by Wood, Lauren
Ezra
After the long days that I tended to have at work, it was always nice for me to be able to come home to a hot, fresh meal. It was one of the things that I enjoyed most about having a nanny. When it came to cooking, I wasn’t the greatest, something I gathered from all of Paige’s complaining. Considering the exclusive salary that I paid, I figured that it wasn’t too much to ask the nanny to cook as well, especially considering that they didn’t even have to pay for their room and board.
Everything was free to them. I liked to call it a little gift from me to them.
Coming home was already one of the better parts of my day, even the best part on some days. Usually, I returned to my nanny cooking dinner and Paige, somewhere in the house, running around, watching television or doing homework.
But coming home to Quinn was an entirely different type of euphoria. There was something about her that just set my blood on fire and left everything inside of me aching for her. It was almost a punishment, really, desiring something so much that I knew I couldn’t have.
It was the same thing as putting beer in front of a recovering alcoholic. It just shouldn’t be done.
But what reason did I have to fire her? Quinn was perfect at her job. My daughter happened to love her, and when it came to cooking and cleaning, she was spectacular. So, instead of finding ways to fire her, I made myself scarce. I couldn’t tempt myself with her if I wasn’t around to see her.
In reality, I should have known better than to hire someone I found this attractive. Her best friend, my last nanny, Kayley, had been different. Yes, she had looks that most men would stop to take a second glance at. But her personality was what set me off from her. She was so into herself, so self-indulgent.
She took care of Paige, and that was the most important thing to me. I would never be with someone who was so selfish. Quinn wasn’t like that in the slightest. I should have realized that in the beginning, and I should have stayed very, very far away.
My eyes looked over her, taking in what she considered appropriate clothing. I was a gentleman, but I couldn’t stop them from straying to the white skirt that rose so high, I was sure if she bent down, I’d see everything. And her shirt, a low-riding crop top. I saw much of what women in her generation called acceptable clothing. They clearly thought the more skin, the better.
And, unfortunately, it was the way to catch a man’s eye. But it wasn’t always a good thing, especially not where I was concerned.
“Hi, Mr. Ledger,” Quinn greeted me in that sweet voice of hers. I realized that her cheeks were tinted pink, as if I’d caught her doing something she wasn’t supposed to be doing, and, in a very miniscule way, I had.
I was strict when it came to my rules only because I wanted what was best for my daughter. I was a bit of a health freak myself. I thrived on working out and eating well, and I wanted the same for my daughter. She was going to start gymnastics in the fall, and I thought she would enjoy it immensely.
A big rule of mine was for Paige not to have snacks before dinner. If she had snacks, she went on a bit of a sugar rush and would stay up longer than she needed to. She wouldn’t eat dinner and then would wake up halfway through the night, whining and complaining about her hunger.
It seemed like Quinn was about to forsake that rule.
“Quinn,” I said her name in return. “What did I tell you about…?”
She cut me off before I could finish. “I know, I know, I’m not supposed to give her anything before dinner.”
“If you would have let me finish…” My voice was hardly louder than a snap. “You would know that’s not what I was going to say.” I hated being interrupted. Call it a pet peeve of mine.
“I’m sorry,” she apologized with wide eyes. I could practically hear her heart rate accelerating. I knew that she was afraid of me. That was easy enough to tell. But I also had a sneaking suspicion that there was more to it than that met the eye. She didn’t just fear me. If I was right, there was a part of her that found me attractive as well.
“No need for an apology,” I told her, calming my tone a bit. “I was going to say that you don’t have to keep calling me by my last name. Ezra is more than fine.”
Her expression was filled with a shock that I didn’t understand. I was strict, yes, and I didn’t entertain anything unprofessional. In the past, I’d never let any of my nannies call me anything other than Mr. Ledger. Quinn was different. And that should have been a bad thing. I knew it was a bad thing.
But I couldn’t stop myself. I hated to admit it.
“Are you sure?” she asked me, her voice low, and she turned around, looking at me, with the spatula in her hand. Her green eyes looked so unsure, and I wondered if I’d done that, if I had made her so unconfident in herself.
“I wouldn’t have said so if I wasn’t sure.” I made it a habit not to think twice after I’d made a decision. Regret was an emotion I preferred not to feel.
“Daddy.”
Coming in, I’d completely forgotten about Paige, which was unusual for me. My world revolved around her. My attention immediately turned to her, and my face turned into a grin. I could tell by her smile that she’d had a good day, and I was sure that I would hear all about it. Preferably not at that moment, but I’d be the first to admit that I would drop anything for my daughter.
She was sitting down, at the table, seemingly doing homework. That was exactly what I wanted to see.
“Paige!” I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her. Nothing felt better than hugging her after a long day of work. Her little arms wrapped around my neck as she hugged me back as hard and as tight as she possibly could.
I picked her up, in my arms, and threw her in the air, the way that I knew she liked. The giggles that she let out were like music to my ears. There was nothing that I wanted to hear more. After throwing her a few times, I brought her down, and she pouted, not wanting to be put down.
Not many got to see this side of me because I kept it hidden. It was a weakness, almost, the amount that I truly cared and could care about someone. Everyone saw the side that I wanted them to see, the cold, heartless business man I made myself out to be. I wouldn’t let them see anything else, any other side of me, because I didn’t want them to think of me any other way.
It was important that they didn’t make me out to be anything else in newspapers and magazines. It was already hard enough to keep them out of my life, and they were less incessant when they thought I wouldn’t tolerate all of their pestering and questionings. I had more important things to do than constantly being interrogated.
I remembered a time when I didn’t care about what people thought. I didn’t mind that everyone knew about the soft side of me because it was reserved for the two best women in my life: Paige, and my past wife, Gabriella. Her name alone made me sad.
My past wife was everything that I could have wanted and more. I hadn’t doubted once that she was the love of my life, and we’d built this perfect life, planned it out, and then she’d died. Everything, all of our plans, had been completely destroyed. I hadn’t just lost her, I’d lost a part of myself, a piece of me. I nearly crumbled and broke down. The only thing that stopped me, that saved me, was Paige.
She was the last thing that I had from my wife, and I cherished her more with every second.
“I’m almost done with homework,” Paige told me, which made me chuckle. It was her way of dismissing me so she could finish what she’d been doing. If the looks alone didn’t sell someone, her personality made it obvious that she was my daughter. She was the kind of person who wanted to finish a task once she’d started it.
“Okay,” I commented. “I’ll leave you to it then.” She nodded and settled back in the kitchen chair, putting all of her little focus on the pieces of paper in front of her. I couldn’t contain my laughter, as I moved back towards Quinn.
She turned around to look at me. “Are you hungry?”
I raised an eyebrow at her. Was this her way of making conversation? I
wasn’t impressed. I wasn’t usually interested in spending time with or bonding with my nannies, but I couldn’t make myself stick to that rule when it came to Quinn. Why did I feel like she was so different? I needed to stop thinking of her in that way, or I was sure that those thoughts would soon become reality.
“What do you think?” I asked her. “I just got home from working a twelve-hour day. Would you be hungry?” I knew what my sarcasm was. It was a defense mechanism to keep space between the two of us. I’d been using that, and my coldness, to keep Quinn from getting too close to me. I had to admit that I felt something for her, but that didn’t mean I had to indulge in it.
I didn’t need a relationship, nor did I want one, even if it was with Quinn herself.
“Sorry,” she apologized again, her green eyes fixed on me as her teeth bit into that luscious pink bottom lip. One thing I’d come to notice about Quinn was the sheer amount that she apologized, something I found rather annoying. I was unsure if this was her personality or if she did it just because I was her employer. Regardless of the reason, it was a habit that she needed to grow out of.
“Stop with all of the apologies,” I told her.
She stared at me and nodded. “Sorry.” Then she sighed. “Sorry. Ahhh.”
“Do you do this with everyone?” I asked her. “Or just me?”
“The apologizing?”
“Yes,” I answered, leaning on the counter. Paige wasn’t paying us any attention, her focus on the work in front of her. I was just happy that she was focused on her work. She’d always had a pretty good work ethic, and that was something I knew that she’d gotten from me.
“Just you,” she answered, shyly. “Is lasagna okay?”
She was trying to stop me from commenting on what she’d just said. I made her nervous. Why was that statement something that made me happy? I debated saying something anyways before deciding against it. If she didn’t want to talk about it then we didn’t have to talk about it, not at this time anyways. Besides, I shouldn’t have cared either way.
“Lasagna is fine,” I told her. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“I’m making it the way you like it.”
“And how do I like it?”
Quinn grinned. “I guess you’ll have to see.”
I nodded, a smile coming to my lips that shocked me. I should not be amused by this woman, yet I was. When she smiled, it was like she introduced a light into the room that wasn’t there before. I swallowed, taking my gaze off of her. “I’m going to change,” I stated.
“I’ll have dinner ready for you when you get back.”
“Good.”
I loosened my tie and made my way upstairs. I spent so much of my life in a suit, and it was nice when I was finally able to get out of it. My home was a place for me to relax, and I was insistent on doing so. I was stuck up for so much of the day that it was nice to be able to relax and not be what everyone else thought I was.
Dinner sounded good, better than good, actually, especially if the aroma in the kitchen, was any indication of how it was going to taste. But I hadn’t worked out this morning, and if I was going to keep my physique and my health then it was important that I stay on my workout regime. It was less about keeping this body and more about living a longer, better life. Although, I did like myself better when I had the abs and toned arms that I had grown accustomed to.
I took off the suit, letting out a sigh of relief once I’d done so. Considering that I was going to work out, I opted for a shower after I finished rather than before. I opened my drawer and took out some shorts that hung low on my hips. I picked out a shirt and was about to put it on before I threw it back in the drawer. I could go without it.
My workout room was just down the hall from my bedroom. My main goal was lifting weights. That and cardio were my favorite things to do to stay in shape.
I was underneath the bar when the door opened and Quinn walked in. I sat up and watched as her cheeks turned pink. She turned around.
“I’m so sorry,” she apologized. “I was just coming in to tell you that dinner is ready. I didn’t realize you’d be indisposed.” I could hear the shock and nervousness in her voice.
“You think this is indisposed?” I asked her.
“I can see, like, all of you.”
“Just my chest.”
“That’s a lot,” she argued.
“Have you never seen the chest of a naked man before?”
Quinn was quiet for a moment. “Of course I have.”
“Then turn around.”
I knew that I shouldn’t, that all of this was a terrible idea. There was no way that this wasn’t going to end badly, but even as I thought that, it was already evident in my mind that I was going to do it anyways. I wanted for Quinn to listen to me, to do what I asked, and for some reason, I had a feeling that she was going to.
4
Quinn
Was this supposed to be some kind of game? Some kind of trick? Why did Ezra want me to look at him? I was sure that he already knew how attractive he was. How could he not? Women practically fell over themselves just to get a second glance at him. Why did he want me to look at him? Because he wanted to affirm that about himself? Maybe he was feeling a little bit insecure and needed someone to prove him wrong?
I almost wanted to scoff. Insecure? This man? I doubted he’d been insecure in his entire life. Everything about him screamed cocky, although I knew him a little bit better than that.
Was he cocky? Yes. Did he have a reason to be so? Yes. But Ezra was a different breed. He knew that he was an attractive, desirable man, but I’d never seen him use that to his advantage or to manipulate women. Then again, I didn’t see him that often. Who knew what he did in his free time?
I’d met his brother Klaus, once. The two were like water and fire, but Klaus had his own set of charms and was nice to look at in his own way. Was he on the same level as Ezra? I didn’t think so, but I could understand why so many women found themselves wanting to get into his bed.
And he was quick to tell me that Ezra had his own fair share of women. I swallowed, remembering the conversation. Back then, I’d tried to just tune him out, but now I found myself wondering why he’d told me. To make himself look better, or because, perhaps, he was trying to tell me something.
Did Ezra want me?
There was no way, and I knew the thought alone was enough to get me in trouble. But then, what was this? What were we doing, right now? And why was there so much chemistry between the two of us? I could almost feel it zapping around us, and if I could feel it, I knew that Ezra felt it as well.
“Turn around,” he instructed me, and I felt the words throughout my entire body. My teeth bit into my bottom lip, and I let out a deep breath. If I turned around, I knew that this was going to change the way that I perceived him. All of this time that I’d fought against seeing him as anything else than my boss would have been wasted.
I couldn’t deny that it was what I wanted, too. How many times had I been left to wonder what he looked like underneath his shirt? I knew that he was in shape, but having a mental image and seeing the real deal were two entirely different things.
And wasn’t he offering me a free pass?
“Quinn,” he said my name in a demanding tone. I could tell that his patience was wearing thin. If I didn’t do what he asked, he would be upset at me. Besides, why was I fighting so hard for something I wanted so badly?
“I told you to turn around,” he reminded me. “Look at me.” His voice was rough and husky, filled with sex. How was I supposed to deny him what he wanted when he sounded like that?
I could feel my heart rapidly beating against my chest, as I turned around to face Ezra. For a moment, my eyes only looked into his.
“Look at all of me, Quinn.” I was so confused about where all of this was coming from, but I didn’t say anything. His permission was all that I had needed to allow my gaze to find his naked chest.
My heart constricted, and I w
ondered how a man could be this attractive. I couldn’t stop myself from completely devouring him, and Ezra hardly seemed to mind. When my eyes went back to his, he was staring at me with a hard expression on his features. Had this been some kind of test? If it had, I had most certainly failed.
The longer that he went without saying anything, the louder my heart seemed to sound, as it pounded against my chest. I had never been a patient person, and now that was showing. I was biting so hard into my bottom lip, I was sure that I could taste my own blood, yet that didn’t stop me.
“Why are you blushing?” Ezra asked, finally breaking the silence.
I hadn’t even noticed the heat in my cheeks, but I wasn’t surprised. How was I to be expected to act unfazed? That was impossible when it came to him. I cleared my throat.
“I don’t know.” It was the best answer that I could give him. If I told him that I found him attractive, I was sure that my job would be ripped away from me.
“Are you lying to me?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at me as if that was the last thing he’d expect from me. And I understood that. If there was one thing that I wasn’t, it was a liar. It was why people trusted me so easily and as much as they did.
“No,” I answered, my voice shaking, ratting me out. The air was filled with the smell of the lasagna that I’d just made, so I was determined to use that as a way to make Ezra let me go. I’d already taken it out of the oven, so I knew that I couldn’t say it was burning. But I knew what I could say.
“Paige is waiting for dinner, so I should probably serve her. I’m sure she’s hungry since she didn’t get her snack today.”
I breathed rapidly while I waited. Ezra narrowed his eyes at me ever so slightly, before nodding his head and gesturing for me to leave. I was more than happy to oblige, letting out a deep breath and scurrying away. I was surprised that he hadn’t fired me on the spot.
I wasn’t going to question his decisions.
When I made it back to the kitchen, Paige had cleaned up all of her work herself, and she was playing on the iPad her father had bought her. I took it from her and held it up.