I dropped my arms. “Oh, stop it, Winston,” I snapped. “You and I both know my parents couldn’t care less where I’m at or what I’m doing. They were just pissed their little ambush didn’t work.”
“Jesus Christ, Delaney,” he swore. “Why can’t you just stop it? Why can’t you just stop being so selfish for a second and think about what you’re doing to all of our lives?”
“Me, selfish?” I screeched. “Are you serious? I’m being selfish because I want to be happy in life? Are you kidding me, Winston?!”
And then he confessed something I had no idea about. “Your parents are broke, Delaney!” he yelled, revealing the ugly truth. “Your dad has a gambling problem, and he’s on the verge of losing everything.”
“You’re lying,” I whispered, stung and hurt.
Winston ran his hands through his hair, and lifting his face to the sky, roared to the Heavens, and I knew he was telling me the truth. He looked back down at me and said, “It’s true, Delaney. He has a gambling problem, and your mother either doesn’t know or doesn’t care.”
I tried to process the words, but in the middle of realizing he was telling me the absolute truth, something else occurred to me. “What do your parents get out of this, Winston?” I asked. “What do they get out of this besides the partnership they always hinted to?”
“Delaney-”
“Tell me!”
He was quiet for so long, I didn’t think he was going to answer me, but he finally said, “There’d be no prenup, Delaney. Your father changed his will to leave every patent and discovery to you. Our marriage gives my dad the right to every medical breakthrough your father has ever been involved in.”
I shook my head. “No,” I whispered in denial. “If it’s all mine, then it would go to our children, or you if-”
This time, it was Winston shaking his head at me. “As your husband with no prenup, I’d have the right to sign everything over to my dad.” The breath left my body and the edges of my sight faded in and out. My parents were broke, and Winston’s parents were going to bail them out, using me as the currency. This wasn’t an arranged marriage to strengthen two dynasties.
This was extortion.
Oh, it might have started out that way when we were ten and the agreement had been made, but Winston’s father was clearly more craftier than my own.
Ava.
Ava had a horrible reputation for being a bitch and a whore. She did drugs without a care in the world, and she played with guys no matter who was watching. She was beautiful, wild, ferocious, and wonton with no regard to what people thought of her.
She was, by all accounts, these horrible things, but she’s the only person in all my life who has loved me, defended me, and stood by me unconditionally, asking for nothing in return.
Meanwhile, the people with reputed reputations of class, money, pedigree, strength, and power were the weak ones who have used me and let me down time, and time again.
Fuck. These. Assholes.
“Well, it doesn’t matter what our parents had planned, Winston,” I replied. “It’s over. All of it, it’s over. I want nothing to do with you, your parents, or even my parents.”
“You can’t mean that, Delaney,” he clipped out. “How will you live?” Spoken like a true spoiled, entitled piece of garbage.
I found my first genuine smile in days as I said, “I’m going to work. I’m going to work, earn an honest living, and surround myself with people who want what’s best for me-not them.”
“Delaney, if I don’t get you to-”
I barked out a humorless laugh. Of course, he was only here because he was at risk of losing something. “It’s over, Winston,” I said, each word stressed with meaning. “As soon as I pack my last bag, I’m out of Sands Cove.”
His eyes popped, and he reared his head back. “You can’t be serious?”
All of a sudden, I realized I didn’t owe Winston any more of my time. I didn’t owe anyone in this town anything. Ava and the housekeeping staff were about the only people in the world who warranted my respect.
But there was one thing I wanted to know. “Who posted that picture, Winston?” I asked. “Was it you or my mother?” I wasn’t sure he was going to fess up, so I said, “You owe me.” By now, he had to have heard about what had gone down at the cove.
He sighed before admitting, “I…I doctored the picture for your mom, but she’s the one who posted and tagged it everywhere.” I figured that’s what had happened. I wasn’t surprised, but I was disappointed that his words still brought out an emotional response from me.
“I need to get back to what I was doing, Winston,” I said, my voice defeated but…substantial; strong.
“Delaney-”
Whatever he was about to say was cut off by a white Lexus racing up the driveway behind my car, and all I could think of at a time like this, was how at least Winston was courteous enough to not block my car in when he drove up.
How silly.
Winston and I stood side-by-side was we both watched Deke Marlow get out of his car and stomp up the driveway.
It hurt.
It fucking hurt to just look at him.
I was going to need more than five days to steel myself against the love I regrettably still felt for him.
Chapter 35
Deke~
Seeing Delaney standing next to Reynolds took me back to the day she had aligned herself with him at school and I had kicked his ass. Only, this time, I was in the wrong here, and Reynolds was irrelevant.
Ignoring Winston, my eyes ran over Delaney from head to toe and back up again, and she looked exhausted; lifeless.
I wasn’t any good at this sort of thing, so I did what I always did when I wanted something.
I took it.
“We need to talk,” I told her.
Before she could reply, Reynolds tried to play at being her hero again, and that was all it took to make me snap. “Deke, Delan-”
I threw my left, then followed up with my right hook. He fell back and as soon as his ass landed on the grass, I was on top of him. But before I could get a third hit in, Delaney had thrown herself in between us, shielding him, forcing my arm to reach back and drop.
“Are you insane?!” she screamed. “What is the matter with you?!”
“He doesn’t belong here!” I roared.
“Neither do you!” she yelled back.
I stood up, grabbed her arm, and yanked her to me. “You either go in the house with me right now, so we can talk, or I will, swear to fucking God, kill him, Delaney.” I wasn’t exaggerating, either. Searching for her as my life fell apart all around me, only to find her with Reynolds, was fucking me up.
Her beautiful chocolate eyes rounded in outrage. “How dare you?! You have no right-” I dropped her arm and whirled back around towards Winston to finish the job.
But before I could reach him, Delaney threw herself in front of me to block me. “Stop it!”
“You’re always trying to fucking save him, Delaney!” I yelled. “Why?!”
“I’m not trying to save him,” she argued. “I’m trying to end this bullshit!”
“Then go inside and talk to me!” I demanded. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Winston slowly getting up and I wanted so badly to knock the motherfucker back down.
Delaney faced Winston and said, “Winston, you need to leave.”
“But-”
“Leave, Winston,” she repeated. “And understand I don’t ever want to see you again. Ever.”
My heart was thundering inside my chest because I was sure I was next. She didn’t have any reason to hate Winston more than she hated me and her voice was ice cold and unfeeling as she spoke to him. His eyes shot to mine and he must have believed what he saw in them, because he gave Delaney a tight nod, and walked towards his car to leave.
The second his car was out of sight, I turned back to Delaney. “Baby, I-” The slap was so powerful, my head snapped sideways causing a wave of heat to shoot
up my neck.
But I deserved it.
I deserved that, and so much more.
“Don’t ever call me that again,” Delaney seethed. “I thought I told you I never wanted to see you again, Deke. What are you doing here?”
My face stung like a motherfucker, but I’d let her hit me again if that’s what she needed to do to purge out all her hate and hurt. “I know, Delaney,” I replied. “Ava told me everything.”
She didn’t look surprised at all over that little announcement. Delaney had adopted a hell of a poker face, and I hated it. “So?”
There were a million things I could say to her to try to excuse my behavior, but the truth was, there was no excuse. I hadn’t trusted her, and that’s where I had failed her. I hadn’t trusted her and, in doing so, I had lumped her in with the group of people who weren’t trustworthy, and that was wrong of me.
So very fucking wrong of me.
I had nothing but naked honestly to offer her. “Tell me what I have to do, Lamb,” I replied.
Gone was her poker face. Now, she looked murderous. “Do not call me that,” she snarled. “I am not your lamb. I am not your anything.”
“Tell me what I have to do, Lamb,” I repeated because she was my lamb. She was my lamb and I’ll crawl behind her for the rest of my life, just like Ramsey said, if she forgives me. I’m pretty sure I’ll crawl behind her even if she doesn’t forgive me.
“What you have to do for what, Deke?” she asked, stepping away from me and giving herself some space.
“To get you to forgive me,” I replied simply.
Delaney’s eyes widened a fraction of a second before she let out a hurtful, bitter laugh. “Are you serious?” she asked incredulously. “Do you honestly think, for one second, I would ever forgive you for what you did to me?” Her brows drew downward. “Do you truly believe I’d forgive you for humiliating me the way you did? For flaunting Melissa in my face? For not trusting me? For telling everyone I’m horrible in bed? For telling me to abort your mistake?”
I flinched at that.
Every word was like the lash of a whip. A lash I deserved for what I had done to her. But I couldn’t let guilt distract me from my goal here. I knew I didn’t deserve her forgiveness. I knew she deserved better. I knew I’d never be worthy.
But that didn’t matter.
I had been struggling with living without her when I thought she had betrayed me, so knowing that she hadn’t?
There was no way I was letting her go.
“Tell me what to do,” I repeated.
“Leave me alone,” she responded, certain of her answer. “Leave me alone and never bother me again, Deke.”
“I can’t do that,” I told her honestly.
“Well, then I don’t know what to tell you, because that’s all I want from you,” she said again.
“Delaney, I’m sorry. I-”
“I don’t want you to be sorry!” she yelled, dropping her cold act. “I don’t want an apology from you! I want you to leave me alone, Deke! I want you gone from my life, my memories, my everything!”
I refused to believe that. I had to. I’d lose my mind otherwise. “And if you’re pregnant?”
I watched her spine snap straight, and pure loathing crawled across her beautiful features. “Then I’ll charge it to your tab,” she said, throwing my words back in my face.
“You’d really do that?” Intellectually, I knew there was nothing I could do about what choices she made regarding her body. Emotionally, I knew I deserved her words and that threat. But I couldn’t bring myself to believe she’d really do that.
Her eyes started to shine, and I knew she hated the idea as much as I did. “Luckily, we never have to find out,” she said, gracing me with a mercy I hadn’t granted her. “I started my period yesterday.”
I stepped towards her, but she matched my step and move back from me. “Delaney, I’ll do whatever you ask of me, except leave you alone,” I told her. “I fucked up. I know that, and you’ll never know how sorry I am. But I love yo-”
“Don’t,” she spat. “Do not tell me you love me. You don’t love me, Deke. You don’t know the first thing about love and how to love someone.”
“That’s not true,” I argued.
Delaney took a deep breath and I could see my presence taking a toll on her. “I’ll never forgive you, Deke. I’ll never forgive you, and I don’t want anything to do with you. I want to forget you ever tainted my life, and I want to go on to be with someone who…well, who’s not you.”
I had my hands wrapped around her upper arms and shook her in desperation. “No one else will ever have you, Delaney,” I snarled, and it didn’t matter that I was in the wrong. “You’re mine. You’re mine, and I’m sorry I didn’t take good care of you. I’m sorry I…couldn’t see past my jealousy and insecurities to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. But I am not letting you go, Lamb. Ever.” Tears started streaming down her face and they gave me hope. She had to feel something besides hate for me if she was crying, right?
Wrong.
“I don’t love you anymore, Deke,” she said, slicing me in half. “I don’t think I ever loved you or else I don’t think I would have been able to move on from you so quickly.”
She was lying.
She had to be lying.
I fucked up, and she was just punishing me by telling me these…lies.
“You don’t love me?”
Delaney shook her head. “No, Deke, I don’t.”
Chapter 36
Delaney~
I was lying.
I was very much in love with Deke still, but it wasn’t enough.
There was no way I’d be able to forget and forgive what he did to me.
I wasn’t as strong as Emerson.
I also knew I needed to get away from him, because every second he stood there was a threat to my pride and my sanity.
Deke damaged me with what he had done, and I didn’t feel as if I’d ever be able to trust him again. “Deke, I…I have to go. I need to finish packing and-”
His head reared back, shocked. “Packing?”
Shit.
I hadn’t meant to let him in on my plans, but what did it matter? Regardless of what he was professing, he couldn’t stop me from leaving, and I could always get a restraining order on him if I had to.
“It’s not your business, Deke,” I replied, needing to get away from him.
His hold on my arms tightened. “Everything about you is my business, Delaney,” he fumed. “Christ, Delaney. I’m so fucking sorry. Tell me what to do, and I will fucking do it!”
I wasn’t ready to sheath my claws yet. I cocked my head and asked, “Let me ask you something, Deke. What happens if I forgive you?”
His hands dropped from my arms and he slid them into the front pockets of his school uniform. He and Winston had obviously ditched school to harass me. “What do you mean?” he asked, slightly confused. “If you forgive me…well, we put this behind us and be together like we’re supposed to be.”
God, men really were clueless.
“So, what happens the first time you reach over to touch me, and all I see is your hand on Melissa’s thigh instead of mine?” Deke paled, but I didn’t relent. “What happens the first time you join me in bed, and I lock up because I don’t know what I’m doing? What happens when you get brave enough to finally try anal sex, and all I can think about is Winston while you’re inside me?”
“Stop it, Delaney,” he snapped.
“What happens the first time there’s a pregnancy scare, and I can’t tell you because your solution to the problem is to run down to the clinic?”
“I said, stop it,” he growled.
“Or how about the first time another guy tells me I’m beautiful, and I believe him because I will always feel inadequate around you?” The last thing in the world I’d ever want to be is a cheater, but even though the digs were designed to hurt Deke, that didn’t make them any less true. Deke’s attacked ag
ainst me had been personal, and his aim had been true.
Before I knew what he was about, Deke’s hands shot out, grabbed my face and he crushed his lips to mine. He kissed me like he had that day next to his car when he had given me the safety pin. He was kissing me with so much emotion, I felt powerless to resist.
I felt powerless to resist because I was pathetic, and I wanted this kiss to undo everything. I wanted the pain to go away so badly, that I opened up and let him in.
The next few minutes were nothing but crashing and burning with desperation and fear. Desperate to forget the past few days, and fear because we knew we wouldn’t be able to. It wasn’t until I heard a door shut behind me that the fog of lust lifted, and I noticed that Deke had walked us back into the house.
I broke off the kiss trying to get a grip on where this was going. “Deke-”
“No, Delaney,” he snapped. “You’re mine. You’re fucking mine and you can’t tell me to stop.”
As confused, hurt, angry, and lonely as I was, I still wasn’t without complete sense. “Deke, we can’t,” I breathed as he started sucking on my neck, marking me. “I’m on my period,” I reminded him.
His answer was to drag me to the nearest guest bathroom and plop me on the counter. Stepping in between my spread thighs, he growled, “Do you think I give a fuck if you’re bleeding or not?”
Evidently not.
But that wasn’t my biggest issue. I’d been letting Deke do whatever he wanted to do to me since the first night I slept with him. I always knew my period wasn’t anything that was ever going to deter him. “Deke, stop it!” I said more forcefully.
I knew Deke Marlow was dark. I knew he was ruthless. I knew he was relentless. And I knew he was…evil.
I knew it.
But I never knew just how dark he was or how evil his soul was until he grabbed me by my chin and said, “I’m taking you, Delaney, whether you want me to or not.” I gasped as his hold tightened on my face. I could literally feel the darkness swimming in his veins shimmer over me. “I own you. I own you like I have receipt for you in my back pocket.”
“Deke-”
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