Confused by Shadows

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Confused by Shadows Page 5

by Geonn Cannon


  "Are you still on that?"

  Jodie rolled her eyes. She took a cup out of the cupboard, looked inside to make sure it was clean, and took a bottle of orange juice from the fridge. "Yeah. A little thing like repeated infidelity. I'm a real nag about stuff like that."

  Tania stepped up behind her, resting her hands on Jodie's hips. Her fingernails plucked at the elastic of Jodie's boyshorts. "Come on," she whispered as she kissed Jodie's neck. "Let me make it up to you."

  Jodie squirmed out of Tania's grasp. "Which one of them dumped you?"

  "What?"

  "Which woman on the side dumped you?"

  Tania sighed and shook her head. She turned around and left the kitchen.

  Jodie poured a glass of juice, took a drink and licked her lips. She mechanically finished the glass and, by the time she placed it in the sink, Tania was back. She wore the dark navy slacks and light blue blouse of her security guard uniform, her blond hair pulled back in a sloppy ponytail. She put her backpack on the counter and unzipped it, looking inside for something. "You know, I wanted to surprise you earlier tonight. I dropped by Castaneda's. You're one to talk about getting action on the side. Who was that fucking Amazon I saw you dancing with?"

  Jodie felt her face begin to warm and dug her fingernails into her palm. "She's a coworker at the garage. She's not even gay, Tania." As far as I know, she added mentally. No need to clarify that for her.

  Tania zipped her bag shut again and slung it over her shoulder. "You're a fucking hypocrite."

  "Go to hell," Jodie said. When she heard the front door open, she called, "And try to stay broken up with me this time!" The door slammed and Jodie growled at herself. "And next time I'll try to think of a comeback that makes sense. Damn it."

  She went around the counter and clicked her tongue for Danica. The cat's head appeared from behind the bookshelf and Jodie waved her over. She sat down and Danica leapt gymnastically onto the back of the couch. She brushed her head through Jodie's hair and then jumped down to the arm of the couch.

  Jodie stretched out, snatched the remote off the coffee table, and turned the television on as Danica eased herself onto her stomach. She flipped from channel to channel until she found The Daily Show. She rubbed the top of Danica's head with her thumb, planning to go to bed after the first commercial break. Instead, she was asleep before the end of the first story. She dreamt of former cops turned security guards battling dual superiority and inferiority complexes, of being in a car going so fast she couldn't see the landscape she drove through, and of mysterious mechanics named Carmen who carried unbelievable weight behind their eyes.

  #

  Lance went home to her small apartment and considered another bubble bath. She decided two in one week would be a little too decadent, so she took a shower instead. She wondered how she could have grease on her upper arms and face, while Jodie managed to get through the day unmarked. It was probably a skill that came with years of practice.

  After the shower, she dressed in shorts and a T-shirt, dropped onto the couch, and turned on the television. The same local reporter she'd seen the night before, Lindsay Le, was talking to a man in a green baseball cap. She put her feet up on the coffee table and wondered if she was a regular person yet. She spent the day at work, went out for a beer to unwind, and now here she was, slumped on the couch watching the news until she was able to push herself to her feet and go to bed.

  So this was a day in the normal life of Claire Lance, was it? Was it what she'd longed for so badly while living with Kelsey and Tyler in Montana? No, this is completely different. No intimate dinners, no playful banter in the kitchen...no one to share the time with. A real life was only half the equation; she longed for someone to share that real life with. And the only person she was interested in sharing a life with was long dead, gone forever.

  "I miss you, Lainie," she whispered to the television screen. "God, how I miss you."

  She watched the rest of Lindsay Le's report and, when the woman turned to look into the camera with what was apparently her catchphrase—"I'm Lindsay Le, and I'm Looking Out For You"—Lance turned off the TV. She sat back against the couch and let the darkness of the apartment wash over her. Since going on the run, she'd spent the majority of her time in small towns that seemed to put everything to bed around ten every night. To be back in even a moderately sized town was familiar; the sound of cars on the street below and lights burning a yellow stain on the night sky reminded her of Chicago, of home, of Elaine.

  A tear slid down her cheek and she wondered if having a real life was really all it was cracked up to be. If it was just going to cause remembrances of Elaine, then wouldn't she be better off going back to the way things had been? Or worse, what if she became numb to the memory? What would be worse, constant pain or forgetting?

  She finally forced herself off the couch and trudged to the bedroom rather than try to come up with answers. Her bed was unmade, the duffel bag that had followed her all the way from Chicago lying spilled open on the floor at the foot of the bed. She kicked the bag aside, stripped out of her clothes, and lay down naked on top of the blankets.

  Within a few minutes, the sound of cars on the street outside lulled her to sleep. She dreamt of running along a dirt track with unseen pursuers closing in, of Elaine painting in an untucked white dress shirt and jeans bleached white, and of dark-haired women with rainbow colored eyes.

  #

  Chapter Four

  Lance managed to find Jodie's apartment the next day by retracing their path the night before. In the noontime daylight, Castaneda's had the abandoned, forlorn look that most bars carried when they were closed for the day. When she arrived at Jodie's apartment, she found ample parking spaces just outside the front door. Lance took out the cell phone she borrowed from Daphne and dialed Jodie's number.

  "Hey, Daph," Jodie said when she answered. "Carmen is supposed to be picking me up any minute."

  "It's me, actually," Lance said. "I borrowed Daphne's phone. I'm outside."

  "Oh! Hey, Carmen. I'll be down in just a second."

  Lance settled back against the seat and crossed her wrists on top of the steering wheel. She drummed her fingers to the beat of the Josh Ritter song playing on the radio and watched the front door of the building.

  A few minutes after hanging up, Jodie came through the front doors. Her coverall was unzipped to reveal the scooped neck of a white tank top. Her hair was up in a twist, and it brushed against her neck as she opened the car door and slid inside. A bag from Jack in the Box was in the seat, and she picked it up before she crushed it.

  Lance pointed at the bag and the drink carrier sitting at Jodie's feet. "There's a Jumbo Jack and a Jumbo Jack with Cheese in there, if you haven't had lunch yet. The sodas are Sprite and Dr. Pepper."

  "Oh," Jodie said. She opened the bag and peered inside. "Thanks. I actually haven't eaten. Which do you prefer?"

  "Either one."

  Jodie reached into the bag, grabbed a burger at random, and said, "Luck of the draw, then." She put the bag next to her on the seat and folded the wrapper down enough that she could take a bite. "How'd you sleep?"

  "I slept all right," Lance said.

  Jodie chewed her burger thoughtfully. "You know Daphne's just working you hard to get you accustomed to it, right? Pretty soon, I'll be coming in while you're on the way out. That's the way shifts usually run when we actually have two mechanics on the payroll."

  Lance couldn't help feeling a little disappointed at this revelation. She didn't mind the work, and she truly enjoyed spending time with Jodie. "Ah, well, I'll pay my probationary dues." She looked over and saw Jodie smile, but also saw a spot of ketchup on the corner of her mouth. "Oh. Uh, you have a..." She reached out, hesitated, and then wiped the smear away. "Got it." She put her hand back on the wheel and focused on her driving.

  "Thanks," Jodie said. "I've been told I'm a sloppy eater. How has work been this morning?"

  "Slow. I had a college student from the Unive
rsity of Washington come in for a tune-up."

  "Oh, God," Jodie said. "You-Dub motor brains."

  "I what?"

  "Not you. U-Dub. University of Washington...? Never mind. Guy or girl?"

  "Guy."

  Jodie cringed. "Did he hit on you? I hate those college assholes that come into the garage and, as soon as they see us in these coveralls, they think they walked into some cheap porn movie. 'Yeah, honey, I got somethin' under the hood for ya to look at.'" She grabbed her crotch with her free hand and thrust her hips forward.

  "To be honest, I really didn't pay attention. Flirting kind of goes over my head."

  "Oh, yeah?"

  "Yeah," Lance nodded. "Well. At least when guys do it."

  Jodie chuckled. "I hear ya. I would high-five you, but I have ketchup on one hand and I just grabbed my crotch with the other. There's a question of etiquette."

  Lance laughed and pulled onto the gravel outside Atlas. She parked in what she already thought of as her usual space and took the bag from Jodie. "Which one did you end up getting?"

  "Cheeseburger," Jodie said around a mouthful.

  Lance took the other burger from the bag, and freed it from the wrapper. They shared the large order of potato wedges. When the box was half empty, Jodie looked over at Lance for a long moment before she looked back at the world outside the window. She finally said, "This is really nice."

  "What, the burger?"

  "No. Well, yeah. But I meant this. Just sitting in the car with someone, sharing a meal without...insanity." She shook her head. "Sorry. When I got home last night, my girlfriend was waiting for me. Ex-girlfriend." She sighed heavily and picked at her burger's bun. "She's one of those people you apparently have to break up with over and over again. It just doesn't seem to take the first time. Of course, that means going through the stress of breaking up multiple times. On the plus side, by the time she finally leaves you alone, you're absolutely certain that breaking up is the right choice." She blinked, seemed to realize she'd been speaking, and offered Lance a weak smile. "Sorry."

  "Don't be," Lance said.

  They finished their burgers in silence, and watched as an El Camino pulled into the lot. Lance felt a twinge of memory at the sight of the car; she had a lot of bad memories associated with El Caminos, and one or two very good ones. The owner parked it outside the garage and went into the office to speak with Daphne.

  "Looks like work is calling," Jodie said. She gathered her trash and dumped it in the bag. She took one last, slurping drink from her cup and said, "Thank you for lunch. I owe you."

  "You paid for my beer last night. Don't think I didn't notice."

  Jodie smiled. "I buy you a drink, you buy me lunch? I think I'll like that arrangement."

  "Don't get used to it," Lance said.

  When they got out of the car, Lance tossed Jodie the cell phone. "Give this back to Daphne for me."

  "You don't have your own cell?"

  Lance shrugged. "I could never decipher the calling plans."

  Jodie laughed and disappeared inside. Lance went into the garage and cleaned up the tools she had left out when she went to lunch. She was kneeling next to the toolbox when Jodie pulled the car into the workspace and popped the hood. She walked around the front of the car and said, "Heads up, Carmen. Daphne thinks we spent the night together. Just in case you want me to find an alternate ride home tonight."

  "Let her think what she wants," Lance said. "I've dated girls uglier than you in my life."

  "You're a laugh riot," Jodie said. "How drunk were you at the time?"

  Lance turned on the stereo as she passed and Hawksley Workman began singing "Jealous of Your Cigarette." With nothing to keep her occupied until another car showed up, Lance went into the office. Daphne was speaking to the El Camino's owner. He looked at Lance as she entered and smiled at her. "You'll take care of my car, won't you?"

  "We'll do our best," Lance said. "El Camino is a great car." She didn't mention that she had last driven one from Texas to Oklahoma with a group of counterfeiters, the FBI, and a Texas Ranger hot on her tail. She was about to say something else when she heard the rumble of a motorcycle engine outside. She glanced out the window and saw a tall blonde woman dismounting her bike, kicking the stand into the gravel as she walked toward the garage doors.

  Lance excused herself quickly and returned to the garage. "Calico," she said quietly.

  Jodie lifted her head from the engine and immediately saw who was approaching. She rolled her eyes and mouthed, "Shit."

  "Go on. I'll take care of the car."

  "Are you sure?"

  "Go," Lance said.

  Jodie wiped her hands on a grease towel and said, "The car dies when it idles. Check the throttle body and the vacuum hose."

  "Got it."

  The blonde, presumably Tania, was waiting impatiently at the door of the garage. Lance bent under the hood where she could look for the problem, but where she could also keep an eye on the situation outside. Tania held up a leather bag so Jodie could see it, waited until Jodie made a move to take it before she dropped it on the gravel. Jodie sighed, looked at the ground and shrugged. "Don't you think that's kind of childish?"

  "Why don't you let me act the way I want, okay?"

  Jodie held her hands up in surrender and bent down to pick up her bag. Jodie hung the bag off one shoulder and said, "If that's all you wanted—"

  "Come on, baby," Tania said. Jodie's shoulders slumped. They spoke in hushed tones for a little bit longer and then Tania stepped in close. She lifted her arm and cupped Jodie's cheek with her hand. Jodie twisted her body to avoid contact for as long as possible, so Tania settled for resting her hand on Jodie's shoulder. Jodie stepped back a few seconds later and Tania's hand fell.

  "You know what?" Tania said. "Fine. We're done? We're done. Good riddance, Cali-fucking-co." She turned and stormed back to her bike. Jodie watched her go, turning her face away when Tania spun the bike around and sent a spray of gravel into the air.

  Once motorcycle and rider were gone, Jodie turned and went back into the garage. She took the bag off her shoulder, clutched it with both hands, and hurled it against the far wall. "Fucking bitch!" She blew her hair out of her face, put her hands on her hips, and took a few deep, cleansing breaths. Lance could feel Jodie's eyes on the back of her head, but refused to turn around. Finally, Jodie gave up on waiting for her to ask. "Looks like that's the end of that."

  "None of my business," Lance said.

  "She was fine...well. She wasn't quite this bad until a couple of months ago," Jodie said. "She lost her job with the police department."

  Lance closed her eyes. Another new friend with a cop in her life, just like Kelsey Quinn in Road Ends. Do I put out a beacon or something?

  Jodie stepped around to the driver's side of the El Camino and rested her hands on the body. "She had to get a job as a security guard. Drives her nuts."

  "Why did she get fired?" Lance asked, a voice in her head shouting for her to shut up and stay uninvolved.

  "Drug bust. Nine grams or kilos or whatever of cocaine went missing on her watch. Junkie says that she took it, she says everything she confiscated was in the evidence room, cops decided it was the straw that broke the camel's back and asked her to resign. I believe her, but Jesus. She became insane, talking about how her job had been stolen, and how she was unfairly persecuted on the word of a junkie."

  Lance looked away. The story sounded uncomfortably familiar. "Sounds rough."

  Jodie pushed her hands into her hair and shook her head. "You don't want to hear any of this. God. I'm sorry for venting to you like this."

  "Venting happens. You'll notice I'm not running for the hills. How else are we supposed to get to know each other?"

  Jodie chuckled and said, "Yeah, okay. If you have any rants brewing, I owe you a shoulder to whine on."

  "I'll keep that in mind," Lance said, although she doubted she would be unloading any of her troubles on her new coworker. And, dare she
say it, friend.

  Jodie drummed her hands on the car and said, "You want me to take over on this?"

  "Nah. You can just take the next one."

  "Will do. Thanks, Carmen. For letting me bend your ear."

  Lance nodded and watched Jodie walk away. Jodie went into the office and Lance decided out of sight was out of mind. She was also going to try her best to keep from getting involved in Jodie's relationship problems. She wouldn't change what had happened in Texas or Montana even if she had that power; too much good had eventually come out of both instances. But those two fiascos had taught her that getting involved in the business of strangers often led to a lot of unnecessary complications.

  She focused on the El Camino's leaky vacuum hose and put Jodie, Tania, and their problems out of her mind.

  #

  Interlude

  Cairo, Idaho

  The kid unlocked the door and then stepped aside. He nervously shifted the key card from one hand to the other. Mallory stepped into the room and turned on the lights. "She didn't look...you know. She didn't look like a criminal."

  "I'm sure she didn't," Mallory said. She took off her sunglasses and let her eyes track slowly from one side of the room to the other. Impossibly, unbelievably, she managed to find one of the hotel rooms where Lance had stayed during her trip through Idaho. The thrill of knowing she was on the right track was tempered by the fact it was just one more step in a three month old trail. Lance could have gone south to Nevada and hunkered down in Las Vegas by now. She could be in California on the border, sipping wine coolers in the sun and watching immigrants sneak across the border. Having a good laugh at Mallory's expense.

  She realized she'd been standing still for a good stretch of time, so she turned back to the clerk. He had actually been on duty when Lance came in, pulling a double shift to pay for his tuition. His sweatshirt read UNLV, which was probably what had put the idea of Vegas into Mallory's head. She smiled at him and said, "Thank you. That will be all."

  The kid understood the implication and put the key card down on the table. "Just bring that back when you're done." He closed the door behind him when he left.

 

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