinia to ask for aid. She had not heard back from them. That was three weeks ago.
Altarn cleared her throat and stood. “Is there any here that agrees with my call for war?”
No one raised their hands.
“Is there anything more this court wishes to address?”
“No, Lady.”
“I will take your concerns into account. We will convene again in three weeks were I will make my final decision. This session is concluded.” Altarn left the room while her court members were still grumbling and pushing their chairs back against the table.
Tears pressed against the back of her eyes. She was hoping for some reprieve today. Where Jessom had left an aching void in her chest, the men of her court had filled it with accusations that she was being over reactive, reminding her yet again why the men of Blindvar had not encouraged women to hold such positions. She was even losing the election until it was discovered that both men she was up against had fallen out. She was doing all the things required of her. She looked the part, had all the right schooling, spent taxes where needed, made sure no power hungry tyrant learned from the kings before him on how to acquire land…
She made it to her room, pausing with her back against the door to compose herself.
Kyree was laying fresh linens on the bed. “A bird arrived while you were in court.”
“From Luthsinia?”
Kyree’s eyes were sympathetic. “From Byrone.”
What was left of Altarn’s thin emotional binding snapped. Three tears fell down her cheeks red with rouge. She hated how Byrone could make her cry before she had even read the scathing letter he had sent. Was being the State Head this brutal for everyone who had held the position? It was a requirement to serve in the army for two years to qualify to run for the State Head. She could handle the stress of sleepless nights and physical training far easier than bearing the discontent of a court who didn’t vote for her.
Better get it over with.
She stomped to the crisp sealed missive at her desk and opened it with enough aggression that it tore almost in half.
Altarn,
I won’t even pardon my slanderous use of your name without your title;
One must earn their titles to be used. Your dramatic reaction over my suggestion of making Heathe my estate has made everyone regret having a female in the house. War from your state would only prove that females are not stable enough to hold such a high position in office. Our people have been friends since Gildeon was mortal and you are destroying that. I’ve told you I don’t want your land and I have receded anything that had to do with my offer to merge Heathe into my own. But your continuing threats of war are pushing my own hand to act first. WE both know who has the better army, and though I do not want to fight my friendly Blindvarns (excluding you) I will do so to maintain the security of my own state. Any more threats from you and you will find my army marching to your house in a fortnight.
Signed,
Lord Byrone of Ruidenthall
Altarn tossed the paper back on the desk. The motion caused the air beneath to float it over the side and onto the floor.
Kyree watched her Lady fight her emotions for a moment but came rushing over as she witnessed her lose.
“My Lady, Byrone is a tyrant. Anyone who is shallow enough to use vulgarity to make one feel weak is not deserving of his own leadership.”
“But Kyree, you haven’t even read the letter.”
“I don’t have to. Every word is on your face.”
Altarn sobbed and Kyree comforted her with an arm like she had done so, so many times before. An anchor in a sea of political storms.
“I am sorry. I shouldn’t cry. It’s what he wants, to make me look weak. But I do not know what to do. I’m certain he is after Blindvar but no one believes me. If I did nothing and he did eventually take Blindvar, then I would be to blame then, too. Damned if I do. Damned if I don’t.”
“You might consider revealing these letters to the court. The use of his vulgarity and threats might convince them that he’s only angry that he got caught.”
“Nothing will sway them, save Byrone marching upon us. And even then they will believe his army has come for dinner!” Altarn began to disengage the dress. “He’s doing it so cleverly. Steal Blindvar over time under friendly pretenses, or threaten to remove the State Head because of her threats that she caught on to what he was doing. I need Luthsinia’s aid. We are losers either way without a larger army.”
“Luthsinia hasn’t been responding because they’ve already declared they will remain mutual in this affair. Word of your possible war has spread to even them.”
“So it’s my war now?”
Kyree stammered.
“Never mind,” Altarn amended. “I could probably say demeaning things to a priest at this point and not feel hell open to swallow me.” Altarn fell exhausted onto the couch, still in her undergarments and considered, not for the first time, abandoning her post and relinquishing her duties as State Head. It really was just that easy. Just like the citizens chose who they wanted to hold the position, the State Head themselves could simply digress and leave. All it would take was a formal letter to the court and the State Head could go back to washing dishes at the closets roadhouse in ten minutes. But even as Altarn wished it sometimes, she knew she would never make herself, because that would show all the men in her court that they were right all along about her, and she would not give them that power. And even if she did, that would make the Baron of Fellsbarren State Head by default until another one was officially appointed. Perseth. She shuddered.
“It’s just so easy to see how innocent this thing is,” Altarn bemoaned. “So well done that I am almost convinced.”
“Have you thought that maybe it is innocent? You know I agree with you, but you have to hold both stones to know which one has more weight.”
“You should have finished law school. You make a better Lady than I. But yes, I have. The small things bother me. Why are there so many more Ruids in Heathe than Blindvarns? A boy I fancied when I was younger lived there, and there is nothing special or beautiful about it, except that it is in the middle of Blindvar. Why was Byrone looking at the Blindvarn census? And Why did he wait until I was in the State Head – a female! – to make such a request?”
“And that is why I believe you. The worst you can do is go against your better judgment.”
“I am most glad I
have your company. I might have already fled this house if it wasn’t for your calm reasoning.”
Kyree’s cheeks reddened slightly in a nervous smile and she sat on the couch opposite Altarn and poured them both a cup of vanilla mint tea. “When is your next court?”
“In three weeks. I’ve told them I will make my final call then. If I can’t get Luthsinia’s aid, then I will have to call off my declaration of war. People may think I am bold for giving it life in the first place, but I’m not so bold to face an army with less than equal value.”
“Three weeks gives you enough time to ride to Luthsinia and ask for aid in person.”
Altarn looked at Kyree sharply whose eyes were fixed to the inside of her cup. She sipped lightly.
“You can’t be ignored if you are there in person,” Kyree continued after it was clear that Altarn was waiting for her to finish. “They’d be forced to hear your plea. They could still say no, of course, but then you can tell your court that you did everything you could to prevent a war if Byrone truly intends to take Blindvar. And who knows? Maybe Byrone is intercepting the birds and Luthsinia hasn’t received any of your recent ones asking for aid.”
Altarn sat straighter in her seat. “But Luthsinia has barred Byrone and myself from crossing their borders. They say they will not allow warlords to incite their neutral state and will detain us if we do.”
“Can they do that?”
Altarn rubbed her temples, trying to chase away a headache. Jessom was holding the nail to her brain, her court of men offering the hammer, and Byrone was pounding it in. “Because they retained their king, yes. Just another reason why we dethroned ours.”
“How are they to know you’ve entered their borders?”
“They’ve started checking everyone’s tags on the roads and they patrol the borders themselves to make sure no one snuck in.”
Kyree’s fingers drummed the side of her cup, then lifted a chain off her neck and tossed it at Altarn, who caught it. “Then go as me. You don’t leave the house enough for people to know what the Lady of Blindvar looks like. Farther away from this house, there are smaller towns than Heathe who think we are still ruled by a king. No one will recognize you.”
Altarn dangled the identification tag on the chain before her, wondering at the possibilities. She looked at Kyree who smiled. “Will anyone notice if we switch places? You make a better Lady than I.”
“Well, I’m not going to be Lady while you are gone.”
“You could. My best advice didn’t come from school or even my court. It comes from right here on the couch, speaking with you. I’m starting to wonder why I even bothered to run for office in the first place.”
“Then you have forgotten that the Old Wars…” Kyree paused for effect, smiling over the edge of her cup, “were won by a female.”
A Body without a Soul
Altarn slept little. It bothered her how much losing Jessom bothered her. She had not realized how much she had believed there was something promising between them. She must be blind. That was the third man she had believed that. One of the faults of women. They care too much and too deep even when the other side may not reciprocate. Aside from that, she was a little nervous at what she was about to start as she waited inside the dark stable yard with a small sack of traveling necessities and money.
Jasper emerged from the guardhouse right on time, leading a horse that was already saddled.
“Evening, Lady.” His tone failed at hiding his curious suspicion. He came closer and stopped, narrowing his eyes. “Why are you wearing a servants dress? What is the bag – where am I taking you?”
Altarn smiled gently. “I’m sorry for misleading you in the message this morning, but this is something that must be done and I couldn’t have you persuading me out of it.”
His green eyes narrowed, resembling the sharp edge of a cut gem.
They became friends during the two years they were both in the army. He had rolled over to be Guardsman of the House and Altarn went to law school, and was of course delighted when she discovered him again when she became Lady. She could count no less than two people as real friends here. He was married when she met him, now with two daughters. If she couldn’t have an honest man to marry, she would still settle with an honest man to guard her.
“What are you planning on doing?”
“If Ruidenthall’s threat to steal Blindvar is valid, then I need to seek Luthsinia’s aid because we don’t have the soldiers to stand a good chance.” Like Kyree, Jasper knew much of what was happening in court. Altarn needed advice from real people who weren’t over paid to show up in her court room once in a while just to make sure the table was still there. Real people had real opinions. Jasper wasn’t as devoted to the idea as Kyree, but his advice was to prepare and watch for more solid evidence. She would use that against him.
“So you are going to Luthsinia?”
“Athenya, to be exact.”
“Have you not sent a bird to ask for aid if it comes to that?”
“I’ve sent five. None of them have returned. I need an answer now. If their answer is no, then I will withdraw and hope that Byrone’s request really was innocent.”
“Then let me come with you. I am not okay with you traipsing about Endendre on your own.”
Altarn found it suddenly difficult to tell him no. Good people like this were in short supply. “I appreciate your concern but plenty of men do it and appear to be just fine.”
“For your distrust of men, you are strangely unconcerned that they might take advantage of your lacking company on the road.”
“Men take advantage of women because the whole world is convinced they are easily taken advantage of. At some point that has to be changed again. Our history does not mention helpless women in the days of the Old Wars, Lieutenant Jasper.”
“You are foolish if you are doing this to prove a point. You are like a sack of gold walking around to those who only live to get gain. Your rescue will become much harder and much more public than me simply traveling with you will be.”
“Half the people in Blindvar know your face, Jasper. And if they see you with me they will put two and two together. They are already fabricating rumors of war. Let us not hurry that along before I have a chance to reach Luthsinia or Ruidenthall will be at my doorstep to make good on those rumors before I even make it back.”
Jasper fumbled with the reins, obviously fighting between choosing his morals and a direct order from his Lady. Altarn almost wanted to change her mind because of the grieving look he had in his eyes.
“I will be fine.”
“What if you aren’t?”
Altarn sighed. She had hoped this would be easy, that he would simply accept it. “I will travel with a caravan so I am not alone.”
Tension loosened its grip on Jasper slightly. The horse shuffled with annoyance at standing idle
“And I will send a bird back with every town I come to with an aviary.”
“Do you have a knife, at least?”
“I always carry a knife. Especially in the court room.”
Jasper laughed at this, honest and genuine. But he stopped when he realized what she was doing. “If a full day lapses and I don’t hear from you, the entire guard will go after you. If you are trying to avoid a big scene and lots of new gossip for the citizens, you better send those birds.”
“I will. Here is a map of the road I am taking. I will leave my name at the inns in the towns I’ve marked on the map so you know how far I got if I go missing.”
“See? You are already making plans to go missing.” He took the map but did not look at it.
“If I do not return before my next court date, come looking for me.” Altarn held an open palm in front of him and flexed her fingers. “I need the reins.”
Jasper held onto them possessively. When Altarn didn’t back down, he relented and passed them over. “I want you to know that I know this to be a bad idea. Remember that when something bad happens.”
“When the servants don’t heat the water enough to have a relaxing bath at the inns I’ll be staying in,” Altarn grunted as she swung into the saddle, “I’ll be sure to report it to you.” She held his gaze. “I’ll see you later, Jasper.”
He clasped his hands in front of him. Altarn tapped the horse with her heels and it started forward. She looked over her shoulder as she left the yard. Jasper was still watching her.
It was wrong making him choose between his morals and his duty. Altarn had always stressed that they should be the same. But this had to be done and there was no one else she could trust.
She hadn’t been out riding in the dark since her time in the army. She couldn’t decide if the anticipation inside her was a warning for things that might lurk the dark or if it was hesitation at finally being able to enjoy peace and quiet. She was going to believe the latter.
It was strange being alone, almost as if it should be forbidden. She couldn’t remember the last time she wasn’t surrounded by her court or her servants. Even before she became Lady, she had lived in the university for several years with many other men and women pursuing their selected arts, and the time of her military service too, living in crowded barracks.
But looking onward down the silent dark road, she was able to tap into an essence of what she was like before she was Lady. Carefree. Joyous. That essence bloomed within her… empowered her. She accepted it, and for a small moment, everything made sense, everything from what went right to what always went wrong, and she accepted them both as equal necessary parts to human growth.
Travel was sparse this time of night, even on the trade route she was on. Rumors of war did a lot to embolden people in their worries for safety.
She had gone two miles when a ranger came riding easily up the road toward her. His brown horse was draped with pink and brown regalia, declaring the ranger as working for Niesh’s territory. When he was close enough, he shone a lantern rigged with internal mirrors to cast a direct beam of light at her. She held up a hand to shadow her eyes.