You’re good at writing, Belle. Face it. Can’t argue with someone who used to write songs.
I gasped.
I hadn’t even thought about that yet.
That Uly and Hil wrote songs together. That meant… lyrics… duh.
My breathing became really shaky as I stopped walking.
I was turned on by Hil.
Turned on by Uly.
I was addicted to Hil’s wildness.
I was addicted to Uly’s casual coolness.
You should let me read your lyrics then.
That went to Uly.
I’m almost home. Walking slow. Are you texting and riding? ;)
That went to Hil.
I started to walk again and my phone went off with replies from both.
Ohgod…
Hil was first.
I do whatever the fuck I want. If you’re walking slow from what happened on the beach just wait…
My cheeks turned red.
Told you already… not a chance in heaven or hell
I sent the text.
Then I screamed.
I sent the text to Uly.
His message had come through when Hil’s did and I was on the wrong screen.
You can earn your way to read what I write, doll
And my response to Hil went to Uly.
Uly replied back…
Heaven or hell? I’ll take the in between.
My face burned hot.
I opened the texts to Hil and made sure it was him.
Goodnight Hil.
I went back to the texts with Uly.
Goodnight Uly.
They were both sent.
I tucked my phone into my back pocket and touched my red hot cheeks.
This was getting to be a little too crazy for me.
But I couldn’t stop…
In fact…
I reached for my phone again.
Both Uly and Hil replied to me.
I didn’t even read their texts.
Instead, I went to another name.
I really wasn’t sure if I was in heaven, hell, in between, or some new universe.
But if I was going to enjoy Them…
I sent one more text.
Just to fuck with Ash.
twelve
I leaned against the side of the car and finished my cigarette before going to class.
I wasn’t allowed to park where I parked. I wasn’t allowed to smoke in the parking lot either. And it felt good to do both. Or maybe it didn’t. Or maybe I just didn’t give a fuck anymore.
Before I got to the main doors of BFH, I spotted Lizzy from the corner of my eye.
She ran toward me with her eyes wide.
Almost like she knew something.
About me.
About me and Uly.
About me and Hil.
I kept my composure as I walked through the doors, pretending to ignore her.
“Don’t you dare ignore me, you bitch,” Lizzy said as she caught up.
“What?”
“Where the hell have you been?” she asked.
“Catching up on my beauty sleep,” I said.
“Yeah, right,” Lizzy said. “I feel like I haven’t heard from you in weeks.”
I looked at her. “Really?”
“You were with Them. I know it.” She leaned toward me and smelled me. “I can’t figure out who you fucked first though.”
I stopped and grabbed Lizzy’s hand. “Don’t say that. That’s not funny. I’m not that kind of person.”
“Whoa. Okay. I was just kidding.”
“I don’t care. Don’t say that.”
“Then give me something, Belle. What have you been doing?”
“Trying to figure Them out,” I said. “That’s the truth, Lizzy.”
“What’s the truth?” Danica asked as she bumped her shoulder into my arm on the other side of my body.
“Nothing,” I said.
I felt Lizzy and Danica staring at each other.
“It’s okay,” Danica whispered to me. “Shit got crazy after Raza’s party and stuff…”
“Yeah, it did,” I said. “I have stories to tell.”
“Oh, that’s perfect,” Lizzy said. “I love stories.”
“You love gossip,” Danica said. “It’s like mental masturbation for you.”
“What?” Lizzy said.
I looked at Danica and smiled. “That was pretty good.”
Danica shrugged. “That’s the one smart thing I’ll say all year.”
I stopped at my locker and Lizzy went to hers next to mine.
Danica leaned against the locker to my right.
“Are you still pure?” Danica whispered to me.
“What?”
“Still innocent and clean?” She winked. “I wonder who it was… who’s going to play with that cherry and who’s going to eat it.”
I laughed. “You’re gross.”
“It’s true. I can sense it. You really love it. All of it. And you have no idea what you’re in the middle of either. It’s almost like watching a baby deer walk out into the middle of the road. And then here comes a big ass dump truck and the driver can’t stop.”
I nodded. “You know, I threatened Lizzy a minute ago for what you’re saying right now.”
“So then threaten me,” Danica said.
“Okay, whispers,” Lizzy said as she slammed her locker. “What’s the big secret?”
“Belle was threatening me,” Danica said.
“About what?” Lizzy asked.
“I think Danica looks like a baby deer,” I said with a grin. “And here comes the dump truck… beep, beep…”
“Dump trucks don’t beep,” Danica said. “They…”
“Dump truck?” Lizzy asked. “What the fuck are you two talking about?”
“Oh, speaking of a dump truck, here comes something that loves to take anything from behind,” Danica said with a head nod.
I turned my head and sighed at the sight of Sophie, Maya, and Lila.
Fucking Lila.
My mind replayed the images of her and Ash.
His hands… her body… the way she wanted it… loved it… the fact that Ash was planning on…
Lila curled her lip and gently waved to me.
I waved my middle finger at her.
Sophie clutched her chest. “Ohno… not the middle finger… how will I ever get over that…”
“I’ll hold you, Sophie,” Maya said.
“Sure you can carry her fat ass around?” Danica asked.
Sophie looked at Danica. “Fuck off, whore.”
“It’s okay,” Lila said. “Belle was just reminding me I was first in line. With Ash.”
“Oh, that’s right,” Sophie said in a fake, surprised voice. “You and Ash were at Raza’s.” Sophie rolled her eyes. “How silly of me to forget. How was that?”
“Well, it was definitely more than one finger,” Lila said.
“Stupid bitch,” I whispered.
“I told you, Belle,” Lizzy whispered to me. “With Them…”
I stepped away from Lizzy and blocked Lila’s way.
“You okay, Belle?” Lila asked. “I know you were a little drunk. So let me explain everything that happened. Better yet… I think I can still taste Ash on my lips. Wanna taste of your own.”
Lila puckered her lips and kissed the air.
I nodded.
My head and heart both said the same thing - yup.
I punched Lila in the lips.
* * *
Sophie screamed like someone in a horror movie about to be killed. Maya sprang into action, which really surprised me. She seemed more of a puppet than a fighter. I took Lila to be the fighting kind.
Lila fell to the hard, checkered tile floor in a heap of her own rotten cunt self. Holding her mouth, looking up at me with a look of shock that suggested she would never talk about Ash again. Or go near him. And whatever may have happened between she and Ash was going
to somehow get erased from her mind.
Maya slammed me against Lizzy’s locker.
I threw my left elbow, hitting her in the boobs.
She tried to slap me but I got out of the way and her hand smacked the locker.
That hard smack! sound sounded like it really hurt.
When Maya looked at me again, I had a fist ready for her face.
Before I could throw the punch, the rotten cunt Lila clawed at my ankle.
No, that’s not a joke…
She sank all ten nails into my ankle and leg and pulled.
I turned and stomped down on her shoulder with my other foot.
That gave Maya enough time to try and slap me again.
She connected this time.
The hot pain stung my cheek as I stumbled back.
Danica jumped into the fun then, taking hold of Maya’s right arm and throwing her into Lizzy’s locker.
I jumped toward Maya, wanting to get a slap to her stupid face too, but she slid out of the way. I looked back and down at Lila as she got up into a seated position.
“You’re still second best,” she said.
“Oh, you fucking…”
The hallway turned red as both of my hands balled up into fists.
Someone touched my shoulder.
I shook them away.
Then it turned into a hug.
And I was off my feet.
I tried to throw elbows but couldn’t.
“What the fuck are you doing, angel?”
When I saw Ash’s gorgeous asshole face, I wanted to scream.
“What did you do with her?” I asked. “She thinks she can brag to me? Fuck her. Fuck you too.”
Ash put me down. I kept those same two fists tight as I slammed them off of his rock hard chest. He barely moved. My wrists hurt.
“Belle…”
“Don’t ever say my name again,” I said to him. “You had your chance and you lost it. Go clean your whore up off the floor. Or better yet, leave her there. You probably like it that way. Dirty ass fucking mess.”
Ash reached for me and I got out of his reach to go finish what I started with Lila.
“Principal Werthwood!” Sophie then shouted. “Come get Belle! She’s lost her mind!”
“She made Lila bleed,” Maya said as she started to help Lila to her feet. “I’m taking Lila for medical attention.”
Medical attention? Bitch, please, there isn’t enough pills to fix that rotten cunt.
I looked back at Danica and nodded.
She grabbed Lizzy and they hurried to get away.
I looked at Ash.
Principal Werthwood walked by him, telling him to go away.
I nodded to Ash.
I mouthed fucking go.
And he did.
The rest of the hallway scattered, leaving me standing in the middle of the hallway, facing Principal Werthwood.
He looked really pissed.
My cheek throbbed.
“Did you hit her first?” Principal Werthwood asked me.
"Lila? That bitch never got a chance to hit me. She hit the floor. Rotten cunt.”
Principal Werthwood’s eyes went wide.
I showed him my hands.
“Show me the way to your office.”
* * *
Goddammit… I was starting to cry.
That was the one thing I did not want to do in front of Principal Werthwood. I didn’t want to appear weak or whatever.
But my cheek stung and I couldn’t stop thinking about Lila and Ash. Even with my mind gently offering the memory of both Uly and Hil and what they had done to me…
Now my face was turning red in front of Principal Werthwood as he stood behind his chair. Leaning forward with his hands gripped to the back of the chair. His tie hanging over the chair. A dark gold colored tie.
“Want to tell me what happened out there, Miss Bablebit?”
“Please, call me Belle,” I said.
“No.”
I sank lower into the chair. “Okay then.”
“I’ll ask again…”
“She walked into my fist,” I said.
“Miss Bablebit…”
“That’s what happened,” I said. “I made a fist and held it up. I was pretending to fight off some creep. Just in case.”
Principal Werthwood wasn't having it.
Why would he?
I was being a bitch.
And why not?
What was he going to do?
Kick me out?
“This will be out of my hands if I don’t get the truth,” Principal Werthwood said. "I will have to call Miss Thornburn and-”
“Dr. Thornburn,” I said.
“My apologies,” he said. “Dr. Thornburn. But more than that, it’ll be up to Miss Catone on what she wants to do.”
“Lila?”
“Yes. You punched her. That’s violence.”
“I think of it more as a disagreement.”
“That’s not how you handle disagreements.”
“It is where I’m from.”
“You’re not there anymore. Unless you want to be.”
“Make the call then,” I said. “I’ll gladly leave this place.”
Principal Werthwood gritted his teeth. “You’re putting me in an unfair position, Belle.”
Belle?
A rapid knock hit against the heavy door of Principal Werthwood's office.
And it didn’t stop either.
Not until he opened the door.
And in flew Miss Whitaker.
“Belle? Oh, Belle…” She slapped her own forehead. “This is all my fault. I take full responsibility for this, Principal Werthwood."
“How so, Miss Whitaker?” Principal Werthwood asked.
“You have to understand… Belle might be the best writer to pass though my class… ever. I’m not just saying that either. She’s brilliant. Much like Ulysses. But in a different way.”
“What is your point?” Principal Werthwood asked.
“I’ve been pushing her. Giving her assignments. Asking her to open herself up. To really capture her voice. I… I must have asked too much of her. She had an assignment to work on. About standing up for herself. Empowering herself as a woman. Not a student. Not a young woman. But a woman. She and Lila… it’s personal. Womanly.” Miss Whitaker rolled her eyes. “Timing… of things… that happen… to women… once a month…”
Principal Werthwood stepped back. “Are you trying to tell me-”
“Let me take Belle,” Miss Whitaker said. “She can finish her work there for today. Keep everyone separate.”
“This doesn’t mean Miss Catone won’t be pursing this.”
“She can pursue all she wants,” I said with a laugh. “What is she going to do? Sue me? For what? I don’t even own the clothes I’m wearing. That bitch can-”
“Belle, please shut up,” Miss Whitaker said with a smile and her eyes wide.
I cringed and covered my mouth.
“I don’t like any of this,” Principal Werthwood said. “This is not how this building functions.” He looked at me. “Time of the month or not…”
“Noted,” I said. “I’ll mark my calendar and take a five day break next month.”
Principal Werthwood sighed. He addressed Miss Whitaker again. “You really feel Miss Bablebit is exceptional in her creative writing studies?”
“Yes,” Miss Whitaker said. “I think we all know that my class is considered bullshit.”
“Miss Whitaker,” Principal Werthwood growled.
"Give it up, Hagan,” she said.
Hagan?
Principal Werthwood didn't look impressed at all. “Excuse me?”
“You need my class to make this place look fancier than it already does. Most everyone who comes through that class uses it to sleep or gossip. But Belle has talent. Real talent. Raw talent. I’m actually going to be submitting some of her stuff to personal contacts.”
“I’m not sure that should b
e allowed,” Principal Werthwood said.
"How are you going to stop me?” Miss Whitaker asked.
She’s. A. Dorky. Badass.
Standing there in a sundress that came down to her ankles with her little black shoes sticking out from under the dress. A thick, knitted shawl over her shoulders. An emerald green pendant on a necklace that did not match the sundress at all.
And Principal Werthwood backed down from her.
He walked back to his desk and sat down.
“Miss Bablebit, you can go,” he said. “If anything happens with Miss Catone, you’ll hear from me. So will Dr. Thornburn. As far as the creative writing goes, I’d like to read some of it myself.”
“What?” I asked.
“Done,” Miss Whitaker said. “I’ll email you, Hagan. I mean, Principal Werthwood. Sorry.”
“Both of you please leave,” he said.
Miss Whitaker waved her hand at me.
I jumped up and got the hell out of there.
We ran through the office together and into the hallway.
Then we stopped and she crashed against one wall and I crashed against the one opposite to hers.
We both started to laugh.
“Holy shit,” I said.
“You punched Lila in the face?”
“Yes, I did,” I said.
“Over a guy?”
“That’s right.”
Miss Whitaker sighed. “I might end up losing my job because of you, Belle. I need a cigarette after what just happened.”
I pointed to the door. “I could use one too.”
Miss Whitaker pushed from the wall. “Then let’s fucking have a cigarette and write something worth reading.”
* * *
Miss Whitaker took bad ass to a new level.
When I moved toward the door, she grabbed my arm and pulled me back.
She shook her head, winked, and led the way through the halls to her room.
It was mostly dark, with the exception of the sunlight coming through the windows.
She turned on the small light like she always did and pointed to me standing at the door.
“Close the door and pull a chair over to it. If you angle the chair the right way, it basically keeps the door from being opened.”
“Okay,” I said. I pulled a chair to the door and stuck it under the handle. “Is this allowed?”
“Nope,” she said. She walked to the window, and as she opened it, she said, “And neither is this…”
NOT SO Beautiful: a bay falls high novel Page 13