by Katie Knight
Dinner.
As she flipped through her Composition teacher’s manual, her mind returned to their impending evening together at the restaurant. She wasn’t even sure what to wear. Normally, she’d throw on a little black dress and be done with it, but this wasn’t a date. It was business.
Except it didn’t really feel like business. Not to her anyway.
Jed, for his part, hadn’t given her any indication that he felt this same undercurrent of attraction between them that she did. She supposed she should be grateful for that, considering any romance between them was doomed from the start. Best to keep it one-sided, stop all her silly schoolgirl daydreams about the handsome former-SEAL she could never have, and focus on what was really important—keeping this job so she could continue to work with Nala and also save up enough money to eventually open another bookshop.
Running her own business had been challenging, to say the least, but it had also been exhilarating. She’d loved being her own boss and being able to spend her days surrounded by the books she loved. Plus, now she had more experience under her belt. She knew what not to do and could hopefully avoid the pitfalls that had driven her to close the first store the year prior. With luck, she planned to work for Jed until Nala didn’t need her anymore, then find a cheap apartment while she searched for a new location for her shop. Ideally, she’d like to find a place with living quarters attached. That would kill two birds with one stone.
A hint of guilt niggled at the back of her mind, the disapproving voices of her parents stating that she’d spent all that money and time getting her doctorate in speech therapy only to set it all aside. Tess knew they were disappointed. Sometimes she was too, but she just wasn’t strong enough yet emotionally to return to the career that had given her so much then taken it all away. Some days, she doubted she ever would be ready.
Nala came back downstairs with yet another Harry Potter book and settled into her seat on the sofa with her novel in one hand and a notebook and pen in the other. “R-ready.”
“Great.” Tess gave her a small smile. “Today, I want you to continue where you left off yesterday. Read through the rest of the chapter and make notes of sentences that make you feel something, good or bad. Afterward, we’ll go through them and figure out why they’re effective. Okay?”
“Okay.”
While her student worked, Tess flipped through more of her teacher’s manual, looking ahead to future lessons while her mind remained focused on the upcoming night with Jed. He’d said he’d make the reservations today while he was at work, and he’d let her know the details after dinner tonight. Her heart gave a tiny leap of anticipation before she tamped it down.
She decided pants would be best. Crisp black pants, a nice sweater, modest pumps, small earrings, but otherwise no jewelry. Yep. That should give the proper business-like impression she was going for without revealing the simmering attraction she felt tingling beneath her skin whenever Jed was around. They would go to the restaurant, share some good food, have some nice conversation, then make a decision about whether the place was suitable for Nala or not.
Should be an easy, no fuss, no muss evening between colleagues. Just what Jed said he wanted.
Too bad each time she pictured sitting across from him at the table, all she could see was those sexy, strong arms of his, and those blue, blue eyes, making her want things she had no business wanting.
Thirteen
“Wow!” Jed said as a hostess showed them to their table in the chic, new Italian restaurant Cino e Vino. The place reeked of upscale class with its honey oak pickled floors and river rock walls. All the tables were covered with crisp white linen, and large canvas banners in varying tasteful shades of taupe and cream were strung across the ceiling. It felt like dining in a courtyard in Tuscany, and Jed was afraid he’d mess something up just by looking at it. He helped Tess into her seat, doing his best not to stare at how incredible she looked in that outfit of hers, then slid into his own chair across from her. The hostess handed them their menus along with a listing of the day’s fresh seafood specials before leaving. He resisted the urge to fiddle with his tie and adjust his already immaculate sport coat. “So, this place is Michelin Star rated. The food’s supposed to be excellent. At least according to Kevin. Not sure the guy’s an expert on cuisine, but from the smells in here, I’m a believer.”
He took a gulp of water from the goblet the server filled, willing himself to shut the hell up. When he was nervous he had a tendency to ramble, and he’d felt on edge ever since the sitter had shown up to watch Nala and he and Tess had walked out of the house. Not because he didn’t want to spend more time with Tess, but because he did. It worried him, how much time he spent thinking about her, how much he’d looked forward to this evening. This was supposed to be an evening out between colleagues. That’s what they’d agreed to, yet he couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that this felt very date-like indeed.
Tess smiled at him over the top of her menu, her smooth skin practically glowing beneath the soft overhead lighting. His fingertips itched with the crazy urge to stroke her cheek to see if she felt as velvety as she looked. He clenched his fist beneath the table. No touching. Not now. Not ever. That wasn’t part of the plan.
Jed set his menu aside and looked around the spacious area. It was packed with people and he felt lucky to have gotten a reservation so quickly. When he’d called a few days earlier, the hostess had said that they’d just had a cancellation.
He tapped his fingers on the tabletop and searched for something to say. Small talk wasn’t exactly his forte. “Know what you’re going to have yet?”
“Oh, um. I’m not sure.” She bit her lip, something he’d noticed Tess did a lot when she was thinking. He found it adorable. Jed looked away fast and swallowed hard. “I’m deciding between the Alaskan halibut and the Trofie. How about you?”
He blinked for a minute, caught in her warm hazel gaze. “Uh, lobster ravioli for me.”
“Yum!” She giggled, and he felt that lilting sound all the way to his toes. She frowned slightly then nodded and set her menu atop his. “Yep. Trofie for me.”
The server returned, and Jed placed their order and added a bottle of chardonnay to their tab. Once the server had left and the sommelier had brought their wine, Tess sat back and took a look around.
“This is so nice,” she said, staring up at the banner overheard. “But I’m not sure an eleven-year-old would feel comfortable here.” She fidgeted with her napkin in her lap then grinned. “I’m not sure I feel entirely comfortable here. I’m afraid I’ll stain the tablecloth or stick a spoon up my nose or something.”
Jed’s tense shoulders relaxed at her confession. He chuckled. “Same here. My guess is Nala would be just as happy at the Olive Garden down the street. Probably more so.”
“Cheers to Olive Garden!” Tess held up her wine glass and clinked it gently against Jed’s.
“Cheers.” They both sat in silence for a moment, just taking it all in. Finally, he asked, “So, how does a speech therapist end up running a bookstore?”
Tess’s smile faltered slightly as she set her glass down. She sighed and stared at her hands in her lap. “I had a case that didn’t go as planned.”
“Oh?” Intrigued, he wanted to know more. “How so?”
She looked away. “I don’t talk about this often.”
“I’m sorry.” He mentally kicked himself in the ass. Great. He’d made her uncomfortable. “I didn’t mean to pry.”
“No, no.” She tucked her hair behind her ear and shook her head. “It’s time I talked about it. About Theo.”
“Was he your patient?”
“Yes. He was also my fiancé.” At his surprised look, she gave him a small, sad smile. “I know. Oldest rule in the book. Don’t get involved with patients. But he’d been discharged from my care before we began seriously dating. He transferred over to see one of the other therapists in our practice. I only coached him in an unofficial capacity.” She shrugge
d. “Anyway, when we first met, it was because he’d had a stroke. He was young and healthy, so it was totally unexpected. The doctors said that it was probably a congenital defect in one of the blood vessels in his brain. One day there was too much stress on it and the walls burst. Theo fought hard and regained all of his motor skills and his speech was improving too.” She sniffled and placed her napkin on the table, twisting it between her fingers. “He was a perfectionist, though, and wanted everything to be just the way it was before. He was such a wonderful, strong man, but he didn’t take criticism well. I had no idea that one of his co-workers was giving him a hard time about him stuttering some of his words. After…” She stopped and took a deep breath. “After he was gone, I learned that the problems—bullying—had been going on for months. Theo finally couldn’t take it anymore and he hanged himself one night in his office. The cleaning people found him.”
“Oh God, Tess. I’m so sorry.” Before he could stop himself, Jed reached across the table and took her hand. “I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you.”
“It was incredibly difficult. Between the funeral and all the questions, I didn’t know if I was coming or going. I blamed myself for not seeing what he was going through, for not stopping it somehow. It made it hard for me to work. Depression set in and it was a struggle to even get out of bed every day. I lost my passion for speech therapy and my confidence that I could ever help anyone again. I couldn’t go back to work at the practice. I just couldn’t. Every time I walked in there, all I saw was Theo. So I left and decided to try my hand at being a small business owner. I’d saved up enough money to rent a shop and get some inventory and to tide me over financially until I started to earn a profit. Reading’s always been my favorite hobby, so I figured a used bookstore was a perfect fit.”
“You and Nala, like two peas in a pod.” He snorted softly, still gently stroking her fingers with his. He’d been right. She did feel like velvet, warm velvet. “I like a good book now and again, but I’m not a reading fanatic like you guys.”
She looked across the table at him and their gazes met and held. In that moment, all Jed could see was her pretty pink lips and her pretty pink cheeks, and he was nearly overwhelmed by the desire to reach across that table, pull Tess into his arms, and kiss her until that spark of pain in her eyes disappeared. Until she forgot all about her past and only thought of tonight, of him.
“And here we are,” the server said, placing their entrees on the table between them, forcing Jed to let go of Tess’s hand, breaking that sizzling connection. It was just as well, he supposed. He had no business holding her, kissing her, or anything else with her. She was working for him, she was Nala’s nanny and tutor. They were here as an apology for him acting like an ass earlier.
The sooner he remembered all that, the better.
They ate in silence for a few minutes before Tess finally said, “This is really lovely. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Jed smiled then took a sip of chardonnay. The lobster ravioli was top-notch, the flavor buttery and melt-in-your-mouth tender. “My pleasure. Maybe after we’re done, we can take a walk on the National Mall to work off some of these carbs. It’s a warm night out.”
“Sounds perfect.”
“How’s your Trofie?” he asked, looking at her mound of linguini pasta with roasted cherry tomatoes and pecorino.
“Awesome. But there’s enough here to feed four people. I’ll need a doggie bag for sure.”
“From the looks of this place, the takeaway containers are probably solid gold.”
Tess snorted, and he grinned and the tension that had descended upon them following her sad story vanished. They chatted about his days in the SEALs, some of the countries he’d visited, and his new job at the warehouse.
“So, how many people do you oversee?” she asked, pushing away her half-eaten plate. “I’m stuffed.”
“Me too.” He polished off his last ravioli then downed another swallow of wine. “Ten right now, though we should really have fifteen guards to cover all the bases and have coverage for occasional sick days. I’ve got more interviews scheduled next week so hopefully we’ll be at full capacity soon.”
“Good.” The waiter cleared their plates and they both sat back, waiting until he was gone before continuing their conversation. Tess dabbed the corners of her lips with her napkin, drawing his attention to them again. She asked, “And what exactly does Steenman Enterprises do again?”
“Well, I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.” He winked, and she grinned. “Kidding, though some of their projects do require top-secret clearance. They have a lot of government jobs. Lots of software programming and coding type things for missile guidance systems.”
“Right!” She nodded and sat back again. “That’s why the name sounds familiar. Didn’t they have a problem a few years ago, a glitch or something that caused one of the missiles with their guidance system to go off course or something? It was only a test simulation, but I think I remember it being kind of a big deal.”
“Yeah.” Jed frowned. “Now that you mention it, I do remember that. I suppose it’s the cost of doing business though. Every product is going to have some bugs or issues that need to be worked out. That’s why we have tests. As long as no one was hurt, it’s okay.”
“Hmm.” The server brought the check to Jed, and he handed the guy his platinum credit card. Tess opened her impossibly tiny evening bag and fumbled inside for her lipstick. He looked away as she put it on. No sense falling into the naughty pool again. Nope.
By the time he’d signed on the dotted line and put his card back in his wallet, they had their bagged leftovers ready to go and he and Tess were on their feet and heading for the exit. They stepped outside into the warm, moonlit night and began to walk the short distance across the parking lot to the National Mall, the grand white edifices of the United States Capitol building and the Lincoln Memorial all glowing in different directions. He stopped to drop their food off at his car, then Tess tucked her hand through his arm as they strolled down the sidewalk. It all seemed so perfect, and nice, and way too right.
Fourteen
“So, have you ever been married?” Tess asked, not wanting to pry, but needing to break the silence between them. It had been a long time since she’d had such a nice evening out with a man. It was getting harder and harder to remember that this wasn’t a date. This was her employer taking her to dinner to apologize for snapping at her the week before, also so they could work together to find a good spot for a celebratory dinner for Nala. She’d all but made that rule herself, insisting on it being strictly professional before accepting his invitation tonight, but now….
Well, now as they walked through the warm evening, pale moonlight casting shadows along their path and glimmering off the reflecting pool as they headed toward the Lincoln Memorial, she was far too aware of Jed as a man than she should be. His warm, solid body beside her, the way the muscles of his forearm tightened when her fingers moved over them, the woodsy, clean scent of his aftershave, the slight shadow of dark stubble on his chiseled jaw. Just looking at him made her pulse pound and molten warmth spread outward from her core to her extremities.
He was the first man she’d allowed herself to be attracted to since Theo’s death and it scared her silly. She couldn’t risk losing her job. She couldn’t risk getting her heart broken again. She couldn’t seem to stop herself from wanting him anyway.
They stopped near the bottom of the steps leading up to the huge seated figure of Abraham Lincoln and stared down the length of the mall toward the gleaming white obelisk of the Washington Monument, the red safety lights blinking near the peak.
“No. Never been married.” Jed gave a slight shrug, his tone quiet and contemplative. “At first, I was too busy. Always traveling with my SEAL team, never knowing where I’d be next or if I’d live to see another day. Then when I retired and became a civilian again, I started my security firm and put myself right back in the lin
e of fire. Doesn’t really seem fair to put a partner through that, you know?”
Tess had never really thought about it like that, but he had a point, she supposed. They walked over to a nearby bench and sat. “Sounds awfully lonely, though.”
“Eh, it’s fine.” He leaned back and stared up at the stars, stretching his arms out along the back of the bench. His fingers brushed her bare shoulder and made her shiver. Jed glanced over at her and frowned, then stood and shrugged out of his sport coat before wrapping it around her shoulders. His scent surrounded her, and though she wasn’t cold, Tess found herself snuggling into his secondhand warmth anyway. “I’m so busy right now I don’t really have time to devote to a relationship anyway,” Jed continued. “Just as well since I’m not very good at them. Flings are fine. Less messy and demanding than long-term relationships. Besides, until I can find Nala a permanent home, I want to set a good example for her.”
Frowning, Tess tilted her head. “You aren’t going to adopt Nala?”
“What?” Jed gave her some serious side-eye. “No. She needs stability and I can’t give her that right now. Maybe not ever. I’m not fit to be a parent, no matter how much I might want kids one day.”
The sadness underlying the words tugged at her heart, making her chest ache. “For what it’s worth, I think you make a great dad.”
He looked at her then, his pale blue eyes narrowed. His gaze flickered down to her lips. Heat prickled her cheeks under his intense scrutiny, but she refused to look away. The connection she’d felt between them since the first day she’d walked into Jed’s house sizzled hotter, but she did her best to resist the urge to lean in and kiss him, to see if he tasted as delicious as he looked. It wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t be proper.
It wouldn’t be in her best interests, especially if he rejected her.
After all, he’d given her no indication he returned her attraction.