I laughed, cocking a brow. “Lawyerly?”
His mouth spread in a cheery smile. “You know what I mean.”
My head bobbed in an absent kind of nod while I searched the dim, candlelit space for a change of topic. The wicks were burning down now and taking the light with them, but something about the night felt edgy and new. Like we were expecting more guests to arrive. “So, did you bring your hunky new man tonight? I was kinda hoping to meet him.”
“He’s… not quite ready to know what I am yet?”
“You haven’t told him?” I rocketed forward with disbelief.
Falcon steadied me by the shoulders, laughing softly. “I will. I just need more time.”
“But you’re so cool, Falcon. He’ll love you even more when you tell him you’re a knight.”
“We’ll see.” He turned away, but his eyes had that lovely sparkle of new love.
“I still get so spun out by it,” I said after a moment.
“By what?”
“The fact that you like guys.”
“I like girls too.”
“I know, but you also like guys. I mean, how does that work?” I put one hand up apologetically. “I’m so sorry if that makes me sound ignorant, but I’m just trying to understand.”
“You’re not ignorant, Ara. It’s just—” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. I wasn’t sure I’d seen him do that before. “It’s almost like I don’t notice gender differences, aside from, you know, the obvious physical aspects. But in truth, I fall for a person based on… I’m not sure.” He shrugged—another non-Falcon gesture. “Certain features and certain personality traits are what get me, I guess. Not gender.”
I considered that for a moment, thinking about Emily’s pretty face and soft touch—how, if I were gay, maybe I’d like that in a girl. Morgana, however, I wouldn’t touch with a bargepole. Bitch. “I think if I liked girls, I wouldn’t like them to act like a guy. You know—”
“Yeah.” He laughed softly, gently drawing his hands from his pockets. “I know girls like that. And I’m the same with guys. I don’t like the… queens.”
“Really?”
He frowned at my expression. “Just because I like guys, doesn’t mean I like fairies.”
I put both hands up in mock defense. “Okay. I get it. Sorry.”
He smiled softly at me. “Come on. Lord Eden finished his speech about a minute ago. Let’s go close this festival down so we can all go to bed.”
“Not so fast, soldier.” I stayed put as he walked ahead. “We have a council meeting after, remember?”
His bulky shoulders hunched as he came to an abrupt stop. He turned slowly around. “Like I said, let’s just get this night over with.”
“What is it you don’t want to tell me?” I asked, following him as he walked away.
“Nothing.”
“Oh, okay then,” I joked, stopping as the footmen drew the double doors back, revealing the hordes of people below the balcony. With a long breath, I quashed the effects of stage fright and redirected my focus to Falcon. “I’ll give you one last chance to confess.”
He turned his head just a fraction and looked down at me, all tall and knightly in his Core uniform.
I stared daggers up at him. “Whatever it is, I will find out.”
“I know.”
“Then just tell me now.”
As he opened his mouth to speak, Walt’s booming voice announced the arrival of the queen. I watched the courage leave Falcon’s eyes and the words fold in his mouth, reshaping into “After the last dance.”
“Is it David?” I asked, leaving the people hanging. “Is he okay?”
“He’s fine,” he whispered. “Just go make your speech.”
“The Damned?” I continued, ignoring the rising confusion below.
“They’re fine too. Speech.” He walked forward with his hand on my back and guided me toward my proverbial podium, then took one soldierly step back to the wall.
My sweaty, cold hands cupped the brass railing and I peered down into the faces looking up at me, searching the unfamiliar for the familiar. I found it in my dad’s eyes, where he leaned against the piano beside Quaid, his arms folded, slight curiosity glaring back at me.
Nervous, honey? he thought.
I laughed. I didn’t know you could project your thoughts this far!
There’s a lot you don’t know. Now, just focus, Ara, and get this speech over with. I need to tell you something.
What?
Speech first.
Argh. Fine. I focused on him, blotting out the judging crowd, and drew a breath. “Centuries ago, a young queen ruled the Three Worlds,” I began, projecting my voice so boldly across the room no one would know it was shaking. “A queen that was cruelly taken away in a war between two of the same kind. While one may have been Vampire and the other Lilithian, they were both immortal, both had hearts, and as such, should have been united.” I paused to let that sink in before continuing. “For centuries, our people have suffered the crimes of indifference; a suffering that this event today marked the end of. The Autumn Festival was once a celebration of fruitfulness—the harvest, the end of a season—but from this day forth it will remind us of the richness of a life lived in peace. Peace among the Three Worlds.”
A small round of applause rose up from the crowd, and I waited, smiling as I ran over the next part of the speech in my head: The Lie.
“Some of you may know that peace talks have begun with the old king; that there is an agreement being drawn up that will see the Three Worlds unite under one reign—with three rulers: one for the Lilithian kind, one for the Vampire kind, and a human representative between them.”
Shocked, anxious, and surprised faces exchanged looks of mingled concern and hope.
“It is my pleasure to announce that, within weeks from now, when the Freedom Bill has been signed by all leaders, the Three Worlds will come together as one kingdom in united peace.”
They were hesitant at first, looking to each other again before deciding finally that this would be a good thing, and one by one, they clapped their hands until the sound roared around the room, drowned out only by the cheering.
“So celebrate, my friends,” I continued, speaking a little louder. “And this marvelous evening shall continue until the final stroke of midnight brings us into a new day.”
From his perch against the piano, my dad stood tall, lowering his arms as he offered me a gentle bow. I rolled my head in return. Do you think they bought it?
He made a point of looking around, gesturing to the celebrations with both hands. I think it’s safe to assume they did.
Good. I smiled.
“Who are you talking to?” Falcon asked, grabbing my arm gently and drawing me back from the edge.
“My… Um. Lord Eden.”
His frown flattened. “Oh.”
“Why?”
“No reason.”
“You looked worried,” I noted.
“I was.”
“Why?”
“No reason.” He walked away.
“Falcon.” I darted after him. “Why did you look so concerned?”
“I just…” He started down the stairs. “I thought it might be David.”
“And what would be wrong with that?”
When we got to the bottom, he turned and took my hand, cupping it inside both of his. “Nothing. I have to go.”
“Where are you going?”
Hesitation knocked him off balance a little. “To set up the meeting.”
“What’s to set up?”
“Ara.” Dad appeared beside me, a gleaming grin transforming his whole face back to the man who was my father and not that cold impostor who last spoke to me in my room.
“Hang on, Dad. I just have to—” I started, but when I looked at Falcon, he was gone. “God damn it!”
“Language, Ara.”
“Sorry. It’s just…” I motioned to the missing knight. “I needed to talk to him.”
“Come,” Dad said, leading me away as though my problem was nothing. “I believe I owe you a dance.”
And I was given no choice but to follow him. Not that I minded. I’d find Falcon later and torture an explanation out if him. Well, torture him with crappy jokes until he gave in and confessed. I was just thinking about websites I could get bad jokes from when Dad told me to snap out of it.
“Sorry, Dad.” I moved into his arms and rested my cheek against his chest. “I’ve got a lot going on.”
“I know.” He kissed my head just beside my crown. “But you need to be more careful in speaking my name, Ara.”
My eyes widened and shot right up to his. “Oh crap! I’m so sorry.”
“It’s your brother you’ll need to apologize to—if someone were to start asking questions.”
A thick ball of saliva blocked my throat. He was right. My carelessness wouldn’t just hurt him. It could potentially hurt Sam. “That will be the last time I ever make that mistake, Lord Eden. You have my word.”
Lord Eden bowed his head and smiled, and we swept the floor to a faster pace, gliding and flying past the couples with a kind of elegance not even vampires as old as David and Arthur could master. I felt like a leaf tied to the end of a string, being drawn across the summer sky on the tail of a horse, and when I caught a glimpse of us in the reflection of the giant windows, I no longer saw the youthful face of Lord Eden. I no longer felt the presence of the hundreds around us. All I saw was my dad, and me in my wedding dress, as it should have been so long ago. But it wasn’t just a memory of what could have been in washes of black and white, it was full color and so real I blinked twice to wash it away
“Are you doing that?” I asked.
He took a long breath and let it out slowly. “There is no greater moment for a father than the first dance he has with his daughter at her wedding.”
I looked up at him and smiled as the crowd slowly and foggily reappeared in my periphery. “So you regretted it too then?”
He bowed his head and the next song began, taking us completely back to the present. “And I must give you away now,” he said. “To someone else who missed a dance at your wedding.”
Hopeful eyes moved away from Dad but landed square on the caramel gaze of my best friend.
“May I?” Mike asked, taking my hand.
“Of course.” Lord Eden bowed and backed gracefully away.
“Thank you… Lord Eden,” I called. “For the dance.”
He stopped by the edge of the dance floor, half hidden by the crowd, and said, “The pleasure was entirely mine.” And then he was gone.
Mike and I stood motionless for a moment, staring at the empty space he left behind.
“He’s so different,” I said.
“Blood changes people.” Mike took me gently in his arms. “This man we see now is the real version of him.”
“I guess,” I said solemnly. “It’s just hard to think of the other man as an act, you know? I miss him.”
Mike drew me a little closer and held me just a little tighter. “I know. But anyone can see he still loves you. His responsibilities just lie elsewhere now, that’s all.”
I thought back over my past for a few minutes, saying nothing when the song ended and another began, and we danced three songs, safe in each other’s arms, before I finally rolled my face upwards to meet his. “He was really cold to me upstairs before—when I told him I wanted to kill Morg.”
Mike laughed.
“Why are you laughing?”
“She’s his…” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “She’s his granddaughter. You’re his daughter’s soul. He loves you both equally, Ara. Think about what he’d say if you wanted to flay Sam.”
So I did think about that, even remembered back to when we were younger, and I told Dad I wanted to kick Sam for being such a jerk. “Yeah,” I said with a little cringe. “He never did like us fighting.”
“No. And the same applies to Morg. She’s a pain in the ass, and she hurt you—and she hurt David. But he doesn’t want her dead. Just look at what Drake did to the world,” he said suggestively. “Your d- Lord Eden is like that parent at playgroup—the one that never sees what his kids are doing to hurt others. He’s completely blinded by his love for you all. Why do you think you turned out to be such a spoiled little princess?”
I smiled, nodding. “He is kinda like that, isn’t he?”
Mike nodded too. “He’s not being cold to you, Ara. He’s just hurt by this feud between you and Morg. It can start wars you know?” His head motioned around the room, as if to mention the past and all the suffering in one gesture.
“Okay. I get it.” I curled back into his chest. “I’ll be a bit nicer about Morg from now on. After I smack her around a bit.”
Mike laughed, but a long, ringing sound took all the joy from the sound—the first stroke of midnight echoing as though there were no walls between the grandfather clock in the library and me. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms all the way around Mike’s neck, standing on my toes to hold onto him just that little bit tighter. The smell of him took me to a place in my mind where I once wore a dress that was blue, on a magical night of masks and autumn leaves, trying to hold on to the hope that, in eleven more tolls, David would come for me.
The second toll drew my thoughts to the lake—to that rainy day when David first found out I had feelings for Mike—the day I thought I’d lose him for good. I could still smell the crisp rain and the muddy ground, still feel the cold of the wind on my wet skin. Could still see how green David’s eyes looked against a gray sky—see them focused so intently on me, as if I was the only thing in the world that mattered.
“Ara, just admit it. Just tell me you’re not coming with me once and for all, like ripping off a plaster,” he’d said to me, anger and heartbreak battling for the expression on his face.
“No. Because that’s not what I’ve decided on.” I folded my arms. “My head wants one thing but my heart wants another.”
“Stop it.” He drew back a little further. “Ara, just say it. Just tell me you’re not coming with me.”
“No. Because that’s not what I’ve decided on.” I folded my arms.
David turned away from me again, extending his arm to grasp a tree branch. “You will eventually have to say it. Either way, a decision has to be made. Wholeheartedly or not.”
“Okay, then… ask me on the last day of our two weeks. That way I can be sure you’ll stick around.”
“That’s the night of the Masquerade?”
“Yeah. It’s perfect.” I carefully touched his elbow until he turned his face to me. “You can ask me on the last dance.”
“The last dance?” He dropped his hand from the branch, his brow staying up in an arch of mockery. “On the last stroke of midnight?”
I nodded, smiling. “Perfectly corny.”
The eleventh ring brought me back to the present, days by the hundreds rushing past me in a painful flash of all that had been lost. All that had been destroyed. All of it my fault.
And the hope I held onto back then, when I was just a girl at a masquerade, died as the twelfth toll ended and the last song began.
Mike stepped back and smiled down at me, his face changing when he noticed my tears. He swiped them away with his thumbs. “Ara.”
“I’m okay.” I dried the remainder. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“Sorry I’m late,” said a smooth, milky voice. I looked past Mike to a tall, dark-haired man in a plain black mask and the navy-blue Ceremonial Dress. His lip quirked in a cautious half-smile when I opened my mouth and nothing came out. “Can I steal you—for the last dance?” he asked, the smile completing itself.
My stunned eyes moved from his beautiful face, past the high collar and down his arm to his long, elegant fingertips as he offered his hand.
Mike laughed and moved away, making some crack about kidnapping, and left me there in the middle of the dance floor, compl
etely alone and lost for words.
David reached down and stole my hand, unclenching my fingers and folding them loosely against his. “It’s okay, Ara. I’m not here to hurt you.”
I snapped out of it then and finally inhaled. “I know.”
“Then relax,” he said softly, his deep voice vibrating through his throat. And as he drew me closer by the small of my back, my belly met his and he smiled down. “We don’t fit like we used to.”
“Do you mean that metaphorically?”
His secret smile indented his cheek, but that was all the answer he gave. I followed his lead then while the music played on, a series of soft, rising and falling notes, telling our story from beginning to end. We moved to our own pace, our own steps, letting the rest of the world move unheedingly around us. I could breathe here, in this moment, in his arms, as I’d not been able to breathe in so long. And as he rested his jaw against the top of my head, I could feel that same sense of relief in him. Which gave me hope.
He drew a long breath quietly through his nose and leaned back, looking into my eyes like he was seeing them for the first time. His pupils rounded and darkened, sweeping across my lashes and entering me like he saw a future there he’d never seen before. A future I could see too. I wished I could die right here in his arms; that Heaven would be the moment you lived last, repeated over and over for eternity. That was the only future that mattered to me anymore. I just needed it to matter to him, too.
The dim yellow glow around us offered more shadows than light, giving a kind of magical privacy to the scene, and the flow of skirts and graceful strides of long legs closed us in, keeping us alive here in this cage of secret thoughts—a cage we were, for once, both inside.
It wouldn’t matter what he said to me after this. He couldn’t deny it any longer…
“I still love you,” he said, stealing my thought.
I lowered my head and nodded against his lips, wrapping my small fingers around the bend of his hand a little tighter.
“When this ends”—he kissed my head—“don’t pull away. Just let me hold you; just let none of it matter anymore.”
“None of what matter?” I asked in a whisper.
“What I did to you,” he said, his breath of a voice moving into my ear, so quiet no one would have heard.
Echoes & Silence Part 1 Page 54