But I didn’t stop.
I didn’t stop slamming into Delaney until my dick started to soften. I made sure every last drop of my seed was nestled deep inside her womb. When I did finally pull out, I fell onto my back and pulled her to me. I felt her hot tears on my chest, but I didn’t ask about them. Nor did I hurry to clean us up. I liked us laying there dirty with one another.
After a few minutes, I asked that one question that needed to be asked, “Delaney, are you on birth control?”
Her body shot up and the gasp that escaped her was loud enough to be heard downstairs. She looked down at me, eyes wide and face pale. “You…you didn’t…you didn’t use a condom?”
I smirked and shook my head. “Nope,” I admitted. “And I’m not ever going to.”
Chapter 22
Delaney~
My body felt like I’d been run over by a bus. Even though we had only been able to have sex three times throughout the night, my body still felt like it had been taken a million times over.
Because Deke hadn’t been slow or tender, in the least, my body had shut down after only three times. There had been no longer any pleasure towards the end and that’s when he had finally taken mercy on me.
But Holy Bejesus, those first two times? Oh, there had been pain, quite a bit of it actually, but the pleasure? The pleasure had been overwhelming enough to ignore the pain.
But more than that? Seeing Deke Marlow lose control to have me had been like an intellectual orgasm. I hadn’t cared what he had been doing to my body because my mind had reached an altered state where making Deke lose control had validated me, somehow.
His inability to go slow, to make love to me, had me believing every word out of his mouth about how desperate he was for me. Even knowing I’d never be as important to him as his friends, his frantic mating had made me feel like I mattered. I was significant to this guy. And for a wallflower, whom no one ever paid attention to, that was an aphrodisiac I was afraid I might be addicted to.
The only time he had showed any tenderness at all was after the first time. He had run a hot bath to ease some of the discomfort from his invasion into my body. We had sat in his tub with the jets on until our skin had started pruning. After that, Deke had taken me to bed again, and repeated everything he had done the first time. He kissed me all over, bringing me another climax before thrusting into me brutally again.
I wish I could say I was offended that he hadn’t taken care with my body, and that he ruined my first, second, and third time, but I couldn’t say that. His unreasonable need fueled my need to matter to someone. Oh, I knew I mattered to Ava, but she was about the only person who I mattered to on a personal level. I mattered to my parents and the Reynolds as a means to an end.
And as pathetic as it was, the bruising, the bite marks, the hickeys…I reveled in them because, a few days from now, they would be proof that last night really had happen.
“You hungry?”
I looked up and Deke was in the doorway, one shoulder leaning against the frame. I winced as I sat up in Deke’s bed, but that couldn’t be helped. I hurt all over. “A bit,” I replied feeling a bit awkward, which was ridiculous considering this guy has had his face in between my legs.
His head jerked towards the nightstand. “There’s a glass of water and some ibuprofen,” he said, and I turned my head to see a glass of water and two little tablets, and my heart stammered.
I reached over and grabbed the water and pills and downed them in one swallow. I looked back at Deke and asked, “Can…is there time for me to take a shower?”
He stood up straight and walked towards the bed. “It’s Saturday,” he said casually. “There’s time for whatever you want.”
Those last words had me wishing I wasn’t so sore, which reminded me…“Deke, we need to talk,” I said as my stomach hollowed out.
He sat down next to me, and his hand reached out to caress my thigh over the sheets. “Yeah? About what?” It was hard to concentrate looking into the portrait of such perfection. Deke Marlow was hot as hell. His black hair and green eyes were a lethal combination all their own, but throw in that face and body? No one should be so good-looking.
I finally snapped out of my daze. “We…we didn’t use protection last night, Deke,” I reminded him. “Not only was that unsafe, it was super reckless. Never mind an STD, a baby would bond us for life.” I wish I could say my inexperience made this all Deke’s fault, but I couldn’t. Yeah, the first time fell more on his shoulders since he was the one with the experience, but I hadn’t protested the next couple of times, knowing I was unprotected. I chose pleasure over responsibility and I wasn’t going to pretend otherwise.
Deke cocked his head and the edge of his lip lifted as if he was trying not to laugh at me. “Lamb, if you want to get on the pill or something, that’s fine,” he replied. “However, we’re going to keep fucking without protection until you do.” He shrugged a shoulder. “If you get pregnant, so be it.”
I stared at him dumbfounded.
Absolutely dumbfounded.
He couldn’t be serious.
My mind got to working again. “Are you out of your mind?” I whispered, stunned. “Who in the hell wants to be a parent at eighteen-years-old?”
Deke laughed, further substantiating his insanity. “If it means I get you forever, I’ll knock you up every goddamn nine months, Delaney.”
I searched his green eyes for signs of alteration, because he had to be on drugs, right? “You…you cannot be serious, Deke,” I sputtered. “No one wants to be parents in high school. No one.”
He really laughed this time, as if he was privy to some little secret. “I know two guys who would argue that point,” he chuckled.
I didn’t like being laughed at. I sat up straighter and smoothed the sheet over my lap. “Ramsey and Liam don’t count,” I flung back.
His brows rose at my tone. “And why don’t they count?”
“Because those love stories are legendary, Deke,” I pointed out, as if he didn’t know.
He smirked. “Ahhhh, I see,” he said, his voice dripping with superiority. “Legendary…”
I wanted to smack him again.
“Yes,” I huffed. “So, it’s okay if Emerson or Roselyn get pregnant because they’ll want for nothing for the rest of their lives.”
“And you think if I get you pregnant, I’ll what?” he asked. “What exactly do you think will happen if I knocked you up?”
Why were we even having this conversation? I just freakin’ lost my virginity, and Deke was talking about pregnancy like…holy shit.
“Do you have kids?” I asked incredulously.
Deke’s head reared back, and he looked offended. “Fuck no, I don’t have any kids,” he barked. “Why would you think I have kids?”
Was he for real? “Be…because you’re sitting here talking about knocking me up every nine months as if it’s no big deal!” I screeched. “You’re also talking about teenage pregnancy like it’s…normal, or okay.”
Deke rolled his eyes, and I seriously wanted to do him bodily harm. “First off, there is nothing wrong with a person if they get pregnant early.” He shrugged a shoulder. “Shit happens. Second, we have more money than most. If you or the girls got pregnant, it’s not like it would be a struggle.”
My eyes felt like they were going to pop out of my head. “We’re teenagers, for Christ’s sake, Deke. We have futures that would be changed forever by a pregnancy.”
He shrugged a shoulder again. “All I’m saying is that if you don’t want to get pregnant, you better work out your birth control soon, because I’m not wrapping it up.”
My stomach started churning with an ugly thought. “Do…do you have unprotected sex often?”
I wasn’t sure what it was about my question, but Deke looked murderous all of a sudden. “I’m not going to discuss the other girls I’ve slept with, with you.”
“I have the right to know,” I hissed, hurt, jealous, and confused. I didn’t
want to discuss Deke’s other conquests any more than he did, but I had the right to know. If he was insisting on having unprotected sex, and I was too weak to stop him, I needed to know.
His mask fell back into place as he said, “I’ve only had unprotected sex with one other girl in all my life. I can run to the clinic for bloodwork if you’re so worried about it, Delaney.”
I could swear my heart stopped beating.
Everything that made me a girl wanted his words to have been that, I was the only one, but hearing him admit he’s gone bare with one other girl broke my heart. A small part of me wished for the rumor about him and Roselyn to be true because then I’d know, without a doubt, that she’d be the girl he was referring to. If not…well, then that meant there was a girl in Deke’s past that he cared enough about to risk his future for.
And then I thought about how I’d feel if it were Roselyn. They were so close, would I feel jealous? Would their friendship make me feel more insecure than I already was?
But then I got to thinking about Roselyn and Liam, and I knew that if Roselyn was that girl, whatever they had was long gone. Liam, Roselyn, and Deke wouldn’t be as close as they were if there were any residual feelings between Deke and Roselyn.
But I already asked that question, and since Deke wasn’t going to tell me anything, I didn’t have an answer I could be satisfied with. So, I did my best to seemed grownup and unaffected. “A blood test seems rather ridiculous at this point, don’t you think?”
Deke stared at me, and because his poker face was back on, I had no idea what he was thinking. He chucked all conversation when he said, “Go take your shower and meet me in the kitchen for breakfast.”
“Then what?”
“Then you spend the rest of the day and night hoping you don’t get pregnant,” he replied.
Chapter 23
Deke~
I finally allowed Delaney to go home Sunday evening. It was hard, but I had to finally admit that we needed some space. Everything was happening too fast for her, and while I didn’t give a fuck, she was unhappy, and I couldn’t allow that.
Oh, she spent all weekend letting me pleasure that body of hers, and I introduced her to things that would have had her grandmother clutching her pearls, but Delaney had been unhappy. Even when I was fucking her relentlessly, she hadn’t been happy. She had been horny, lustful, aching, and delirious with pleasure, but she hadn’t been happy.
She’d been…heartbroken, and I knew it was because I admitted to having bare skin sex with someone else before her. The jacked-up thing? I loved Linnie to pieces, but had I known I would come to feel the way I felt about Delaney, I never would have gone bare with Roselyn. I would have stayed in my lane and let that be for Liam. I was Delaney’s only one, but she wasn’t mine, and I could see how that would make her feel unimportant.
I had thought about telling her I loved her, but I was afraid she’d think I was only saying it to help pull her out of her insecurities. I wanted Delaney to believe me when I told her. I also knew I was going to have to talk to Linnie about all this.
We were all posted in front of the school like we usually were, only this time, I was going to let Delaney and Ava walk to first period together. I needed to get my shit together before I approached her. I wanted to be able to tell her about Roselyn.
“Fuck, man,” I said, running my fingers through my hair as I watched Delaney and Ava pass us. “How do you guys fucking do it?”
“Do what?” Ramsey asked.
“Let Em and Linnie out of your sights,” I replied, frustrated beyond hell.
Liam snorted. “I wouldn’t if she didn’t live with me,” he answered.
“He’s right,” Ramsey added. “Waking up with Emerson every morning and going to sleep with her every night is the only thing that allows me to let her have a life during the day.”
“Move her in, Deke,” Liam said. “Move her in this weekend, or you will lose your mind with that unanswered freedom she has.” Ramsey grunted in agreement.
We were silent for a bit before I said, “She asked about Roselyn Friday night.”
“What did you tell her?” Ramsey asked.
“Nothing,” I admitted. “It’s not my secret to tell.”
Liam’s eyes widened, and they looked like huge blue orbs. “You actually told her it was none of her business?”
“No,” I huffed. “Well, not in those words, exactly. I just told her never to question me about Roselyn ever again.” My two best friends were looking at me like I was the dumbest motherfucker on the planet. “What?”
“Deke, how much do you like this girl?” Ramsey asked. I just stared at them, not saying the words. Ramsey let out a deep breath. “That’s what I thought.”
“You’re going to have to tell her, Deke,” Liam advised.
“And what about Linnie?” I asked. “We always agreed her reputation would be a priority.”
Just then the girls returned from the restroom, and all conversation ceased. It wasn’t that any of us were ashamed of the relationship Roselyn had with me and Liam, it just wasn’t a topic anymore. Besides, it had taken a lot of convincing on Liam’s part, so that Roselyn didn’t think badly about herself for what she had done with us, none of us wanted to chance her slipping back into that mind frame.
But I had to talk to her about it.
I needed no secrets between me and Delaney.
The first warning bell rung, and I said, “Linnie, skip first with me, will ya?”
She looked over at Liam. “If I skip with Deke, can I persuade you to share your notes with me?”
Liam’s grin was positively wolfish. “I’m positive you can,” he replied with a wink.
Emerson laughed while Ramsey just said, “Let’s go before we all fucking skip.”
As the gang headed towards the school’s entrance, I grabbed Linnie’s hand and walked her back to my car. We needed absolute privacy for this conversation, and I didn’t want to wait until this afternoon when we got out of school. I wanted to settle this…discomfort with Delaney the sooner the better.
Before I lost my ever lovin’ mind.
I opened the passenger side door for her, and once she got settled, I closed the door and made my way around the hood to get into the driver’s side. When the door shut behind me, she asked, “What’s up?”
This was harder than I thought it would be. I was asking Roselyn to give up a piece of herself for someone she didn’t even really know. But I had to do it. I was in love with Delaney, and…well, I just had to do it. “Delaney asked me about you Friday night,” I told her.
Linnie’s bottom lip disappeared between her teeth. After a few seconds, she asked, “About the rumors?”
I nodded. “She asked me if the rumors were true,” I admitted.
“What did you say?”
“I told her to never ask me about you again.” Linnie’s eyes widened. “Then, she asked me if…if I’ve ever been bare with another girl before.”
“With another girl?” she stressed. “So, you guys slept together this weekend? It’s official?”
I nodded again. “We went to my place after I dragged her out of the party, and she spent all weekend with me there.”
Linnie’s blue eyes crinkled as she smiled. “Do you love her? Or is it too soon for that?”
I snorted. “Have you met Ramsey and Emerson?” She laughed, but it was time to get serious. “Yes, Linnie,” I answered. “I love her-correction, I’m in love with her.”
Roselyn was quiet for a few seconds before saying, “Let me tell her, Deke.”
“Lin-”
She threw her palm up to stop me. “Just hear me out, Deke,” she said, and I nodded because…well, this was Roselyn. “No girl wants to know half the story. You can tell her what happened and explain how it’s over and all, but she’ll have questions about how I feel. Hell, she’ll have questions about how Liam feels.” Roselyn reached over and took my right hand in hers and squeezed. “You can tell her you have no fee
lings for me other than friendship, but she’ll wonder if I have any.”
“But-”
“Deke,” she continued, interrupting me, “trust me. From someone who…knows, and is a girl, she’ll have questions you can’t answer. She’s going to want to know if…threesomes are something you’re into and if she’ll need to…accommodate that.”
“That’s bullshit, Linnie,” I barked. “You were the only one and…you were special. That wasn’t...”
She shook her head but smiled. “I know that, Deke. I’ve long…gotten over my issues. But…unless you were there, it’s hard for people to wrap their minds around what we did. Hell, I was there, and I struggled to wrap my mind around it.”
“What about Lee?”
Roselyn shrugged a shoulder. “You know he doesn’t care about that stuff.” She let out a soft laugh. “One thing Liam’s made clear is that he’s not ashamed of me or what we did. The secrecy was to keep me and Emerson from having to fight them catty bitches that would have come out of the woodwork had they known.”
I laughed because she wasn’t wrong. Liam and I had never been ashamed of what we shared with Roselyn, but we weren’t ignorant of our popularity. We knew if our arrangement had gotten out, Roselyn’s life would have been hell. And Emerson’s a fighter. She would have been scrapping left and right to defend us.
Looking over at Roselyn, I knew I needed to trust her. “Are you sure this is the way to go?”
“We’re the emotional ones, Deke,” she answered. “It’s better to hear the explanation from someone of the same mindset.”
I understood what she was saying, but I didn’t necessarily agree with females being the emotional ones, because Delaney made me feel all kinds of emotions. “Okay,” I conceded. “We’ll do this your way.”
“Can I ask you something?’ she asked.
“Sure.”
“Admittedly, I don’t know much about Delaney because we’ve never run in the same circles, but…” Roselyn gave me a sad smile and I wanted to punch something because I knew what she was going to ask. “Well, do you think she’ll-”
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