Lydia longed to gossip with someone about the connection she saw between Elizabeth and Mr. Wickham during this trips, but Kitty's engagement meant Lydia had lost not only a potential husband, but her confidante as well. She tried to speak with Mary, who ignored her; then she tried to speak with Jane, who scolded her for gossiping. This did nothing to improve Lydia's mood.
Elizabeth, however, was generally in a fine mood. She had no interest in marrying any time soon, but she did enjoy spending time with Mr. Wickham. And if it led to an engagement some months down the line, well, there was no shame in being the wife of an officer. For the first time, Elizabeth understood the draw of a man in a smart red uniform. Mr. Wickham was intelligent, amusing, handsome, and chivalrous--all Elizabeth need do was remember how he offered to defend her honor against the horrible Mr. Darcy, and she felt a bit giddy all over again.
Wickham continued to appear quite entranced with Elizabeth. When she was near, he had eyes for no one else. His compatriots needled him about his unwavering attention, and he accepted their jokes with an easy good nature that endeared him to Elizabeth all the more. The closer Mr. Collins' and Kitty's wedding came, the more Elizabeth found herself dreaming of life as Mrs. George Wickham as she worked on her needlecraft. Much like Lydia, Elizabeth lacked a confidante. Usually she would talk things out with Jane, but Jane was still recovering from Mr. Bingley's departure. Elizabeth had no intention of hurting Jane by speaking of Mr. Wickham.
Kitty's wedding was set for three days after Christmas, which gave some time for preparation and assured Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner could attend. However, it also meant holiday preparations and wedding preparations were happening simultaneously, which added to the confusion and disturbance around Longbourn. Mr. Bennet, knowing full well his input was required for neither wedding nor holiday, wisely chose to spend almost the entire month of December hiding in his study.
Mr. Collins was plainly unable to leave his parish prior to Christmas, so they planned that he would arrive a scarce day before the wedding. Mrs. Bennet was quite satisfied to have the planning of the event left to her, without any unwanted input from her husband or her soon-to-be son-in-law. Mrs. Bennet had been preparing for her girls to wed for years, and now all that preparation and thought were finally put to use.
With the speed of the preparation, the holiday arrived quickly. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner arrived from London, and Elizabeth rejoiced for the diversion. On Christmas Eve, the Bennets, the Gardiners, and the Phillips decorated Longbourn with boughs of fresh greenery and mistletoe. The air was chilly, so it was delightful to stay inside, around the warm fire, and speak with one another, telling tales and sharing stories.
Elizabeth felt delightfully warm during this time, nestled in her favorite shawl and with her legs tucked up beneath her. She was grateful to have her family all together for such a festive occasion. It occurred to her it might be some time before they were together for the holidays again; with Kitty moving to Hunsford, it might be the case she and Mr. Collins did not return for Christmas. This caused a pang of sadness, but Elizabeth pushed the feeling away and turned her attention to Mr. Gardiner's story about a pig that somehow got loose on Grosvenor Street. His storytelling was quite amusing, and Elizabeth thought of how Mr. Darcy might act if he encountered a pig in London. Her laughter mixed with the rest of the family's as they enjoyed their evening together.
Christmas Day brought a flurry of activity. The morning began with church, and then the Bennets opened Longbourn to any tenants who might like to come and enjoy a cup of wassail. The tenants who visited brought treats from their own kitchens, as well as goodwill, for their landlords.
Later in the day, the family sat down for a large meal. Everyone ate their fill, and groans were heard when the plum pudding was presented. Regardless, everyone at the table managed a respectable serving. Lydia's mood lifted when she found the sixpence in her pudding.
She whispered to Elizabeth, "Kitty found the sixpence last year, and look what a lucky year she has had! This means I shall be wed by next Christmas, I know it does!"
Elizabeth smiled at her sister. What harm could it do to indulge her on Christmas?
As was often the way with Christmas, everyone was so busy the day passed in what seemed like a matter of minutes. Longbourn was warm, peaceful, and happy that night--exactly what a household ought to be on Christmas.
The following day, however, work began once again in earnest. Elizabeth was shocked to find, even with all the embroidering they had done, there was an entire set of napkins which had not been touched. She and Jane sat down and began the task of decorating them. Their attention was often diverted by the sight of their mother scurrying around the house, calling out to the servant and to her daughters.
"Whatever shall Mama do once Kitty is safely wed?" Elizabeth asked Jane.
Jane smiled. "I suspect she will take to her bed for a week. After that, I suppose she will turn her attention to getting another of her daughters married."
As she said these words, the smile slid from Jane's face, and Elizabeth knew she thought of Mr. Bingley.
"Well, whatever happens, you shall be secure in London, having a wonderful time."
Jane nodded at this, but she continued to look troubled.
* * *
After all the preparations, the wedding ceremony itself was simple and quick. Kitty looked lovely in a white embroidered gown with her hair pinned up perfectly, and everyone remarked on what a handsome couple she and Mr. Collins made. As Mr. Collins led his new bride from the church, Kitty wore an enormous smile and kept shaking her head as if she did not quite believe what had happened.
Mrs. Bennet acted utterly foolish during the ceremony, sobbing and carrying on in a way that distracted from the vows being taken. Finally, Mr. Bennet whispered that Kitty looked nearly as lovely as Mrs. Bennet had on their wedding day, and she was so touched her sobs miraculously ceased. Mr. Bennet handed her a handkerchief and the only noise she made for the remainder of the ceremony was an occasional sniff.
The wedding breakfast was held at Longbourn after the ceremony, and many of the people with whom the Bennets had just celebrated Christmas were back to mark yet another festive occasion. To the delight of both Lydia and Elizabeth, several of the officers attended the breakfast.
"It is too bad there are so many officers here with only me to speak with," Lydia said to Kitty, unable to let the day go without a bit of jealousy. But Kitty was far too happy with her new husband to pay any attention to her sister's comments.
Elizabeth was glad to see Mr. Wickham. It was his first time at Longbourn, and she enjoyed showing him around the main areas of the house. He seemed, as always, very interested in what she had to say, and asked her many questions about her childhood at Longbourn, which she answered readily.
"Shall you miss your sister terribly?" Mr. Wickham asked as he and Elizabeth walked.
"It will certainly be different without Kitty here. I do not know who will entertain Lydia in Kitty's absence."
Wickham glanced at Lydia, who spoke with three officers at the same time.
"I sense Lydia will not be at a loss for entertainment," he said drily. "Particularly if there is a fist fight over which one of them is going to court her."
"That would be dreadful," said Elizabeth, musing Lydia would think it anything but dreadful.
"I wonder which will be the next Bennet girl to be engaged," Wickham said, looking steadily at her.
Elizabeth felt her cheeks redden. It seemed as if he suggested she would be next, at his request. She glanced down at the floor, unable to answer. She finally found her voice.
"It is hard to say, with so many of us."
"Hmm. It does not seem so very difficult to me."
Their conversation shifted to ground on which Elizabeth felt steadier. Wickham kept the remaining conversation light, but he continued to be most attentive to Elizabeth and her needs. By the time the wedding breakfast finished, she was practically floating.
"Shall we begin preparations for another wedding?" her father asked her after their guests had left.
"I do not believe there is any need for that," Elizabeth replied primly.
"I have eyes, my dear," said Mr. Bennet, and retreated to his study with a smile.
Chapter 12
After the hectic nature of the previous month, things at Longbourn had slowed down--nearly to the point of boredom. Elizabeth missed Jane dreadfully, although she knew Jane was better off occupied in London than idle in Hertfordshire. The two wrote to one another nearly every day. Jane remained silent on the matter of the Bingleys, which led Elizabeth to suspect Jane had not encountered any of them. Elizabeth was sad for her sister, but she wondered if it was not for the best. She feared if Jane did see any of the Bingleys, it would undo any emotional healing that had happened over the prior weeks.
Elizabeth's life had one bright point: she had more time to spend with Mr. Wickham. They often walked with Lydia and another of the officers back to Longbourn from town. The air was brisk, but neither Elizabeth or Lydia seemed to mind, and the officers were always in fine humor.
"How does Mrs. Collins find her new home?" Wickham inquired.
"She seems very happy," replied Elizabeth. "She says the parsonage is a very welcoming house, and Mr. Collins gave her leave to decorate it as she sees fit. Her letters are full of nothing but joy."
"What does she think of her husband's patroness?"
Elizabeth's lips quirked into a smile. "Kitty speaks highly of Lady Catherine, but I get the sense she is more afraid than impressed. I think Lady Catherine may not be quite as genial as Mr. Collins would have us believe."
"No!" said Wickham in mock horror. "I cannot imagine a relative of Mr. Darcy's could be anything other than sunny and kind."
"Will you tell me what conspired between you and Mr. Darcy?" Elizabeth asked, giving voice to the question that had intrigued her since the Netherfield Ball. "I know you said there is a connection between your families, but you spoke as if he had offended you in some way in the past."
"Quite perceptive, Miss Elizabeth," Mr. Wickham said with a smile. "It is true Mr. Darcy caused me great harm."
"Would you be willing to speak of what happened?"
Mr. Wickham sighed. "I do not want to speak poorly of a man who is not here to defend himself, but as long as I speak the truth, my words cannot injure him--only his own conduct can do so. Mr. Darcy and I were raised quite nearly as brothers. My father was his father's steward, and old Mr. Darcy was exceedingly fond of me. Both old Mr. Darcy and my father died within a few months of each other. Mr. Darcy had thought of my future. He told young Mr. Darcy I ought to have the finest living available in the estate, as soon as it came available, but when the time arrived, young Mr. Darcy denied me the living I was promised. That is why I joined the militia."
Elizabeth stared at him, her eyes getting wider and wider as he spoke.
"Do not fret," Mr. Wickham said. "If I remained in Derbyshire, I never would have made your acquaintance, and what a tragedy that would be!"
Elizabeth smiled. "You are putting a fine face on it, but the way he treated you was shameful."
"It was purely jealousy. Old Mr. Darcy loved me like a son--loved me even more than his own son. Young Mr. Darcy could not see beyond that fact. He harmed me in the most effective way he could, in order to get revenge for the fact his father loved me more."
"I wonder that you could bear to be in the same room as him at the Netherfield Ball."
"You will notice I kept my distance. Although I tell myself my behavior ought not to change based on his presence, I can hardly so much as look at him. And when he went further and insulted you during the ball? It was nothing but your pleas that kept me from confronting him that night. I do wonder if he had heard of the friendship you and I have. I suspect he would like nothing more than to take something else I hold dear--and you certainly fit in that category."
Elizabeth blushed. "You are so kind, sir."
Mr. Wickham stopped walking, and Elizabeth stopped beside him. He took her hand. She was shocked by the familiarity of the action, but she did not immediately pull her hand away.
"I am not kind," he said, looking into her eyes. "I am simply honest. You are an extraordinary woman, Miss Elizabeth."
Elizabeth looked into the deep brown of Mr. Wickham's eyes and saw nothing disagreeable in them. He sounded quite sincere, but she was not sure of his exact goal. She stared at him for far longer than was proper, and noticed a wide smile played across his face. Remembering herself, she finally broke eye contact and dropped his hand.
"Lydia is so far ahead. We should endeavor to catch up."
"Anything my lady wishes," Mr. Wickham said with a small bow.
They did not talk much for the remainder of the walk, but every time they looked at one another, they smiled as if they shared a secret.
* * *
Later that day, Lydia found Elizabeth alone in the sitting room.
"What did you and Mr. Wickham speak of?" Lydia asked.
"Just what we are always speaking of," said Elizabeth, straining to keep her voice light and not succeeding particularly well.
"I think not. I looked back at one point and he was holding your hand. Lizzy, are you and Mr. Wickham secretly engaged?"
Elizabeth would rue what came out of her mouth next.
"If I told you, it could not very well be a secret, could it?"
"I knew it! I told Denny Mr. Wickham was proposing, but he did not think so! Wait until I tell him I was right."
"But you were not right," said Elizabeth, trying to undo the damage of her previous statement. "I only meant if we were engaged, I would not tell you if I intended it to stay a secret."
Lydia smiled. "I understand you completely, and I assure you I will be the picture of discretion."
"There is nothing to be discreet about!" Elizabeth said, frustration creeping into her voice. "Mr. Wickham and I are not engaged, secretly or otherwise!"
"If you say so, Lizzy. Do not worry, I will not speak of it to anyone."
"I hope you will not, because there is nothing to tell. Do you understand, Lydia? No offer was made."
"Of course," Lydia said with a sly smile. She then left the room quickly and purposefully, leaving Elizabeth to ponder the fact she might have just made a very unfortunate mistake.
* * *
The conversation with Lydia forced Elizabeth to confront certain thoughts that she had intentionally been avoiding. The conversation between her and Mr. Wickham was unusual, almost extraordinary. She had been shocked to hear of how poorly Mr. Darcy had treated Mr. Wickham--especially considering the air of superiority Darcy had about him! Elizabeth wished she could tell people about what a blackguard Mr. Darcy was, but she did not want to be so open about Mr. Wickham's personal business. She did spend several very satisfying minutes imagining how shocked people would be if they knew the truth about Darcy.
However, Mr. Darcy was not the topic Elizabeth tried so hard not to think of. Many of Mr. Wickham's actions and words earlier in the day had given her the impression he might like to tie his life to hers. He behaved more like her fiancé than her friend on their walk home. Elizabeth remembered the way his hand felt as it held hers, his grip somehow both strong and gentle at the same time. She felt a chill go down her spine at the thought of his eyes looking so intently into hers. It was difficult for her to deny she found him enjoyable to be around.
But was that enough? If Mr. Wickham was, indeed, preparing to propose, Elizabeth supposed she ought to give the idea some thought. She imagined life as Mr. George Wickham. He seemed like he would be an affectionate husband, and one who would be willing to listen to her ideas. She knew she could certainly do much worse--imagine being chained to that horrible Mr. Darcy!--but she was not sure her feelings about Mr. Wickham rose to the high standard she held for her future husband. Elizabeth had no intention of marrying someone just to be married. If that had been her concern, then she would have a
ccepted Mr. Collins' offer. She did esteem Mr. Wickham, and she found him handsome and agreeable. What more could she possibly want in a husband? When people fell in love, was that not just another way of saying they found the person attractive and amiable?
Elizabeth further imagined what it would be like to be married to a militia officer. She needed think no further than the example of Colonel and Mrs. Forster. Mrs. Forster moved with the militia, but she did not seem to mind the instability of moving from place to place. Indeed, she appeared to enjoy meeting people, and she had ample opportunity to do so. Elizabeth imagined moving to different places, to seeing different parts of the country. Her natural curiosity about the world meant this thought was not a bad one. She would have the chance to see many different areas of the country, and meet all sorts of people.
Elizabeth then imagined arriving at a ball on the arm of Mr. Wickham, handsomely clad in his red regimental. She smiled to herself at the thought. They would make a striking couple, and how many young girls in the room would stare at her with envy? Elizabeth shook her head. Her daydreaming was making her think like Lydia, and that alarmed her. No more of those thoughts. She could be rational and reasonable, even about falling in love.
But regardless of her intentions the vision of dancing with Mr. Wickham continued to replay itself in her mind. In spite of what her head might think, her heart seemed to already be decided.
* * *
Elizabeth looked forward to the letters she received from Jane. This fact did not surprise her. What did surprise her was the fact she looked forward to her letters from Kitty almost as much. Kitty was surprisingly adept at letter-writing, and Elizabeth often saw an insight and a humor in Kitty's letters that she had never recognized in the girl herself. Marriage, instead of stifling Kitty, rather encouraged her to become the best version of herself. Elizabeth was delighted to get to know her sister better through these letters.
Defending Elizabeth Page 6