I slowly moved to try and look at them again.
Uly flicked his cigarette out the open front door and slammed it shut. He ran a hand through his hair and it fell back down to the same way it always was. I caught sight of Miss Whitaker and she looked like a knockout. Wearing a black and white dress with thin straps over her slender shoulders. I swore I spotted a tattoo at her right collarbone but I wasn’t completely convinced my eyes were capable of telling the truth.
“And I made a promise,” Uly said. “From the second you moved in here. You remember that, Lake?”
“I do, Ulysses. And I also remember that I’m… old enough… to make my own decisions in my life. So, again, thank you for worrying about me. I’m not sure if I’ll see Brendan again or not, but if-”
“You know, that makes it worse.”
“How?” Miss Whitaker asked.
“You’re just going on dates and kissing guys? What is that?”
Miss Whitaker laughed. “That’s me being who I want to be. And my next step is to kick your ass if you don’t get out of my face.”
She reached up and patted Uly’s face.
They were like brother and sister, with Miss Whitaker being older but Uly being protective. It sort of made sense in my head but there were still a lot of pieces missing for me to get it.
The second Miss Whitaker turned toward the steps I turned and ran back to the bedroom. I ran like a monster was after me (maybe that was true) and I dove toward the bed. I hit it with a bouncing thud and scrambled to get under the covers.
I heard Uly enter the room.
He walked to the fireplace and I kept my eyes barely open to watch the glow of the shadows in the room grow bigger as he put more wood on the fire.
We definitely did not need a fire or heat in the room, but it sure made it cozier.
Uly then came to the bed and went back to the same position as before. His right arm reaching around my body. Pulling me toward him. I let out a purring sigh, feeling good, pretending to be asleep.
“You suck at this, doll,” he whispered.
“What?” I asked in a groggy voice.
“Cut the shit. You’re wearing my shirt. You make as much noise as an elephant walking on bubble wrap.”
I rolled to my other side to face Uly. “Did you just call me an elephant?”
“Something wrong with that?”
“Asshole.”
“Says the girl spying on me.”
“Trying to figure things out,” I said.
“Like what?”
“Seriously?” I asked, lifting my head. “You live with Miss Whitaker. Or she lives with you. And you, what, monitor her dating life? Like some overprotective father or something…”
“Your point?”
“I don’t get it.”
Uly grinned. “You don’t like not having the entire story, do you?”
“No. I hate it. Somewhere in my head the story has to make sense.”
“And I don’t make sense?”
“Nothing here makes sense, Uly.”
Uly stroked my cheek. “Good. Nothing needs to make sense.”
“Uly, do you have feelings for Miss Whitaker?”
His face dropped. “What does that mean?”
“It means what I asked.”
“As much as that would fit what’s been said or assumed about me in life, the answer to your question, doll… not in the way you think.”
“You were worried about her. It was sweet to see.”
“Not worried,” Uly said. “Just wanted to make sure I had one less thing to worry about.”
“And what else do you have to worry about?”
“For starters… I worry about how much more I can hold back with you.”
“You had your chance, Uly. I was willing. Then I was half naked in a bed with you. What’s the problem?”
“There is no problem, Belle,” Uly said.
“Good. Because we’re still in this bed together.”
Uly leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “Fuck, doll…”
The lights suddenly came on in the bedroom.
I hurried to sit up, my heart racing.
The first thing I thought about was Miss Whitaker finding me in bed with Uly.
Nothing happened! I swear! I can explain this!
Not that it was any of her business. Or anyone’s business.
“Oh, fuck me, he’s getting her first?”
I swallowed hard and stared at Hil as he walked across the room.
Then came Ash.
He shut the door behind him and locked it.
My lip curled and my hands balled up into fists.
Ash turned the lights off again.
A few seconds later, all three of Them were on the bed.
With me.
* * *
“Can I smoke in here?” Hil asked as he put the flame from his lighter to his cigarette.
“No,” Uly said.
“Good,” Hil said.
He took the first drag of his cigarette and fell to his back. He stared up at the ceiling and made O’s with his smoke. I glanced down at him and his icy, gray eyes moved to mine.
“And you thought I was the rotten one of the group, huh, beauty?”
“Shut the fuck up, Hil,” Ash said.
“Why don’t you shut the fuck up, Ash?” I asked. “Are you done with your whore for the night?”
“Damn,” Uly said. “It’s getting cold in here.”
“Let him talk, Uly,” Hil said.
“You two could leave,” Ash said.
“It’s my fucking house,” Uly said. “You’re lucky I’m letting you both in here. This is for Belle. It’s for her protection.”
“Because of the Rulz, right?” I asked. “Yet you never say anything about it. You never talk about it.”
“Then let’s talk about it, angel,” Ash said.
I showed Ash my middle finger. “I have nothing more to say to you. Your breath smells like cunt. Hope you have a doctor to call to get whatever antibiotics you need to clear up whatever she gave you.”
Hil sat up like a monster in a scary movie. His left hand grabbed Ash’s left shoulder. “Good luck, brother.”
“Stepbrother,” Ash said.
“You two are fucking pathetic,” Uly said.
“Why did you even have us come here then?” Ash asked.
He and Uly stared each other down.
I hated how sexy Ash was.
Of course Lila wanted him. Everyone wanted him. The hair. The face. The eyes. The body. The build. The tattoos…
I gritted my teeth and focused on my anger.
“I’m tired,” I said. “See you in the morning.”
Ash grabbed my hand.
I gasped for a breath.
I pulled my hand away.
“I’m going to have to cut my hand off now,” I said.
“Just tell her,” Hil yelled.
“Tell me what?” I asked.
Ash looked around the bed. “Tell me you two didn’t…”
“Uly and I?” I asked. “Four times. In a row.”
“Without stopping,” Uly said.
Ash swallowed hard. He shut his eyes for a few seconds.
They were all crazy jealous about one another over me.
That part made zero sense.
“Lila and I go way back, angel,” Ash said.
“That’s how you want to start this?” Hil asked.
“You two get out of the room,” I said to Hil and Uly.
“The fuck I will,” Uly said. “My bed. My room. My house.”
“My rules,” I said.
Uly curled his lip. “Is that so, doll?”
I swung my feet from the bed to the floor and stood up.
I knew what Uly wanted. He wanted me out of the bed if I was going to be alone with Ash. Not that I’d let something happen… maybe…
When I stood in front of the fireplace, I folded my arms and moved my eyes from the bed to the door.
>
“Come on, Uly, you can buy me a beer,” Hil said.
“You walk to the front door and go outside,” Uly said to Hil. “This isn’t a walk down memory fucking lane.”
Hil looked at me and winked. “Just call me if you need anything, beauty.”
“She’s not going to need anything from you,” Uly said.
They left the bedroom, still arguing like old friends.
Old friends.
That’s what they were. And something tore that apart.
When it was just Ash and I, we stood shoulder to shoulder, facing the fireplace.
The heat was warm and soothing.
And I really was dead tired.
I felt like I had mostly slept off the booze, but the pending hangover had already shown up.
“I know what you saw tonight, doll,” Ash said.
“Me too. And here I thought going to a party to forget you all was a good idea.”
“I had to see her tonight,” Ash said.
“Right. Had to. You know what, Ash? This conversation doesn’t need to happen. It doesn’t matter. We’re not a thing. Me and all of you… me and Them… not a thing. Never going to be a thing either. I’m not going to get passed around by you three. Because I’m not rich and I’m not from around here. You know that without warning I can leave.”
“That’s the fucking point,” Ash said. He looked at me. The fire danced off his amber eyes. “That’s the fucking point, Belle. Before you showed up, I had made my move on Lila. We go way back too. She used to live next to me. Then everything changed. And to me… she was an easy target. Past and present made it that way.”
“Wow,” I said. “So behind the secrecy of the asshole is just another version of an asshole.”
Ash grabbed my hand. I pulled it away and slapped him across the face.
He stepped toward me and I somehow ended up pinned between him and the fireplace.
“I’ll call for Uly. I bet he’s standing right outside the door.”
“That’s what you want, angel. To see us all fight.”
“Go back to Lila. She’s easier.”
“She was never mine,” Ash said. “I was going to have her until you showed up. I went to Raza’s to let her know that.”
I laughed. “Right. So that bitch and her other friends hate me to begin with. And now you’re telling me you told her you’re not going to fuck her because… of me?”
“That’s right,” Ash said. “She was drunk. Yeah, I touched her and I know the way it looked. But I needed her attention.”
“I bet she got yours.”
“Maybe you should ask yourself why you’re so jealous.”
“You know why,” I said.
“Which is why I’m telling you what happened. My personal life isn’t your concern, but I’m telling you anyway.”
“Okay. Whatever.”
“Nothing happened,” Ash said.
“Sure,” I said.
“I’m telling you something.”
“I’m telling you something, Ash. Well, I already told you. It doesn’t matter.”
“Your hurt over it,” he said. “Because you feel something. That’s why we’re all here, angel. And I’m telling you that I told Lila to stay away. For you. I’ve never done that before. When I see what I want, I get it.”
“So this is you being romantic?”
Ash moved fast, slipping a hand behind my neck. He put his forehead to mine. His lip curled high into the air.
“You’re wearing his shirt,” Ash whispered. “And your breath smells like his cigarettes.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
Ash had his lips an inch from mine.
“We’re going to end this East vs. West shit that Uly caused,” he whispered. “And then this… this becomes-”
The door busted open. “Time’s up!”
Uly’s voice carried through the room.
Ash and I looked at Uly as he stood with a cocky grin on his face.
Hil trailed behind him. He had no problem walking right up to me, even with Ash’s hand still at the back of my neck.
“Don’t worry, beauty, we’ll get our time alone too,” Hil whispered. “But you’re looking fucking tired. Maybe a little drunk. Maybe a little more hungover. You should get some sleep.”
I caught myself nodding, my tongue almost ready to start wagging as Hil spoke.
“We’re not leaving,” Ash said.
“Just fucking great,” Uly said.
“Where are you sleeping?” I asked Hil.
But I meant to ask Ash too.
Or all of Them.
Hil cut between Ash and I, forcing Ash to move his hand from me.
Smart move.
Hil walked to the bed and jumped on it.
He let out an ahhhh sound.
“Get the fuck off the bed, Hil,” Uly said.
“Make me,” Hil said.
Uly didn’t hesitate a second as he charged toward the bed.
Ash moved faster, getting to Uly first. “He’s breaking your balls, man. Back off.”
“Tell your little brother to move,” Uly said.
“Stepbrother,” Ash said.
Hil swung his legs across the bed. He swiped a pillow and looked at me. “I’ll be right here on the floor, beauty. In case you fall out of bed. I’ll catch you. Or if you need a little attention in the middle of the night.”
“It is the middle of the night,” I said.
“Then I’ll be ready for the morning. Funny how women wake up yawning and guys wake up hard…”
“Get new jokes, Hil,” Ash said.
He walked to the couch and sat down.
I turned my head and saw Uly had his hand out for me to take.
I got back into the bed and curled up under the covers.
Uly was next to me, his head propped up on the pillows, eyes shut. I leaned over the bed just enough to see Hil. His hands were behind his head. I had no idea how he was comfortable, but there was something really sexy about him being able to sleep like that.
I picked my head up and looked at the couch.
Ash stared at the fire.
I bit my lip.
I opened my mouth, almost wanting to whisper Ash’s name.
He slowly turned his head and looked at me.
The fire making him look meaner than normal. But still so gorgeous.
I bit my lip again.
And Ash just stared.
Something was happening.
With all of Them.
And I wasn’t sure if it was good. Or bad.
But I secretly knew the answer to that.
eight
The bedroom was empty by morning.
Which sort of let me down.
I was hoping to wake to good morning kisses from Them.
That made my cheeks burn hot.
Who am I right now?
Who I was in that moment was a girl who needed to pee, needed a cigarette and needed coffee.
So I checked off that list in that order.
There was a bathroom in the bedroom.
Check.
I grabbed my phone along with my cigarettes.
Check… plus another small one…
I walked through the house carefully, making my way to the kitchen.
I looked around.
I was alone.
The smell of coffee danced through the air.
There was a coffee cup on the counter.
I poured myself coffee.
Which made me laugh because it was the first time I had to pour my own coffee since coming to BFH. I was used to Jo’s house where someone had the coffee made, poured, and ready the way I liked it. This morning I had to make my own coffee…
I carried the coffee cup, along with my phone and cigarettes to the back door of the house. I balanced everything in one hand as I slowly opened the door and stepped out to the concrete back porch area. It was just like the front porch but bigger. Vines, greens, flowers…. everywhe
re. With the sun hitting the back porch at the right angle, it was heaven.
I let out a long sigh of relief.
“Fuck, this is nice,” I said.
“Yes, it fucking is,” a voice said.
I jumped, spilling hot coffee on my hand.
I screamed and watched as Miss Whitaker sat at a metal table, her knees tucked to her chest, smoking a cigarette.
“Miss Whitaker,” I said.
“Belle,” she said. “Here to hand something in?”
“No… I… um…”
“You slept in the guest room,” she said. “Duh. Ulysses never goes in there. But he was there last night.”
“It’s not… there was a party…”
“Sit over here with me, Belle,” she said.
I walked to the table and put my stuff down. The metal chair scratched against the concrete and I slowly sat down, putting my knees to my chest, pulling Uly’s shirt down to my ankles.
Miss Whitaker looked at me. “Did you lose your clothes too?”
My face burned red. “I wanted something comfortable to sleep in.”
“I can see that.”
“Miss Whitaker… I don’t know what you think… or what I…”
She took the last drag of her cigarette and put it out against the edge of the table. She grabbed her coffee and took a sip.
“I like to come out here and think about the day ahead. The way the morning greets us. Not many people do that, Belle.”
“I don’t,” I said.
“You are right now. So what do you see?”
“I…”
“Come on,” Miss Whitaker said. “We can write something quick together. How about something like a… like a haiku?”
“Okay. Sure. Yeah.”
Miss Whitaker pulled a notebook out of nowhere.
That made me want to smile.
“You still write?” I asked her.
“A writer never stops writing.”
“Why did you…” I shook my head. “Sorry.”
“Why did I stop writing? Or pursuing getting published? How did I end up living here? It’s all crazy, right?”
“Yeah. It is.”
Miss Whitaker slid the notebook toward me. “Write me something. First thing that comes to mind.”
I opened the pen and looked down at the blank page.
the fire, it just burns
silent whispers tell all i know
i bite my lip, shh
I looked up and Miss Whitaker reached across the table and took the notebook.
NOT SO Beautiful: a bay falls high novel Page 8