by S. Jones
I looked away, trying to smother my frustration. I had to remind myself he was younger than me and a professional hockey player in his prime. Women ate that shit up, even when the star athletes were dog-butt ugly, which Caden was not.
He deserved his time in the spotlight because it wouldn’t last forever. The knees would start to ache, the headlines would begin to fade and nights like this would become a distant memory. I kind of felt sorry for his stupid ass, but at the same time, I was glad he was enjoying the thrill of it all.
Rolling my neck from side to side, I sat back in my chair and crossed my legs. “Watch it, Caden,” I warned playfully. “I know how much money went into fixing that mouth of yours. You’re about two seconds away from losing a couple more teeth if you don’t keep your trap shut. I would hate for you not to be able to use it tonight.” I looked at puck bunnies one and two stacked on his lap and smiled.
Caden let out a loud laugh. “Good thing I don’t need to use my mouth to get the job done.” He winked and slightly adjusted his knees to better support his two new fans.
“You know,” the blonde spoke up, “if you don’t mind sharing, there is enough love for both of you.” She glanced between Caden and me, with her partner’s head nodding in approval.
I shook my head with a laugh. “I appreciate the offer. But I’m good.”
“You sure, hon?” She looked me over with a gleam in her eye. “I know we can make it worth your while.”
“Sweetheart, whatever you’re selling, I’m not buying. No offense, but I’m really not interested.”
She looked at me as if I’d sprouted a second head. “Well, that’s a first. You must be gay. My bad.”
Caden almost fell off the chair from laughing so hard. The girls had no choice but to jump off or risk landing on their asses. I sat up in my seat and squared my shoulders. This girl was pissing me off. I took a sip of my drink and connected my gaze to hers.
“I can assure you that I’m not gay. I guess I just prefer to ‘buy’ my merchandise new and not used.” I gave her a once-over and noticed the scowl form on her face. It looked tight like she’d just had a Botox injection. I was surprised her facial muscles even moved.
“Fuck you, asshole.” She spat out, tossing her drink in my direction and stormed off. Her friend quickly ran after her.
Caden was still laughing as they both sulked away. They only made it a couple booths down before they found another couple of well-dressed guys at least ten years older than us. Clearly these two chicks had gotten over their heartbreak and were off looking for their next round of free drinks. “Sorry, brother; I didn’t mean to fuck up your night and chase off your bunnies.”
He reached behind me to grab a drink off the tray that the waitress just set down. Holding his glass in the air, he toasted, “The night is still young.” I raised my glass and took a slow slip.
“So,” he leaned back, crossing his leg over his ankle. “Is the MILF from the Carolinas the reason for your sour mood tonight?’
“She’s fucking younger than me, you dumbass. Just because she has a kid doesn’t mean she’s a MILF.”
“I see you’re not denying it.” He took a sip of his Grey Goose and leaned back into his seat. “I don’t blame you dude; she’s hot.”
My hand smacked the table so loud you could hear the slap above the music blaring across the dance floor. “You watch your mouth, little cousin.”
He set his drink down on the napkin and held his hands up in surrender. “Calm down, caveman.” He shook his head, sensing my building anger. “I just find it ironic that the woman to finally catch your eye doesn’t even live in the same zip code as you. All I’m saying is that she must be something special.”
She was special, and he had a point. Of all the eligible females on the island of Manhattan, I had to go and attach myself to a single mom who lived in a different state. Whoever would have thought?
“Sometimes, you don’t get to choose. It just happens. But when you meet the right girl, it makes it all worthwhile.”
He scrunched up his eyebrows. I could feel his brain trying to absorb my words and make sense of them. “You mean, like picking out a pet? People say they choose you and not the other way around.”
My eyes blinked. I remembered when he was six months old and fell off the kitchen counter and had to go to the emergency room because he cut his head open. That’s the only explanation I could come up with. The kid got dropped on his head way too many times as a child.
“Not sure if I want to compare her to a dog, but let me just say this. She’s the only one to catch my attention, and that says a lot.”
He hooked his arm around the back of his seat. “So how does this whole relationship work? I mean, you guys can only see other once or twice a month, right?”
That’s the part I hated. Sometimes talking to her on the phone made it worse. And, don’t even get me started on our Skype sessions. My dick got hard as soon as her beautiful face popped up on the screen and there was little she could do to help me out. If anything, this long-distance shit made me crave her even more. It was like a drug; one hit and you’re ready to sell your soul for just one more taste.
A loud cheer exploded from the table of Caden’s teammates as their rival team lost a semi-playoff game in a shootout, disrupting my thoughts. “The long-distance sucks, but it’s still new. So, who knows how this will all turn out?”
I hated the thought of things not working out. The fact that I was sitting here uninterested with women practically throwing their tits in my face should’ve told me something.
“Cayjay, are you going to get your ugly ass over here or what?” My cousin’s teammates called out to him from the other table as they lined up the shot glasses filled with tequila.
“You go ahead, I’m going to call it a night. I’ve got an early morning ahead of me.”
He looked unsure at first, but then his gaze landed on the redhead who had been eye fucking him from across the room all night long. Standing, he smirked. “All right, don’t wait up.” And then he was off.
Once back at my apartment, I settled into my bed and held the phone to my chest. Looking at the time, I debated whether or not I should call her. It was after midnight, and she was probably sound asleep. I turned on my side and rested my head on the pillow. There was no way I was going to relax until I heard her voice—even if it was only for a minute. I picked up my phone, scrolled through my contacts, and hit send. Chloe picked up on the second ring. “Jack?”
I smiled at the sound of her sleepy voice. “Hey, sorry to wake you. I just wanted to hear your voice.”
I could hear her rustling around in bed, and I really wished she were here beside me. This place was too quiet, too empty. I wanted nothing more than to see her, to touch her, to just be next to her. God, what the hell was she doing to me? Never has a woman consumed my thoughts like this.
“I’m glad you called. What time is it?”
I leaned back and rested my head against the headboard. “A little after midnight.”
“How was the game?”
“They won, then we went out for a few drinks after. I actually just got home.”
“It’s an early night for you New Yorkers, isn’t it?”
I laughed into the phone. “It is for this New Yorker. I left Caden at the bar. I must be getting old.”
I could almost see her smile. “That’s okay. I like my men a little seasoned with more experience. Being a young jock is so overrated.”
I fluffed my pillow behind my head. I was missing this girl something fierce. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to make it until next weekend. “I think you’ve ruined me.”
“How so?” she asked gently, almost like she finally understood the effect she had on me.
“I don’t enjoy going out like I used to. The thrill is gone for me.”
It was true. I had no idea what I was doing half the time. Lately, though, the things that I used to enjoy no longer interested me. The only place I want
ed to be was with her. I’ve only known her for such a short time, but she seemed to be the only thing in my life that felt right.
“I’m sorry you didn’t have fun tonight. Was it just you and Caden or did you guys have company like the last time I saw the two of you out?”
She was referring to that night I went out with my cousin and got forced into a double date. Seeing her that night fucked with my head because the whole time I was at the table with my date, I wanted to be at the bar with her. Later, when I wheeled the girl home to my bed, it was Chloe’s face I saw. Even then, I knew I had to have her, and now that I did, I knew enough to appreciate what I had. When you’ve already got the real thing, it didn’t make sense to settle for a cheap imitation.
“It was just us and a few of his teammates. And, don’t worry, I made sure to let all the women know that I wasn’t available.”
“All the women, huh?”
I smiled. She was toying with me, but I could tell she liked my answer. “Yup, hundreds. That’s why I’m home early. It was exhausting having to beat them off me with a stick all night.”
She was quiet, and my smile faltered, wondering if I said the wrong thing. “Hey, you still there?”
“I’m here.” I pinched my eyebrows together. She didn’t sound too happy. “I just wish you were here with me.”
“Me too, baby. If I could be there with you right now, I would. There is no other place on this planet I’d rather be.” I’ve never been so miserable and so damned happy at the same time. This long-distance shit was killing me. Every day that passed where I didn’t see her just got harder and harder.
“I want you to meet Tanner,” she said, completely catching me off guard.
It took a moment for those words to sink in.
Were we really ready for this?
This was a huge step for both of us. Things were definitely moving fast, and I knew that I would have to meet her kid eventually. I sagged against my headboard and closed my eyes. I could feel my heart racing. I was scared and nervous. I wanted to laugh because I was stressing out over a seven-year-old kid.
I swept a hand through my blond hair and tried not to panic. “Are you sure?”
“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t.”
Right. Because I had to trust that Chloe knew what she was doing.
“Okay then,” I said, swallowing while trying to find my voice. “I can’t wait to meet him.”
Chapter 13
Chloe
“Have you thought about our conversation since we last spoke?” Carly asked, leaning back and adjusting her big black sunglasses over her eyes.
I looked out to my son who was in all his glory as he rode wave after wave. I glanced away, trying to shield the sun from my eyes. “I have; a lot, actually.” Our conversation had been playing on repeat in my head. “I’m still not sure what I want to do.”
It felt like I was being tested as a parent and as a person. I closed my eyes for a moment, listening to the waves as they inched closer and closer. Tanner’s carefree giggles made me pop my eyes open. He was running toward me holding a seashell in his hands, calling out, “Mom, Mom, look…”
As he got closer, it really struck me how much he resembled his father. It almost made my heart hurt. “Thank you, Tanner,” I said, taking the shell from his hands. We always brought a jar to the beach with us. He loved to collect whatever he could find—from shells to rocks to seaweed. If it was washed up from the ocean and caught his eye, it went home with us.
“I’m going to see if I can catch some big waves.” He pointed back out to the water.
“Don’t go out too far,” I reminded him.
He rolled his eyes and picked up his boogie board. “Mom, I know. I’m not a baby anymore.”
Carly snorted next to me. “I don’t know how he can stand that freezing water,” she said, dipping her feet in the sand. The sun was shining, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.
“Little kids are temperature-insensitive when it comes to swimming in the cold water.” I smiled, watching Tanner get knocked over by a wave. He stood up, shook out his hair and laughed.
Carly dipped her toes in the sand. “I don’t want to keep rehashing this conversation, but you’re going to need to make a decision about Brogan eventually. You can’t keep putting it off. He called me the other day and asked if I’d talked to yet?”
I placed my hands behind my neck and leaned back, staring up into the sky. Normally, the ocean brought me peace and calm, but my emotions today were anything but comforting and relaxing.
“I don’t know if I can do it, Carly. There are too many reasons not to tell him, and I’m not sure it’s worth the risk.” I could see the disappointment in her eyes as I continued. “You have to see things from my point of view. As much as you don’t want to admit it, there is a chance that Brogan could make things very difficult for me. I know that sounds selfish, but Tanner is my entire world. Everything I’ve done up until this point has been to protect him.” She started to sit up and speak, but I stopped her. “Can you imagine what kind of world I would be throwing him into? Can you imagine the kind of change and adjustments we would have to make?” I turned my head to see him jumping through the water. “Look at him, Carly, he’s so happy right now. He can live a normal life. That would all change, and I’m not sure it would be for the better.”
Carly pulled her glasses off her face and pushed them over the top of her head. “Chloe, celebrities have kids all the time. Just because Brogan’s famous, that doesn’t mean that Tanner’s going to end up with his own reality show or share a rehab facility with Demi Lovato. He’s a great kid. You’ve done a wonderful job raising him. I don’t think Brogan’s lifestyle is as much of a threat as you do. Growing up without a dad could end up being a much bigger problem for him than you realize.”
“You don’t know that” I snapped back.
“Neither one of us know what would happen. But you know Brogan and the type of person he is. Do you honestly think he wouldn’t love that boy and protect him with his life?”
What was her problem? She was supposed to be my best friend. Since when did she go all team Brogan on me? “Why are you pushing this so hard, Carly?”
“Because I care about you and Tanner.” She pressed on. “You two are my family, and I want what’s best for both of you. I get why you never told him, but I’m telling you now, he’s not that guy anymore. He’s sober, more mature, and by all accounts, he seems to have his act together. Also, we both know that no matter how hard you try, this secret will most likely get out, and if you’re not in control of how it’s shared, it could cause more damage than you realize.”
“You got all this from one conversation with him?”
I was the one who’d been in a relationship with him. She didn’t know him like I did. And truthfully, neither one of us knew who he was today. That’s the part that had me stuck. I had no idea how much or in what ways he’s changed, but I would be a fool to think that he hasn’t over time.
“There will come a day where Tanner will want to know more about his father. You need to think about that day and how you’re going to handle it.”
Her words hit too close to home for me. A big part of me knew she was right, but it didn’t take long to convince myself that I only did what I had to do. Just a stroll through the grocery store aisle and reading the tabloid headlines would easily support that joining Brogan Hayes’s life would be a circus.
He may have turned his life around, and if he has, I wished him all the best, but I wasn’t ready to gamble with my son’s life and the stability I’ve build for us.
I rose from the ground and dusted the sand off my shorts. “I appreciate the concern, but I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“I’m just giving my opinion. I’m on your side always.” She stood and slipped her flip-flops on. “I also emailed you his contact information in case you change your mind.”
My irritation with her was growing more intense tha
n it should have. Carly and I have never fought. We were always a team. Even though I believed her words to be true, I couldn’t help but feel a slight shift in our friendship. “I’ve gotta run a few errands and get the house ready for Jack tonight.” I bent over and started to pack up our stuff to bring to the car.
“Right,” she said, not bothering to look in my direction. “Let me know how everything goes with Jack and Tanner.”
I felt like shit. None of this was her fault, but this conversation had me wanting to pull my hair out.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Sounds good,” she said, forcing a smile as I called Tanner over.
After drying him off and brushing the sand out of his hair the best that I could, we said our goodbyes and made our way to the car. As I pulled out of the gravel parking lot, I couldn’t help but hope things would return back to normal between Carly and me sooner rather than later.
“Tanner, please shut the Xbox off and put your clothes away.”
My son glared at me from across the room as his fingers paused on the latest MLB game. I let him play when we got back from the beach because I needed a clean house and the video game was the only thing that kept him busy and out of my hair.
“Five more minutes, Mom, please,” he pleaded.
I crossed my arms and looked at the clock. Jack would be here soon. Experience taught me that “five minutes” really meant a half hour.
“Now,” I said firmly.
He closed his eyes, seemingly unhappy, but thankfully he stood and walked into his room to unload his laundry basket.
I had just finished getting ready when I heard a knock at my door.
“Mom, your friend is here,” I heard Tanner yell from the other room.
Tanner, being the impatient seven-year-old that he was, ran to the door with the dog following his every step. The moment I saw Jack, I paused.
He was wearing dark jeans and a blue button-down that matched his eyes. His hair looked like he had been running his fingers through it all day.