Hawk closed the door of his office and locked it. He motioned for Sampson to take a seat in the big leather chair across the desk from him. Hawk sat down in his executive chair and folded his hands over the table. He looked concerned.
"How are things really going with you, Sampson?" Hawk asked.
"In all honesty, not well," Sampson admitted.
"You haven't submitted an update report in five days. Do you have anything new to report?"
"Only that I'm close. But not close enough."
"If you need more time…"
"There isn’t more time, sir. We need to take this man down now before they know what’s coming. But I am having a bit of a personal problem that I'd hoped you could help me with."
"It wouldn't have anything to do with your nanny?"
"It does. My inner bear insists that she is my mate. I was matched with the girl on mate.com shortly before she came into my employment. There was absolutely no information and a random string of characters for a profile name, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she's my mate. However, she denies it. She says she has no idea what mate.com is. And that she doesn't feel anything for me."
Hawk leaned back, tapping his lip with his index finger. He then crossed his arms and shook his head.
"That is a quandary. Why don't you just look into it?"
"How do you mean?"
"Like you did for me and Elena. Just do some of your hacking magic. Contact Cory Bright from mate.com, find out if the person who is your mate on mate.com has the same name as your nanny. Do some digging into her background. Find out why she might be lying."
"I can't believe I didn't think of that," Sampson said, feeling like a complete idiot.
"Don't be ashamed of yourself. Finding your mate can be disorientating. Especially when it comes at such a challenging time. But if you investigate it now, you can get to the bottom of why she isn't being honest. If she really is your mate, and I have no reason to believe she's not, I'm sure she has a good reason for it.
“When I found Elena, I wouldn't believe that she was involved in her father's business, even though I should have been more cautious and more suspicious of her. I couldn't believe that she was a bad person … because she is my mate. And I'm sure the same goes for you and Megan."
"I did a preliminary reference check before I hired her. But I admit, I was a bit pressed for time. All her references checked out, but I didn't take it any further than that.”
"Sounds like you have your work cut out for you," Hawk said. “The mission is critical, Sampson. If I need to bring in more help from Washington…"
"No. I've got it under control. I'm so close, Hawk. If somebody else came in now, I wouldn't be able to account for the additional variables. I swear to you, I will bring this guy down, and we will get the intel we need to finally take down the entire hyena terrorist syndicate.”
Chapter 8
Megan poured herself a cup of coffee. When she took her first sip, she let out a sigh of contentment. The night before had been difficult. She had enjoyed her visit to Hawk and Elena’s — she liked them, and that was the hardest part. Lying to Sampson and now his friends did not sit well with her. It was becoming harder and harder to justify it.
She wanted to tell him so badly that her resolve was beginning to weaken. Sampson was a good man. And no matter how hardened she wanted to be, she was beginning to have feelings for him. Feelings that she wouldn't be able to disguise much longer. She sat down at the table and gave Jimmy his bananas while she sipped her coffee.
She was just about to get up to make waffles for breakfast when Sampson burst into the room looking ragged and frantic. His deep brown eyes were red, and his cropped brown hair was a mess. His mouth was a grimace. Megan blanched. She'd never seen Sampson like this. Maybe she’d been wrong about him; maybe he wasn't the man she thought him to be.
"We need to talk," he said, walking over to the coffee pot.
He poured himself a cup. Megan's heart slammed in her chest. Had he found out what she was capable of? But … how could he?
"I've been doing a little digging," Sampson said, turning back to her. He leaned against the counter and stared at her where she sat at the kitchen table.
"Oh?" she asked, feigning innocence. Maybe it wasn't what she thought it was. "What about?"
"You, Megan Moore."
"What about me?" she asked, her fear mingling with anger now. What gave him the right to dig into her life?
He crossed the room and sat down at the table across from her. He looked her straight in the eye, his expression emotionless. He sipped his coffee, never breaking his gaze.
"You see, I have a close personal relationship with the owner of mate.com.”
Megan gulped.
"And since I have a security concern with you taking care of my nephew and all, he allowed me access to the database.”
"But…"
Megan's mind was racing. Weren’t there laws against this sort of thing? She had a right to her privacy.
"It seems that the woman who was matched with me signed up for the website under the name Megan Moore. And the IP address of the person who filled out the questionnaire for profile 123fg#765 was from the Fate Rock Inn. The Fate Rock Inn’s booking system says a Megan Moore was staying in the hotel at exactly the same time that the questionnaire for mate.com was filled out. So you see, Megan, my very logical conclusion is that the Megan Moore that is my mate and the Megan Moore that is sitting in my kitchen are one and the same."
"Sampson, I…"
"You should know, Megan, that I can find almost anything. I may be a humble app developer right now, but I have a background in military cybersecurity."
Megan's mouth dropped; she was cornered, and she didn't know what to say or do. She began to sweat, and her heart slammed in her chest. It was pulsing in her ears and she couldn't think or hear. Black narrowed in on the sides of her vision and she gulped. She squeezed her eyes closed and held her breath. He knew. He knew everything that he could possibly find out on the Internet. She finally opened her eyes. She couldn't keep lying to him. It would be stupid. There could be no other explanation than the truth.
"I know your sister killed herself," he said in a low rumbling voice. "Is that why you're here? Are you running away from your past?"
"Sampson, I'm sorry."
"Help me understand, Megan. My inner bear has been driving me crazy. I knew you were my mate. There was no question. Why would you lie to me?"
"I'm grieving. You understand how confusing it is to lose someone you love. I was the one I found her. She shot herself. Every night when I go to sleep, the last thing I see is an image of her dead body."
Megan began to cry. It wasn’t an act to gain sympathy. Yes, she'd been caught, exposed, but more than her grief over blowing her cover story was the well of grief inside her, and the fact that she'd had to lie to this man. A man that by all accounts should be able to love her more than anyone else in the world ever had.
She had lost her best friend and her twin sister, but now she had been given the chance to start over with her fated mate. Sampson could connect with her down to the core if the shifter websites were right. Elena certainly seemed happy with Hawk. Megan wondered if she could ever have something so sweet and pure with Sampson. She was broken. She'd never be the same again. She didn't deserve it. Especially after lying to him.
"I don't know what to say."
"Why didn't you trust me, Megan?"
"It's not that I didn't trust you. I don't trust myself. I haven't been the same since Amber died. I don't know if I can ever love again."
"But you think you're capable of taking care of my nephew?"
Megan could tell that he was angry. And he had a legitimate concern.
"Haven't I done a good job?"
Sampson let out a long sigh. "So far, I don't have any complaints. But it sounds to me like you need help. You’re suffering from post-traumatic stress, and that is something that could be a danger to
Jimmy.”
"Are you going to fire me?"
She would understand completely if he did; she deserved it. She was a liar. She was damaged goods. She didn't deserve him or this job.
"I'm not going to fire you. I just need you to be honest with me. I have feelings for you. Feelings I've never experienced before. It's confusing and unsettling, and I haven't been able to focus on my job since you've arrived, but I think that you are good with Jimmy. You've taken very good care of him as far as I can tell, and I do need your help. But I want you to talk to someone. You need to heal. It's the only way that you’re going to be able to get past what happened to your sister.”
"You're right," she said.
"I will find someone who can help you. It is my condition for you remaining in my employment."
"What about…" she started. The word "us" hung silently on her lips.
She couldn't bring herself to say it. She couldn't bring herself to hope that even after all the lies he could still want her.
"I don't know what to do about anything else, Megan. Now that the truth is out in the open, at least we can be adult about the situation. I'm not going to ask anything of you or expect anything of you romantically. I'm not that kind of man. I have important work that I need to do, and I don't want to disrupt Jimmy's routine. So, I don't think it is the right thing for any of us for you to leave. But it also isn't right for me to expect you to want to date me or anything of the like. It is completely up to you, Megan, and I will wait for you to decide what it is you want. I would assume that since you did sign up for a dating website that you have some interest in finding someone. And I hope that once you begin to heal and sort everything out, that you will consider me."
"I do feel something, Sampson," she said in a small voice. “I don't really know how to explain it. And I don't really know if it's even real. I've been so confused since my sister died, I don't exactly understand my own feelings anymore. Maybe it's just because you've been so kind to me, and that I'm getting really attached to Jimmy, but I do want to get to know you better. The real you. Not just the busy new dad who needs a nanny. I think there's a man under there that needs love as much as anyone else.”
Sampson took a breath and huffed out a long sigh. He raised an eyebrow and stood from the table, going to refill his coffee cup. He had his back to her for a long moment, and she watched the strength of his body, so different from how she’d expect a computer programmer to look. He was handsome and engaging and sweet. His reaction to finding her out had been both measured and kind. And she needed someone like that, especially in her current state.
He finally turned back to her, searching her eyes as if trying to find the meaning of life in their pools.
“I want to get to know you better too, Megan," he said. “You are a kind and nurturing woman. Despite your subterfuge, I can see something special in you. A kind of fierce loyalty that I admire. And a tenderness that few in this world are willing to show. But I don't think that either of us are ready to move past what we've discovered about each other this morning. Take your time. You need to heal. And then we will be able to make a better choice about us.”
"Thank you, Sampson. Thank you for being so understanding."
He took his coffee cup, and with a single nod continued out of the kitchen and disappeared up the stairs. Megan let out a long sigh, cupped her face in her hands and began to cry.
She didn't know what she was crying about, but the overwhelming flood of emotion gripped her heart and soul. She realized she wasn’t crying over her own despair, she was crying because of his kindness. The best thing she'd ever been offered was coming at the very worst moment of her life.
She wished she could tell Sampson about her plot for revenge. The man who had raped her sister and gotten away with it. He’d told her he was going to find her a therapist — maybe she could tell her. Then maybe Megan would be able to sort out what to do. She knew that if she went through with her revenge, her chance at ever having a happy life would be over. But the part of her that kept seeing those horrific visions just couldn't let it go.
While she played in the basement with Jimmy later that afternoon, Sampson walked down the stairs and offered her a slip of paper.
"I've got you an appointment tomorrow with the best psychiatrist in town. She specializes in post-traumatic stress. I can watch Jimmy.”
He had already offered her so much. Maybe this doctor would be the answer. Maybe she could help Megan finally get past what had happened and let go of her revenge. She prayed that it would be so.
"I've made us lunch," Sampson said.
"Thank you," she said. “You didn't have to. It’s my job.”
"I wanted to. I needed a break from my work. Sometimes I need to step back and think. And now that I am not gripped in cognitive dissonance, it is much easier for me to concentrate.”
Megan knew that the cognitive dissonance was her fault. She’d lied to him. She felt guilt spike between her shoulders as she carried Jimmy upstairs to the dining room, where they shared a lunch of ham sandwiches, potato chips, and pickle wedges.
Jimmy just ate little bits of bacon, lettuce, and bread, and even tried a bit of pickle that made his little mouth tighten up in shock. He spit the whole thing out. Megan and Sampson both laughed at the display. Megan quickly wiped his mouth on his bib.
"You didn't like that, did you?" Megan said.
She looked over at Sampson and smiled. He was gazing at the little boy with love and pride in his eyes. And as she gazed at him, she hoped that someday, he would look at her that way too.
Chapter 9
Even after Megan's appointment with the psychiatrist, Sampson felt as if there was something going on with her that he couldn't quite place. He had forgiven her for lying, but her story just didn't add up. He needed help. He was getting so close to completing his mission that he couldn't take a break from his work.
Sampson invited Zander over for lunch to meet Megan and Jimmy. Zander was far better with people than Sampson — he was better at understanding people than almost anyone. If anybody could see what was behind Megan's façade, it was him. When Zander arrived that afternoon, Megan was making lunch in the kitchen. Macaroni and cheese and sausages with sliced tomatoes and iceberg lettuce salad.
Sampson went to open the door when the bell rang, and he found Zander standing on the other side with a gift bag in his hand.
"I brought gifts," he said, stepping into the house. The gift bag had a little stork with the blue bundle in its beak. "Since you didn't have a baby shower."
"That was very thoughtful of you," Sampson said, leading him into the kitchen.
Megan had the table set and was putting bowls of food at the center when he and Zander walked in.
"Megan," he said. “This is my friend Zander."
"It's good to meet you, Megan." He stepped forward to shake her hand. “I can only imagine what a challenge it was for Sampson to find out he had a baby to take care of. It's good that you were here to help him."
"Jimmy is a wonderful child," she said with a smile, patting the little boy on the head. Sampson squatted down and looked Jimmy in the eye.
"He is an intelligent-looking tyke, isn't he?" Zander asked, looking back up at Sampson.
"Maybe he'll take after his uncle," Sampson said.
His thoughts went to his sister. They used to play chess together as kids. Truth be told, she often beat him. It was a shock to him as much as everyone else when she had run off with the human. It was so unlike her to be so irrational. But she’d said she was in love.
Running off with someone who wasn't your fated mate was so unheard of in the shifter community that no one could understand it, and no one would support it. That had driven a wedge between her and the family. Sampson wished he had tried harder to at least show her that he still cared for her and that he was still her brother even if he didn't agree with her choices.
Little Jimmy was a full-blooded shifter, despite the fact that his mother had mat
ed with a man who was a human and not her fated mate. The boy needed to understand who he was. And Sampson hoped he was up to the task.
Everyone sat down at the table and passed around the lunch. Megan was wonderful in the kitchen, and had made a homemade cheese sauce for the macaroni and gourmet sausages. It was all very tasty for such a simple recipe.
Zander asked Megan questions about her education and her family upbringing. She seemed reluctant to answer, getting choked up about her sister.
"You and Sampson have both recently lost someone that you loved. It is a very tragic and unfortunate thing, but it means that you can understand each other better than almost anyone else."
"Yes," she said in a whisper.
"That's true," Sampson said. "I don't think either of us have fully dealt with the loss."
"Maybe you should help each other," Zander said.
"Sampson is already helping me quite a bit. More than I can possibly repay."
"You don't have to repay me for anything. You are my mate. I want to help you. Even if things don't work out between us.”
"Why wouldn't it work out between you?" Zander asked, sipping his iced tea.
It was very rare for mates to not end up together, although it did occasionally happen.
"We’re both grieving," Megan said, saving Sampson from having to answer.
He appreciated her doing that. It saved him from having to explain why he hadn't been successful in getting closer to his own mate. She had tried everything in her power to convince him that she wasn't his. And that fact still stung.
"The lunch was delicious, Megan. Thank you. Now I want Sampson to open my present." He handed the gift bag to Sampson.
Brainy Bear (Justice Squad Book 5) Page 5