by Jane Merkley
They returned to their room inundated under gifts they knew they would not be able to bring back with them unless they were leant pack horses to ferry it all.
Altarn bathed and watched the mud swirl down the drain. Byrone had not appeared and she was set to leave tomorrow morning. It would have to be tonight.
She dried and dressed, replacing his necklace on her neck. Picking up her bag, she left the room. She came to his bed chamber door. The hallway was dark and most of the servants had bedded down. She knocked.
She waited but there was no answer. She thought about barging in anyway, since they obviously had no scruples about the other’s sense of privacy, but she refrained. Maybe he wasn’t even in the room.
She knocked and waited one more time. Nothing.
Her nerves told her she should abandon the quest, that he was avoiding her for a reason, but she felt the necklace on her neck and had to know.
She went next to the public bathing room. The copper bowls of water in the floor were cooled for the night and it was vacant.
One more place and she would relent. She remembered the way to the castle top gardens, and was remarkably disappointed when he wasn’t there either. Maybe he really was away on state affairs, but the main castle doors remained shut.
She sat on the bench and waited, hoping he’d surface, dreading he would. Then she laughed at herself, knowing how silly she appeared. The Lady of Blindvar determined not to be subdued by anyone, had been swooned by the Lord of Ruidenthall, the very man who had fed her with so much threat and hate. She looked at herself and how she had been even seven months ago and would have retched at the very thought of what she was doing now. Maybe she was a fool, but the necklace was an unanswered question.
She waited, but Byrone never showed. Regret pinched her heart. She pulled Lotus out of the bag she had brought and set it on the bench, already feeling a small loss. It was silly and she knew it. But she had run out of ideas. A note might work, but what would she say in it?
She stood and brushed the dirt from the back of her legs, hugging her arms to her. She still waited another moment, and then left the room. Disappointed.
Victory
She didn’t need to wake, because she hadn’t slept, and she already knew that a man who caused her to lose sleep was no good.
She ate her breakfast slow, listening to the joyous talk of her company who were very sad to leave such a great celebration. She wasn’t much hungry, either.
She was certain that Byrone would appear at their departure, so he could at least be seen once, like she had made herself seen, but Torren stood before them again and announced his continued regret that the Lord of Ruidenthall was still indisposed, but had given Altarn’s company five horses as a parting gift and to show his regret that he was not present.
Her heart crashed to her boots and she almost tore the necklace off her. She hated how irritated she felt over the whole thing. It was an emotion that numbed every other sensible emotion and turned warriors into sobbing fools. She hated it, and hated it now even more because she had actually fell for it, if just for a moment.
She felt better hating Byrone as she left, because it filled that aching void within her with something she knew well and could manage with a clear head. The five horses were laden down with all the gifts the townspeople had given them, and with the sun rising on their right, Altarn’s company left the courtyard.
The people lined the streets and wished them well, waving and kissing the air at their parting. Altarn felt like a goddess with so much adulation surrounding her.
They finally left the city, passed the statue, and crossed the plains into the forest.
The sun blazed over head. Altarn rubbed her eyes and drank several deep gulps of water to wake her. She shoved a handful of sunflower seeds into her mouth and was able to remain alert while her tongue worried over the cracking shells.
She soon caught herself nodding off and jerked back awake to surprise herself that she had stayed in the saddle. Maybe she had gotten good at it.
They stopped at a stream to water the horses. Altarn stretched and walked around, feeling blood rushing to her brain and limbs. It kept her awake for another twenty minutes down the road, but sleep was getting harder to chase away the warmer the sun got and it was certainly too early to break for camp, and she was not willing to explain to her party why she didn’t sleep a wink.
She looked blearily over at Jasper, and wondered if it would be overstepping their professional boundary if she asked him to support her while she slept. She had to be careful what she did and said around her company of men. Being a female, it was much easier for men to assume the worst about a woman’s questioning, even if it was innocent. She hated the double standard, but it was what it was. So she decided against it.
She caught her head dropping and she sat upright, knowing with a surety she could make it. She woke up again because the horse jostled the reins and snorted. She hadn’t even known she had fallen asleep.
She promised that she would make her company stop for camp in an hour. It would be mid day but would not be quite as strange as doing it so early in the morning. She could make up a reason once she reached that point.
Her head drooped again. The horse ambled casually. Altarn didn’t even feel herself start to slide off the saddle.
An arm scooped her up before she made it completely out and hoisted her rather brutally into another saddle. She jerked awake and panicked as she oriented herself, soon realizing what had happened.
“Oh…” Her relief was clear. “Thank you, Jasper.” But she looked up and saw that Jasper was riding in front of her. Then she thought in horror, was it Perseth? But he was riding next to Jasper.
Unease filled her. Just as she was about to ask to whose saddle she occupied, a low voice spoke and she felt the rumble against her back.
“Do you ever sleep?”
A rush of dread and pleasure rushed through her at the same time. She tried to kill the pleasure, but it wouldn’t die. Her voice caught in her throat and she found her mouth suddenly too dry to speak easily.
“Only… only when you… are around.”
“Should that flatter me? I had thought maybe it was because you left your purple horse in my garden.”
Her fingers shook as she touched the tattooed arm that held her. A gray traveling cloak trailed down Byrone’s legs, the same cloak Altarn’s own party wore. He must have acquired it to blend in without being recognized. Altarn’s horse had slowed to the rear of the company due to Altarn’s lack to urge the horse forward, so no one had noticed her absence yet. But she was watching them all get farther ahead.
Slowly, almost unwillingly, she slid out of the saddle, watching him slowly.
He tilted his hooded head at her. “Not sure what that look is for, actually.”
“I’m not certain what you are up to, is all.” she responded in a careful, calculating matter, watching his body language for any betrayal.
“Perhaps I should be asking that same question since you saw fit to arrive in Greatmar in my absence.”
“Wait… you really were gone?”
He rolled his eyes in an exasperated manner. “Yes… I was really gone.”
“But the castle doors were closed.”
“Forgive my servants for being forgetful. So… why were you in Greatmar?”
“I…” Altarn cleared her throat and couldn’t meet his eye. “I wanted to know why you left your necklace.”
He raised an eyebrow. “I would say it is close to the same reason why you are wearing it.”
She touched her neck and found the necklace dangling outside her shirt, having been jostled out from her transition from saddle to saddle.
Hooves pounded behind Altarn and she turned to see Jasper riding up to her. He reined the horse to a halt.
“Lady Altarn,” he began, then looked up to the rider still on his horse. “Lord Byrone?”
“Hello, Jasper.”
Jasper looked at Altarn and
then back to Byrone. Altarn watched a dangerous glitter of mischief glow in Jasper’s eyes. He cleared his throat. “If you have chosen to extend your vacation in Greatmar, then,” he began, “I will notify Perseth who will be proxy Lord in you absence.”
“Wait… what?”
“Of course you will have to make it official when you reach Greatmar and send a bird back saying so.”
“Jasper, I don’t –”
But he had already taken custody of Altarn’s horse still standing idly by and started to lead the animal away with him. “Enjoy your vacation!” he hollered back at her.
Altarn tried to go after him, but he kicked his horse into a run and both horses ran ahead so soon they were out of sight.
“I like that guy,” Byrone said behind her.
I hate that guy. Altarn spun around, not sure to feel angry, betrayed, or…
Byrone held his hand down to her. Altarn looked back to where Jasper had disappeared.
“I’m not making you come with me,” he said, “though Jasper thinks you should walk to Blindvar if you don’t.”
Altarn continued to look Jasper’s way, knowing he’d ride back because it was all a joke. But he didn’t.
“Which way, War Queen?”
Clearly walking to Blindvar was not an option. Besides, she was tired and she could finally sleep.
Slowly, hesitatingly, she slid her hand into his callused one and he pulled her up. She stiffened as she made contact with him in the saddle.
“You’re not going to chain me up in my room again, are you?”
“Well… maybe not your room.”
Altarn rolled her eyes, but was simply too tired to think of a retort. Byrone slapped the reins and pulled, turning the horse around.
It didn’t take her long to stop hating Jasper, for the brief moment that she had. It also didn’t take her long to loosen up and accept the rest against Byrone that he invited with a gentle pull of his arm. She sunk into him, too tired to fight out what was invading her heart, so she let it in, soaking in his heat that finally filled the endless void within her. She closed her eyes. She decided she would stay in Greatmar for a short while. She could use an extended vacation.
And she slept.
O O O
I can’t say that I’m surprised, even though I have tried really hard to be. Had you not told me all the details before I last saw you, I would believe you were stupid. But in the light of the facts, the only thing it can be is sensible. You should visit sometime. You’d be surprised to find all the things you thought you failed at were actually your greatest successes. Perseth even grumbled for the short time he was defaulted into State Head in your place that he wanted you back because the job was too hard for his liking. I do hope this short letter finds you to let you know I am thinking about you. You could have at least hinted where you eloped to – a rude thing to do to me and Jasper, by the way, so it’s a good thing we both like you enough to not care too much about not being invited. But, oh well. I can’t say I’m surprised about that. either. After all, it was a pretty bold move, the Lady of Blindvar eloping with the Lord of Ruidenthall. I’m not sure if you’d be mobbed or trampled to death by poets who wanted to be the first one to tell the story. But… do surface once in a while. Tell Byrone I promise not to throw mud on him. You didn’t tell him I tried to poison him at the dinner, did you? Oh… did I tell you about it? Never mind. Hope to hear or see from you soon.
Your friend,
Lady Kyree of Blindvar
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