“Thanks.” I swallow.
“Dance with me?”
“Do I have to?”
“Yes.” He laughs, grabbing me by the waist.
Angel looks down into my eyes, moving his hips to the music. He puts his wide hands on my shoulders and runs them down my arms, raising goose bumps despite the hot dance floor. When he reaches my hands, he grabs them and hooks my arms around his waist, holding them at the small of his back. His body feels strong, and for a moment, my own body defects; it really, really wants him. But I’m not sure if I do.
“Angel.” I break away from him. “I think I need to sit down.”
Angel smiles ruefully and takes my hand, leading me to our table. Over the din, we talk about the upcoming Maize Festival, and someone’s pot garden that Torrance and Angel recently busted, and Pecos High’s football team. We talk about Ashley’s brother, serving his third tour in the Middle East, and about Racine’s crush on Giovanni, who so far hasn’t come by the tavern. Outwardly at least, everything falls into place. But I feel like I’ve projected myself to the other side of the bar and am watching our table from a distance.
As the night wears on, the booth clears out, but Angel stays put. By midnight, I know the way I know one plus one is two that Racine and Marta are right. Angel likes me.
“So,” Ashley says when there’s no one left in the booth but the four of us, “ever find that guy you were asking about? Leo?”
“No. I went back up to the ruin a few times, but no dice.”
“Ruin?” Angel asks. “You mean the Pecos Monument?”
“Nope. The one near my house.”
Everyone looks confused, so I point south up the mountain. “That way. Above La Luna. You guys don’t know it?”
They all shake their heads no in unison.
“Really? There’s this tiny ruin a couple miles up the mountain behind my house. It’s beautiful. I’ve been up there sketching all week.”
Angel twists sideways in the booth. “I take it you’re not too worried about Paso de Demonio then?” He grins.
“Not so much,” I lie. The forest does make me nervous, just not enough to stop visiting the ruin.
Racine’s eyes bloom. “I said it before, that doesn’t mean you should be caviler about it. I’ve seen ghosts in the pass, Ruby.”
Angel gives her the once-over, then laughs. “The forest isn’t haunted, Ray.”
“I saw one, too, once,” Ashley volunteers. “I think. It was kind of foggy out.”
Angel snorts, leans across the table, and scrubs the top of Ashley’s head with a fist before twisting sideways in the booth, shooting me a cocky grin. “Next you’ll be telling her to watch out for El Maldito.”
“El Maldito?” I echo.
“That’s an urban legend,” Racine says authoritatively.
“Like hell,” Ashley squawks. “I’ve seen it! Freaking lion is as big as a freaking car.”
“You did not.” Racine shakes her head, shooting Ashley a cut-it-out look.
“You mean a mountain lion?” I ask.
“Yeah. A giant, man-eating mountain lion,” Racine smirks. “Roams the pass looking for prey. But seriously, it’s New Mexico, Ruby. Who hasn’t seen a mountain lion?”
“Yeah, but not one that big,” Ashley adds.
I stare between them, thinking about the lion I saw in my backyard.
“Locals love to exaggerate.” Angel squeezes my forearm, letting his hand linger. “Bears, deer, bobcats. Wildlife is par for the course out here. Just keep an eye out after dark.”
“Like you’re the expert?” Ashley gently socks Angel’s arm. “Whatever, I’m tired of your abuse, Angel. I’m calling it a night.” She nods toward the pool tables at one of the boys I met earlier. “Jorge said he’d give me a ride home.”
“What about you, Ruby?” Racine asks. “You need a ride?”
“I had one drink, like, three hours ago. I’m fine. Thanks though.”
“You sure? You can leave your car overnight. I’ll give you a ride back into La Luna on my way to work in the morning. I have to be in Santa Fe by nine.”
“I’ll take you home,” Angel offers.
“Thanks, guys. For real, it’s fine. I can drive.”
Angel cuts Racine off before she can answer. “You shouldn’t be here to begin with. You’re underage. You all are.” He frowns. “Let me take you home, Ruby. Racine can drive you to your car in the morning.”
I look at Racine, who shrugs. I look at Angel, whose handsome face makes it hard to resist his offer. “If you don’t mind bringing me back here in the morning, Racine.”
Racine answers, “Not at all.” But she silently mouths, “Are you sure?” afterward.
I quickly jerk my head yes. If Angel guesses I’m nervous about being alone with him, I’ll die.
Racine walks us outside to Angel’s white Ford Bronco. When Angel opens the passenger door, and I notice the Sheriff’s emblem on the side, I cross my wrists and hold my arms out. “Think he’ll cuff me?” I whisper in Racine’s ear when she moves to hug me goodbye.
“Good Lord, I hope so.” She giggles.
Angel looks at us sweetly and smiles, waiting for me to climb into his vehicle. After Racine walks off, he takes my hand and helps me up into the front seat, grinning like a jack-o‘-lantern.
“Handcuffs?” He looks at me askew, raising an eyebrow as we drive out of La Luna.
“I mean, I’ve never been arrested.” I smile coyly at him, hating how flirty I’m being.
“So, did you have fun tonight?” he asks.
I hiccup, then giggle. “Sorry,” I blush. “I’m a terrible drunk.”
“I thought you said you could drive.”
“Okay, I’m a terrible wanna-be drunk. It’s more of a contact high.”
Without asking, Angel grabs my hand and tucks my fingers into a ball in his palm, squeezing them tightly. “You know, I really could arrest you just for being in La Cuesta.”
“But you won’t … will you?” My eyelashes bat at him without my permission, and I seriously want to smack myself for being my mother reincarnate.
“Not this time.” He grins. “Just do me a favor, don’t go back again. As happy as I was to see you tonight, it put me in an awkward position. Ray and Ash should know better.”
I bite my lip, embarrassed. “I’m sorry, Angel. I won’t go back.” Waving two fingers in the air, I aim them at my brow. “Scout’s honor.”
He laughs. “Were you a scout?”
“Not for long. My mom made such a fuss about our Brownie outfits, they kicked me out.”
Angel laughs and then looks at me, still smiling. “So, now that we’re alone, tell me, how are you really getting along so far?”
“Good. Fine. Everyone is so friendly.” Except Ezra, I think fleetingly. “I’m really lucky Daisy hooked me up with Racine.”
“Ray’s a great girl. I’m glad to hear it.”
He keeps his eyes on me, only peripherally watching the road.
I poke his arm. “What?”
“I’m worried about you, Ruby.”
“Me? Why?”
Angel squeezes my fingers again, which are still encased by his large hand. After a very long minute, he says, “You didn’t tell me about your mom. But Liddy told Torrance, and he told me.” He looks sheepish for a moment. “I know why you moved here.”
“Great,” I snap, my standard knee-jerk reaction when it comes to talking about anything that has to do with Mom’s death. And what is Liddy doing talking to Torrance anyway? “So now the whole town knows?”
“No. Torrance isn’t like that. He doesn’t gossip.”
“Then why’d he tell you?”
“He knows I like you.”
“And why’d Liddy tell him? Wait, you do?”
“You know I do.”
I swallow, totally blanking.
“It’s okay.” Angel turns back to the windshield, speaking softly. “There’s no rush. Anyway, I won’t tell anyone. I just
thought moving here, repeating senior year after everything, it must be hard for you.”
“I’m fine. I like it here. Let’s just leave it at that for now, all right?”
“Sure, Ruby. But if you do want to talk, I’m here.”
I nod, smiling tightly. Self, I tell myself, don’t take it personally. He’s not prying.
“I’m sorry, Angel. It’s not you. I don’t mean to be so uptight. I just don’t like talking about what happened. I’m still really sensitive about it.”
Angel drives up my driveway and shuts his truck off. In the dim light, the half-moon turns his eyes to serpentine, a hard green dappled at the center with brown flecking.
“There’s no reason to apologize,” he says quietly.
Between Angel’s handsome face, his sweet disposition, and the late hour, I really want to kiss him. But I’m not at all sure it’s a good idea.
“Hey.” He hooks a finger under my chin, lifting my face.
“Hey.” I smile back shyly.
Angel slowly leans forward, staring at me the entire time. My logical self screams, Pull back! but when his lips meet my lips, my uncooperative self takes over. I lean into his soft, warm mouth and close my eyes, ignoring the alarm going off in my head. I kiss him back, indulging the me who doesn’t want to rationalize until something rustles outside the Bronco.
“Angel!” I jerk back and point to a silhouette between two tall pines maybe a hundred feet off the driveway. Angel follows my finger, leaning forward.
“Jesus. That’s one hell of a big cat.”
“I think it’s the same one I saw in our backyard last week.”
“El Maldito?” Angel wiggles his eyebrows playfully and reaches back to grab a rifle from its mount. “Wait.” I touch his wrist. “What are you doing?”
“Scaring it off.”
I point to the gun. “Then why do you need that?”
“In case it doesn’t scare off easily.”
“Just give it a minute.” Running my hand up his forearm, I gently rub my thumb against the crease near his elbow. Guns scare me as much as mountain lions. “Please.”
Angel sighs plainly exasperated. I scoot toward him until our thighs touch. A metal passenger door may stand between the cat and me, but I’ve seen plenty of horror movies. I’m the new girl sitting in a truck kissing a townie.
“That’s an awfully ballsy lion,” I whisper.
Angel snakes an arm around my shoulder. “You’re not much of a threat, Ruby.”
“I wish it would go away,” I gulp. “It’s giving me the creeps.”
“It’s just a mountain lion.”
“It is huge.” I shudder. “They only come out at night, right?”
He chuckles. “Usually.”
“Right.” I let my breath out in a long, noisy sigh.
“It probably doesn’t even notice us,” he assures me.
“You’re so calm.”
“I’ve lived here all my life. Like I said before, you sort of get used to them.” He runs a hand over his cropped head, grinning. “The Devil has really good timing.”
“About that.” I glance nervously out the window. “I really like you, Angel. But …”
“But?”
“I just moved here. And I’m still a mess after last year, you know? For now, at least, I think I should focus on school.”
He sits back, looking thoughtful. “I like you, Ruby. I’d sure hate to waste this kind of chemistry.”
“I just … I’m not sure I’m ready.”
“I get it. But maybe tell me when you are?” he asks sweetly.
I nod and squeeze his knee before self-consciously pulling my hand back. As I sigh, the lion walks off, disappearing into the dark forest. “This sucks. I’ve never been so aware of being in the middle of nowhere.”
“It takes some getting used to,” he says quietly.
“What if I see it again?”
Briefly, Angel strokes my cheek with the back of his hand. “Then you call me. No matter the time. I’ll come over.”
I turn to him, feeling bad for leading him on, for being so wishy-washy. “You’re a nice guy, you know that?”
Angel smiles. “I do.”
“Friends?”
He nods. “Friends. For now. Absolutely.”
Six
History Lessons I Haven’t Learned
The next morning is a full-pot-of-coffee affair. My head throbs, and my skin feels so tight it threatens to peel off in sheets. The dry, hot weather is taking its toll. Factor in my morning-after pallor and I may as well be a walking billboard for drought management.
A brief glance in the bathroom mirror confirms that dark circles have roosted under my eyes overnight. My face looks drawn and a little grey, but a dab of concealer and lipstick isn’t the answer. I need water. And coffee. Lots and lots of black, steaming coffee.
“You came in late,” Liddy tells her newspaper when I walk into the kitchen, dragging myself like a slug to the full—Thank you, Liddy—coffee pot.
“Not really.” I shrug.
“And you’re up early. Considering Angel brought you home after one last night.”
I plop down into the cushioned alcove looking out at the creek. The bay window is the best thing about the kitchen. Sitting inside the cozy space feels like being on a small, safe ship floating on a sea tethered to my own private island.
“How’d you know Angel brought me home?” I mumble.
“His truck woke me up. I looked out the window.”
“Racine will be here soon,” I blurt out. “I left the car in La Luna. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Ruby! What if I needed it this morning?”
I bite my lip, feeling bad about leaving it in town without asking. “Angel insisted on giving me a ride home.”
She gives me a look. “Because you drank too much?”
“No. Because he’s Angel.”
“You shouldn’t have left the car.”
“I don’t want to fight, Lid. If you’re going to ground me, just do it.”
“I’m not going to ground you, Ruby. I’m just surprised.”
“Up until Mom died, my grades were great. I brush my teeth. I’m not pregnant. Can’t I please just be a normal teenager once in a while?” I jump up and plunk my yellow coffee mug down on the table, effectively ending the conversation.
She looks bemused. “When will you be back?”
“Never, if I can help it.”
Liddy squints one eye and raises the other along with her top lip, waiting.
“When do you need the car?” I finally ask.
“Lucky you, I’m not going anywhere. But I thought we’d catch a movie and dinner later. Like we talked about.”
“You still want to go with me?”
Liddy takes a bite of toast, answering with her mouth full. “Why not?”
“Fine. I’ll probably go see the Pecos Monument or something. I’ll be back early.”
“Want company?” she asks casually.
“Not really.”
“All right. Try to be back around four.”
On my way out of the kitchen, I wave halfheartedly, feeling guilty. Liddy means well, and I love her. She isn’t Mom and hallelujah for that. But sometimes her ability to equalize on cue drives me crazy.
Quickly, I throw on a pair of jeans and a tank top, pretty much dismissing the fact that I resemble a half-mashed raisin. Outside, warm air assaults my skin. Arid heat has already burned through the pass and the minute I step onto the sunny porch, my neck starts sweating. I pull my hair back, winding it into a ponytail, and am about to go inside to get a bottle of water when Racine pulls up the driveway.
“Morning,” she chirps when I hop into her beat-up Civic. “You look like crap, sweetie.”
“I feel like it too. It’s so flipping hot this morning.”
Racine nods sympathetically. “September’s the worst, but it’ll rain by two, and it’ll cool off in the next few weeks. So,” she hesitates. “What ha
ppened?”
“Liddy and I got in a tiff,” I tell the window.
“I mean last night. After you left the bar.”
“Oh.” Last night. Of course. But Racine means what happened the way Liddy means do it and I’ll kill you when she says, “Don’t you think we should talk about it first?” The statement is both a question and an answer.
“Well,” I hesitate. “He kissed me.”
“And?”
“I kissed him back.”
“You do like him then?”
I scrub my face, rubbing roughly at my lips. “I’m not sure. But we talked about it afterward.”
“Afterward?” she squeaks.
“That’s all that happened, I swear! But believe me,” I moan. “It wasn’t easy.”
Racine gives me a knowing nod, then smiles. “You probably broke his heart.”
“I doubt it. I’m sure there’s a long line of nicer, prettier girls behind me.”
“He’s not a player, Ruby. And he really is a sweet guy.”
A really sweet guy. She’s right. “I’m a moron, I know.”
“What are you scared of?” she asks, looking at me curiously.
I shrug, staring out the window at the street. “Caring maybe.”
For the first time since leaving my house, Racine focuses on the road completely. She speaks to the windshield, but her voice is soft and genuine. “I don’t know what happened to you in LA, you know? But if you want to talk about it, I’m a good listener.”
“Thanks, Racine.”
“You’ve got friends here. You can trust me.”
It hasn’t escaped me that I’ve struck like the friendship pot o’ gold. I want Racine to know that. It just isn’t so easy to tell her. After Mom died, I pretty much turned my emotions off. “I’m not trying to be evasive.” I sigh. “You have no idea how grateful I am to have met you. I’m just tired of dissecting everything. You know? Of wondering why things happen when there aren’t any answers that make sense.”
“Was it bad?” she asks softly. “I mean, the reason you moved here?”
“Kind of.”
Racine reaches out and squeezes my arm. “All right, my mysterious friend. Just don’t forget, when you’re ready to talk, I’ll be here.”
Racine flips the radio on. Otherwise, we drive to La Luna in silence, but it isn’t uncomfortable. Being with Racine is so easy.
Between Wild and Ruin Page 6