by Eva Brandt
* * *
After that, I swam in and out of consciousness. Most of the time, I couldn’t see or register anything, but on occasion, I’d hear fractures of words and smell scents. I could feel the heat of familiar hands caressing my hair, making sure I was comfortable.
But those beloved hands couldn’t reach me or drag me out of my prison, and soon, I found myself stuck in the darkness, staring at nothing. I screamed, but I couldn’t hear the sound. I moved, but I couldn’t feel my limbs.
In the past, whenever I’d had seizures, I’d never been cognizant, not even a little, not enough to register something like this. So what had changed? Had someone at the school done something to me, perhaps in anger over me standing up for Mikael and Stefan? Or maybe people hadn’t gotten over the epilepsy thing at all like they had seemed to. They might’ve wanted to remind everyone that, no matter what had happened during my confrontation with the angels, I was still as weak and pathetic as I’d always been.
I couldn’t stay here. Stefan, Mikael, Callum, and Meph needed me. So did Shiro and my parents. I had family and loved ones. I needed to make my way back to them.
There was just one problem. I had no idea how I was supposed to do that. I didn’t even know what was wrong with me. Clearly, I’d fallen ill and had some kind of seizure, but why? And why had I ended up here? Was it something that happened all the time and I’d just never remembered?
As I thought this, the darkness around me started to clear. I shot to my feet—sort of, since I couldn’t feel myself move—relieved that something was finally happening.
Was I waking up? Had the seizure ended? God, I hoped so.
Unfortunately, nothing in my life could ever be so simple. The confusing nothingness melted away into a beautiful garden, one that looked a lot like the orchards in the academy. Even so, there was a strange vibe of untamed, untouched wildness here that the orchards just didn’t have.
Had I died? Was this a form of the afterlife? I’d never gotten the chance to study that in detail, although Professor Grim had promised to teach us more about what came ‘after’ in following semesters.
I didn’t feel dead. According to Professor Grim, souls that reached the afterlife tended to know when they had passed. Only the souls that stayed behind in the form of ghosts failed to process this fact, which was part of the reason why they were ghosts, in the first place.
I couldn’t be sure. Maybe I was just supposed to explore this place and find some answers.
There were no convenient paths, so I picked a direction at random and started to walk. After a while, it occurred to me that I should probably leave markings in the areas I’d already explored, since I didn’t want to go in circles.
I knelt and tried to pick up a stone, intending to use it to scratch a tree trunk, to mark my passage. It was a little rude and I didn’t like to harm the vegetation, but under the circumstances, I didn’t have much choice.
My scruples became irrelevant when I found it impossible to retrieve the rock. It was like it was stuck to the ground with Super Glue. Befuddled, I tried another stone, but that didn’t work either. A sudden suspicion niggled at the back of my mind, and I tried to tear off a few blades of grass. Once again, it was futile. No matter how much force I exerted, the plants escaped my hold unscathed.
“I can’t affect this place at all, can I?” I murmured to myself.
A familiar, unexpected voice confirmed my fears. “Good guess. You’re correct. This space is untouchable and you won’t be able to modify it in any way.”
Startled, I shot to my feet and pivoted on my heel, only to find myself facing the figure of Lucifer himself. “Hello, Alyssa,” he said, leaning against a tree trunk. “I’d love to say it’s nice to see you, but I would’ve preferred for our meeting to have been under better circumstances.”
I gaped at him in shock. “You! What are you doing here?”
He arched a perfect, dark brow at me. “I think my presence is the least of your concerns right now. I mean, if I were you, I’d worry more about my actual location than who I’m sharing it with. Wouldn’t you agree?”
As much as I hated it, I couldn’t argue with that. “Yes, okay,” I mumbled reluctantly. “You’re right on that one. So… Where am I?”
“This, dearest, is a recreation of The Garden of Eden, pulled from my own memories.” He kicked the tree and an apple fell from the branches, straight into his extended palm. “Apple?” he asked as he bit into the one in his hand.
“Uh. Maybe later,” I replied, confused by his odd demeanor. “What am I doing here?”
“Well, dearest, demonic diseases aren’t something a human body is built to withstand,” Lucifer said. “You caught a cold, but here on the island, it’s very easy for a harmless affliction to turn into something far worse. You’re now suffering from a form of demonic encephalitis and you’ve officially entered status epilepticus.”
Oh God. For so long, that had been my worst fear, that my epilepsy would escalate to the point where it would be incontrollable. Status epilepticus could be lethal in some cases, but it wasn’t death that I feared. It was being a constant captive of my own mind, unable to do anything with my life, turning into a shell of my former self, forever trapped in the prison of my constant seizures.
“Is this because of you?” I asked him. “Did you attack me?”
“Of course not.” He let out a sharp bark of laughter. “If I’d wanted you hurt or dead, I had ample time to do it before you ever came to the school. And there are plenty of less convoluted methods that wouldn’t involve something as unreliable as a virus. Not that viruses aren’t useful, but I prefer to save them for necessary genocides.”
“Necessary genocide?” I had no idea how to reply to that. “There’s no such thing.”
“Don’t be so naive. Of course there is. After all, what is war if not genocide? And the systematic culling of demons by my angelic brethren could be considered that as well.”
Ouch. Yeah, I wasn’t touching that with a ten-foot pole. There was still so much about the history of their two species I didn’t understand. My studies in Demonology had only brushed the tip of the iceberg. It would’ve really helped if demons weren’t so secretive too, but when had things ever been easy for me?
For the moment, the historical background of the war between demons and angels didn’t matter that much. While I was half-dead because of my affliction, it was better to focus on that.
“But anyway, we’re not here to talk about my family issues,” Lucifer said, as if guessing my thoughts. “You need help and unfortunately for you, I’m the only one who can provide it.”
“Please don’t tell me you want another contract with me,” I replied, letting out a slow breath. I had not signed up for this shit. “I haven’t even fulfilled my first one.”
“Indeed.” Lucifer grinned, his eyes glinting with a wicked knowledge. “And you wanted to get out of it, isn’t that right? I advise you to be a little less reckless in the future. It’s not wise to try to deny me what is rightfully mine.”
“I think we’ve already decided I’m not yours,” I shot back. “If you wanted my soul, you could’ve asked for it when you saved my parents. But you didn’t, so now here we are.”
“I had hoped the school would allow me to get close to you in a more… natural environment. But I didn’t count on you having such an effect on those idiots. Even Mephistopheles seems to have lost all sense.”
How the fuck had he hoped to approach me? It wasn’t like the two of us had interacted that much since I’d arrived at the academy. Had he wanted to use my lovers in some way and they’d averted it because of their unexpected behavior?
“You’re confusing,” I admitted. “No matter what contract we have, the two of us aren’t friends or anything like that.”
“That is beside the point, dearest.” Lucifer shrugged. “I don’t believe in friendship, and some types of affection are more powerful than human minds can comprehend. In this case, I think in you
r heart, you already know that I’m going to help you. That’s why I sent your Shiro to you, because you needed to be helped and protected.”
I might’ve bristled at that, but the truth was that I didn’t really care about Shiro’s origins. When he’d first told me he was a hell hound, I hadn’t cared. Why should I? He was still my Shiro.
So even knowing that I should’ve been warier of Lucifer’s intentions, I still couldn’t help but value what he’d offered me. “Yes, I know. Thank you for that.”
“He shouldn’t have told you what he was,” Lucifer replied. “When he died, I gave him specific instructions on what he was supposed to do. But he doesn’t obey anyone except you. Familiars can be such a pain.”
“Are you the one who killed him?” I asked, a surge of anger coursing through me. Sparks of fire danced at my fingertips as I remembered my poor pup’s suffering. He might have given Shiro to me, but if he’d also put Shiro through such unwarranted pain out of some crazy desire to prove a point, I would make him suffer.
“I would like to say ‘yes’ to that question, but unfortunately, things aren’t so simple,” he replied. “You’ll find, dearest, that I have enemies, and my servants and loved ones are targeted because of it. And the fact remains that, no matter how much your pup might try to deny it, he is still one of my servants.”
I wanted to ask him who had been the true culprit behind that unforgivable crime, but he moved on before I could do so. “But never mind that. We’re here for a different reason, to bring you back home. Are you ready for your deal?”
A powerful wave of panic replaced my anger. I hated it, but the thought of another ‘deal with the devil’ made me break out in cold sweat. The first one hadn’t gone very well for me so far. He’d yet to address the largest issue, the fact that I had no desire to become a mortal Satan.
Still, he had kept his promise and had rescued my parents. Maybe he truly was my sole option. If he could save me from imminent death, I would embrace it. What else could I do?
“Who’s ever ready for something like that?” I asked. “I’m not and I probably won’t ever be. But go ahead. Tell me what I’m supposed to do now.”
“I can’t blame you for your caution,” he replied, “but this time, it’s not really warranted. My request isn’t that significant. All I want is a kiss.”
“A kiss?” I repeated dumbly. “But… why?”
Were kisses magical in some way? Could he suck out my soul like a Dementor? Hell, demons in the famous manga starring Sebastian Michaelis could do that too.
Lucifer shook his head, bemused by my reaction. “It’s nothing so scary, dearest. Kisses can be magical, it’s true, and they can carry curses, just like they can carry blessings. But in that sense, any contact can be just as dangerous. People just seem to fixate on kisses in their stories. To this day, I’m not sure why.”
By now it had become obvious that he was indeed reading my mind, but I decided against arguing with him about it. “That’s not really an answer, you know,” I replied instead. “If you don’t want my soul, what do you want?”
“I never said I don’t want your soul. I just want you to give it to me willingly. I want you to come to me of your own accord. But that’s a little difficult to accomplish now and I’m not a patient man.”
What did that even mean? Did everything here have to be confusing?
I was beginning to get a headache, something which should’ve been impossible, considering the fact that this space wasn’t real. “So, in conclusion, you want to kiss me because…”
I trailed off, letting him complete the sentence. He sighed in exasperation, but complied. “Because I find you attractive. Yes. I realize it’s not the best way to express my romantic interest toward you, but you have been a naughty girl, consorting with angels, trying to escape me.”
Eek. “To be fair, that wasn’t something I intended. They sent the snake after me. And I was upset about what you and the others did.” Lucifer had been the one to wipe my memories first. In his case, I’d agreed to it, so it was different, but still, it made me kind of uncomfortable.
“Were you? But you’re over it now, right? And you want them back.”
“I… I…” Truthfully, I didn’t know how to answer. I wanted us to go back to our previous relationship, but at the same time, I still felt unsure. “I just want to be happy.”
“I suppose that’s what we all want, isn’t it? A little bit of happiness.”
Lucifer smiled, and this time, it lacked the sharp, poisonous edge of his previous smirks. In fact, it looked almost sad. “That’s what makes life so painful. Most of the time, we can only achieve our happiness at the expense of someone else’s.
“Take you and me. You’re not very happy with the idea of giving me a kiss, are you? But you’re going to give it to me anyway, because I’m forcing you into it.”
“That might be, I prefer this deal to your first option,” I admitted, my heart hammering in my chest. “I’m still not sure why you want me of all people to be Satan.”
“Don’t worry, dearest. All will be revealed. But first, a kiss from a King of Hell to his future queen.”
Wait, what?
Before I could ask him what that meant, his lips were on mine, gentle but insistent, coaxing my mouth open. I couldn’t have pushed him away if I’d tried. There was just something intoxicating about his presence, something that went beyond his dual nature of a demonic, yet celestial being.
There was a reason why they called him the Brightest Star, I thought distantly. This might be a simple kiss, nothing that special or elaborate, but I still felt like I was burning up from the inside, consumed by the heat he emanated.
His fire wasn’t like Stefan’s, Callum’s, Meph’s, or even Mikael’s. It seemed to vibrate through me, as if it had a life of its own. Much to my dismay, I lost myself in it, in his strength, his magic, and his seductive power. When he thrust his tongue into my mouth, I melted against his chest, unable to fight the feeling of rightness that surged through me.
A small part of me was screaming in protest. This should not feel as right as it did. I already had my lovers and their touches should’ve been more than enough.
But that voice was quickly drowned out by Lucifer’s overwhelming presence. I kissed him back, desire exploding through me with the strength of a thousand suns.
He groaned and buried his fingers in my hair, deepening our lip-lock, taking complete ownership of me. His hands traveled over my body, and even if he made no attempt to remove my gown, I didn’t think I’d ever felt so naked and exposed.
His magic seemed to reach straight into me, making heat pool into my groin. My pussy clenched around empty air as I was assaulted by the need to feel something much thicker filling me.
I might’ve done something I would’ve unavoidably regretted had Lucifer not broken the kiss. It took me a couple of seconds to adjust to his absence, but when I did, my eyes widened and I staggered away from him. My lips were still tingling and I was still wet, which, like the headache, shouldn’t have been possible in a mental recreation of The Garden of Eden. And yet, my arousal couldn’t be denied, and I hated myself a little for succumbing so easily to his seduction.
“That was nice, wasn’t it?” he asked with a tiny smirk.
It had been, but I would never admit it out loud. Even if he could read my mind, even if my reaction had been obvious when we’d been kissing, I refused to acknowledge that I felt anything for him. Maybe it was stupid and in the big picture, it didn’t make a difference, but I had enough on my plate with my four lovers, thank you very much.
As far as I was concerned, this kiss had been nothing more than a way to go back to where I truly belonged. It was entirely acceptable to be attracted to someone who was good-looking. I would not pursue it further and it would all become meaningless.
If Lucifer heard this particular thought, he didn’t seem to mind it. He pulled me closer, swaying back and forth, as if he was dancing. “I think you underest
imate yourself, dearest. I won’t begrudge you the love you share with them, because I know you were made to share that love. But that doesn’t mean I’m willing to let you go either.”
That was very similar to what Mephistopheles had said. I wondered if he’d been talking with his former boss behind my back. If he had, I’d give him the worst tongue lashing in history. His secrets were beginning to blow up in my face, big time. I’d tried to accept and understand his position, but it was a little difficult when I was in this idiotic situation.
For the moment, I’d have liked to take out my frustration on my immediate target, Lucifer. Unfortunately for me, I was denied that comfort.
The sky darkened and the ground beneath our feet started to shake ominously. Lucifer stared at the black clouds and huffed under his breath. “What a drama queen. Why must he always be so overprotective?”
“What?” I asked, my head still spinning after the kiss we’d just shared. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, it’s just Leviathan,” Lucifer explained, turning toward me once again. “He always gets upset when I meddle with one of his subjects.
“Quiet down now, whale,” he shouted to the sky. “I only gave her a kiss. Stop being a helicopter parent.”
The skies rumbled and Lucifer rolled his eyes. “You do realize who I am, right? I’m supposed to take advantage of young women in their moments of vulnerability.”
Next to us, a large rock split neatly in six pieces. Lucifer pursed his lips and let out an irritated sigh. “Okay, fine. If you want to go there. But for fuck’s sake, do not call me that again. Hell be damned…”
I could only hear one part of the conversation, so I had to guess what Leviathan was telling Lucifer. Still, the argument was a little funny, maybe even endearing. Yes, it was terrifying to witness such a display of power, but I didn’t mind it. It was nice to know that, despite being so secretive, my patron, The Lord of Envy himself, cared enough about me to give Lucifer the proverbial shovel talk.