by Katie Knight
Ouch. The words hit Tess harder than she’d expected. She was qualified for this job. Wasn’t she? During her years as a speech therapist, she’d spent countless hours helping people of all ages regain or improve their ability to communicate. She’d been good at it too, or at least she’d thought she’d been. Until the day she’d gotten word that Theo had killed himself over his lack of progress with his stutter. Depression had been a factor. Now, her doubt demons snarled every time she even considered coaching another person, let alone returning to speech therapy. It was part of the reason why she’d started the book shop. The other part was obviously because she’d needed the income. But reading had always been her first love, her escape when the world became too overwhelming. Then her bookstore had gone under when a big box store opened nearby, and she’d been back on the job market again.
Jed stood and exhaled slow. “I should have tried to reach you to go over your qualifications before you got here, but this morning was pretty hectic, and this afternoon’s shaping up to be the same. Once again, I’m sorry. I’ll show you out.”
Tess blinked up at him, stunned. “That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
Her heart sank to her toes at the finality in this tone. “But I really need this job. Please. At least give me a try. I can—” She stood, clutching her purse in front of her like a shield, ready to stand her ground even though her knees where wobbling. Seemed bravery was growing on her. It was about time. “Please?”
“J-Jed?” a small voice said from the doorway leading into the kitchen. “C-can you h-help me with s-s-something real q-quick?”
Glancing over, Tess saw a small African-American girl with glasses and her hair in pigtails, a hardbound edition of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone in her hands. Jed’s gaze darted from the little girl to Tess then back again.
He walked over to crouch in front of her and placed his hands on her small, skinny forearms. “I’m kind of in the middle of something right now, sweetie. Why don’t you go make yourself a snack in the kitchen and as soon as I’m done with this nice lady, I’ll be in to help you. Okay, Nala?”
Nala looked at Tess again, giving her a skeptical once-over, a hint of wariness in her big brown eyes. “O-okay. C-can I have toast and Nutella?”
Jed snorted. “One piece. I’m making dinner later.”
The little girl turned and walked away, leaving both Jed and Tess to stare after her.
“She must be your daughter,” Tess said a few moments later to fill the awkward silence. “She’s lovely.”
“She’s my ward,” he said, still crouched before the doorway, his head lowered now. “And she’s beautiful. And I’d do anything in the world to help her through this, if only I could figure out what she needs.”
A yearning ache squeezed tight in Tess’s chest at the pain in his voice. She knew that kind of grief and helplessness all too well. They were the same emotions she’d felt the day she’d heard about Theo’s suicide. He’d been doing so well, she’d thought, had his whole future ahead of him, then boom. All gone in an instant. Wounds like that left scars, and those feelings took a long time to process. Sometimes years. Or lifetimes. The sorrow still hit Tess like a sledgehammer at times even though Theo had been gone for nearly a year now. She’d been his speech therapist, his friend, his confidant.
She’d not been enough.
What in the world made her think she’d be enough now?
Shoulders sagging, she tugged her jacket back on and grabbed her purse. Jed was right. She had no business applying for this job, no matter how badly she needed it. She had no formal experience. She had no expert qualifications. She had no confidence in herself.
“Right. Well, I’ll go then.” She sidled toward the door, wanting to leave without a fuss so these two grieving people could get back to their lives. “Thank you for seeing me.”
Her hand was on the door knob when his phone rang. She hesitated on the threshold as the sound of him straightening, then cursing softly behind her cut through the sounds of Nala in the kitchen, using the toaster and searching through the cabinets.
“Damn. I need to take this,” Jed said. Tess turned slightly to glance at him over her shoulder, her hand still on the cold metal of the knob, ready to leave.
Taking a deep breath, Tess started to turn the knob, then hesitated. Maybe it was because of her curiosity about the little girl in the kitchen. Maybe it was the flicker of desperation in Jed’s icy stare as he’d confessed not knowing how to help Nala. Whatever it was, she remained in the living room while Jed walked away, phone to his ear.
“Mr. Steenman, yes,” he said as he walked down a hallway and disappeared into a room at the end, the door closing behind him.
Tess looked around at the room again. It was bachelor basic décor with bland beige, functional furniture and no pictures or paintings or traces of anything that made it feel like a real home. Nothing welcoming to make a young girl feel comfortable.
From the kitchen drifted the sound of bread popping out of the toaster, followed by the yummy smell of warm yeasty goodness. Tess’s stomach growled, and she found herself wandering toward the doorway. She’d been so busy rushing around prior to this appointment that she’d forgotten to eat lunch.
Not wanting to intrude, she watched Nala from the doorway as the girl spread a thick layer of Nutella on a slice of toast then licked the knife clean before shoving the utensil in the nearby dishwasher. She put the lid back on the container of spread then stood on tiptoe to reach the shelf of the cabinet above. Tess cringed as she watched the cereal box wobble ready to come down on top of the girl along with whatever else was on that too high shelf. Another push of the Nutella jar onto the shelf and the box sprang free tipping forward.
Three
Tess hurried over to help pushing the box back before gravity took over. “Here, I’ve got it.”
Nala snatched her hand back as if she’d been burnt, staring at Tess with wide eyes behind her glasses, the expression giving her a slightly owlish appearance. “T-thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” Tess gave the girl what she hoped was a reassuring smile then slid the Nutella back onto the shelf before closing the cabinet. Then she crouched in front of the girl in a mirror of Jed’s earlier position, without touching her though, of course. “My name’s Tessa Franklin. What’s yours?”
Nala looked her up and down again as if assessing whether or not she was trustworthy. Eventually, she narrowed her dark gaze and raised her chin a bit. “N-nala. N-n-nala J-jackson.”
The stutter was worse now, Tess noted. Not uncommon, since she was a stranger and most likely the girl viewed her as an authority figure. Tessa’s lisp had been very similar when she was a child.
No. She was not here to treat Nala’s stutter. In fact, she wasn’t here for anything at all anymore, considering the way Jed had dismissed her earlier. The sooner she stopped thinking about Nala as a patient and started thinking about her as just another little girl she’d met, the better. Even more productive would be to start brainstorming about what the heck she was going to do to find a job since this one had fallen through.
Sighing, Tess straightened and glanced over to the kitchen table, spotting Nala’s book sitting there, pages down, the brightly colored cover glowing under the overhead light. As she walked over to stare down at one of her favorite books, the stress of the outside world faded a bit. Tess smiled. “Are you a Potter fan too?”
The little girl gave a cautious nod.
“Which book is your favorite?” Tess ran her fingers down the spine of the book. “Mine’s The Prisoner of Azkaban, but that’s because I have a serious crush on Sirius Black. Have you finished the whole series yet?”
“Three times,” Nala said, her small shoulders squaring a bit. “My f-favorite’s The Chamber of Secrets. Professor Lockhart’s s-silly.”
“He is, isn’t he?” Tess chuckled. She looked out into the living room and saw no sign of Jed yet, so she tapped the back of one of the kitch
en chairs. Better to sit in here and have some good company and talk about good books than sit alone in the living room and stare at a blank wall while she waited. “Mind if I have a seat?”
Nala hesitated a moment, then shook her head, carrying over her plate of toast and taking her seat again beside Tess. She picked up a half slice and bit into it, talking around the bite of food. “H-how many t-times h-have you r-read them?”
“Oh, gosh.” Tess used her fingers to count, earning a giggle from Nala. The sound, high and lilting, brightened the world for a moment. “Let’s see. I got the first book when it came out in 1997, and I read them religiously after that, so wow. Probably twelve times at least.”
“M-man.” Nala snorted and wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. “If y-you read them once e-every year, then t-that’s more times than I-I’ve been alive.”
“Really? How old are you?” Tess asked, placing a hand over her stomach as it growled loud again.
“E-eleven. Almost twelve.” Nala pushed her plate toward Tess, pointing at the remaining half slice of chocolate-covered toast. “You can have that if you want.”
Touched by the kindness, Tess tilted her head. “Thank you.”
“S-sure.” Nala swallowed another bite of food. “W-why do you l-like S-sirus B-black? H-he’s o-old.”
It was Tess’s turn to snort now. “He’s not that old. Besides, he’s smart and kind and caring and—”
The clearing of a throat made both females turn to stare at the kitchen doorway. Jed stood there, arms crossed and expression unreadable as he watched them both at the table.
Heat prickled Tess’s cheeks as she wondered how long he’d been standing there. She’d completely lost track of things when she’d started talking to Nala about her books. She fumbled to stand, feeling like an even bigger idiot than she had before. “Sorry, Nala and I were just talking about Harry Potter.”
Jed slowly pushed away from the doorframe and walked over to the table, his gaze never leaving Tess. At least now his stare didn’t seem so icy. In fact, as he watched her, she’d swear she saw the unmistakable signs of male intrigue. Tess’s heart skipped a beat.
He stood before her, even taller and broader and more muscled than she’d remembered—all precise military-honed confidence and masculine swagger, and Tess couldn’t help noticing that Jed Tremayne was a very handsome man who smelled of soap and sandalwood and fabric softener.
Warmth spread outward from her core despite her determination otherwise.
His gaze flickered from her eyes to her lips, then back again before he seemed to realize he was crowding her space and stepped back, his cool façade slipping back into place in an instant. Her heart still pounded, and an unwanted awareness of him as a man pulsed through her bloodstream.
“I, uh, that was a new client,” he said, his movements a bit less graceful now as if he’d been as affected by what just passed as she’d been. “He’s offered me a security position at his new warehouse in town. It’s a good opportunity, but it’ll have me out of the house for most of the day. Nala is currently on a leave of absence from her school, and I need someone who can not only serve as a live-in nanny for her, but also be a tutor to homeschool her as well. I know I told you earlier that this wouldn’t work out because of your lack of experience, but you seem to be connecting with her really well. John gave you high recommendations too.” He exhaled slow, as if coming to a decision. They moved the conversation out into the hallway for a bit of privacy. “I need to get someone settled into the position ASAP, and I’ve already conducted more interviews than I care to remember. You seem to be the only person Nala’s warmed up to so far. If you’re willing to give the position a try, I’m willing to as well. I know the original position was for a part-time nanny only. But ideally, I’d like it to be a live-in position. You’d have your own room upstairs with a private bath, locks on the doors for your privacy. And a key to the front entrance so you can come and go as you please. With my work hours, I really need someone in-house who can stay with Nala while I’m not here.”
Going from “no thanks” to “hired” so fast nearly gave Tess a case of emotional whiplash, but she was too desperate to decline. She glanced down at Nala to gauge her reaction to the job offer and saw that she was already back to reading her book. Nanny and tutor. It was more than she’d expected, but she could handle it. Plus, it would get her out of her crappy apartment and help her save more money to open another bookstore in the future. “How long would the position last?”
“Until Nala doesn’t need you anymore, or until I find another suitable replacement.”
“And the pay?”
“Since this is more than the original offer, I’d include your living expenses, plus salary. Does that work for you?”
Tess hesitated for only a moment, just to make it look good. “Fine, I accept.”
Jed stepped forward to shake her hand, the skin to skin contact and the strength of his grip sending shivers of sparks up her arm. “Great. Welcome aboard.”
Four
The next day, Tess showed up bright and early to begin moving her belongings into Jed’s guest room where she’d be staying for the duration of the job. The house itself was nice enough—older, Victorian-style, with two floors and a basement and all the usual amenities—even if Jed still seemed to be avoiding her like the plague.
He’d opened the door for her when she arrived and mumbled a greeting as he’d led her to her room upstairs. Then he’d offered to help, which she’d declined, before rushing off with the excuse he had a lot of prep work to do before starting his new job at the warehouse the following week.
For all Tess knew, his statement was entirely true. What she knew about the security business would fit inside a thimble. But there was something about Jed, the way he seemed to look away when she glanced over at him that gave her the distinct impression he was avoiding her.
Just as well, she supposed, as she went back outside to grab another box from the back of her compact car. The guy was disturbing enough as it was, at least to her. She didn’t need him hanging around, making her feel all sorts of things she shouldn’t be feeling. He was so…so…intense. Those icy blue eyes of his saw far too much, and Tess had more than her share of pain to hide.
Fortunately, he’d emailed her earlier with some basic information—basic house rules for dos and don’ts, the regular schedule for meals and bedtimes, Nala’s allergies and dislikes, and a list of emergency numbers—so she wasn’t operating entirely in the dark. Armed with that information, she was more than willing to tackle the job ahead of her without her boss looking over her shoulder.
She trundled up the stairs and down the hall to her room in the corner. After setting the latest box down atop the dresser, she wiped her hands on her jeans and gazed around the room. She’d hold off on bringing in any more boxes until she’d unpacked some of the ones already here. Décor-wise, things were pretty Spartan—there was a double bed, a dresser, an armoire, a closet, and one easy chair beside the window with a floor lamp beside it. Luckily, there was a small attached bathroom as well, so she wouldn’t have to worry about any awkward pre-shower run-ins with Jed in the mornings. That was it. But it was fine. She doubted she’d be spending much time in there anyway, with tutoring Nala and keeping her company while Jed worked.
Tess got busy unpacking, putting away her clothes first, then moved on to her toiletries before finally pulling out the few knickknacks she’d brought along from her apartment. The rest had been sent to storage since she’d decided to sublet her place to make some extra cash while she was working here. There were a few photos of her in the bookstore, smiling with some of the local authors she’d brought in for book signings. A couple pictures from her college days and her graduation, and one of her receiving her Speech Therapy certification. With a sigh, she pulled out the last photo, her heart pinching with bitter-sweetness. It was a picture of her and Theo, taken several weeks before his death. Both of them were smiling and happy, arms around eac
h other, no indication of the tragedy to come.
She squinted at Theo’s face, searching for some clue, some sign that he’d been suffering, that he’d been desperate enough to take his own life, but there was none. Just as the brief investigation the police had done into his death had turned up nothing. It was just one of those things, they’d said. One of those heart-breaking, gut-wrenching, life-altering things. She sniffled and set the photo on the nightstand beside the bed.
“W-why are you s-sad?” a small voice asked, jarring Tess from her grief.
She turned slightly to see Nala watching her from the doorway and smiled. “Someone very close to me died and I miss him.”
“W-was he your h-husband?” the little girl asked, venturing a step farther into the room.
“No.” Tess gave a small, sad smile. “We weren’t married. Just very much in love.”
Nala nodded, staring down at her shoes. “I’m s-sorry.”
“It’s okay, sweetie. Thank you.” When the girl didn’t leave, Tess figured she might as well use this as an opportunity to get to know her better. “Want to help me put the rest of this stuff away?”
“Oh, uh, s-sure,” Nala said, wandering over to stand beside Tess near the bed. “Y-you’ve got lots of b-books.”
“Occupational hazard.” Tess snorted. “I used to own a book shop, so it helped feed my obsession. What else do you like to read, besides Harry Potter?”
“I l-like mysteries and some f-fantasy stuff.” Nala shuffled through the books in the box on the bed as she spoke, her stutter becoming less and less apparent as she relaxed. “I just finished The Golden Compass and The Hobbit, and I’m re-reading P-rincess Acad-demy now.”
“What about Little Women?” Tess asked, pulling one of her all-time favorite books out of the box. “Have you read that one yet?”
Nala shook her head. “W-what’s it about?”