by Wood, Lauren
Quinn looked absolutely heartbroken at everything that was going on. There were now tears going down her cheeks. “Fine,” she said, in acceptance, realizing that there wasn’t going to be a way out of this. I was sticking my ground, and she was being forced to just accept that. “You don’t have to give me so much money.”
“Consider it a parting gift for your mother.”
She nodded. “Sure, thank you.”
“You’re going to watch Paige today,” I told her, just before disappearing upstairs. How much longer could I look at her face and hate myself for the words that I was saying? I just had to get away from her.
I found Klaus playing with my daughter.
“Klaus,” I grabbed his attention. He looked at me and shook his head. “I think that I can go for that drink.”
He stared at me before nodding. “Then let’s get you a drink.”
14
Quinn
I was getting kicked out. Maybe that shouldn’t have been such a surprise to me, but it was. I had never expected this was going to happen when I came back. I thought everything would be all rainbows and sunshine, and now I was wondering if I was the one in the wrong for thinking that.
After all, I had to look at who I was dealing with. Ezra was far from a selfless man unless it was about his daughter. Kayley had told me that he’d been cold and heartless since the day that his wife had died, but how could someone be so cold when he treated his daughter the way that he did, when he treated me the way that he did?
The way that he ‘had treated me’ was the new terminology. I couldn’t believe that he was actually firing me, not after how close Paige and I had become. Didn’t he realize that she was going to be heartbroken when he told her? And what reason was he going to give her? That his relationship with her nanny was too intimate, and he couldn’t handle it anymore?
Because I may have gotten a little bit carried away and kissed him the day that I found out my mother was dying. Or because he was actually starting to live a little since the death of his wife. Because he started to feel something for someone else. And instead of embracing it, he was pushing it away, pushing me away.
And who was the one that got burned, in the end? Me. It was always me.
I’d really thought that the two of us had bonded, that I was more to him than just a nanny. But then again, perhaps that was the problem to begin with? His feelings for me were ones he wanted to escape from, and this was his way of doing that.
I should have said as much when he told me, yet I hadn’t. It was like I was still afraid of him, but hadn’t he fired me anyways? Wasn’t it time for me to be able to tell my feelings too and not just listen to his one side, his biased opinion? I had a voice, too, and maybe it was about time for Ezra to hear it.
He was firing me because he loved me or felt strongly for me, at the least. And Ezra had to be stubborn, just like he always was. I was different from the other nannies, I made him feel different. And now I was going to be punished because of it. How was any of that fair?
And then he’d had the audacity to make himself out to be the good guy and tell me that he’d handled everything without asking me for my opinion. Ezra had just done, and that was the hardest part about any of this. How long had he been thinking about this and just hadn’t told me? Since when had Ezra known that he was going to fire me? When I left to take care of my mother? Before then? After? And he’d pretended as if everything was okay when he picked me up, just to spring this on me my first day back.
I despised him.
And the worst part about all of this was that I hadn’t even gotten the chance to tell him that I was pregnant with his child, that I was carrying his baby. I’d thought that everything was going to work out, that it would all be okay. To be honest, I was going to keep this baby whether that was what he wanted or not.
Why had I been so idiotic to get this stupid little picture in my head about what our future could look like? I’d thought that perhaps we could be a big family, a dysfunctional one, sure, but what was a good family without a little bit of dysfunction? Ezra would accept the child and love him or her just as much as he loved Paige. He would bond with them and love them, but I couldn’t have been farther off the mark.
He didn’t want anything to do with me, which meant he wouldn’t want anything to do with our little baby. So there was very little point in even telling him, just so that he could reject me, or shut me down or, worse, tell me that it wasn’t his child and I must have been whoring around. Unfortunately, I knew that Ezra was capable of all of those reactions, and I didn’t want to be on the receiving end.
I wasn’t going to force a child on any man. If he didn’t want the trouble, then as far as I was concerned, that was the end of the story. I wasn’t going to throw some huge tantrum and end up on one of those talk shows where they announced that he was in fact the father.
No kid deserved that, especially not mine. They deserved to be raised in an atmosphere with parents that loved them, not one that hated them. I knew, without a doubt that I could provide that kind of home for my child, but I didn’t think that Ezra could do the same, not without thinking of the child as an accident.
So, it was simple. I just wasn’t going to tell him. The less that he knew, the better it would be for me. By kicking me out, he’d made it clear that he wasn’t ready to face any feelings that he had for me. So, why complicate things even further? I wasn’t going to lock him to me because he’d knocked me up.
And I wouldn’t ask for anything of him, not child support, or anything. He wanted to give me a gift when I left, and this was my way of giving him a gift. The only bummer was the fact that I would never know whether he liked my present or not. I had no clue where I would end up or with whom, but one thing I knew for certain was that it wouldn’t be there with Paige and Ezra.
I got a text message on my phone and checked it, knowing that it was Kayley. I had asked her to come over and help me move out. She didn’t know why I was doing this all so suddenly, but I promised her that I was going to explain once she actually got here.
When I went downstairs to greet her, Ezra was there, and he stared at me as if he expected me to say something, anything. Our relationship had been tense the last couple of days, ever since he told me that he was firing me. There wasn’t much in me that wanted to talk to such a selfish man.
And he was always waiting for me to make a move, as if anything I said or did was going to make him change his mind. So, I went with the next best method and just ignored him. I held my chin up high and opened the front door so that his old nanny, and my best friend, Kayley, could walk in.
Ezra stood up when she walked in and sent me a pointed look. I knew what it was about. I hadn’t told him that I had been expecting something, and that was a huge peeve of his. Unfortunately though, as of late, I’d found myself not caring. I wasn’t going to be around much longer anyways, and he’d already fired me. What was he going to do next? There was nothing worse than that.
“Kayley,” he greeted. “You look well.”
“Well, so do you, muffin.” She waved at him. “Now, where’s Paigey?”
“School,” I reminded her. “It is a weekday.”
“Right, right. Well are you going to show me to the room or should I guide you? I’m fairly certain I may know this house better than you do.”
She was making tons of jokes, but I was sure that once she found out the truth, she was going to be livid. Kayley wasn’t really the dramatic type, but she was a fairly selfish and self-sufficient person. Although that didn’t mean that she didn’t care about her friends. In fact, that little fact made her fiercely protective, especially when it came to me, because she often thought that I let people walk all over me even if I begged to differ.
Once we were in the room, she was looking around fondly recalling memories from when she had lived here and been the nanny for Paige, before she’d moved onto her bigger and better opportunity, as she liked to call it. She turned her attent
ion to me and shook her head.
“It’s like nothing has changed here,” she said and tossed her head back and laughed. “Isn’t that just the weirdest thing? I feel like it was just a couple days ago when I lived here.”
“That is weird.” My voice was lethargic as I sat on the bed and began to pack some things.
Kayley noticed and sat beside me, helping me put things in the box. “I don’t understand,” she told me evenly and shrugged her shoulders. “You have this wonderful opportunity, and all of your needs are being met. Why are you quitting? Why are you moving out?”
I felt like such a terrible friend because of how much I hadn’t told her, because of how much I’d left her in the dark and been untruthful because I didn’t think there was a reason to tell her the truth. She didn’t know that Ezra and I had slept together, not once but twice. And then there was the make-out session before that and the passionate kiss before I’d gone to see my mother.
I knew that I had to be honest, that I had to tell someone, and who better than my best friend?
“I didn’t quit,” I told her and gave her a sad smile. “I was fired.”
Her face scrunched into a frown. “Fired?!” she exclaimed. “You? For what? You’re perfect for this job? What could you possibly have done to make Ezra fire you?”
“I made out with him,” I answered.
Kayley gasped, and her eyes widened. “Quinn!” she exclaimed. “Tell me that you’re not serious.”
“And that’s not all.”
“It isn’t?”
“We also slept together. Twice.”
“Oh my goodness, Quinn, this is terrible! This is the reason that he’s firing you. Didn’t I tell you not to get sexually or physically involved with this man no matter how much you wanted to? You assured me that it wouldn’t be a problem?”
“Well, I didn’t think that it was going to be a problem.”
She sighed. “Is that all?”
“And we kissed before I visited my mom.”
“Oh my goodness, Quinn, when did you become such a dirty slut?!” She exclaimed, her voice joking.
My lips separated in surprise, and my eyes widened before the laughs began to spew from my lips. “Kayley!” I was laughing and shaking my head.
“Is there anything else that you’re not telling me?”
“One other thing,” I swallowed, my laughs gone. “I’m pregnant.”
Her phone fell from her hand. “With whose child?”
“Ezra’s.”
“Oh, you just had to take it above and beyond, didn’t you? It can’t just be a one-night stand, it has to be a surprise pregnancy.” I could tell that she was growing frustrated. “And he’s kicking you out, anyways.”
I sighed and let my shoulders sag. “Yes.”
“Oh, not on my watch, he’s not!” she snapped. “He’s not going to avoid his responsibilities. I can’t believe he’d even act like this, considering how great of a father he is to Paige.”
Kayley stood up, and my eyes widened with panic, as she opened the bedroom door. “What are you doing?” I asked her, my short legs trying to keep up with her much longer ones.
“I’m about to give Ezra the ass beating of a lifetime.” Her words made a shiver run down my spine. I couldn’t let her do that.
She was downstairs before I could say or do anything to stop her.
“Ezra!” she shouted his name, which made him snap his head in our direction. His eyebrows were furrowed, and his lips were turned down. He was casually lounging in the living area, obviously not having had too much work to do. And he didn’t seem to enjoy being yelled at, especially by someone that no longer worked for him.
“Please, stop shouting, Kayley,” he demanded. “I thought that we went over that when you originally were working here.”
“Oh, can it!” she snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. I was just standing behind her, my teeth biting hard into my bottom lip from the nervousness that I was feeling. This was not going to end well.
“You’re throwing out Quinn, why?” she demanded an answer.
“That’s between Ms. Sharpe and I.”
“It’s funny that you feel obligated to call her by her last name. Was that before the two of you got naked in the sheets or after she was already pregnant with your baby?” The second that the words left her lips, I knew that all hell was about to break loose. My entire heart stopped as I looked up to meet those crystal eyes.
Ezra looked absolutely livid. “What did you just say to me?”
“Don’t act like an idiot!” Kayley snapped, and I knew that she was making this entire situation far worse than it should have been. I should have told Ezra before I told Kayley. That mistake had been on my part, but there was nothing that I could do about it, now. The truth was out in the air, and it couldn’t be taken back.
“You’ll do well to watch the way you speak to me,” Ezra said simply, and I could see the anger spreading throughout his entire body.
“Oh, you can cut it with the boss mindset. I’m not your nanny anymore, and really Kayley isn’t either, so we have no reason to listen to you.” She let out a sigh and shook her head. “I’m surprised more than anything. You’re supposed to be this amazing father, yet you knocked up this girl. And what do you do? Not try to support her or be there by her side. You kick her out. What does that say about you? I have half a mind to call the magazines and report this. Man, what I wouldn’t give to see you blasphemed all over the covers, just as you should.”
“Kayley, do you ever shut the fuck up,” Ezra asked before he stood up and walked over to us. His attention was fully on me, as he grabbed my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. Kayley was walking towards us, and he glared at her. “Keep your distance, that’s the only warning that I’ll give you.” His voice was dark and rough.
“Are you pregnant with my child?” he asked. “I’ll only ask you, once.”
My lips pursed. “Yes, I am.”
15
Ezra
I had never felt so angry in my entire life. I was struggling to keep myself from snapping at them, struggling to keep the rage that I was feeling down. I was mad for so many reasons. When had Quinn found out that she was pregnant, and why hadn’t she told me? Why had she let me fire her and kept her mouth shut just for me to find out, all of a sudden? And from Kayley, of all people.
Quinn should have been the one to tell me, and now they were making me out to be some kind of bad guy because I hadn’t known the truth. I wasn’t going to be blamed for her misdemeanors. If she had known, why hadn’t she said anything? What was the point in keeping that information from me?
Unless it was a lie, some kind of ploy to allow for Quinn to keep her job. I might have expected something like that from Kayley, but definitely not from Quinn. She was far too honest of a person. Besides, she’d looked me in the eye and told me that she was pregnant. And, even if it made me an idiot, I believed her.
A part of me felt joy at all of this, at the fact that I was about to have another kid. Before the death of my wife, there had been nothing that I wanted more than to have a large family with four or five children. There was nothing that I valued more than family, but after Paige, it had felt like that dream was taken away from me.
I was more than willing to take care of what was mine, but the fact that she’d been prepared to keep this a secret from me made me want to punch a hole through a wall. Did she call that fair, reasonable? She would raise our child in secret when I could be giving the kid the best of everything, the same way that I had done with Paige?
My eyes didn’t stray from Quinn, but my words were directed at her best friend instead. “Go upstairs,” I demanded. “Or get out.” I wanted to speak with Quinn alone, get down to the bottom of all of this, and with how Kayley was, I wasn’t going to be able to do that with her there. She would hover and put her nose in things that didn’t concern her.
“You don’t tell me what to do.”
“Now!” I roa
red.
That made Kayley’s back straighten, as she continued to glare at me. “I’ll just be upstairs, so if you need anything, just shout my name, and I’ll be here.”
Quinn didn’t say anything, probably because she was too focused on me, as Kayley made her way upstairs, staring at us the entire time before she disappeared at the top. Now, I could give my full attention to the woman who was supposedly carrying my child. I attempted to keep my voice level. “Were you going to tell me the truth?”
She swallowed. “No.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I growled. “What were you hoping to accomplish by not telling me? What did you want to prove, that you could be a big girl, and you could raise the kid all on your own? How stupid can you be, Quinn, I mean, come on! Obviously you know that child’s best option is with me.”
“Don’t call me stupid!” she snapped, gaining some of her fire back and ripping her chin from my hand. “And what am I supposed to do, just be clear of the picture and let you enjoy the kid all to yourself? No, thank you.”
“It’s our kid,” I stated, as if she had forgotten. “Which means that I had a right to know.”
“I don’t disagree with you.”
“But you weren’t going to tell me?”
“Why would I?”
“Because I’m the father.”
“You kicked me out, Ezra, did you forget that? You fired me the second that I came home. Even if I had wanted to tell you, which I did, originally, there wasn’t time for me to. You made it incredibly clear that you wanted nothing to do with me.”
Some of my anger evaporated as I thought about what she was saying. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so hasty with how I’d acted, but I hadn’t thought that I’d had any other options. I’d thought that it was going to be the best for both of us.
“So, was not telling me your way of spiting me?” I asked, inhaling and exhaling deeply to keep myself calm. “Your way of getting back at me because I hurt your feelings?”