Her eyes fell on her shawl hanging by the door. She needed to talk to someone to help her make this decision. It wasn’t something she could just decide on her own.
She stood and wrapped her shawl around her shoulders and stepped out into the crisp morning air.
She hurried down the streets of the town, making quick turns, weaving in and out, heading for a house she knew well.
Mrs. Miller lived down this street. Lana was fairly certain that many people went to Mrs. Miller for advice. She was older than most peoples’ grandmothers and always seemed to know what to do.
When Lana reached the little house, she knocked timidly. She had never come this early before. While Mrs. Miller had never turned her down before, Lana had to wonder if this was too early.
A moment later, the door creaked open and Mrs. Miller was standing there with a wide smile on her face. Wrinkles pulled on the edges of her sparkling eyes and wisps of white hair curled around her weathered face.
“Lana! It’s so good to see you this morning. Why don’t you come in?” Mrs. Miller motioned for her to enter and Lana obliged. The house that Mrs. Miller lived in was a little larger than where Lana lived.
Lana knew that she had shared it with her husband and two children. Both her children had moved to other parts of town and her husband had passed away nearly six years ago.
Lana sat down on one of the parlor chairs and waited nervously as Mrs. Miller could be heard bustling around the kitchen preparing some tea.
After several moments, she came back into the parlor with two cups of steaming hot tea. “There we are, now we can have a proper chat. Tell me, dear, what’s going on?”
Lana took the tea and began to sip it, then she let everything that had happened tumble from her lips.
Mrs. Miller had been there to hear about her woes after her falling out with Henry. She had been one of the people that had helped Lana keep going, despite everything happening around her.
Lana took another sip of the warm tea and felt it slide down her throat, leaving a warm trail behind.
“So you’re wondering if you should leave or not.” Mrs. Miller’s eyes held a glint of something that looked almost mischievous.
“I don’t know what to do. If my friend needs me… Part of me wants to go, but do you think it’s a wise thing to do? Should I leave everything behind? I don’t know anything about country living. I’ve lived in the city all my life. I don’t know how to be a ranch woman at all.” As she said it out loud, Lana realized how afraid she really was.
Maybe she was afraid of the memories she had made in this city being left behind along with her life here.
“I know that you’ve had a hard time here, since everything that happened with Henry. Maybe you should see this as an opportunity that God is giving you to start over.”
“So you think I should go?” Lana leaned forward. She wanted someone to tell her what to do. It was something she missed about her mother. She missed having someone to organize everything in life, leaving her to just do it.
“I can’t tell you what to do, dear. I know that you would like me to lay out everything and make it easy for you, but we all have to make our own decisions in life.”
“I know, it’s just… it’s so hard for me to decide. What if I make the wrong decision?”
Mrs. Miller shook her head. I don’t think there is necessarily a wrong decision. Either way, you have to make a life for yourself. My question for you is, will you look back on this moment and wish you had gone? Or wish you had stayed?”
Lana thought about the question for a moment. She tried to imagine what she would think in five years. It wasn’t as easy as she’d thought. A lot could happen in five years.
But in the end, she knew the answer. She would regret not helping her friend. She would regret knowing that her friend had needed her and she had been able to help but had done nothing.
“I would regret not going,” Lana said softly at last.
Mrs. Miller nodded. “Then I think you’ve found your answer. Though I know many people in town will miss you, I believe that God has big plans for your life. Sometimes we have to go where we are led in order to find our true home. And if you put your mind to it you can learn all the things you don’t know how to do. You may surprise yourself.”
Lana smiled and nodded. Sometimes Mrs. Miller spoke in riddles that were hard for her to understand, but somehow, deep down, she felt as if they made sense.
She and Mrs. Miller continued talking late into the morning as they sipped tea. Lana let herself relax and let the pressures of choosing her next step and dealing with life slip away as she talked with the older woman about every topic that they could think of.
---*---
The train let out a shriek as it pulled out of the station. Lana leaned back in her seat, setting her satchel down beside her ankles.
She was finally leaving town. She had been waiting for this day since she had decided she would be going during her conversation with Mrs. Miller.
She had spent the last two weeks preparing and getting everything ready for her departure. She had finished out the last couple of weeks of classes, said goodbye to her students and sold most of her belongings. Her little house was bare except for the bed that she was leaving there for the landlord to pass on to the man who had bought it.
She has felt a bit sad as she told the landlord that she would no longer be a tenant in the little townhouse she had lived in for so long. He had said that he was sad to see her go and thanked her for being such a good tenant.
Lana stared out at the empty train platform. There were still a few lingering people standing around to see their loved ones off, but almost everyone had already left.
For a moment, a chord of sadness played in Lana’s heart. There had been no one to see her off this morning.
She knew that there were a few select people in town who would miss her, but she had insisted that she didn’t need anyone at the platform waiting for the train to leave. She now regretted that decision. It would have been nice to see them one more time as she left town.
For a moment, her mind thought of a time when Henry might have been out there, waving at her, wishing her a good trip. Since the time she had told him in no uncertain terms that there were no second chances, he had stayed away.
Lana had still found him watching her from afar when he thought she wasn’t looking, or heard that he had been asking about her at places she frequented. But overall he hadn’t been demanding conversations with her anymore.
It didn’t make it easier though. He worked at the general store next door to the school so Lana had inevitably seen him every single day when she had gone to teach and it always made her feel a bit bitter when she thought about him.
She wanted herself not to care. She had told herself not to look. But being betrayed like that would be hard for anyone to get over and Lana was no exception.
Lana’s body lurched as the train gathered a bit of speed. She watched as the people and then the town became smaller in the distance and eventually resembled specks on the horizon.
There was no turning back now. All of her earthly possessions were in her satchel at her feet and the trunk under the train, and she was speeding away to a strange place in the Wild West to seek out a new life and help her friend.
Nervousness tugged at her. She didn’t exactly know Ginger that well in person as an adult. She could only hope that the relationship that they had built through their childhood and letters to each other would keep their friendship strong.
She smiled as the trees as brush rushed by her window. There was something very exciting about this trip. Despite the soft ache in her heart at leaving everything she knew behind, she felt happy and curious about the journey ahead.
Maybe, just maybe, she would have adventures in the west that she had only dreamed of. She had certainly heard enough stories in town.
How bad could it be? Every town or city started somewhere. Besides, Ginger had told her that t
here were shops and other things in the town near them. Maybe the west wouldn’t be that different from living in the city after all.
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An Endless Love to Remember: A Historical Western Romance Book Page 33