I had failed. I threw myself to one side expecting an attack, but no attack came. I turned to see who had thrown up the thread in defence of Marcus and wasn’t overly surprised to see Renee readying herself for a second attack. I didn’t want to fight Renee, but it she was standing between me and Marcus. This couldn’t be allowed; Marcus must die. The voices in my head demanded it. That order couldn’t be ignored, but I didn’t want to fight Renee.
I couldn’t hurt Renee. Something snapped inside of me as a thread launched from my fingers. The thread was aimed at Marcus, but Renee easily intercepted it as Marcus got back to his feet. My thread smashed harmlessly into the wall behind her. I pulled it back and brought it around for another strike.
“I don’t want to fight you.” Renee warned as she readied her thread again.
“Then get out of my way,” I growled as I readied myself.
“No. If you want to get to him, you’re going to have to go through me!”
I didn’t want to fight Renee. The words kept repeating themselves in my head like a mantra. I blinked several times as I realised the silence around me was deafening. The whole bar was staring at me in horror. I looked around warily as I backed away from the table. Marcus and Renee both took steps forward in pursuit. It was obvious that they weren’t going to let me just walk away from this. But that was, okay. I wasn’t going to go anywhere while Marcus still lived.
An impasse of sorts settled over the bar as the three of us stared each other down. The Mana was starting to throb down the left side of my body and my head was pounding. I couldn’t keep this up for much longer. I clenched my fists and prepared myself. I needed to do something while I still had the strength.
“Don’t!” Renee hissed. But it was too late I was already on the move.
I leapt backwards to give myself a little bit of space then let my thread swing wide to shatter the windows behind me. This caused panic, shouts and screams and a rush of people for the door. My feeble plan was that the chaos that I had created would distract Renee and give me a chance to strike Marcus down.
Well, that plan had failed. Now that Marcus was prepared he had raised a shield. It was a strong one and it would be unlikely that I would be able to break through it in my current condition.
Renee leapt forward and a thread arced towards me. It took everything I had to bring my thread around in defence. My own shield was beginning to waver and I knew it wouldn’t last long against this kind of abuse.
I had to get Renee out of the way so I could deal with her father who had yet to act in his own defence. He was staring at me strangely as if trying to figure something out. The look on his face brought another bout of rage to me and caused me to throw caution to the wind and launch a string of savage attacks at him.
My attacks went wide as I inevitably reached the end of my strength. My last thread impacted against Marcus’s shield, but it was horribly weak. There was a slight flicker as it absorbed the assault, but otherwise there was noticeable effect. If I were at my peak I would have been able to tear that shield down around him. It was powerful, but I had seen stronger – perhaps Marcus himself wasn’t as powerful as I had once thought. Unfortunately I wasn’t exactly able to draw upon my full powers. There was no way that I could win this, but the voices in my head insisted I continue with this fool’s folly. I had no choice.
I felt Renee’s thread smash against my shield, but for some reason the shield held. That was impossible. I knew for a fact just how weak my shield was right now. It should have shattered instantly. Renee obviously wasn’t striking to kill.
Part of me was glad about this. It meant that I might survive this ordeal. A deeper part of me anguished at the fact that it would drag this out. More than anything I wanted this to be over. Why wasn’t she ending this? The pain in my head and the pressure pulsing throughout my body as I forced the Mana to my will was almost overpowering.
The feeling of my pulse pounding throughout my body overtook me as my blood slammed against my veins. At this point I wasn’t thinking clearly any longer, my actions were primal and uncontrolled.
Why hadn’t someone ended this yet? Was it because they couldn’t? Although Renee was much stronger than me right now, the ferocity of my attack kept her on the back foot, she seemed unwilling to take the offensive. This led to a balance of powers: Renee could strike me down, but refused to do so for risk of killing me, and I refused to strike her as my target was her father.
Marcus stood by and watched impassively. This was infuriating! Why hadn’t he intervened? He could end this farce now and yet he was allowing it to continue. My subconscious screamed at him to kill me while Victor’s voice in my head ordered me to kill him. A cacophony of voices demanded things in the confines of my head and I was rapidly becoming too dazed and exhausted to pay much attention to them.
I needed to do something and I needed to do it now before my strength finally gave way. I swung a Mana thread at Renee hoping to knock her out of the way to allow me a clear shot at her father. But she easily blocked it and sent another arcing toward me. I gritted my teeth as I awaited the impact of her thread. There was very little I’d be able to do to stop it anyway.
I tried in vain to increase the strength of my shield, but my remaining reserves had been depleted. There was nothing left – I was drained. The impact rocked my shield and caused me to fall to my knees. Somehow my shield survived the impact and remained around me. It was weak, but it was still there. I pulled myself together as I rose in fury and attempted to draw forth more strength that I didn’t have.
My whole body tensed at the effort and I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth as the pain increased with vengeance. Then all of a sudden it was gone. The respite only lasted for a second before it returned threefold. My wrists felt like they were on fire.
My will dissolved under the increased assault and the Mana finally fled and my world became pain. I pulled my wrists up in front of me and watched, incredulous, as purple bruising spread rapidly across them. The pain was almost more than I could stand.
I fell to my knees as I grasped my right wrist. The bruising caused by internal bleeding was spreading rapidly. The pressure of my Mana use had finally become too much and I had ruptured the arteries in my arm. I was now freely bleeding internally.
My vision went blurry and the noise around me echoed and reverberated through my skull. I could see Renee and Marcus closing in. With any luck they’d end it for me. The pain was almost more than I could bear.
I fell forward but Renee managed to get to me before I hit the floor. I felt her wrap her arms around me as she pulled me to her. She was talking to me, but her words were lost in the chaos in my mind. She seemed to be calling my name, but I couldn’t actually make out the sounds. My eyes glazed over and darkness overtook me. For the second time in the past few days I hoped that I wouldn’t awaken.
* * * * * *
For the second time in the past few days I woke up when I didn’t want to. Someone up there hates me, I’m sure of it. I woke up in a soft bed in a room I didn’t recognise. It took me several seconds to fully regain consciousness. As I brought my hands up I noticed that someone had bandaged my wrists. It took me several seconds to remember why they required bandaging. The pain that I felt now was but a grim shadow of the agony that I had felt before I lost consciousness. As the details of the past few days came flooding back, I glanced around the room to see if I could find who had bandaged me, but I was alone.
The room wasn’t very large and was nicely if sparsely decorated. I sat up and was able to see out onto the street below. It was a good bet that I was still in Paris. The street outside certainly looked Parisian.
I couldn’t tell if this was a good thing or not. There was a chance that I was about to be executed for my crimes against the order. I could only hope that whoever had placed me here had seen to that and that I was safe – at least for the moment. It was a good bet that Renee or Marcus was responsible for my recuperation and obvious medical treatment. N
o one else knew where I was and this didn’t look like a hospital room. That didn’t mean that people weren’t still hunting for me. I must have made quite a mess before I had been brought down. That would have been hard to hide that from the general populace, especially considering the number of people that had fled the scene during the fight.
It was possible that I was going to get into quite a bit of trouble for that. Oh well, I already had one death sentence – what more could they do?
I gently ran my fingers across the bandages. It didn’t feel too bad, it was slightly stiff and throbbed slightly, but that may have had more to do with my experience over the past few days. I slowly lifted the bandages to reveal an ugly purple and blue bruise that ran from the bottom of my hand to half way to my elbow. There wasn’t any pain, which I took to be a good thing. I’d had enough pain in the past few days to last me the next three years. I flexed my fingers slightly as winced as pain lanced through my wrists.
I was actually lucky to be alive. I had no idea how many arteries I’d managed to rupture in my wrists, but the cases I’d found of people suffering rupturing from excessive Mana use hadn’t been pretty. Most had been fatal. It seems that someone up there wasn’t done with me yet.
I contemplated getting to my feet and getting out of here, but couldn’t muster the effort required. My head fell back into the pillows as I reflected that this was the most comfortable that I’d been in quite some time. I might as well enjoy it while it lasted.
I must have dozed off because the next thing I remember was being roused by the sound of a door opening. I blinked several times as I groggily came of my senses. It was much later in the day as the streetlights were on. It took me a moment to recognise who had entered the room. It was Renee, but she looked different, I couldn’t place why though. It was obviously her, but I’d never seen her like this before. She had a softness to her that I’d never noticed before. She’d never seemed more beautiful. I couldn’t explain it I couldn’t quite see her properly in this poor light, but something was definitely off here.
“How are you feeling?” she asked softly as she moved closer. She was carrying a tray, which she placed on the bedside table.
“Better than I should,” I replied with a grin as I leaned forward in the bed to inspect the bowl. It looked like tomato soup. I hate tomatoes, I was hungry – but not that hungry. I carefully reached out and tentatively wrapped my fingers around the glass. It hurt a little but I was able to bring it to my lips with minimal effort.
Renee scooped a chair and brought it to the side of the bed and nodded grimly, “You’re lucky to be alive.”
I couldn’t argue with her. Whatever was wrong with her? Was it possible that this wasn’t Renee? No, I was sure that this was Renee or someone had really, really done their homework.
“I’m a little surprised to be alive. I did try to kill your father.”
Renee nodded briskly, “I can see why you’d think that. Marcus thought it would be a waste and a little unfair considering that you were under a compulsion.”
I nodded grimly. Renee wasn’t looking at me squarely in the eyes.
“He tried to remove the compulsion but wasn’t sure how successful he’s been,” she continued softly. “He said it was quite different from anything he’s seen before.”
“He’s obviously done some good,” I replied, “my subconscious isn’t screaming at me to kill him.”
“Well that’s something at least,” Renee smiled relieved. “He thought it best to keep some distance. You were in pretty poor shape and he wasn’t sure you could endure any further strain.”
“Hard to argue with that.”
“Do you need me to feed you?” Renee asked softly, gesturing towards the soup.
“Okay, what’s going on?” I grumbled irritably. Renee would never play nursemaid unless something was really wrong.
“What? Nothing?” Renee’s eyes flared with their usual fire.
“Why are you being so… so… nice?”
“I’m not!” she said curtly, still not looking at me directly.
“What’s going on? Am I about to be executed?”
“No, fortunately that problem seems to have been resolved – at least for now.”
Renee was talking in riddles and it wasn’t helping.
“Renee, tell me what’s going on.” I begged.
“Marcus asked me not to. He said—”
“I don’t give a fuck what he said! Just tell me.”
Renee held up her hand and looked at me. There was a deep sadness in her eyes as she said her next words.
“What do you see?”
I peered at her hand. Nothing was out of the ordinary. She flexed her fingers and the room was bathed in light. I blinked several times as the sudden burst of light hurt a little. What the fuck? Why did she do that? Who lets off a glow spell in a well-lit room?
Then it dawned upon me and my stomach went cold. I hadn’t seen the Mana she’d used to create that glow. I glanced up – I couldn’t even see the Mana flickering and burning as it interacted with the air. All I could see was the light generated by the reaction.
I blinked several times and attempted to force my vision to change. It didn’t. I turned to Renee who was looking at me with that same look of sorrow.
“I’m sorry, Devon.” She whispered.
I threw back the covers to inspect my chest. There was no Mana there either. Zip, nada – nothing. I looked normal!
“Who did this to me?” I got to my feet. Renee leaped forward to help me as I stumbled but I pushed her away as I made my way to the mirror. I looked at my reflection in and didn’t recognise myself without the Mana. I looked so weak and so… human.
“No one did this to you,” Renee replied sadly from behind me. “You burnt yourself out. You did this to yourself.”
I glanced briefly at her trying to detect if there was a hint of a rebuke in her words, but she seemed genuine. I stared at her for several seconds as the ramifications of this sunk in. I had failed. There was no way I would be able to rescue Allie like this. Victor would sweep me aside as easily as I would brush a fly from my shoulder. Renee endured my scrutiny with good graces, until I turned back to face my reflection in the mirror.
My normal, round irises seemed to scream accusation as they stared back into my depths. I had once hated the eyes of my former kind, they marked me as different when I wanted to be normal. I had once intentionally cast off my powers and tried to live that lie. Now I had no choice. I was normal and I hated it. The irony was sickening.
I closed my eyes and rested my head against the cold surface of the mirror. I felt Renee’s hand rest gently on my shoulder.
“I know you don’t want to hear this now,” Renee began, “but this might be for the best.”
“Get out.”
Renee didn’t argue.
I spent the majority of the night staring into that god-forsaken mirror cursing my fate. The rest of the time I spent staring into my outstretched hands attempting to will the Mana to flow down to my fingertips. The sensation was so tantalisingly familiar. I could almost feel it. The shiver and the rush of excitement as the Mana arced down my wrists to do my bidding.
I would flex my fingers and await the inevitable hit of endorphins – a hit that never came. After several minutes of this I would return to the damned mirror and examine my normal face. Without the Mana my features looked different, softer, weaker and much more vulnerable.
This wasn’t the face that Vin had seen when I had cast him down. Had he seen this face he would have justifiably ended my pitiful existence. I hated this face. It wasn’t mine. It was like staring into a stranger’s face.
I had once thought like this about the Mana. I had called the eyes of my former kind “stranger’s eyes”, but that was what I was staring into now – stranger’s eyes. It was made all the more worse that they stared back at me with disdain.
“You’re going to get past this,” Renee said from the door. How long had she had be
en standing there? I resented the intrusion and only grunted in response. Renee came in and put a small of piles of clothes on the bed.
“I would have given everything for this when I was a teenager,” Renee said, sitting on the bed.
“... and what about now?”
“I don’t know,” she mused, “maybe. The Mana hasn’t exactly meant I’ve had a happy life so far.”
I nodded. “Yes, but that would be your choice. This wasn’t mine.”
“No,” Renee smiled sadly, “but you play the cards you’re given.”
“What am I going to do now?” I whispered. I wasn’t sure if Renee had even heard me.
“I’ve left you some clean clothes. You should at least make an attempt to leave the room today.” Renee said lightly as she made her way to the door. “And as for what to do. You can do anything you like, you’re finally free. Get dressed, breakfast is waiting for you in the dining room.”
She shut the door behind her.
* * * * * *
They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but I didn’t feel any stronger. In fact, I felt weaker, diminished and wholly terrified of the whole prospect. I did as I was instructed, putting on the clothes that Renee had left for me. I toyed with the idea of ignoring Renee’s suggestion, but the grumbling of my stomach convinced me otherwise. As I came out into the corridor a woman walking past my door nodded at me. I quickly discovered that there were many people staying here – wherever here was. I passed several people in the hall, going about their morning routines.
Any one of them could be a Mage, at any minute they could strike me down with a telekinetic thread and there would be nothing I could do to stop them. I couldn’t even see their Mana signatures as warning. To walk amongst them without knowledge of their reality was one thing, but to do so forewarned was simply terrifying.
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